1
00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:15,000
Created and Encoded by --  Bokutox -- of  www.YIFY-TORRENTS.com. The Best 720p/1080p/3d movies with the lowest file size on the internet.

2
00:00:58,407 --> 00:01:02,002
You've got spunk, Wolfhouse.
I'll give you that.

3
00:01:02,177 --> 00:01:04,611
I don't got room in my
pocket for more of your money.

4
00:01:05,180 --> 00:01:07,614
I got a little spunk for you.

5
00:01:12,855 --> 00:01:17,451
You couldn't hit your own ball bag
with your own wrinkled cock.

6
00:01:20,295 --> 00:01:21,284
Chance.

7
00:01:22,998 --> 00:01:26,900
Jesus, Mary and Joseph.
You play rim rules?

8
00:01:27,069 --> 00:01:28,263
Doesn't everybody?

9
00:01:28,437 --> 00:01:30,928
Yeah, the shit-stabbers like you.

10
00:01:31,573 --> 00:01:32,767
Hold on there, girlfriend.

11
00:01:35,210 --> 00:01:36,438
You're gonna chance...

12
00:01:38,213 --> 00:01:40,681
...you're gonna have to earn it.

13
00:01:42,618 --> 00:01:44,313
Oh, no. No way.

14
00:01:44,953 --> 00:01:48,184
Forget about it.
I'm out of here. Where's my--?

15
00:01:49,091 --> 00:01:53,960
Hey. You said you wanted to chance,
now take a chance.

16
00:01:55,230 --> 00:01:57,061
All right, all right.

17
00:02:02,938 --> 00:02:03,996
Son of a bitch!

18
00:02:04,173 --> 00:02:05,299
Up yours, Johnny Cash.

19
00:02:05,474 --> 00:02:07,601
Okay. Grab him, boys.

20
00:02:09,144 --> 00:02:11,977
You weren't trying to play me for
a fool, were you, Wolfhouse?

21
00:02:12,147 --> 00:02:13,136
Beginner's luck.

22
00:02:13,315 --> 00:02:16,751
You don't come into my place of business
and take my money like that.

23
00:02:16,919 --> 00:02:20,320
Now, what I should do is
beat seven shades of shit out of you.

24
00:02:20,489 --> 00:02:23,322
-But I'll teach you something somebody--
-Hey!

25
00:02:23,826 --> 00:02:25,157
What's going on down here?

26
00:02:25,327 --> 00:02:27,124
Todd, welcome home!

27
00:02:27,296 --> 00:02:30,163
I'm just having some fun with your
younger, dumber brother.

28
00:02:30,332 --> 00:02:32,596
Might not be the best time.
Everyone's waiting.

29
00:02:32,768 --> 00:02:33,826
Oh, of course.

30
00:02:39,775 --> 00:02:40,764
Padre?

31
00:02:51,386 --> 00:02:52,978
I'll come back for the rest.

32
00:03:10,706 --> 00:03:13,197
Great Gam Gam. I'm so sorry.

33
00:03:14,610 --> 00:03:16,237
My friends...

34
00:03:16,411 --> 00:03:20,905
...as we gather today to mourn
the passing of Johan Wolfhouse...

35
00:03:21,850 --> 00:03:26,685
...what can I say that
Johan can't say for himself?

36
00:03:28,357 --> 00:03:30,086
<i>Hello, all.</i>

37
00:03:31,360 --> 00:03:36,388
<i>If you are watching this,
then I have croaked.</i>

38
00:03:36,798 --> 00:03:42,168
<i>Now I will never know what happens on
The Young and the Restless.</i>

39
00:03:42,838 --> 00:03:46,205
<i>-He loved that show.
-But seriously, I wanted to thank you all...</i>

40
00:03:46,375 --> 00:03:51,108
<i>...for what you have added to
my long and happy life.</i>

41
00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:54,044
<i>Most of all, my mother.</i>

42
00:03:54,650 --> 00:03:58,746
<i>Mother, I always knew
you would outlive me.</i>

43
00:03:58,921 --> 00:04:00,616
<i>I loved you.</i>

44
00:04:01,823 --> 00:04:02,847
<i>Prosit.</i>

45
00:04:17,039 --> 00:04:22,136
<i>Todd, Jan,
my smart and talented grandsons...</i>

46
00:04:22,311 --> 00:04:25,906
<i>...take good care of the restaurant.</i>

47
00:04:26,081 --> 00:04:28,743
<i>It is the last piece of your heritage.</i>

48
00:04:28,917 --> 00:04:34,150
<i>And don't worry,
someone will be watching over you.</i>

49
00:04:36,925 --> 00:04:37,914
<i>Popo!</i>

50
00:04:38,660 --> 00:04:41,993
<i>-Hey. It's Popo.
-Popo was given to me...</i>

51
00:04:42,531 --> 00:04:45,830
<i>...by my father on his deathbed.</i>

52
00:04:46,268 --> 00:04:47,257
<i>Prosit!</i>

53
00:04:57,746 --> 00:05:00,840
<i>And finally, to me.</i>

54
00:05:01,383 --> 00:05:02,907
<i>Looking good down there.</i>

55
00:05:18,900 --> 00:05:21,391
<i>Say good night, Popo.</i>

56
00:05:21,636 --> 00:05:23,968
<i>Good night, Popo.</i>

57
00:05:30,579 --> 00:05:34,345
For hundreds of years,
it has been a Wolfhouse tradition...

58
00:05:34,516 --> 00:05:37,713
...to spread the ashes of
our loved ones in Munich.

59
00:05:37,886 --> 00:05:40,719
I am too old.
I want you boys to go to Germany...

60
00:05:40,889 --> 00:05:43,517
...and carry out this tradition
for your grandfather.

61
00:05:43,959 --> 00:05:46,655
Sure, it would be an honor for us,
Great Gam Gam. When?

62
00:05:46,828 --> 00:05:50,286
Well, you must leave immediately.

63
00:05:50,465 --> 00:05:53,366
The tradition is to spread the ashes...

64
00:05:53,535 --> 00:05:55,696
...during the festival
on the Theresienwiese.

65
00:05:55,871 --> 00:05:58,396
There you will meet
a Mr. Schniedelwichsen.

66
00:05:58,573 --> 00:06:01,235
He will take you to
the family resting place.

67
00:06:01,410 --> 00:06:04,140
The festival begins this week.

68
00:06:04,312 --> 00:06:05,745
The festival of the what-what?

69
00:06:05,914 --> 00:06:10,010
Oh, boys, you know this festival
as Oktoberfest.

70
00:06:10,185 --> 00:06:11,709
We're in.

71
00:07:17,719 --> 00:07:21,052
We really gotta find this Schniedelwichsen
and spread Grandpa's ashes.

72
00:07:21,223 --> 00:07:22,747
He's supposed to meet us here.

73
00:07:22,924 --> 00:07:26,155
So there's nothing we can do
but hang out and wait. Right, Grandpa?

74
00:07:45,680 --> 00:07:47,307
Come on, guys.

75
00:07:58,593 --> 00:08:00,424
Are you making fun of us, mate?

76
00:08:00,762 --> 00:08:01,751
What? No.

77
00:08:01,930 --> 00:08:04,626
We're singing the beloved
drinking songs of our country...

78
00:08:04,799 --> 00:08:06,790
...and you sing us
that bloody jingo jango?

79
00:08:07,769 --> 00:08:10,829
I reckon you're taking
the piss out of Oktoberfest.

80
00:08:11,006 --> 00:08:11,995
We're just singing.

81
00:08:12,174 --> 00:08:13,471
What do you think, mate?

82
00:08:13,642 --> 00:08:15,633
I think we should fucking brain them.

83
00:08:17,012 --> 00:08:18,172
Hey, we love Oktober--

84
00:08:36,665 --> 00:08:38,394
Hot cheese soup!

85
00:08:38,733 --> 00:08:40,030
Hot cheese so--!

86
00:08:52,714 --> 00:08:54,682
<i>Come on.
This is the Fräuleins Gone Wild!</i>

87
00:08:54,849 --> 00:08:57,317
<i>Just kiss each other, ja?</i>

88
00:09:18,006 --> 00:09:20,736
Helmut, my God, are you okay?

89
00:09:24,179 --> 00:09:26,374
Oh, strewth. They hit the little kid!

90
00:09:34,689 --> 00:09:36,122
Let's get the bastards!

91
00:09:55,577 --> 00:09:57,306
So this is Oktoberfest.

92
00:09:57,479 --> 00:09:58,639
Wolfhouse?

93
00:10:00,915 --> 00:10:01,904
Yeah.

94
00:10:04,753 --> 00:10:06,482
I am Mr. Schniedelwichsen.

95
00:10:07,255 --> 00:10:08,813
-Hi!
-Let's go.

96
00:10:08,990 --> 00:10:12,050
Gam Gam said you'd meet us here.
There's some crazy--

97
00:10:13,762 --> 00:10:15,286
-Gotcha.
-Hey!

98
00:10:15,463 --> 00:10:17,055
-He's got me!
-He's gone crazy dingo.

99
00:10:19,801 --> 00:10:21,826
Make fast! Make very fast!

100
00:10:22,003 --> 00:10:22,992
Split! Split!

101
00:10:33,381 --> 00:10:35,315
Where are we going,
Mr. Spiedelspackel?

102
00:10:35,483 --> 00:10:37,781
Schniedelwichsen. Come.

103
00:10:37,952 --> 00:10:40,079
Halt. See, we're here.

104
00:10:44,225 --> 00:10:45,385
Johan?

105
00:10:45,560 --> 00:10:47,687
The ashes.
We left them back at that tent.

106
00:10:47,862 --> 00:10:49,830
We gotta go get our grandfather's ashes.

107
00:10:53,768 --> 00:10:55,929
Come. Come now.

108
00:11:20,895 --> 00:11:22,362
We in the right neighborhood?

109
00:11:28,503 --> 00:11:30,869
Oh, hello, blondie.

110
00:11:31,039 --> 00:11:32,506
You care for a dance?

111
00:11:33,308 --> 00:11:35,401
Jan? Jan?

112
00:11:36,277 --> 00:11:38,507
Leave my brother alone.

113
00:11:40,181 --> 00:11:41,671
I miss you!

114
00:11:54,262 --> 00:11:55,524
The password!

115
00:12:50,418 --> 00:12:52,613
<i>Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink!</i>

116
00:13:02,964 --> 00:13:05,057
They're playing Quarters!

117
00:13:06,334 --> 00:13:07,323
Hey, Beer Pong!

118
00:13:09,637 --> 00:13:12,071
Upside-down Chugs!

119
00:13:12,941 --> 00:13:15,375
Come! Come in here.

120
00:13:22,350 --> 00:13:26,150
I'd bugger her
for a game of soldiers, huh?

121
00:13:27,288 --> 00:13:31,281
Hello. Pim Scutney.
This here's me mate, Rog Gobshire.

122
00:13:31,459 --> 00:13:32,619
Team England.

123
00:13:32,794 --> 00:13:36,025
I am Jan Wolfhouse and
this is my brother, Todd Wolfhouse.

124
00:13:36,197 --> 00:13:38,825
And what is this?

125
00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:42,458
Beerfest, innit!

126
00:13:42,704 --> 00:13:44,137
Is this part of Oktoberfest?

127
00:13:44,305 --> 00:13:47,763
Oktoberfest is for tossers and
sheep-shaggers.

128
00:13:47,942 --> 00:13:49,876
Beerfest is our lives.

129
00:13:50,044 --> 00:13:54,276
The ultimate test of
a beer-gamer's mettle!

130
00:13:54,516 --> 00:13:55,983
-Where's the American team?
-Yeah.

131
00:13:57,852 --> 00:13:59,786
-That's worth a squirt, innit?
-What?

132
00:14:03,525 --> 00:14:04,514
Excuse me, guys.

133
00:14:04,692 --> 00:14:08,219
Please vomit in proper receptacles!

134
00:14:08,396 --> 00:14:11,490
Wait a second.
Look at those urns over there.

135
00:14:11,666 --> 00:14:13,133
They look just like Grandpa's.

136
00:14:13,902 --> 00:14:16,530
That's why Schniedelwasher
brought us here.

137
00:14:16,704 --> 00:14:19,264
We're supposed to put Grandpa's urn
up there with those.

138
00:14:19,440 --> 00:14:20,998
We gotta go back and get it.

139
00:14:21,175 --> 00:14:23,575
You go. I'm never leaving this place.

140
00:14:23,745 --> 00:14:28,512
<i>Das Boot! Das Boot! Das Boot! Das Boot!</i>

141
00:14:33,855 --> 00:14:35,015
Hello, guvnor!

142
00:14:35,189 --> 00:14:36,986
We got ourselves a tie.

143
00:14:37,158 --> 00:14:38,819
You see them blokes in the knickers?

144
00:14:38,993 --> 00:14:41,052
That's the German team, the champs.

145
00:14:41,229 --> 00:14:44,562
Their family owns
the oldest brewery in Bavaria.

146
00:14:44,732 --> 00:14:47,166
They're regular diamond geezers,
they are, right?

147
00:14:47,335 --> 00:14:49,997
Why does the last guy
chug out of a shoe?

148
00:14:50,171 --> 00:14:52,401
That's no shoe!

149
00:14:52,574 --> 00:14:55,407
That's Das Boot!

150
00:14:56,377 --> 00:14:58,868
And she's a cruel old mistress, she is.

151
00:15:04,886 --> 00:15:06,683
Drink up, Hansel!

152
00:15:08,890 --> 00:15:10,517
Wow, they're fast!

153
00:15:15,363 --> 00:15:16,352
Das Boot!

154
00:15:22,203 --> 00:15:24,262
<i>Das Boot! Das Boot!</i>

155
00:15:43,291 --> 00:15:44,553
Schniedelspanker!

156
00:15:58,573 --> 00:16:01,804
Von Wolfhausen. Wolfhouse.

157
00:16:02,410 --> 00:16:04,401
Your last name's von Wolfhausen?

158
00:16:05,446 --> 00:16:08,176
Get the fuck out of here. So is ours!
Wolfhouse.

159
00:16:10,251 --> 00:16:13,277
We're cousins?
Oh, this just gets better and better!

160
00:16:13,888 --> 00:16:17,324
We must be related through
our grandfather, Johan von Wolfhausen.

161
00:16:31,072 --> 00:16:33,040
Why are you taking him?
Where's he going?

162
00:16:33,207 --> 00:16:35,903
We kind of need to stick close.

163
00:16:36,978 --> 00:16:41,881
-He is of no concern to you.
-But he was just walking us through. He--

164
00:16:42,850 --> 00:16:46,581
You do not speak of Beerfest
outside of Beerfest!

165
00:16:47,055 --> 00:16:49,046
You do not bring outsiders to Beerfest.

166
00:16:49,223 --> 00:16:51,350
But our grandfather
was Johan von Wolf--

167
00:16:52,093 --> 00:16:53,993
Your grandfather
was no von Wolfhausen.

168
00:16:54,162 --> 00:16:57,325
Your grandfather was a thieving
bastard stable boy.

169
00:16:58,032 --> 00:17:00,660
-What did you say?
-Baron Ludwig von Wolfhausen...

170
00:17:00,835 --> 00:17:04,703
<i>...our great-grandfather, the most
legendary brewmeister in all Deutschland.</i>

171
00:17:04,872 --> 00:17:07,363
He perfected the von Wolfhausen
beer recipe.

172
00:17:07,542 --> 00:17:11,342
It was the greatest beer in all the world.

173
00:17:11,913 --> 00:17:15,610
When Ludwig died, your grandfather stole
the only copy of the recipe created.

174
00:17:15,783 --> 00:17:18,479
Hold on a second.
Our grandfather didn't brew beer.

175
00:17:18,653 --> 00:17:21,451
He had this little sausage house
in Colorado. He couldn't--

176
00:17:21,622 --> 00:17:23,089
<i>He could und he did.</i>

177
00:17:23,424 --> 00:17:27,485
<i>He stole our recipe und fled Germany
with his mother...</i>

178
00:17:27,662 --> 00:17:30,426
...a common Bavarian....

179
00:17:31,432 --> 00:17:35,061
What's the English word I'm looking for?

180
00:17:35,236 --> 00:17:36,225
Whore.

181
00:17:36,804 --> 00:17:38,669
Gam Gam a whore?

182
00:17:39,006 --> 00:17:41,099
Obviously there's
a translation problem here.

183
00:17:41,275 --> 00:17:43,243
Hooker. Prostitute. Slut for money.

184
00:17:43,411 --> 00:17:46,869
-Now you're crossing the line.
-No, you are crossing the line! He stole it!

185
00:17:47,048 --> 00:17:51,382
<i>Und now, instead of having Deutschland's
greatest beer, we merely have fourth-best.</i>

186
00:17:59,127 --> 00:18:01,357
<i>Ja, we are not your cousins.</i>

187
00:18:01,529 --> 00:18:05,522
You are the offspring of the bastard son
of some whore!

188
00:18:08,269 --> 00:18:10,999
-Don't call Gam Gam a whore! She's not!
-Punch me! Do it!

189
00:18:11,172 --> 00:18:13,538
<i>Ja, you big tough guy.
Kill me, come on.</i>

190
00:18:13,708 --> 00:18:16,541
Do it now! Kill me.
What are you waiting for?

191
00:18:17,111 --> 00:18:21,309
Typical Americans. This is why
we don't allow you in our Beerfest.

192
00:18:21,482 --> 00:18:24,315
<i>You get a few drinks in you
und you become the Dirty Harry.</i>

193
00:18:24,485 --> 00:18:28,080
You should go back to your strip malls
and drink your Zimas and Smirnoff Ices.

194
00:18:28,256 --> 00:18:30,884
<i>Und then you can punch each other silly.</i>

195
00:18:32,059 --> 00:18:34,084
Okay. Okay.

196
00:18:34,262 --> 00:18:37,789
Okay. Sounds like you guys
fancy yourselves drinkers, huh?

197
00:18:38,232 --> 00:18:40,996
<i>Ja, maybe a little.
I think we just beat the Irish, so....</i>

198
00:18:41,169 --> 00:18:44,536
-Oh, that's good. The champions. What?
-Well, I'll tell you what.

199
00:18:44,705 --> 00:18:48,505
Why don't you pick your best two?
Because you just opened up a can of corn.

200
00:18:49,243 --> 00:18:50,540
Corn.

201
00:18:51,546 --> 00:18:54,538
We are laughing.
We are laughing at you.

202
00:18:54,715 --> 00:18:57,206
-Our best two? You want our best two?
-The corn.

203
00:18:57,385 --> 00:19:00,752
How about our worst two, right?
Hammacher! Schlemmer!

204
00:19:22,443 --> 00:19:25,173
You take the big guy.
I'll get the little one.

205
00:19:26,380 --> 00:19:28,974
<i>You ready, du kleiner Hosenscheißer?</i>

206
00:19:30,718 --> 00:19:34,620
Everyone at once.
First team to finish wins. On my word.

207
00:19:34,789 --> 00:19:37,587
<i>-Let's do this.
-Ja, do it.</i>

208
00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:50,962
Hey, boys, why don't you let us
put a nipple on that for you?

209
00:19:52,506 --> 00:19:54,940
I remember my first beer.

210
00:19:56,644 --> 00:19:57,770
Prosit.

211
00:20:44,725 --> 00:20:47,660
Allow me to introduce our grandfather:

212
00:20:47,828 --> 00:20:50,592
Wolfgang von Wolfhausen.

213
00:20:50,765 --> 00:20:52,357
Take a good look...

214
00:20:52,533 --> 00:20:55,730
...for this is a real von Wolfhausen.

215
00:20:55,903 --> 00:20:57,666
Grandpapa.

216
00:21:02,443 --> 00:21:03,637
Oh, shit.

217
00:21:05,379 --> 00:21:08,871
So you are the progeny of Johan.

218
00:21:09,650 --> 00:21:13,746
I am guessing that he is the one
who taught you how to drink beer.

219
00:21:15,022 --> 00:21:16,683
Now...

220
00:21:17,558 --> 00:21:19,788
...where is our recipe?

221
00:21:20,261 --> 00:21:23,162
What fucking recipe?

222
00:21:33,541 --> 00:21:34,940
Friends...

223
00:21:35,910 --> 00:21:39,869
...this is all that remains
of a thieving stable boy...

224
00:21:40,047 --> 00:21:44,177
...who ran away to America
with his whore mother!

225
00:21:55,296 --> 00:21:59,323
I'm a sucker for family reunions.

226
00:22:01,869 --> 00:22:03,359
Here are a couple of euros.

227
00:22:04,005 --> 00:22:09,238
Go back and get a BJ
from your great-grandma, on me.

228
00:22:09,944 --> 00:22:11,741
Now get out of here.

229
00:22:11,912 --> 00:22:15,177
<i>BJ! BJ! BJ! BJ! BJ! BJ!</i>

230
00:22:43,844 --> 00:22:46,312
They called Grandpa a thief
and Gam Gam a whore!

231
00:22:46,480 --> 00:22:49,472
We gotta go back.
We gotta go back and beat those guys.

232
00:22:49,650 --> 00:22:53,381
-Oh, come on, man, that's crazy.
-Is it? We can do this.

233
00:22:53,554 --> 00:22:55,215
We can do what?

234
00:22:55,389 --> 00:22:56,583
Great Gam Gam.

235
00:22:56,757 --> 00:22:59,157
<i>Mein boys. Oh, willkommen.</i>

236
00:23:03,097 --> 00:23:04,928
Honey, what happened to your eye?

237
00:23:05,666 --> 00:23:08,692
I accidentally walked into a wall.
Yeah, the Berlin Wall.

238
00:23:08,869 --> 00:23:11,099
I'll tell Tippy to get
some cold pig stomach.

239
00:23:11,272 --> 00:23:12,671
We put that on Janny's eye.

240
00:23:13,240 --> 00:23:17,643
So tell me,
was the ceremony beautiful?

241
00:23:18,646 --> 00:23:23,174
Yeah. Very beautiful. I mean, gorgeous.

242
00:23:23,350 --> 00:23:25,341
Was it a peaceful resting place?

243
00:23:26,487 --> 00:23:28,921
Have you ever been
to the family resting place?

244
00:23:29,090 --> 00:23:32,457
No, but I've been told it is wonderful.

245
00:23:32,793 --> 00:23:34,761
-Quiet, lovely.
-Yeah.

246
00:23:35,396 --> 00:23:37,159
And how is Herr Schniedelwichsen?

247
00:23:37,731 --> 00:23:39,665
-Oh, he's fine. Great guy.
-Yeah. Good.

248
00:23:39,834 --> 00:23:41,301
He says hi.

249
00:23:43,237 --> 00:23:47,003
Oh, you boys have done a great thing.

250
00:23:47,174 --> 00:23:50,701
Now your grandpapa can rest in peace.

251
00:23:56,383 --> 00:23:57,907
She couldn't be more not a whore.

252
00:23:58,085 --> 00:23:59,450
We're gonna defend her honor.

253
00:23:59,620 --> 00:24:01,212
We're gonna defend Grandpa's honor!

254
00:24:01,388 --> 00:24:03,788
-We're gonna put together our own team!
-Yes.

255
00:24:03,958 --> 00:24:07,359
We'll get the biggest drinkers, the best
beer-gamers, the fastest chuggers.

256
00:24:07,661 --> 00:24:10,528
Then we're gonna go back
and kick the tar out of those Krauts!

257
00:24:10,698 --> 00:24:13,292
That's my brother!
God, I missed you.

258
00:24:13,467 --> 00:24:14,900
Beerfest it is.

259
00:24:15,569 --> 00:24:16,558
They want a war?

260
00:24:16,737 --> 00:24:18,728
We'll give them a war
they won't believe.

261
00:24:25,446 --> 00:24:26,674
So how'd you find him?

262
00:24:26,847 --> 00:24:29,372
Some dude, used to work
with him at the brewery.

263
00:24:29,550 --> 00:24:31,541
Haven't seen him since
Hands Across America.

264
00:24:31,719 --> 00:24:32,879
Oh, that's right.

265
00:24:33,053 --> 00:24:37,490
I heard that when the brewery gave
him his pink slip, he killed a guy.

266
00:24:37,658 --> 00:24:39,489
I heard that too.

267
00:24:40,728 --> 00:24:41,752
There he is.

268
00:24:43,831 --> 00:24:46,561
You got nothing, baby.
I got everything!

269
00:24:47,935 --> 00:24:50,495
You got nothing! You got nothing!

270
00:25:04,418 --> 00:25:05,851
We're gonna win this thing.

271
00:25:09,590 --> 00:25:11,182
Can I have your autograph?

272
00:25:11,358 --> 00:25:12,450
Oh, no autographs, kids.

273
00:25:12,626 --> 00:25:14,719
No, no, no. Thanks anyway.
Get you next time.

274
00:25:14,895 --> 00:25:18,228
Hey, guys. Good job out there, Naka.

275
00:25:20,768 --> 00:25:23,293
Hey, Landfill! Hey, big guy!

276
00:25:23,470 --> 00:25:25,802
Hey, look what the cat dragged in!

277
00:25:25,973 --> 00:25:28,601
I haven't seen you guys since....
Hands Across America?

278
00:25:28,776 --> 00:25:29,936
We were just saying that.

279
00:25:30,110 --> 00:25:33,045
We almost made it.
Couple breaks in the chain, right?

280
00:25:36,784 --> 00:25:38,877
What's going on?
You disappeared for a while.

281
00:25:39,053 --> 00:25:40,953
We heard you got fired from the brewery.

282
00:25:43,857 --> 00:25:46,155
Goddamn brewery!

283
00:25:48,162 --> 00:25:49,959
They brew 10,000 bottles of beer a day.

284
00:25:50,130 --> 00:25:52,963
I drink 45 off the assembly line,
and I'm the asshole.

285
00:25:53,133 --> 00:25:55,624
Jim Tobleson said they called in
a hostage negotiator.

286
00:25:55,803 --> 00:25:57,737
Jim Tobleson's a fucking Chatty Cathy.

287
00:25:58,572 --> 00:26:00,540
I did my three years up at the county pen.

288
00:26:00,708 --> 00:26:04,269
Made some friends, went Muslim.
Now I'm out, praise Allah.

289
00:26:04,645 --> 00:26:07,637
I heard that someone died that day.

290
00:26:08,515 --> 00:26:10,642
Yeah, somebody did die that day.

291
00:26:12,953 --> 00:26:14,580
Me.

292
00:26:14,888 --> 00:26:19,154
I had the greatest job in the world,
brewing cold, fresh joy for thousands.

293
00:26:19,326 --> 00:26:21,920
Not to mention all the beer
you could drink, right?

294
00:26:22,730 --> 00:26:24,755
They took it away from me.

295
00:26:25,032 --> 00:26:28,058
Yep, I'd trade all this in if I could get
that feeling back again.

296
00:26:30,037 --> 00:26:31,629
What?

297
00:26:38,012 --> 00:26:39,001
There he is.

298
00:26:39,179 --> 00:26:40,703
Nathan Cornwell has discovered...

299
00:26:40,881 --> 00:26:43,941
...pneumono-ultra-microscopic-
silico-volcano-canaisis.

300
00:26:44,118 --> 00:26:45,517
Big round of applause, people.

301
00:26:47,621 --> 00:26:48,781
You want that geek?

302
00:26:49,623 --> 00:26:52,091
What's he gonna do, check my urine?

303
00:26:53,494 --> 00:26:55,462
I met Finkelstein back in college.

304
00:26:55,629 --> 00:26:57,358
He was a real brainiac, that nerd.

305
00:26:57,965 --> 00:27:00,456
Studied everything about everything.
Including beer.

306
00:27:00,768 --> 00:27:02,258
So shut the fuck up.

307
00:27:02,436 --> 00:27:04,529
What are you doing?
Put the frog on the table.

308
00:27:04,705 --> 00:27:07,037
Clean out the floxinator
or something, all right?

309
00:27:07,207 --> 00:27:10,142
People, listen up. Use your thumbs.

310
00:27:10,311 --> 00:27:14,179
Locate the seminal vesicle here,
the ejaculatory ducts here.

311
00:27:14,348 --> 00:27:17,579
Then stroke it.
Stroke it. Stroke it hard.

312
00:27:17,751 --> 00:27:20,015
Cup the gonads.
If you don't cup the gonads....

313
00:27:20,187 --> 00:27:21,381
Finky!

314
00:27:21,555 --> 00:27:24,524
Jan? Todd?
What are you guys doing here?

315
00:27:24,692 --> 00:27:27,422
-Hey, smart coat.
-Oh, thank you. It's rayon.

316
00:27:30,331 --> 00:27:31,923
What are you doing?

317
00:27:32,099 --> 00:27:34,465
We're extracting frog gamete
for cloning trials.

318
00:27:34,802 --> 00:27:36,326
You're jerking him off.

319
00:27:37,071 --> 00:27:38,732
-Who's the hippo?
-Phil Krundel.

320
00:27:39,206 --> 00:27:40,571
The name's Landfill.

321
00:27:41,108 --> 00:27:43,508
Listen, Fink.
We're putting together a drinking team.

322
00:27:43,677 --> 00:27:46,168
There's a competition
and we want you to be part of it.

323
00:27:48,015 --> 00:27:50,108
-Come on. I'm really busy.
-We're serious.

324
00:27:50,751 --> 00:27:54,187
You don't understand. I'm a respected
member of the scientific community.

325
00:27:55,289 --> 00:27:56,278
Sorry.

326
00:27:56,457 --> 00:27:59,255
-We can't do it without you, Fink.
-No chance. I have a job.

327
00:27:59,426 --> 00:28:02,827
I've got a house with a pool
and a two-car garage. I got three Ph.D.s.

328
00:28:02,996 --> 00:28:04,657
Hey! Don't do that!

329
00:28:04,832 --> 00:28:06,800
-I'm published in four journals.
-What?

330
00:28:06,967 --> 00:28:07,956
<i>Toad Load Weekly?</i>

331
00:28:08,135 --> 00:28:11,627
We need you, Fink.
America needs you.

332
00:28:11,805 --> 00:28:13,796
That sounds a little dramatic.

333
00:28:13,974 --> 00:28:17,501
That's the part we haven't told you.
We're competing against the Germans.

334
00:28:22,082 --> 00:28:23,344
Germans?

335
00:28:23,517 --> 00:28:26,975
Yeah. Big, blond, asshole Germans.

336
00:28:33,193 --> 00:28:34,785
You got 15 minutes to tell me more.

337
00:28:40,667 --> 00:28:43,966
-Can you move over, please?
-I like to sit in the middle.

338
00:28:44,138 --> 00:28:45,571
What am I supposed to do?

339
00:28:45,739 --> 00:28:47,536
You have room. You're little.

340
00:28:47,708 --> 00:28:50,302
-You wanna sit on this side?
-Fuck you.

341
00:28:52,246 --> 00:28:53,873
Jan, who are we meeting out here?

342
00:28:56,250 --> 00:28:59,811
-Jan, who are we meeting out here?
-Barry Badrinath.

343
00:29:00,821 --> 00:29:03,415
-What? No.
-Who's Barry Badrinath?

344
00:29:03,590 --> 00:29:05,387
-I'm putting a team together.
-Turn around.

345
00:29:05,559 --> 00:29:07,151
-Who's Barry?
-Don't worry.

346
00:29:07,327 --> 00:29:09,727
Who's Barry Badrinath?
Who's Barry Badrinath?

347
00:29:09,897 --> 00:29:12,229
Will you shut the hell up? Shut up.

348
00:29:12,399 --> 00:29:14,594
Barry Badrinath was the
best beer-gamer ever.

349
00:29:14,768 --> 00:29:16,998
Best at Quarters, at Pong,
best at everything.

350
00:29:19,406 --> 00:29:20,930
We should put him on our team.

351
00:29:21,308 --> 00:29:23,708
Well, actually, Barry and Todd
had a falling-out.

352
00:29:23,877 --> 00:29:26,243
-See, Barry doinked Todd's girlfriend.
-Yahtzee.

353
00:29:26,413 --> 00:29:27,437
-Zip it, Fink.
-Sorry.

354
00:29:27,614 --> 00:29:29,878
Just think about Gam Gam
for a minute, all right?

355
00:29:30,684 --> 00:29:33,585
-Is this guy really that good?
-Yeah.

356
00:29:33,854 --> 00:29:35,583
He's the best.

357
00:29:37,024 --> 00:29:38,889
We should put him on our team, then.

358
00:29:44,531 --> 00:29:47,398
-There he is.
-Where?

359
00:29:47,568 --> 00:29:48,762
Right there.

360
00:29:48,936 --> 00:29:49,925
Oh, my God.

361
00:29:50,103 --> 00:29:51,434
What happened to him?

362
00:29:51,939 --> 00:29:55,204
All right. It's a regular
hot-dog cart in here, huh?

363
00:29:56,276 --> 00:29:57,709
All right, here's how it works.

364
00:29:57,878 --> 00:30:00,540
One dollar to look at it.
Two dollars to touch it.

365
00:30:00,714 --> 00:30:03,012
Three dollars to watch me touch it.

366
00:30:03,183 --> 00:30:04,844
That's lots of nice-looking manhood.

367
00:30:05,018 --> 00:30:06,576
Back the fuck up, Antonio!

368
00:30:06,753 --> 00:30:08,414
My dick!

369
00:30:09,289 --> 00:30:10,756
My apologies.

370
00:30:10,924 --> 00:30:12,892
Five to touch it
while I touch my toes.

371
00:30:13,060 --> 00:30:15,824
Six dollars to touch it
while I touch your toe--

372
00:30:17,231 --> 00:30:20,223
Oh, hey, Jan. How are you?

373
00:30:24,738 --> 00:30:27,730
Todd. And Fink.

374
00:30:27,908 --> 00:30:30,138
-Hey, looking good, Finky.
-You too, Barry.

375
00:30:30,310 --> 00:30:33,973
I wish I could give you a deal here,
but my pimp's a real ball ache, you know?

376
00:30:34,915 --> 00:30:39,579
So it's $ 10 for a BJ,
$ 12 for an HJ, $ 15 for a ZJ.

377
00:30:39,753 --> 00:30:40,845
What's a ZJ?

378
00:30:41,021 --> 00:30:43,785
If you have to ask, big man,
you can't afford it.

379
00:30:43,957 --> 00:30:45,857
I got $4.

380
00:30:46,026 --> 00:30:48,756
Barry, we didn't come here for a BJ...

381
00:30:48,929 --> 00:30:52,262
...or a ZJ or any kind of a J.

382
00:30:53,834 --> 00:30:55,631
Move along, then.
I got a mouth to feed.

383
00:30:56,470 --> 00:30:57,494
Barry, wait.

384
00:30:58,372 --> 00:31:00,306
Jan, hold on.
That's not such a good idea.

385
00:31:00,474 --> 00:31:01,839
Barry!

386
00:31:02,276 --> 00:31:04,369
There's this big beer-games competition.

387
00:31:04,545 --> 00:31:05,944
We're putting a team together.

388
00:31:06,813 --> 00:31:08,781
-We want you.
-Twenty-five bucks.

389
00:31:08,949 --> 00:31:12,385
No, no, no. You'd be training
with us over the next year.

390
00:31:13,020 --> 00:31:15,716
-Thirty bucks?
-Jan, forget it.

391
00:31:15,889 --> 00:31:19,723
No, just show us some of
the old coin tricks. Come on.

392
00:31:22,362 --> 00:31:24,523
Oh, please, Jan, let's get out of here.

393
00:31:24,698 --> 00:31:26,222
-No. Wait.
-No?

394
00:31:26,633 --> 00:31:28,362
Clearly, you've fallen on hard times.

395
00:31:28,535 --> 00:31:31,197
This would be a chance
to get back to the glory days.

396
00:31:31,371 --> 00:31:34,363
It's a chance to show you still got it.
You still got it, right?

397
00:31:36,743 --> 00:31:38,142
You bet your ass I do.

398
00:31:38,312 --> 00:31:39,643
Show them.

399
00:31:42,382 --> 00:31:43,849
Watch and learn, baby diapers.

400
00:31:44,017 --> 00:31:45,348
Just like college.

401
00:31:57,698 --> 00:32:00,861
It's nothing to worry about.
He's shaking the cobwebs off.

402
00:32:01,034 --> 00:32:02,968
I got it. I got it.

403
00:32:03,837 --> 00:32:05,566
All right, here we go.

404
00:32:05,739 --> 00:32:07,536
-A little sticky on the:
-Yeah.

405
00:32:08,875 --> 00:32:10,843
-This guy blows.
-Come on. You can do it.

406
00:32:11,945 --> 00:32:13,378
Glasses, maybe. I....

407
00:32:19,820 --> 00:32:20,912
What are you looking at?

408
00:32:21,288 --> 00:32:22,619
Barry, what happened to you?

409
00:32:25,626 --> 00:32:27,389
Get out of here! Get out of here!

410
00:32:28,929 --> 00:32:30,590
-Get out of here!
-Barry, Barry--

411
00:32:31,665 --> 00:32:33,860
-Get out of here!
-Help! Help!

412
00:32:35,869 --> 00:32:38,337
So, what about
Dan "The Magic Man" Dunchkowski?

413
00:32:38,505 --> 00:32:40,268
He'd down a beer ball
with every meal.

414
00:32:40,440 --> 00:32:42,908
He's no good.
He had that Al Roker surgery.

415
00:32:43,076 --> 00:32:44,168
He went black?

416
00:32:44,344 --> 00:32:46,539
Don't be a moron.
He got his stomach stapled.

417
00:32:46,713 --> 00:32:49,443
Most he can fit are two Triscuits
and a glass of water.

418
00:32:49,616 --> 00:32:50,981
Really?

419
00:32:52,386 --> 00:32:53,546
Oh, boy.

420
00:32:54,755 --> 00:32:56,985
Wolfhouses, I want on the team.

421
00:32:57,157 --> 00:33:00,320
Forget about it. You're done.
You don't have any more, Badrinath.

422
00:33:00,494 --> 00:33:02,018
Oh, yeah?

423
00:33:14,675 --> 00:33:16,142
He's got a gun!

424
00:33:32,793 --> 00:33:33,987
Unbelievable!

425
00:33:34,361 --> 00:33:35,521
That's incredible.

426
00:33:36,496 --> 00:33:37,861
I'm better when I'm drunk.

427
00:33:38,031 --> 00:33:40,261
-I'll say.
-Of course. So is everybody.

428
00:33:41,902 --> 00:33:44,598
Hey. Looks like we got ourselves a team!

429
00:33:44,771 --> 00:33:47,035
-Get them in there.
-All right!

430
00:33:50,510 --> 00:33:53,536
Well, boys, if we're gonna train...

431
00:33:53,980 --> 00:33:57,472
...we're gonna need a training facility!

432
00:34:01,655 --> 00:34:03,850
It's perfect!

433
00:34:04,491 --> 00:34:05,822
It's amazing!

434
00:34:05,992 --> 00:34:08,961
Look at the size of this
graduated cylinder: 2000 milliliters!

435
00:34:09,129 --> 00:34:10,528
A direct-draw beer dispenser.

436
00:34:11,531 --> 00:34:14,193
Half-barrel capacity,
with an anti-foaming mechanism.

437
00:34:14,367 --> 00:34:15,698
These are really the coins?

438
00:34:16,036 --> 00:34:19,972
Hey. I think I found us
a creepy new mascot.

439
00:34:22,843 --> 00:34:24,811
Yeah, fuck it.
Yeah, give it a rim job.

440
00:34:24,978 --> 00:34:26,809
Don't. That belonged to our grandpa.

441
00:34:28,615 --> 00:34:30,207
Sorry.

442
00:34:31,718 --> 00:34:32,810
Listen up, fellas.

443
00:34:33,420 --> 00:34:35,388
The next 11 months
are gonna be tough.

444
00:34:35,555 --> 00:34:37,716
As tough as anything you've ever done.

445
00:34:37,891 --> 00:34:41,520
We're gonna drink beer.
And a lot of it.

446
00:34:42,529 --> 00:34:44,053
If anybody here isn't up to it...

447
00:34:44,231 --> 00:34:47,098
...l'm gonna give you one last chance
to walk out that door.

448
00:34:50,737 --> 00:34:53,865
-That's a good one, Todd.
-Good. That's what I wanted to hear.

449
00:34:54,040 --> 00:34:58,636
Because in this silver slice of
heaven here are 1984 ounces of beer.

450
00:34:58,812 --> 00:35:00,245
Golden, delicious beer.

451
00:35:00,413 --> 00:35:03,541
And no one leaves here until we finish
every single last drop.

452
00:35:03,717 --> 00:35:05,617
All right, let's have the keys.

453
00:35:07,721 --> 00:35:10,519
-All you guys. You too, big boy.
-Don't lose these.

454
00:35:11,224 --> 00:35:13,215
All right, Fink, hit me.

455
00:35:14,094 --> 00:35:15,857
Sorry. I'm a mathlete, not an athlete.

456
00:35:16,897 --> 00:35:20,389
Hey, Barry, how about
a little warm-up match?

457
00:35:21,802 --> 00:35:24,532
Good one. But I'll leave
the practicing to the amateurs.

458
00:35:28,842 --> 00:35:32,369
All right, guys, let's focus, huh?
Huddle up.

459
00:35:32,546 --> 00:35:34,070
All right!

460
00:35:35,549 --> 00:35:38,211
Guys, those Germans
are incredible drinkers.

461
00:35:38,618 --> 00:35:40,643
Better than anything I've ever seen.

462
00:35:40,821 --> 00:35:43,449
Now, Fink, they've got
this thing called The Boot.

463
00:35:43,623 --> 00:35:46,319
There's a secret way to drink it.
I don't know what it is.

464
00:35:46,493 --> 00:35:49,462
-You'll have to figure that out for us.
-You got it, Hot Toddy.

465
00:35:49,629 --> 00:35:52,029
One more thing,
I cannot stress this enough, people.

466
00:35:52,199 --> 00:35:56,727
This is a super-secret competition.
You cannot tell anybody about this.

467
00:35:56,903 --> 00:35:58,063
Or else what?

468
00:35:58,238 --> 00:36:00,638
The guy that brought us there,
they killed him.

469
00:36:04,377 --> 00:36:07,505
But let's not worry about that now.

470
00:36:09,282 --> 00:36:11,216
-Let's drink some beer!
-Yeah!

471
00:36:11,384 --> 00:36:14,080
-All right!
-Yeah, cheers!

472
00:36:20,994 --> 00:36:22,188
Ice cold.

473
00:36:22,362 --> 00:36:23,795
-Anyone else's cold?
-Really cold.

474
00:36:23,964 --> 00:36:27,525
Drinking and dancing at the same time.
That's what's making it tough.

475
00:36:27,701 --> 00:36:29,794
Thought there might be a bug in there.

476
00:36:29,970 --> 00:36:33,167
My teeth hurt, it's so cold.
That's what makes me have to stop a bit.

477
00:36:33,340 --> 00:36:35,808
-How many beers in this thing?
-About 125 beers, yeah.

478
00:36:35,976 --> 00:36:37,671
A hundred and twenty-five?

479
00:36:37,844 --> 00:36:39,675
Might have a cavity here.

480
00:36:41,114 --> 00:36:43,446
-You're dead, bitch.
-Oh, yeah?

481
00:36:44,618 --> 00:36:47,781
Remember we made Fudgsicles out
of shit and Mark DeFanti ate one?

482
00:36:50,190 --> 00:36:51,179
Eight points.

483
00:36:54,327 --> 00:36:56,693
These big ones have
a different flight pattern.

484
00:36:57,530 --> 00:36:59,464
Nobody said it was gonna be easy.

485
00:37:00,300 --> 00:37:02,200
That shiner's sure starting to fade, huh?

486
00:37:02,369 --> 00:37:04,030
Yeah, I kind of wish it wouldn't.

487
00:37:04,204 --> 00:37:06,638
It's great motivation.
A reminder of the humiliation.

488
00:37:06,806 --> 00:37:08,831
I wouldn't mind having it
while training.

489
00:37:09,876 --> 00:37:11,537
Okay.

490
00:37:19,152 --> 00:37:21,177
You are a good friend.

491
00:37:21,354 --> 00:37:23,754
All right, here we go.

492
00:37:27,193 --> 00:37:28,820
Oh, yeah.

493
00:37:28,995 --> 00:37:30,929
I know you love it, Muscle Lips.
Let's go.

494
00:37:31,097 --> 00:37:33,258
Lap it up, you hungry son of a bitch.

495
00:37:34,200 --> 00:37:35,258
Sorry.

496
00:37:35,602 --> 00:37:37,900
Get a handle on your Frisbee, college boy.

497
00:37:38,071 --> 00:37:41,563
<i>Don't go there. You do not sully a yarmulke,
you goyim schmendrik miskayt.</i>

498
00:37:41,741 --> 00:37:44,073
I don't know why you're here.
You can't drink beer.

499
00:37:44,244 --> 00:37:46,405
I'll show you how to drink
a beer, motherfucker.

500
00:37:46,579 --> 00:37:47,603
Fucking man cow.

501
00:37:52,252 --> 00:37:54,516
Hey, I think somebody's trying
to chug in my face!

502
00:37:54,688 --> 00:37:55,746
Look out, Germans!

503
00:37:55,922 --> 00:37:57,287
<i>You got chutzpah, Fuckelstein.</i>

504
00:38:02,128 --> 00:38:04,153
-That's great.
-Hey, Todd.

505
00:38:04,331 --> 00:38:07,596
About the old girlfriend thing.
Can we bury the hatchet, buddy?

506
00:38:08,935 --> 00:38:11,733
-I don't know.
-It was just a one-night stand, right?

507
00:38:12,372 --> 00:38:14,966
Wasn't even that good-looking.
Real dead fish, right?

508
00:38:15,976 --> 00:38:20,345
I mean, she just laid there, taking it
like a plastic fuck doll, am I right?

509
00:38:22,315 --> 00:38:25,079
I happen to have married
that plastic fuck doll!

510
00:38:25,251 --> 00:38:26,582
Todd, no!

511
00:38:27,454 --> 00:38:29,854
Hey! Get off him!

512
00:38:32,692 --> 00:38:34,319
Someone's chewing my leg!

513
00:38:49,175 --> 00:38:51,735
I hate you, Badrinath!

514
00:39:02,522 --> 00:39:06,891
Oh, my God. Phil. Phil, honey.

515
00:39:07,060 --> 00:39:08,925
Oh, my God.

516
00:39:10,563 --> 00:39:11,655
Hello? Yes.

517
00:39:11,831 --> 00:39:14,959
We need an ambulance immediately
at 622 Francis Drive.

518
00:39:17,337 --> 00:39:19,430
Come on, Phil.
Stay with me, honey.

519
00:39:25,311 --> 00:39:27,711
Oh, my God, what is that?

520
00:39:27,881 --> 00:39:29,473
Ham.

521
00:39:30,216 --> 00:39:31,205
Phil?

522
00:39:52,238 --> 00:39:54,604
Not again.

523
00:40:21,701 --> 00:40:22,690
How'd we do?

524
00:40:25,371 --> 00:40:26,599
Not good.

525
00:40:29,576 --> 00:40:34,104
If we're gonna drink like the Germans,
I think we're gonna need a little help.

526
00:40:34,581 --> 00:40:36,071
You don't have to yell.

527
00:40:37,584 --> 00:40:40,451
Don't say anything to Great Gam Gam
about the competition.

528
00:40:40,887 --> 00:40:42,479
Don't talk about her being a whore.

529
00:40:42,655 --> 00:40:44,418
-She's a whore?
-No, she's not a whore.

530
00:40:44,591 --> 00:40:46,786
-So what if she was a whore?
-She's not.

531
00:40:46,960 --> 00:40:49,394
I'm just saying, some of
my best friends are whores.

532
00:40:49,562 --> 00:40:50,756
Yeah, we know.

533
00:40:52,532 --> 00:40:55,092
Nice to meet you, Mrs. Wolfhouse.

534
00:40:56,569 --> 00:40:58,434
-Can I help you?
-Who are you?

535
00:40:58,738 --> 00:40:59,932
My name's Cherry.

536
00:41:00,106 --> 00:41:02,802
-Is everything okay?
-Everything is fine.

537
00:41:02,976 --> 00:41:04,637
Great Gam Gam.

538
00:41:04,811 --> 00:41:09,305
Cherry is here to help me
now that my Johan is gone.

539
00:41:10,783 --> 00:41:13,149
<i>Mein darling great-grandboys...</i>

540
00:41:13,319 --> 00:41:15,879
<i>...und their delicious-looking friends.</i>

541
00:41:16,055 --> 00:41:18,023
Come in.

542
00:41:22,595 --> 00:41:24,995
And summer sausage.

543
00:41:25,165 --> 00:41:27,065
Just came out of the refrigerator.

544
00:41:27,233 --> 00:41:31,226
Here, try this. Oh, no, wait.
Here, let me warm it up for you.

545
00:41:43,283 --> 00:41:44,580
No, that's fine. We're okay.

546
00:41:44,751 --> 00:41:49,085
When we were at Oktoberfest, we noticed
that the Germans were excellent drinkers.

547
00:41:49,255 --> 00:41:52,486
-Oh, yeah, that is true. That is a true thing.
-How do they get good?

548
00:41:52,659 --> 00:41:54,957
Well, from the time
that they are little kids...

549
00:41:55,128 --> 00:41:57,756
...Germans are raised
to be excellent beer drinkers.

550
00:41:57,931 --> 00:42:00,365
-How?
-Well, for one thing...

551
00:42:00,533 --> 00:42:03,001
...they train high up in the Alps.

552
00:42:03,169 --> 00:42:07,572
Interesting. High-altitude training.
Similar to the Kenyan marathon runners.

553
00:42:07,740 --> 00:42:11,369
They are also taught to relax
the muscles of the throat.

554
00:42:11,544 --> 00:42:14,012
Germans can pretty much
stick anything down there.

555
00:42:14,180 --> 00:42:18,810
I myself can probably fit in at least....
Oh, at least nine inches.

556
00:42:19,285 --> 00:42:22,777
-Here, let me show you.
-No. You don't have to demonstrate.

557
00:42:22,956 --> 00:42:24,389
What else do the Germans do?

558
00:42:24,557 --> 00:42:28,516
They also practice by drinking
the urine of a ram.

559
00:42:29,028 --> 00:42:31,019
-The what?
-They drink ram's piss.

560
00:42:31,197 --> 00:42:33,062
-Because of the pH balance?
-No.

561
00:42:33,233 --> 00:42:38,193
Because if you can drink ram's piss,
fuck, you can drink almost anything.

562
00:42:39,272 --> 00:42:42,207
-She said "fuck."
-Gam, who's drinking piss, honey?

563
00:42:42,375 --> 00:42:46,004
No, I was saying it was a tradition
back in the old country.

564
00:42:46,312 --> 00:42:49,179
Damn, that's nasty. The old country
must have been fucked up.

565
00:42:49,349 --> 00:42:51,317
Now, come on, baby,
it's time for your nap.

566
00:42:51,484 --> 00:42:53,452
-Come on.
-Okay. Well....

567
00:42:53,620 --> 00:42:55,053
See you boys later.

568
00:42:56,289 --> 00:43:00,282
I always sleep better
when I have a little sausage in me.

569
00:43:07,033 --> 00:43:08,660
Look, if you ask me...

570
00:43:08,835 --> 00:43:11,929
...l'd have to say the whole whore thing
is a real possibility.

571
00:43:12,105 --> 00:43:16,041
Bavarians have been warming
sausages like that for hundreds of years.

572
00:43:16,209 --> 00:43:18,336
Would you say
it's their oldest profession?

573
00:43:18,511 --> 00:43:19,535
Shut up, Landfill.

574
00:43:19,712 --> 00:43:22,647
All right, but more importantly,
where are we gonna find a ram?

575
00:43:38,498 --> 00:43:40,625
I'm gonna fucking puke.

576
00:43:41,801 --> 00:43:44,292
That's the most
disgusting thing I've ever drank.

577
00:43:44,470 --> 00:43:45,801
I doubt that, playboy.

578
00:43:48,341 --> 00:43:50,070
Oh, God, is there anything better?

579
00:43:50,376 --> 00:43:51,502
Not right now.

580
00:43:54,314 --> 00:43:57,078
You know, fellas,
maybe training alone on a rooftop...

581
00:43:57,250 --> 00:43:59,741
...drinking ram piss isn't the way to go.

582
00:43:59,919 --> 00:44:03,514
Maybe we should get out there and
mix it up with some randoms, you know?

583
00:44:03,690 --> 00:44:06,090
-Smart idea, college boy.
-Go test our mettle.

584
00:44:06,259 --> 00:44:08,591
Yeah, challenge somebody.
Challenge ourselves.

585
00:44:08,795 --> 00:44:09,989
Let's get bombed!

586
00:44:10,163 --> 00:44:11,755
Yeah!

587
00:44:35,555 --> 00:44:38,991
<i>Hey. Who ordered
the Queer Eye makeover?</i>

588
00:44:55,541 --> 00:44:57,736
We're the party brigade.

589
00:44:57,910 --> 00:45:00,037
We're here to play
some drinking games.

590
00:45:06,185 --> 00:45:07,982
Drink. You're rowing on the wrong side.

591
00:45:08,154 --> 00:45:09,314
You've gotta drink.

592
00:45:09,522 --> 00:45:10,819
I've got one.

593
00:45:10,990 --> 00:45:13,049
I never made out with Tommy Mullarky.

594
00:45:18,097 --> 00:45:21,430
My turn. I never fooled around
with Coach Gerber.

595
00:45:32,178 --> 00:45:34,078
This one's called the Strikeout.

596
00:45:34,247 --> 00:45:36,477
What you're gonna do is take a hit...

597
00:45:36,649 --> 00:45:39,777
...chug your beer, do a shot,
then blow out the smoke.

598
00:45:39,952 --> 00:45:41,783
Here goes nothing.

599
00:45:45,758 --> 00:45:48,192
Careful, dude. It's gonna fuck you up.

600
00:46:06,279 --> 00:46:09,373
That's not bad at all.

601
00:46:10,616 --> 00:46:11,640
"Strikeout," right?

602
00:46:13,820 --> 00:46:15,412
That's nothing.

603
00:46:16,389 --> 00:46:17,856
Don't...

604
00:46:18,658 --> 00:46:21,183
...really, however, see what...

605
00:46:21,461 --> 00:46:22,689
...all the...

606
00:46:23,029 --> 00:46:24,496
...fuss is about.

607
00:46:25,698 --> 00:46:29,156
-Oh, yeah. Way to go Dr. Finklestein.
-Do I know you?

608
00:46:29,335 --> 00:46:32,065
-Yeah. It's me, Jerry, your paperboy.
-Hey, Jerry.

609
00:46:33,206 --> 00:46:38,041
While I have you here, you forgot
my Sunday supplement last week.

610
00:47:11,511 --> 00:47:14,344
Wake up, Finky. Wake up.

611
00:47:15,281 --> 00:47:17,579
Cops, cops, cops!

612
00:47:30,029 --> 00:47:32,463
Dude, aren't you like 40?

613
00:47:36,068 --> 00:47:37,695
I'm 33.

614
00:47:45,478 --> 00:47:47,309
Hey, what the hell?

615
00:47:47,813 --> 00:47:48,802
Help!

616
00:47:50,983 --> 00:47:53,349
What a great morning.

617
00:48:11,637 --> 00:48:12,626
Night, ladies.

618
00:48:12,805 --> 00:48:14,136
-Night, Todd.
-Bye, Todd.

619
00:48:14,540 --> 00:48:15,973
Say hi to the missus.

620
00:48:16,142 --> 00:48:17,507
All right, guys, come on.

621
00:48:17,677 --> 00:48:20,009
-One, two, three.
-Go.

622
00:48:21,414 --> 00:48:23,211
My glasses!

623
00:48:25,618 --> 00:48:27,051
Two, three, go.

624
00:48:31,924 --> 00:48:33,721
Maybe we'll move to mugs tomorrow.

625
00:48:33,893 --> 00:48:35,155
He's so strict.

626
00:48:35,328 --> 00:48:36,454
Hey, Finky...

627
00:48:36,629 --> 00:48:38,995
-...how you doing with The Boot?
-Not there yet.

628
00:48:39,165 --> 00:48:42,328
I have figured out the problem,
I just don't know the solution yet.

629
00:48:42,501 --> 00:48:43,661
Check this out.

630
00:48:43,836 --> 00:48:46,828
Hey, fellas, gather up.

631
00:48:51,010 --> 00:48:52,034
Here's the thing.

632
00:48:52,211 --> 00:48:57,148
When you drink, the shape of the boot
causes an air bubble to form in the toe.

633
00:48:57,316 --> 00:48:58,305
The bubble.

634
00:48:58,484 --> 00:49:00,475
This air bubble
shoots around the heel...

635
00:49:00,653 --> 00:49:03,121
...and explodes towards your face
while drinking.

636
00:49:03,289 --> 00:49:05,723
In your face, it explodes.

637
00:49:05,891 --> 00:49:08,655
-It's impossible to handle.
-It's impossible to handle.

638
00:49:08,828 --> 00:49:10,887
It's unavoidable.
The Germans know how.

639
00:49:11,063 --> 00:49:14,191
I find the whole thing frustrating
because I can't figure it out.

640
00:49:14,367 --> 00:49:16,096
It's frustrating.

641
00:49:16,268 --> 00:49:17,735
It's frustrating.

642
00:49:17,903 --> 00:49:19,598
It's frustrating.

643
00:49:19,772 --> 00:49:22,104
It's frustrating. It's frustrat--

644
00:49:22,274 --> 00:49:23,866
Can you get the puppet off of me?!

645
00:49:24,343 --> 00:49:26,937
-Hey, it's Popo.
-Sorry.

646
00:49:27,113 --> 00:49:28,341
You knocked his head off.

647
00:49:28,514 --> 00:49:30,448
Wait, wait. There's something in there.

648
00:49:31,150 --> 00:49:32,549
Hey, what is that?

649
00:49:34,520 --> 00:49:36,818
-Looks like it's German.
-Aren't you guys German?

650
00:49:37,323 --> 00:49:38,722
-Yeah, so?
-Give me that.

651
00:49:39,325 --> 00:49:42,021
I used to work
on a German cruise ship.

652
00:49:47,033 --> 00:49:48,330
Yeah, it's a beer recipe.

653
00:49:48,501 --> 00:49:50,662
-Really?
-What recipe?

654
00:49:51,337 --> 00:49:52,998
Must be the old German beer recipe.

655
00:49:53,172 --> 00:49:56,664
Those Germans said our grandfather
stole their family recipe.

656
00:49:56,842 --> 00:49:59,310
-lf he had it, why didn't he brew it?
-Hebrew?

657
00:49:59,478 --> 00:50:02,345
-Maybe he didn't know it was in here.
-It supposed to be good?

658
00:50:02,515 --> 00:50:06,611
If this is the recipe, this used to be
Germany's greatest beer.

659
00:50:09,622 --> 00:50:11,214
Okay, we want three cups.

660
00:50:11,390 --> 00:50:12,448
That's right. Good.

661
00:50:12,625 --> 00:50:14,616
Pour it on in, pour it on in.

662
00:50:14,794 --> 00:50:16,625
Okay, good. Let's have a little....

663
00:50:36,682 --> 00:50:38,673
-How is it, Jan?
-Tell us.

664
00:50:38,851 --> 00:50:39,943
It's....

665
00:50:40,119 --> 00:50:41,950
It's beautiful.

666
00:50:49,028 --> 00:50:50,791
-It's magical.
-It's laughing at me.

667
00:50:50,963 --> 00:50:52,760
I wish I could brush my teeth with it.

668
00:50:52,932 --> 00:50:55,162
-I wanna put my dick in it.
-I want it to put its dick in me.

669
00:50:55,334 --> 00:50:58,303
I wish it were winter, we could
make it into ice and skate on it.

670
00:50:58,471 --> 00:51:00,564
Then melt it in the springtime
and drink it.

671
00:51:02,875 --> 00:51:04,900
Hey, what's the matter, Jan?

672
00:51:08,147 --> 00:51:10,877
This means Gam Gam
really was a whore.

673
00:51:23,295 --> 00:51:24,455
It is good, it is good.

674
00:51:28,267 --> 00:51:30,098
I can't serve it fast enough.

675
00:51:30,269 --> 00:51:33,102
-Hey, buddy.
-Go with God.

676
00:51:33,272 --> 00:51:35,638
Hey, Wolfie. Give me a Schnitz.

677
00:51:37,610 --> 00:51:39,544
-Nice bottle.
-Hey, Landfill.

678
00:51:42,448 --> 00:51:44,439
Look at this guy! He's getting better.

679
00:51:46,552 --> 00:51:48,679
Dude, you want a Schnitz?

680
00:51:49,355 --> 00:51:51,482
Do you want a tip with that?

681
00:51:52,758 --> 00:51:53,918
Yeah.

682
00:51:54,226 --> 00:51:55,250
Good one.

683
00:51:55,528 --> 00:51:57,758
-Give me six Schnitzes.
-What the doctor ordered.

684
00:52:04,870 --> 00:52:06,735
Drink, drink, drink!

685
00:52:17,950 --> 00:52:19,884
Good, good, good.

686
00:52:23,289 --> 00:52:24,449
Special delivery!

687
00:52:25,291 --> 00:52:27,486
I have this special delivery
for Herr Baron.

688
00:52:27,660 --> 00:52:29,150
Can't you see we are training?

689
00:52:29,595 --> 00:52:32,860
<i>I am so sorry, but this package
comes all the way from America, ja...</i>

690
00:52:33,032 --> 00:52:35,865
...and look, it is marked:
"Most urgent."

691
00:52:56,989 --> 00:52:58,081
What is it, Grandpapa?

692
00:53:03,162 --> 00:53:04,561
They have the recipe.

693
00:53:06,866 --> 00:53:09,334
-Who else knows of this package?
-Absolutely no one.

694
00:53:09,501 --> 00:53:10,661
Only me. It's just me.

695
00:53:10,836 --> 00:53:12,360
-Dispose of him.
-Wait!

696
00:53:12,705 --> 00:53:15,367
No, no, no! What about
"Don't shoot the messenger," right?

697
00:53:15,541 --> 00:53:17,372
We're not going to shoot you.

698
00:53:17,543 --> 00:53:20,011
Boys, prepare your things.

699
00:53:20,212 --> 00:53:21,338
We are going to America.

700
00:53:23,782 --> 00:53:26,910
To get our recipe!

701
00:53:27,920 --> 00:53:31,321
<i>Hasta la vista, messenger boy.</i>

702
00:53:34,059 --> 00:53:36,254
<i>Up your nose mit the rubber hose!</i>

703
00:53:41,667 --> 00:53:45,728
I don't really have a move
except this one.

704
00:53:45,905 --> 00:53:47,463
Are you out?

705
00:53:47,640 --> 00:53:48,937
Finish your beer, asshole.

706
00:53:50,576 --> 00:53:51,565
<i>Asshole!</i>

707
00:53:51,744 --> 00:53:53,439
<i>Asshole! Asshole! Asshole!</i>

708
00:53:56,615 --> 00:53:58,480
Eat that tomato in one bite, asshole.

709
00:53:59,251 --> 00:54:02,652
<i>Asshole! Asshole! Asshole!</i>

710
00:54:05,557 --> 00:54:07,457
-Good job, asshole.
-Oh, no.

711
00:54:07,626 --> 00:54:09,059
-Where you going?
-Get out of here.

712
00:54:09,611 --> 00:54:11,545
Watch out. He's coming your way.

713
00:54:11,713 --> 00:54:13,772
See you later, asshole.

714
00:54:14,282 --> 00:54:15,271
Hey, Jan.

715
00:54:17,519 --> 00:54:20,079
-You all right?
-That's a good shot.

716
00:54:20,588 --> 00:54:22,112
Like the love.

717
00:54:30,231 --> 00:54:31,858
Yeah.

718
00:54:40,675 --> 00:54:42,643
Looking good, Barry.

719
00:54:44,012 --> 00:54:47,470
Looking good,
you handsome motherfucker.

720
00:55:03,598 --> 00:55:06,761
We gotta get you out of those
wet clothes and into a dry martini.

721
00:55:06,935 --> 00:55:09,699
-What?
-I said, "Out of the martini?"

722
00:55:09,871 --> 00:55:12,772
-Get away from me.
-All right.

723
00:55:43,304 --> 00:55:44,999
Two shots, please.

724
00:55:45,173 --> 00:55:47,607
How about a little Sex on the Beach?

725
00:55:48,076 --> 00:55:50,101
I think my place is closer.

726
00:55:52,147 --> 00:55:55,446
-You wanna get out of here?
-You looking for a little slap and tickle?

727
00:55:55,617 --> 00:55:57,744
Oh, yeah. Something like that.

728
00:56:00,555 --> 00:56:02,352
I'm gonna go grab a taxi, baby.

729
00:56:02,524 --> 00:56:04,116
Okay.

730
00:56:06,227 --> 00:56:08,491
-Yeah?
-Barry, what are you doing?

731
00:56:08,663 --> 00:56:10,893
You kidding me? She's hot as hell.

732
00:56:11,065 --> 00:56:13,226
I'm looking for
a little slap and pickle.

733
00:56:13,401 --> 00:56:15,266
You sure you wanna do this?
You're drunk.

734
00:56:15,437 --> 00:56:19,806
I'm drunk. You're drunk.
Everybody's drunk!

735
00:56:24,179 --> 00:56:25,510
Hi, Daddy.

736
00:56:25,680 --> 00:56:27,307
Hey, Mama.

737
00:56:31,986 --> 00:56:34,454
Damn, that's nasty.

738
00:56:38,827 --> 00:56:40,124
Come here.

739
00:56:41,663 --> 00:56:43,858
I'm gonna butter your bread, baby.

740
00:56:44,032 --> 00:56:46,762
Nice and toasty, please.

741
00:57:19,534 --> 00:57:23,698
-You wanna get out of here?
-Looking for a little slap and tickle?

742
00:57:23,938 --> 00:57:24,962
Something like that.

743
00:57:30,445 --> 00:57:32,675
I think I dropped my monkey.

744
00:57:37,519 --> 00:57:41,216
How many licks does it take
to get to the center.

745
00:57:42,023 --> 00:57:45,151
I'm gonna rock your world.

746
00:57:45,360 --> 00:57:47,453
I am going to break your dick off.

747
00:57:48,196 --> 00:57:50,061
Suck them.

748
00:57:50,431 --> 00:57:52,399
Lick them clean, Daddy.

749
00:57:52,567 --> 00:57:53,829
Suck them. Suck them.

750
00:57:54,002 --> 00:57:55,936
Lick them clean. Yes!

751
00:57:56,104 --> 00:57:57,628
Suck them! Suck them!

752
00:57:58,339 --> 00:58:00,136
Now, don't peek.

753
00:58:02,210 --> 00:58:03,199
Quit squirming!

754
00:58:08,917 --> 00:58:10,851
Oh, Daddy.

755
00:58:11,019 --> 00:58:14,819
Oh, you dirty motherfucker, right there.

756
00:58:25,797 --> 00:58:26,991
Come on.

757
00:58:27,165 --> 00:58:29,827
I knew it the whole time.

758
00:58:47,118 --> 00:58:49,018
I'm better than you!

759
00:59:04,368 --> 00:59:06,165
Somebody had the pig snouts over here?

760
00:59:06,337 --> 00:59:08,498
Who ordered the pig snouts?

761
00:59:28,359 --> 00:59:29,690
Gentlemen...

762
00:59:30,027 --> 00:59:33,622
...it appears it is time to initiate
Operation Recipe Retrieve.

763
00:59:39,237 --> 00:59:40,864
Is that the title we all agreed on?

764
00:59:41,038 --> 00:59:44,235
I kind of like Operation Stein Grab.

765
00:59:44,408 --> 00:59:46,273
Or what about Brauheist 2006?

766
00:59:46,444 --> 00:59:48,469
-Oh, that's a good one.
-It's kind of spunky.

767
00:59:48,646 --> 00:59:50,944
<i>-Ja, it's fun.
-One second.</i>

768
00:59:51,115 --> 00:59:55,711
<i>-What if it takes longer than a year?
-Ja, I was hoping to be done by 2007.</i>

769
00:59:55,887 --> 00:59:57,718
That's true. I have big plans for 2007.

770
00:59:57,889 --> 01:00:01,882
<i>Ja, we should take a vote, because
I never liked Recipe Retrieve either.</i>

771
01:00:03,161 --> 01:00:04,253
This is not a democracy.

772
01:00:05,196 --> 01:00:07,528
We always waste so much time
arguing about names.

773
01:00:07,698 --> 01:00:09,131
I'm sick of it.

774
01:00:09,300 --> 01:00:12,736
I came up with Operation Recipe Retrieve,
and that's the name!

775
01:00:12,904 --> 01:00:15,634
-Okay, fine.
-I like it now.

776
01:00:17,175 --> 01:00:18,938
I'm sorry.

777
01:00:19,544 --> 01:00:22,638
It's just that I start to feel
so cooped up in these U-boats.

778
01:00:22,813 --> 01:00:24,280
I had a bad experience once.

779
01:00:26,117 --> 01:00:27,345
Thank you.

780
01:00:27,885 --> 01:00:30,479
Now, let's go get what belongs to us.

781
01:00:32,323 --> 01:00:33,585
Battle stations.

782
01:00:38,696 --> 01:00:41,665
<i>Landfill! Landfill! Landfill!</i>

783
01:00:41,832 --> 01:00:44,096
Watch out. Okay, here comes
the bubble. Get ready.

784
01:00:46,971 --> 01:00:48,802
Damn it! It's the bubble!

785
01:00:48,973 --> 01:00:51,237
I know. No, it's a bitch.
Don't worry. Come on.

786
01:00:51,409 --> 01:00:53,001
You're getting better. Next time.

787
01:00:53,177 --> 01:00:54,166
-Hey, guys.
-Hey, Krista.

788
01:00:54,345 --> 01:00:56,336
-Can I try that?
-Honey, we're practicing.

789
01:00:56,514 --> 01:00:58,709
-Hey, fill her up, okay?
-Practicing for what?

790
01:01:00,551 --> 01:01:01,745
-Nothing.
-No, seriously.

791
01:01:01,919 --> 01:01:04,513
You said you were practicing.
Practicing for what?

792
01:01:07,391 --> 01:01:11,157
Hey, honey, let's go take a look
at the glockenspiels.

793
01:01:11,329 --> 01:01:14,389
No, I don't wanna look
at the goddamn glockenspiels.

794
01:01:14,565 --> 01:01:16,795
-They're really shiny. Come on.
-I don't wanna.

795
01:01:18,336 --> 01:01:21,237
Well, hello, Dirty Harrys!

796
01:01:21,405 --> 01:01:23,134
Holy cameltoe.

797
01:01:23,307 --> 01:01:24,899
<i>Ja, the last time we saw you...</i>

798
01:01:25,076 --> 01:01:28,443
...you were wearing
your grandfather's ashes as a hat.

799
01:01:29,146 --> 01:01:31,341
You have one minute
to march out that door.

800
01:01:31,515 --> 01:01:33,210
We have come for our recipe.

801
01:01:33,384 --> 01:01:34,646
That's our recipe.

802
01:01:34,819 --> 01:01:36,548
We figured you would say that.

803
01:01:38,122 --> 01:01:42,525
Despite your thievery, we are prepared
to buy it from you, right now...

804
01:01:42,727 --> 01:01:44,092
...in cash.

805
01:01:44,262 --> 01:01:47,231
Big deal.
A suitcase full of Monopoly money?

806
01:01:47,398 --> 01:01:48,797
Come on, those are euros.

807
01:01:48,966 --> 01:01:52,129
What's that, like pesos?
Yeah! Come on.

808
01:01:52,303 --> 01:01:54,032
That is legal European tender.

809
01:01:54,205 --> 01:01:56,105
We should have brought deutsche marks!

810
01:01:56,274 --> 01:01:58,333
-But they are so hard to find!
-They're not!

811
01:01:58,509 --> 01:02:00,477
No, there's five ATMs.

812
01:02:00,645 --> 01:02:03,113
No, there's a Quickie Mart
right around the corner.

813
01:02:08,085 --> 01:02:09,109
Enough!

814
01:02:12,757 --> 01:02:16,955
Here is 500,000 American dollars.

815
01:02:17,128 --> 01:02:18,425
It's not for sale.

816
01:02:20,364 --> 01:02:24,198
Well, why don't we make it interesting?

817
01:02:24,368 --> 01:02:27,531
You seem like sporting fellows, no?

818
01:02:34,512 --> 01:02:37,276
I am so sorry. I'm really sorry.

819
01:02:37,448 --> 01:02:39,473
How about a match?

820
01:02:39,650 --> 01:02:43,416
<i>You win, you keep the recipe
und the money.</i>

821
01:02:43,954 --> 01:02:45,478
We win...

822
01:02:45,656 --> 01:02:47,749
-...the recipe is ours.
-Give me that thing.

823
01:02:48,993 --> 01:02:51,826
All right, Barry. It's showtime.

824
01:02:51,996 --> 01:02:56,228
Yeah, there's something
I haven't quite told you yet.

825
01:02:56,400 --> 01:02:57,765
I don't play Pong anymore.

826
01:02:58,069 --> 01:03:02,005
What are you talking about, man?
You're the best. Here, let's go.

827
01:03:05,176 --> 01:03:08,168
-Come on. Let's go kick their ass.
-I don't fucking play Pong!

828
01:03:08,346 --> 01:03:10,041
Jesus, calm down.

829
01:03:10,214 --> 01:03:12,614
Pull it together.
You're acting a little crazy here.

830
01:03:12,783 --> 01:03:16,719
Your wife didn't think I was crazy when
I double-teamed her with "Silo" Johnson.

831
01:03:16,921 --> 01:03:18,411
-The double-team.
-The double-team.

832
01:03:18,589 --> 01:03:21,524
Yeah, that's right.
Never knew it was a three-way, did you?

833
01:03:21,692 --> 01:03:24,217
-With the Silo?
-Yeah.

834
01:03:24,428 --> 01:03:25,759
Let me tell you something:

835
01:03:25,930 --> 01:03:28,490
-He wasn't storing corn in that thing.
-Son of a bitch!

836
01:03:30,267 --> 01:03:32,531
Fuck it! I quit.

837
01:03:32,703 --> 01:03:34,762
What? Barry!

838
01:03:37,975 --> 01:03:39,306
The fuck is that?

839
01:03:40,144 --> 01:03:41,304
Are we playing or not?

840
01:03:41,479 --> 01:03:43,504
<i>Time to scheiße or get off the crapper.</i>

841
01:03:43,681 --> 01:03:46,514
Get bent, umlaut. We're gonna sell
the shit out of this beer.

842
01:03:46,684 --> 01:03:51,018
You are making a big mistake, cowboy.

843
01:03:51,222 --> 01:03:54,885
Don't think you have seen the last of us.

844
01:04:00,798 --> 01:04:01,856
Oh, I forgot the money.

845
01:04:06,604 --> 01:04:08,834
You should get a pinball machine
that works.

846
01:04:09,006 --> 01:04:10,371
That machine works just fine.

847
01:04:10,541 --> 01:04:12,304
Does it?

848
01:04:26,557 --> 01:04:28,354
Folks, I'm sorry. Finish your meals.

849
01:04:28,526 --> 01:04:31,222
Enjoy. Let's-- Come on,
let's have some polka, all right?

850
01:04:36,267 --> 01:04:39,498
-Fuck.
-Hey.

851
01:04:41,972 --> 01:04:46,568
-You know we should have played them.
-I wasn't about to give them that recipe.

852
01:04:47,244 --> 01:04:49,769
-What do you wanna do about Barry?
-We don't need him.

853
01:04:49,947 --> 01:04:51,505
We can get someone else.

854
01:04:52,683 --> 01:04:54,310
What's that?

855
01:04:55,186 --> 01:04:56,744
<i>Local family restaurant...</i>

856
01:04:56,921 --> 01:05:00,118
<i>-That's us.
-...or disease-infested rat hole?</i>

857
01:05:00,291 --> 01:05:04,625
<i>Exposé Colorado has this exclusive
interview with former kitchen workers...</i>

858
01:05:04,795 --> 01:05:08,196
<i>...who will tell a story that will curdle
your strudel.</i>

859
01:05:08,365 --> 01:05:09,457
What the fuck?

860
01:05:09,633 --> 01:05:14,900
<i>We were undocumented aliens smuggled off
in a cargo container to work in the kitchen.</i>

861
01:05:15,072 --> 01:05:17,006
You gotta be kidding me.

862
01:05:17,174 --> 01:05:20,337
<i>It's very common for German restaurants
to use immigrant labor.</i>

863
01:05:20,511 --> 01:05:21,910
<i>It's true, Sandy.</i>

864
01:05:22,079 --> 01:05:23,706
<i>Tell us about the work conditions.</i>

865
01:05:23,881 --> 01:05:26,645
<i>The biggest surprise,
other than the oppressive hours...</i>

866
01:05:26,817 --> 01:05:28,409
<i>...was the unsanitary conditions.</i>

867
01:05:28,586 --> 01:05:31,453
<i>Yeah. Last month my finger was cut off
with the cake mixer.</i>

868
01:05:31,622 --> 01:05:34,557
<i>When my finger fell into the cake batter,
they didn't even stop.</i>

869
01:05:34,725 --> 01:05:37,285
<i>-They just kept making the cupcakes.
-Dear Lord.</i>

870
01:05:37,461 --> 01:05:41,557
<i>And the rats-- Just yesterday I opened up
a bottle of Schnitzelgeigerbräu...</i>

871
01:05:41,732 --> 01:05:45,395
<i>...and guess what I found?
A rat fetus inside.</i>

872
01:05:46,403 --> 01:05:48,166
<i>-It's true, Sandy.
-Rat fetus?</i>

873
01:05:48,339 --> 01:05:50,239
<i>-Oh, my God.
-Goddamn it!</i>

874
01:05:50,407 --> 01:05:52,272
Now we really gotta kick
those guys' asses.

875
01:05:52,443 --> 01:05:54,172
Absolutely.

876
01:05:54,345 --> 01:05:56,040
Schnitzengiggle Tavern.

877
01:05:56,514 --> 01:05:58,914
No, no. It was totally false.
It was a joke.

878
01:06:01,085 --> 01:06:02,882
Yeah, I understand.

879
01:06:04,455 --> 01:06:06,548
Canceled reservation.

880
01:06:07,525 --> 01:06:09,083
Schnitzengiggle.

881
01:06:09,693 --> 01:06:11,957
No, no, no. No rats. No rats at all.

882
01:06:12,129 --> 01:06:14,290
We've been rat-free since 1976.

883
01:06:16,367 --> 01:06:17,766
I promise--

884
01:06:18,802 --> 01:06:20,326
All right, no problem.

885
01:06:20,504 --> 01:06:21,801
-Another one?
-Yeah.

886
01:06:22,973 --> 01:06:24,440
Schnitzengiggle.

887
01:06:25,509 --> 01:06:27,807
No, I'm very happy
with my long-distance service.

888
01:06:29,113 --> 01:06:31,581
Yes. This is a really bad time. Thanks.

889
01:06:31,749 --> 01:06:34,217
God. Solicitors.

890
01:06:35,052 --> 01:06:36,883
Take this one.

891
01:06:38,188 --> 01:06:40,122
Schnitzengiggle Tavern.

892
01:06:40,724 --> 01:06:43,090
-It's the health board.
-Hang up. Hang up.

893
01:06:44,061 --> 01:06:46,586
-Give me this.
-Put that in the cooler.

894
01:06:51,702 --> 01:06:52,999
Guys...

895
01:06:53,170 --> 01:06:55,297
...l'm really sorry...

896
01:06:55,472 --> 01:06:58,236
-...but I gotta quit the team.
-What are you talking about?

897
01:06:58,409 --> 01:07:01,071
I got fired from the lab
due to slipping performance.

898
01:07:01,245 --> 01:07:03,770
So a couple of frogs didn't get
their around-the-world.

899
01:07:03,948 --> 01:07:05,609
No, you don't understand.

900
01:07:05,783 --> 01:07:07,978
I don't know how it happened,
but somehow...

901
01:07:08,152 --> 01:07:11,417
...I cloned a batch of monkey-frogs.

902
01:07:11,589 --> 01:07:13,921
Don't they hand out
Nobel Prizes for that?

903
01:07:14,091 --> 01:07:15,251
Let me see that.

904
01:07:15,593 --> 01:07:17,527
Let me see you little....

905
01:07:17,695 --> 01:07:20,129
-Oh, my God.
-Oh, my God!

906
01:07:20,297 --> 01:07:21,628
What have you done?

907
01:07:26,437 --> 01:07:27,426
Landfill?

908
01:07:34,278 --> 01:07:35,540
What's wrong?

909
01:07:35,713 --> 01:07:39,911
Krista said she couldn't handle
all the lies and the drinking anymore.

910
01:07:40,084 --> 01:07:41,642
She took the kids and left.

911
01:07:41,819 --> 01:07:43,309
Oh, my God.

912
01:07:43,487 --> 01:07:45,114
You've got kids?

913
01:07:48,592 --> 01:07:51,220
It's okay. It's okay. I'm okay.

914
01:07:51,395 --> 01:07:53,693
I just need some time.

915
01:07:53,931 --> 01:07:56,456
-Maybe a beer.
-Get him a beer.

916
01:07:57,868 --> 01:07:59,495
Thank you.

917
01:08:04,408 --> 01:08:05,739
Did you know he had kids?

918
01:08:37,508 --> 01:08:40,477
Schwarzemaiden to Iron Eagle.
Come in, Iron Eagle.

919
01:08:40,644 --> 01:08:42,202
Iron Eagle, are you there?

920
01:08:42,379 --> 01:08:44,370
Mission accomplished.

921
01:08:44,815 --> 01:08:47,682
Mission accomplished. I got it.

922
01:08:47,851 --> 01:08:49,910
I got it.

923
01:08:53,957 --> 01:08:55,424
Cherry?

924
01:08:56,827 --> 01:08:58,920
Hey. Okay, now.

925
01:08:59,363 --> 01:09:02,093
-Don't be rash, Phillip.
-How did they get to you?

926
01:09:02,266 --> 01:09:06,498
I was in the employ of the von Wolfhausen
family long before I came to this stinkhole.

927
01:09:06,670 --> 01:09:09,434
And now that I have
your precious beer recipe, I can go.

928
01:09:09,606 --> 01:09:12,905
Well, you're gonna have to
get through me first.

929
01:09:23,087 --> 01:09:24,076
What?

930
01:09:57,755 --> 01:09:59,347
Yeah, girlfriend!

931
01:10:02,760 --> 01:10:03,784
Come on!

932
01:10:08,732 --> 01:10:10,996
Yeah!

933
01:10:24,681 --> 01:10:28,777
Feel that pulling you down?
That's the yeast, baby.

934
01:10:30,287 --> 01:10:31,879
It's like quicksand.

935
01:10:32,055 --> 01:10:34,148
Say goodbye.

936
01:11:08,759 --> 01:11:10,454
Love you.

937
01:11:12,396 --> 01:11:14,489
Hey, Landfill, where are you, buddy?

938
01:11:14,665 --> 01:11:16,758
Why don't we have a beer
and talk about it?

939
01:11:16,934 --> 01:11:18,367
Lan--

940
01:11:25,509 --> 01:11:27,602
No!

941
01:11:47,564 --> 01:11:51,000
That's it. We're packing it in.

942
01:11:51,168 --> 01:11:52,692
What, the team?

943
01:11:52,870 --> 01:11:55,304
The team, the beer, the restaurant.
All of it.

944
01:11:55,472 --> 01:12:00,102
-What? No, you're crazy--
-Jan. Let it go.

945
01:12:00,410 --> 01:12:02,571
Our friend is dead.

946
01:12:03,313 --> 01:12:05,178
It's over.

947
01:12:47,891 --> 01:12:51,486
Landfill could eat a ton.

948
01:12:52,696 --> 01:12:56,689
But he could also love a ton.

949
01:12:59,569 --> 01:13:03,505
He had this habit
of swallowing his food whole.

950
01:13:04,274 --> 01:13:06,435
I called him "The Tiger Shark."

951
01:13:06,610 --> 01:13:09,909
I used to joke
that if you cut open his belly...

952
01:13:10,080 --> 01:13:14,813
...you would find a license plate
and a tire and half of an 8-year-old boy.

953
01:13:16,653 --> 01:13:20,817
One time, he farted an entire plum.

954
01:13:25,829 --> 01:13:28,627
I was plumb surprised.

955
01:13:30,133 --> 01:13:33,500
I always told him
to try to chew his food better...

956
01:13:33,971 --> 01:13:36,337
...but he never listened to me.

957
01:13:38,008 --> 01:13:40,340
But that was Landfill.

958
01:13:40,510 --> 01:13:42,375
He was a fat asshole.

959
01:13:45,449 --> 01:13:47,144
But...

960
01:13:49,486 --> 01:13:52,512
...he was my fat asshole.

961
01:14:27,391 --> 01:14:30,519
-Hello.
-Hey, Laurie. How are you?

962
01:14:30,694 --> 01:14:33,356
-God, you're looking good.
-Thanks, Barry.

963
01:14:33,530 --> 01:14:36,465
Wow, what have you been up to?

964
01:14:37,467 --> 01:14:38,957
Me, l--

965
01:14:39,336 --> 01:14:44,364
-Working on bridges. Under bridges.
-Like an architect?

966
01:14:44,541 --> 01:14:46,338
Yeah. Yeah.

967
01:14:46,943 --> 01:14:51,573
-Still in contact with the Silo?
-The Silo.

968
01:14:56,586 --> 01:14:59,020
I'll talk to you later. Bye.

969
01:15:00,057 --> 01:15:01,285
Sorry. Hi.

970
01:15:01,892 --> 01:15:03,519
Good to see you.

971
01:15:04,528 --> 01:15:07,292
-Krista, I'm so sorry.
-Thank you. Thank you for coming.

972
01:15:07,464 --> 01:15:08,863
I appreciate it. Thank you.

973
01:15:09,032 --> 01:15:13,935
-Krista, I can't begin to tell you how sorry--
-You should be ashamed of yourself.

974
01:15:20,143 --> 01:15:21,474
Oh, my God.

975
01:15:22,879 --> 01:15:24,244
Oh, my God!

976
01:15:51,775 --> 01:15:54,335
Great Gam Gam.
What are you doing here?

977
01:15:54,511 --> 01:15:57,912
I too came to pay my respects
to a good man.

978
01:15:58,315 --> 01:16:02,877
But unlike you, I am not weeping.

979
01:16:03,053 --> 01:16:06,454
We're not weeping. We're mourning.
Our friend just committed suicide.

980
01:16:06,623 --> 01:16:08,921
-When were you going to tell me?
-Tell you what?

981
01:16:09,092 --> 01:16:11,526
That you are not competing in Beerfest.

982
01:16:13,130 --> 01:16:15,792
-How did you know about that?
-One death.

983
01:16:18,869 --> 01:16:21,770
-We should see if they got crab cakes left.
-Oh, great idea.

984
01:16:21,938 --> 01:16:23,371
Stay put, you.

985
01:16:24,474 --> 01:16:26,999
I want you all to hear the true story...

986
01:16:27,177 --> 01:16:30,476
...of the Baron Ludwig von Wolfhausen,
who fell in love...

987
01:16:30,647 --> 01:16:36,586
...with a beautiful young Bavarian whore.

988
01:16:36,753 --> 01:16:38,914
So you really were a whore?

989
01:16:39,089 --> 01:16:40,579
What do you think this is?

990
01:16:40,757 --> 01:16:43,419
You said you got kicked
in the face by a Clydesdale.

991
01:16:43,593 --> 01:16:45,458
This is the mark of the whore.

992
01:16:48,999 --> 01:16:52,560
<i>It was a simple time, a beautiful time.</i>

993
01:16:53,036 --> 01:16:57,905
<i>You see, the Baron Ludwig
and I were in love.</i>

994
01:17:02,846 --> 01:17:06,577
But we had to keep our love secret...

995
01:17:06,750 --> 01:17:10,811
...because he was married
to a young baroness.

996
01:17:10,987 --> 01:17:14,081
<i>We also had to keep
your grandfather's birth a secret...</i>

997
01:17:14,257 --> 01:17:17,249
<i>...because he was
the baron's first-born son.</i>

998
01:17:17,427 --> 01:17:19,987
<i>Wait, Grandpa was the first-born?</i>

999
01:17:20,163 --> 01:17:21,528
<i>Yes.</i>

1000
01:17:21,698 --> 01:17:24,531
<i>But the baroness found out about it,
me and my young Johan...</i>

1001
01:17:24,701 --> 01:17:28,637
<i>...and had us tarred and feathered
and run out of town.</i>

1002
01:17:30,106 --> 01:17:33,507
You two are the rightful heirs
to the von Wolfhausen brewery.

1003
01:17:33,677 --> 01:17:37,010
You should have the balls
to take back what is yours.

1004
01:17:37,214 --> 01:17:38,772
Wow, you even talk like a whore.

1005
01:17:39,616 --> 01:17:43,848
We are all whores in some way,
Mr. Finkelstein.

1006
01:17:44,754 --> 01:17:45,846
She's right.

1007
01:17:46,022 --> 01:17:49,549
<i>You boys are a team, und a good one.</i>

1008
01:17:50,060 --> 01:17:54,759
If you can't do it for your grandfather
or your country or your dead friend...

1009
01:17:55,031 --> 01:17:57,329
...do it for yourselves.

1010
01:17:58,001 --> 01:17:59,662
-I'm in.
-Me too.

1011
01:17:59,836 --> 01:18:01,701
-Hell, yeah! I'm in.
-Yeah!

1012
01:18:01,871 --> 01:18:04,704
-Yeah!
-I can't do it.

1013
01:18:06,476 --> 01:18:08,774
I can't play Pong.

1014
01:18:10,847 --> 01:18:13,475
It happened a couple years after college.

1015
01:18:14,484 --> 01:18:18,011
I was in Thailand,
playing Ping-Pong in Ding Dang.

1016
01:18:19,990 --> 01:18:23,221
I was in a real high-stakes game
in some opium den.

1017
01:18:24,027 --> 01:18:27,554
Turned out the guys I was playing
aren't the kind of guys who like to lose.

1018
01:18:28,431 --> 01:18:30,399
After I beat them...

1019
01:18:30,834 --> 01:18:32,768
...they beat me.

1020
01:18:34,371 --> 01:18:36,805
Worked me over pretty good.

1021
01:18:38,375 --> 01:18:41,503
And this is hard to say...

1022
01:18:42,946 --> 01:18:45,039
...but they held me down...

1023
01:18:46,983 --> 01:18:49,281
...and they shoved
a Ping-Pong paddle up my ass.

1024
01:18:53,790 --> 01:18:56,054
It's never been the same.

1025
01:18:57,394 --> 01:18:59,225
I'm damaged goods.

1026
01:18:59,396 --> 01:19:00,727
Gosh, Barry, I'm so sorry.

1027
01:19:00,897 --> 01:19:04,424
I don't know what I would do if somebody
shoved a paddle handle up my ass.

1028
01:19:06,136 --> 01:19:07,433
Wasn't the handle.

1029
01:19:10,874 --> 01:19:12,967
I've been shitting pancakes ever since.

1030
01:19:15,445 --> 01:19:17,538
Mr. Badrinath...

1031
01:19:17,981 --> 01:19:21,041
...we are not so different, you and I.

1032
01:19:22,752 --> 01:19:25,152
I've had all kinds of things
shoved up my ass.

1033
01:19:27,457 --> 01:19:29,755
I got over it.

1034
01:19:30,060 --> 01:19:32,585
You will too.

1035
01:19:37,200 --> 01:19:39,668
You will too.

1036
01:19:49,579 --> 01:19:51,638
-So much to digest in there.
-Yeah.

1037
01:19:51,815 --> 01:19:53,248
Calgon, take me away.

1038
01:19:55,485 --> 01:19:57,612
You guys are my family.

1039
01:19:57,987 --> 01:19:59,284
Without you, I got nothing.

1040
01:20:03,593 --> 01:20:04,924
Let's do this for Landfill...

1041
01:20:05,695 --> 01:20:07,390
...and for Johan...

1042
01:20:07,564 --> 01:20:09,395
...and for Great Gam Gam.

1043
01:20:17,273 --> 01:20:18,501
One question.

1044
01:20:18,675 --> 01:20:20,973
Who we gonna get to replace Landfill?

1045
01:20:22,612 --> 01:20:25,740
Now, this is the party
I was hoping to find.

1046
01:20:26,683 --> 01:20:29,652
Landfill? You're alive?

1047
01:20:31,321 --> 01:20:34,620
No, I'm not Landfill.

1048
01:20:34,958 --> 01:20:38,325
I'm Landfill's twin brother, Gil.

1049
01:20:38,495 --> 01:20:39,723
-Gil?
-Gil?

1050
01:20:39,896 --> 01:20:43,332
I taught Landfill
everything he knew about drinking beer.

1051
01:20:43,500 --> 01:20:46,492
I wanna fulfill his legacy
by taking his place on your team.

1052
01:20:48,171 --> 01:20:50,731
-You must be Fink.
-How'd you know?

1053
01:20:50,907 --> 01:20:52,704
Landfill told me everything about you.

1054
01:20:52,876 --> 01:20:54,707
I feel like I know all you guys.

1055
01:20:54,878 --> 01:20:57,608
So we won't have that awkward
get-to-know-each-other stage.

1056
01:20:57,781 --> 01:21:00,306
-Perfect.
-And if I could just ask one favor.

1057
01:21:00,483 --> 01:21:03,850
-Name it.
-lf it wouldn't be too uncomfortable...

1058
01:21:04,020 --> 01:21:08,354
...I was hoping maybe you guys
could call me Landfill, in honor of him.

1059
01:21:08,525 --> 01:21:10,152
-Yeah, sure, sure.
-Sure.

1060
01:21:10,326 --> 01:21:12,055
It'd be like we never lost Landfill.

1061
01:21:13,196 --> 01:21:14,788
Landfill...

1062
01:21:14,964 --> 01:21:18,024
...it would be an honor
if you would join us.

1063
01:21:23,506 --> 01:21:25,235
Cheers.

1064
01:21:27,243 --> 01:21:29,302
Oh, my God, he's faster than Landfill.

1065
01:21:44,661 --> 01:21:46,720
Oh, my God, what is that, bratwurst?

1066
01:21:47,397 --> 01:21:51,060
-He even smells like Landfill.
-God, someone open a window, fast.

1067
01:21:51,468 --> 01:21:52,730
Wait!

1068
01:21:52,902 --> 01:21:57,430
-I wanna bask in it.
-Yeah, yeah. Just let it be.

1069
01:21:58,575 --> 01:22:01,066
Welcome back, Landfill.

1070
01:22:02,712 --> 01:22:05,374
Hey, let's go get sour on some Krauts.

1071
01:22:05,548 --> 01:22:06,810
Yeah!

1072
01:22:06,983 --> 01:22:09,543
-Yeah!
-Come on!

1073
01:22:09,719 --> 01:22:11,778
Yeah!

1074
01:22:58,501 --> 01:23:02,062
Landfill Two,
you are twice the man Landfill One was.

1075
01:23:02,238 --> 01:23:04,433
Well, thank you, little lady.

1076
01:23:05,375 --> 01:23:06,672
Yeah!

1077
01:23:34,404 --> 01:23:35,701
Are we lost?

1078
01:23:36,873 --> 01:23:40,274
The thing about it is, you know,
we were shit-faced when he took us there.

1079
01:23:40,443 --> 01:23:42,377
-What?
-Really drunk.

1080
01:23:42,545 --> 01:23:45,776
We been training for an entire year,
lost our jobs and our family...

1081
01:23:45,949 --> 01:23:48,918
-...and you don't know where this is?
-You haven't been training.

1082
01:23:49,085 --> 01:23:51,553
-Can it, college boy!
-"College boy"? I thought you--

1083
01:23:51,721 --> 01:23:56,215
-Hey, guys. Please, give it a rest.
-You know what? I got an idea.

1084
01:23:56,392 --> 01:23:58,451
It might work. I did this study in college:

1085
01:23:58,628 --> 01:24:01,688
Finkelstein's Theory on Effects of Alcohol
on the Temporal Lobes.

1086
01:24:01,864 --> 01:24:03,695
-English.
-Drunken recall.

1087
01:24:03,866 --> 01:24:08,064
I made people drink massive quantities, then
taught things while they were blacked out.

1088
01:24:08,237 --> 01:24:10,637
Now, in the morning,
they had no recollection of it.

1089
01:24:10,807 --> 01:24:13,332
But when I got them drunk again,
they remembered.

1090
01:24:14,510 --> 01:24:16,273
-Bullshit.
-Now you're coming after me?

1091
01:24:16,446 --> 01:24:19,210
Cowboy on one side,
Indian on the other. It's the Wild West.

1092
01:24:19,716 --> 01:24:21,149
-I got it published.
-Where?

1093
01:24:21,317 --> 01:24:25,344
<i>Maxim magazine, under the title
"E Equals MC Hammered."</i>

1094
01:24:25,755 --> 01:24:28,747
-All right, let's do this.
-Which one of you two was more wasted?

1095
01:24:28,925 --> 01:24:30,825
-He was.
-He was.

1096
01:24:30,994 --> 01:24:34,088
All right, okay, I was.
I actually hadn't eaten much that day.

1097
01:24:42,105 --> 01:24:43,163
Anything?

1098
01:24:43,339 --> 01:24:46,274
Sorry. But I have been training
for a beer-drinking competition.

1099
01:24:48,645 --> 01:24:50,340
Drink.

1100
01:24:59,389 --> 01:25:02,552
-Sober as a bird.
-All right. Enough fucking around.

1101
01:25:04,160 --> 01:25:06,094
Here. Try this.

1102
01:25:37,694 --> 01:25:39,423
The password!

1103
01:25:50,540 --> 01:25:54,271
-That was great.
-That was last year's password!

1104
01:25:54,444 --> 01:25:55,433
Oh, come on.

1105
01:25:55,611 --> 01:25:57,977
-That's cheap.
-Shit.

1106
01:25:59,882 --> 01:26:01,907
I got an idea.

1107
01:26:05,388 --> 01:26:06,878
The pa--!

1108
01:26:50,066 --> 01:26:51,226
Silence.

1109
01:26:54,937 --> 01:26:57,497
The old Trojan keg.

1110
01:26:58,007 --> 01:26:59,907
Very clever for Americans.

1111
01:27:00,243 --> 01:27:03,269
-Now get them out of here.
-Hang on, hang on, hang on.

1112
01:27:04,680 --> 01:27:07,877
We're here to honor our grandfather,
Johan von Wolfhausen.

1113
01:27:08,050 --> 01:27:10,177
The stableboy thief?

1114
01:27:10,353 --> 01:27:12,082
No. Your half-brother.

1115
01:27:12,455 --> 01:27:16,892
Your older half-brother and rightful heir
to the von Wolfhausen brewery.

1116
01:27:17,059 --> 01:27:18,390
Oh, please.

1117
01:27:18,561 --> 01:27:20,529
Johan wasn't even Ludwig's
true offspring.

1118
01:27:20,696 --> 01:27:22,857
No?

1119
01:27:25,668 --> 01:27:27,067
Look at the portrait.

1120
01:27:28,437 --> 01:27:30,769
Not a true offspring?

1121
01:27:30,940 --> 01:27:32,931
I'd say it looks pretty close to me, eh?

1122
01:27:33,109 --> 01:27:35,441
You know the von Wolfhausen brewery
is our brewery.

1123
01:27:35,611 --> 01:27:40,548
Even if your silly fairy tale was true,
we have a little saying in München.

1124
01:27:40,716 --> 01:27:42,707
Get the fuck out of here.

1125
01:27:42,885 --> 01:27:45,012
-Guards.
-Wait, wait!

1126
01:27:45,621 --> 01:27:47,088
We came here to drink some beer.

1127
01:27:47,523 --> 01:27:51,152
Are you gonna let us do that, or are you
afraid of getting your asses stomped?

1128
01:27:51,994 --> 01:27:53,461
Let them drink!

1129
01:27:53,629 --> 01:27:55,995
Yeah! Let them compete!

1130
01:27:56,165 --> 01:27:57,757
<i>Let them drink!</i>

1131
01:27:57,934 --> 01:27:59,094
<i>Let them drink!</i>

1132
01:27:59,268 --> 01:28:00,496
<i>Let them drink!</i>

1133
01:28:00,670 --> 01:28:01,762
<i>Let them drink!</i>

1134
01:28:01,938 --> 01:28:04,133
Grandpapa, we've crushed them once.

1135
01:28:04,307 --> 01:28:05,740
Let us do it again, huh?

1136
01:28:05,908 --> 01:28:08,172
Let us humiliate them.

1137
01:28:08,344 --> 01:28:09,777
Please, Opy, we can do this.

1138
01:28:09,946 --> 01:28:11,743
-We can do it.
-Yeah.

1139
01:28:11,914 --> 01:28:13,506
Okay.

1140
01:28:13,683 --> 01:28:15,150
Why not? For shits and giggle.

1141
01:28:15,318 --> 01:28:16,410
Let them drink!

1142
01:29:05,968 --> 01:29:07,299
Beer drinkers...

1143
01:29:07,970 --> 01:29:09,267
...welcome to Beerfest.

1144
01:29:11,340 --> 01:29:13,968
-Yeah!
-Come on!

1145
01:29:14,377 --> 01:29:16,641
You are the privileged few.

1146
01:29:17,546 --> 01:29:19,241
We got the Brits in Round One.

1147
01:29:20,583 --> 01:29:23,051
We already kicked their asses in WWll.

1148
01:29:23,219 --> 01:29:25,210
Cheerio, let's do it again.

1149
01:29:25,388 --> 01:29:28,050
Drink well. Drink with honor.

1150
01:29:28,224 --> 01:29:29,851
Let the games begin.

1151
01:29:32,662 --> 01:29:37,497
<i>Beerfest! Beerfest! Beerfest!</i>

1152
01:29:38,000 --> 01:29:41,401
First round is best of five.

1153
01:29:41,570 --> 01:29:45,563
U.S.A. versus England.

1154
01:29:45,741 --> 01:29:48,710
You're all fur coat
and no trousers, you are.

1155
01:29:48,878 --> 01:29:51,039
-I'm sorry. One more time?
-Shove off!

1156
01:29:51,213 --> 01:29:55,172
We're gonna put the skitters
in your Alan Whickers, you plonker!

1157
01:29:55,651 --> 01:29:59,917
-Do you know what he's saying?
-Volume Chug!

1158
01:30:01,357 --> 01:30:04,383
Come on, big boy.
What, are you gonna fucking cry?

1159
01:30:04,560 --> 01:30:07,188
That's all you, Landfill. All you.

1160
01:30:07,930 --> 01:30:09,488
Come on!

1161
01:30:12,435 --> 01:30:15,666
Come on, motherfucker! It's time!

1162
01:30:15,838 --> 01:30:20,002
Come on, baby. It's all you, buddy.
Drink it down.

1163
01:31:44,493 --> 01:31:48,520
How about this? How about that?
How about:

1164
01:31:48,697 --> 01:31:52,497
Now, how do I say this? The Mexican.

1165
01:32:46,355 --> 01:32:50,815
Championship round,
Germany versus U.S.A.

1166
01:33:01,036 --> 01:33:04,028
All right. This is what we came for,
the Germans!

1167
01:33:04,206 --> 01:33:06,504
Yeah, the Germans!

1168
01:33:09,278 --> 01:33:10,438
Oh, that's good.

1169
01:33:10,613 --> 01:33:13,081
Oh, my God.

1170
01:33:13,249 --> 01:33:15,046
Oh, my God.

1171
01:33:15,217 --> 01:33:16,377
Oh, my God!

1172
01:33:16,552 --> 01:33:17,541
What's up, Finky?

1173
01:33:17,720 --> 01:33:20,188
I got it. Beating the boot.
It's so simple.

1174
01:33:20,789 --> 01:33:25,317
It's all about fluid dynamics
and quantum bubblenautics. Follow?

1175
01:33:25,895 --> 01:33:28,955
I missed that first part
when he said something.

1176
01:33:29,131 --> 01:33:32,726
Pay attention. I'm only doing this once,
okay? Excuse me!

1177
01:33:33,869 --> 01:33:35,302
Do me a favor, top me off.

1178
01:33:36,472 --> 01:33:39,464
Thank you. Okay.

1179
01:33:39,642 --> 01:33:42,543
Now, look. The bubble is essentially
a high-pressure vacuum...

1180
01:33:42,711 --> 01:33:45,111
...that grows and grows
until it gets to the heel...

1181
01:33:45,281 --> 01:33:47,681
...then it pops and explodes
out of the boot. Okay?

1182
01:33:47,850 --> 01:33:50,478
So, what you wanna do
is create a spiral effect...

1183
01:33:50,653 --> 01:33:52,780
...by spinning the boot
and making a whirlpool.

1184
01:33:52,955 --> 01:33:55,617
When the bubble hits the corner,
gravity will take over...

1185
01:33:55,791 --> 01:33:57,452
...and shoot beer down your throats.

1186
01:33:57,626 --> 01:33:59,992
So, what you're saying is,
when the bubble comes...

1187
01:34:00,162 --> 01:34:01,527
...just turn the boot.

1188
01:34:01,697 --> 01:34:05,292
If we find ourselves in a
boot challenge, we can beat these guys.

1189
01:34:06,168 --> 01:34:08,193
Way to go, Finky.

1190
01:34:08,370 --> 01:34:11,635
All right.
Let's light this Kraut candle.

1191
01:34:11,807 --> 01:34:13,638
Yeah!

1192
01:34:15,311 --> 01:34:17,677
I'm still peeing! I'm still going!

1193
01:34:22,518 --> 01:34:25,180
<i>We're gonna wipe our schwanz on you.</i>

1194
01:34:25,354 --> 01:34:27,618
<i>Bring it on, meine bitch.</i>

1195
01:34:27,790 --> 01:34:31,089
Championship round is best of seven.

1196
01:34:31,260 --> 01:34:32,750
<i>Und jetzt...</i>

1197
01:34:32,928 --> 01:34:38,059
...for the ultimate battle!

1198
01:34:41,837 --> 01:34:45,830
<i>First up, long-distance krügerbounce.</i>

1199
01:34:46,008 --> 01:34:49,967
Distance, 10 meters.

1200
01:34:50,913 --> 01:34:52,437
What do you say, Barr?

1201
01:34:52,615 --> 01:34:54,549
Watch and learn.

1202
01:34:59,989 --> 01:35:02,787
Shaking your butt.

1203
01:35:02,958 --> 01:35:06,359
Move the bucket 20 meters.

1204
01:35:08,330 --> 01:35:09,319
Twenty meters!

1205
01:35:09,498 --> 01:35:11,864
Twenty meters.
You're never gonna make it.

1206
01:35:12,034 --> 01:35:13,160
Oh, yeah?

1207
01:35:13,335 --> 01:35:15,496
Thirty meters.

1208
01:35:15,671 --> 01:35:17,366
Thirty meters.

1209
01:35:17,539 --> 01:35:20,064
Okay. Let's see it.

1210
01:35:27,149 --> 01:35:28,138
Yeah!

1211
01:35:40,896 --> 01:35:43,831
Germany, the winner!

1212
01:35:45,034 --> 01:35:46,262
It's okay. It's okay.

1213
01:36:01,016 --> 01:36:02,984
Yes!

1214
01:36:06,388 --> 01:36:07,480
<i>U.S.A. sucks!</i>

1215
01:36:07,790 --> 01:36:10,190
Germany, three.

1216
01:36:10,359 --> 01:36:13,328
U.S.A., zero.

1217
01:36:13,495 --> 01:36:18,728
If Germany wins, they are the champions!

1218
01:36:23,072 --> 01:36:26,132
Hold. Hold on. Wait a minute.
Hold the phones.

1219
01:36:26,308 --> 01:36:27,605
Herr Referee...

1220
01:36:27,776 --> 01:36:30,836
...there is an American player
who has not competed in any event.

1221
01:36:31,013 --> 01:36:33,880
And the rule says every competitor
must compete, otherwise...

1222
01:36:34,049 --> 01:36:35,482
...disqualification.

1223
01:36:35,651 --> 01:36:36,743
Hold on there, Hansel.

1224
01:36:36,919 --> 01:36:38,614
That is the rule.

1225
01:36:38,787 --> 01:36:41,017
Your fifth teammate must compete now.

1226
01:36:41,190 --> 01:36:43,522
Are you talking about me?

1227
01:36:49,765 --> 01:36:53,565
Jan, if we let him play, we're gonna
get slaughtered and it's over, kaput.

1228
01:36:53,736 --> 01:36:55,465
You heard the guy.

1229
01:36:55,637 --> 01:36:57,366
I'll play with him.

1230
01:37:01,243 --> 01:37:02,267
Barry, are you sure?

1231
01:37:03,045 --> 01:37:04,103
Sure as schnitzel.

1232
01:37:11,487 --> 01:37:13,546
Hey, Barr-zo, I'm proud of you.

1233
01:37:13,722 --> 01:37:15,349
Hey, thanks.

1234
01:37:15,991 --> 01:37:19,984
Hey, Comrades, how about loser
takes a paddle up the ass?

1235
01:37:21,029 --> 01:37:22,087
I like that.

1236
01:37:23,799 --> 01:37:24,857
Volley for serve.

1237
01:37:26,802 --> 01:37:29,293
You know you have to hit the ball.

1238
01:37:33,008 --> 01:37:34,873
What do you think about that, fuckhead?

1239
01:37:35,043 --> 01:37:37,534
Yeah, Barry, you got him. He's yours.

1240
01:37:43,385 --> 01:37:46,479
What do you think about that, headfuck?

1241
01:38:17,453 --> 01:38:19,011
Match point!

1242
01:38:19,188 --> 01:38:20,780
Come on, we gotta win this one.

1243
01:38:20,956 --> 01:38:23,550
You got nothing. Bring it.

1244
01:38:25,894 --> 01:38:27,555
Jiminy.

1245
01:38:29,665 --> 01:38:30,859
Come on, Barry.

1246
01:38:57,192 --> 01:38:58,420
Wow, what a shot!

1247
01:38:58,594 --> 01:39:02,030
Hey, Todd,
sorry about porking your wife, man.

1248
01:39:02,197 --> 01:39:05,462
Hey, Barry,
you can pork my wife anytime.

1249
01:39:10,405 --> 01:39:11,895
What's the name of the game?

1250
01:39:12,074 --> 01:39:13,063
Thumper!

1251
01:39:13,242 --> 01:39:14,732
And why do we play it?

1252
01:39:14,910 --> 01:39:16,241
To get fucked up!

1253
01:39:26,555 --> 01:39:28,489
No! No!

1254
01:39:28,657 --> 01:39:32,320
No, I didn't! No, I did this!
No, I didn't! No, I didn't!

1255
01:39:32,494 --> 01:39:34,394
Bullshit! I did the--

1256
01:39:34,563 --> 01:39:37,623
Look at the scoreboard! Scoreboard!

1257
01:39:49,511 --> 01:39:50,500
I'm burying you.

1258
01:39:50,679 --> 01:39:52,169
You're not even close, girlie.

1259
01:39:52,381 --> 01:39:53,575
Halt!

1260
01:39:55,784 --> 01:39:58,617
You're worried now.
You're worried now, aren't you?

1261
01:40:04,293 --> 01:40:06,989
Take that. Moment of truth.

1262
01:40:07,162 --> 01:40:10,495
Germany, 224.

1263
01:40:11,533 --> 01:40:13,023
That's good, that's good.

1264
01:40:13,201 --> 01:40:14,930
U.S.A...

1265
01:40:15,938 --> 01:40:18,805
...228.

1266
01:40:27,549 --> 01:40:30,313
All tied up. Sudden death.

1267
01:40:30,485 --> 01:40:33,283
You know what that means.

1268
01:40:33,455 --> 01:40:36,447
Das Boot!

1269
01:40:39,895 --> 01:40:41,226
<i>Das Boot! Das Boot!</i>

1270
01:40:41,396 --> 01:40:43,660
<i>Das Boot! Das Boot! Das Boot!</i>

1271
01:40:44,499 --> 01:40:46,797
Hey, guys, this is that moment.

1272
01:40:46,969 --> 01:40:49,062
The moment that only exists in sports.

1273
01:40:49,237 --> 01:40:51,637
The moment where the good guys
take on the bad guys.

1274
01:40:51,807 --> 01:40:54,139
The moment that,
if this was a speech in a movie...

1275
01:40:54,309 --> 01:40:56,436
...this would be shown
up on the humongotron...

1276
01:40:56,612 --> 01:40:59,513
...to get the home-team fans
fired up, huh? Right?

1277
01:40:59,681 --> 01:41:01,046
Us versus them!

1278
01:41:01,216 --> 01:41:03,309
We're the bad guys
and they're the good guys.

1279
01:41:03,485 --> 01:41:06,511
And I'll be damned
if we're gonna let the good guys win!

1280
01:41:06,688 --> 01:41:11,819
Yeah, we're actually the good guys
and they're the bad guys, so....

1281
01:41:11,994 --> 01:41:14,519
Right. Let me start that again,
guys, huh?

1282
01:41:14,696 --> 01:41:16,186
Hey, guys, this is that moment--

1283
01:41:16,365 --> 01:41:17,354
Fellas. Fellas.

1284
01:41:17,532 --> 01:41:20,831
I just wanna say
thanks for the greatest year of my life.

1285
01:41:21,003 --> 01:41:23,403
All right? And no matter what happens,
win or lose...

1286
01:41:23,572 --> 01:41:26,473
...drinking beer with you guys
is just plain old-fashioned fun.

1287
01:41:26,642 --> 01:41:28,303
Yeah. Yeah.

1288
01:41:28,477 --> 01:41:31,776
Hey, let's do this
for Grandpa Wolfhouse.

1289
01:41:31,947 --> 01:41:33,539
And for Landfill.

1290
01:41:33,715 --> 01:41:34,909
And Gam Gam?

1291
01:41:35,083 --> 01:41:37,916
And America. On three. One, two, three:

1292
01:41:38,086 --> 01:41:41,249
Grandpa Wolfhouse, Landfill
and Gam Gam and America!

1293
01:41:42,190 --> 01:41:43,589
Go, go, go!

1294
01:41:45,694 --> 01:41:50,393
Line Chug. Germany versus U.S.A.

1295
01:41:50,565 --> 01:41:52,795
Winner is champion...

1296
01:41:52,968 --> 01:41:57,200
...of Beerfest!

1297
01:41:57,372 --> 01:41:59,272
<i>Das Boot! Das Boot! Das Boot!</i>

1298
01:42:00,575 --> 01:42:02,736
Yeah, you can suck your own dick.

1299
01:42:04,479 --> 01:42:06,140
We're gonna take you all the way--

1300
01:42:07,983 --> 01:42:10,577
-Cherry?
-Our finest secret agent.

1301
01:42:10,752 --> 01:42:12,913
We sent her to keep an eye on you.

1302
01:42:18,293 --> 01:42:19,658
Oh, hit that, Grandpapa.

1303
01:42:19,828 --> 01:42:22,023
Take what's yours, Grandpapa.

1304
01:42:22,197 --> 01:42:23,789
Damn, that's nasty.

1305
01:42:23,965 --> 01:42:26,627
Always bet on black. Yeah.

1306
01:42:26,802 --> 01:42:29,362
Yeah, always bet on black.
That's a great quote.

1307
01:42:29,538 --> 01:42:32,974
Game on. Not a drop can be spilled.

1308
01:42:36,244 --> 01:42:38,041
Shake it off.

1309
01:43:22,290 --> 01:43:25,020
Hey, fatass, when I dropped
your brother in that vat...

1310
01:43:25,193 --> 01:43:26,888
...he squealed like a stuffed pig.

1311
01:43:33,401 --> 01:43:35,460
Germany!

1312
01:43:36,071 --> 01:43:37,470
Did you hear what she said?

1313
01:43:42,410 --> 01:43:44,537
Get out of here. Get out!

1314
01:43:44,713 --> 01:43:47,181
No, no. Hey, ump. Do something, ump.

1315
01:43:47,349 --> 01:43:48,543
Losers.

1316
01:43:50,652 --> 01:43:52,779
See you later, stableboy.

1317
01:43:52,954 --> 01:43:54,945
Say hello to the family whore.

1318
01:43:55,123 --> 01:43:59,719
<i>U.S.A. sucks! U.S.A. sucks!
U.S.A. sucks!</i>

1319
01:44:05,233 --> 01:44:06,598
Double or nothing.

1320
01:44:06,768 --> 01:44:08,633
On what, huh?

1321
01:44:08,804 --> 01:44:12,740
The von Wolfhausen family recipe.

1322
01:44:13,508 --> 01:44:15,772
You win, you get to keep it.

1323
01:44:16,611 --> 01:44:19,774
We win, we get your brewery.

1324
01:44:19,948 --> 01:44:22,007
Or should I say our brewery?

1325
01:44:22,184 --> 01:44:25,449
But we already have the recipe.

1326
01:44:27,055 --> 01:44:29,148
I got it off of the nerd's computer.

1327
01:44:30,525 --> 01:44:32,686
-You're fucked.
-Yeah, he's fucked.

1328
01:44:36,164 --> 01:44:38,325
-That's rich, Baron.
-What's so funny?

1329
01:44:38,500 --> 01:44:40,434
I didn't put that recipe on my computer.

1330
01:44:41,236 --> 01:44:46,037
However, you are holding the recipe
for a low-carb strawberry beer.

1331
01:44:46,641 --> 01:44:49,132
We call it She-Wolf. It's okay.

1332
01:44:49,311 --> 01:44:51,472
Strawberry?

1333
01:44:53,014 --> 01:44:54,982
No. No. You know how
you like strawberries?

1334
01:44:55,150 --> 01:44:57,618
You want me to lose weight,
so that was the low-carb--

1335
01:44:57,786 --> 01:45:00,584
Wait a minute, we like strawberry--
Get your damn hands off--

1336
01:45:00,755 --> 01:45:03,747
You're trying to see my panties.
Goddamn it, put me down, please!

1337
01:45:03,925 --> 01:45:08,692
Where are the Africans?
Can the Africans come help me? Jesus!

1338
01:45:11,766 --> 01:45:14,257
So are we gonna play for the recipe...

1339
01:45:14,436 --> 01:45:17,599
...or should I just roll it up
and eat it? I'm hungry.

1340
01:45:17,772 --> 01:45:20,707
Wait, wait. Wait. Wait!

1341
01:45:20,876 --> 01:45:22,468
Put your money where your mouth is.

1342
01:45:22,644 --> 01:45:26,944
Us against you. Ten boots.
Five against five.

1343
01:45:27,115 --> 01:45:30,744
You couldn't even do one boot.
You can barely stand!

1344
01:45:33,121 --> 01:45:34,110
Grandpapa?

1345
01:45:34,756 --> 01:45:37,850
Take the bet, you fucking pussy.

1346
01:45:42,230 --> 01:45:44,858
Okay. Crush the bastards.

1347
01:45:45,967 --> 01:45:48,527
And then I want spectator number one
killed.

1348
01:45:48,703 --> 01:45:52,195
Yeah, this is going to be like taking
black walnut candy from the baby.

1349
01:45:52,374 --> 01:45:55,537
<i>That's very funny, Deutschbag.
Only thing is:</i>

1350
01:45:55,710 --> 01:46:00,409
One, we're not babies, and two--

1351
01:46:00,582 --> 01:46:02,777
We're not that drunk.

1352
01:46:04,686 --> 01:46:08,144
They're not that drunk. Cheeky bastards.

1353
01:46:08,323 --> 01:46:12,089
<i>They're not that drunk!
They're not that drunk!</i>

1354
01:46:12,260 --> 01:46:15,423
<i>They're not that drunk!
They're not that drunk!</i>

1355
01:46:15,597 --> 01:46:17,360
<i>They're not that drunk!</i>

1356
01:46:17,532 --> 01:46:19,329
Five boots? Are you fucking mental?

1357
01:46:19,501 --> 01:46:20,968
Trust me, we can do this.

1358
01:46:21,136 --> 01:46:23,229
Just spin the boot
when the bubble comes.

1359
01:46:23,405 --> 01:46:24,872
Trust me, this will work.

1360
01:46:25,040 --> 01:46:27,440
Gentlemen. Ready?

1361
01:46:27,609 --> 01:46:30,237
Good luck. You're going to need it.

1362
01:46:31,846 --> 01:46:35,247
<i>Das Boot!</i>

1363
01:46:35,417 --> 01:46:37,578
<i>Das Boot! Das Boot! Das Boot!</i>

1364
01:47:01,743 --> 01:47:03,608
<i>Deutschland, you're floored!</i>

1365
01:47:05,680 --> 01:47:08,808
Look, the little one looks like he has
pubic hair all over his head.

1366
01:47:08,984 --> 01:47:11,953
It's okay, it works.
Yeah, because you have a dickface.

1367
01:47:12,120 --> 01:47:14,111
You son of a bitch!

1368
01:47:15,090 --> 01:47:17,081
Yeah.

1369
01:47:17,258 --> 01:47:20,489
I accidentally pushed his thingy off.

1370
01:47:22,063 --> 01:47:24,554
That's a great one. Dickface.

1371
01:47:27,669 --> 01:47:29,034
Fink's got the eye of the Jew.

1372
01:47:29,204 --> 01:47:32,298
He's got the eye of the Jew.
Fink's our anchorman.

1373
01:47:32,474 --> 01:47:35,773
Come on. Trust me. Trust me.

1374
01:47:37,379 --> 01:47:39,210
You just blew it, Friedrich.

1375
01:47:46,921 --> 01:47:48,582
Spin it.

1376
01:47:48,757 --> 01:47:49,781
Come on.

1377
01:47:56,831 --> 01:47:58,765
Spin it.

1378
01:48:07,442 --> 01:48:08,636
Spin it.

1379
01:48:34,035 --> 01:48:37,232
Drink, Fink. Drink, Fink. Drink, Fink.

1380
01:48:37,405 --> 01:48:42,001
<i>Drink, Fink, drink! Drink, Fink, drink!
Drink, Fink, drink!</i>

1381
01:49:16,444 --> 01:49:18,105
U.S.A.

1382
01:49:38,533 --> 01:49:42,401
<i>U.S.A. U.S.A. U.S.A.</i>

1383
01:50:17,739 --> 01:50:20,765
A little R and R in Amsterdam.
Just what the doctor ordered.

1384
01:50:20,942 --> 01:50:24,400
You know, I came to a conference
here once. Hookerthon 2002.

1385
01:50:24,579 --> 01:50:25,978
Fantastic seminars.

1386
01:50:26,147 --> 01:50:27,307
Sounds fun.

1387
01:50:27,482 --> 01:50:30,849
Nothing but the best for the executives
of von Wolfhausen brewery, right?

1388
01:50:31,019 --> 01:50:32,179
That's right.

1389
01:50:32,353 --> 01:50:35,652
Hey, guys, where are we?

1390
01:50:35,823 --> 01:50:40,192
I think the hotel is this way?

1391
01:50:40,361 --> 01:50:41,453
You gotta be kidding me.

1392
01:50:41,629 --> 01:50:43,392
Hold on. Let me check.

1393
01:50:44,632 --> 01:50:46,361
No, I think it's that way.

1394
01:50:51,606 --> 01:50:53,267
Hey.

1395
01:50:53,441 --> 01:50:55,841
-Holy crap, Willie Nelson.
-What are you doing here?

1396
01:50:56,010 --> 01:50:58,137
It's a funny story.
I was invited over here...

1397
01:50:58,313 --> 01:51:01,339
...for this big, secret, international,
pot-smoking competition.

1398
01:51:03,151 --> 01:51:05,551
My teammates, Cheech and Chong,
chickened out on me.

1399
01:51:05,720 --> 01:51:07,779
They wouldn't fly
in my biodiesel airplane...

1400
01:51:07,956 --> 01:51:11,483
...and the smoke-out's in 30 minutes
and I don't wanna get disqualified.

1401
01:51:11,659 --> 01:51:14,628
Now, you guys don't wanna
be my teammates, do you?

1402
01:51:14,796 --> 01:51:16,787
Yeah!

1403
01:51:18,433 --> 01:51:21,266
Let's do it. Did you hear one
about the guy that told his son:

1404
01:51:21,436 --> 01:51:23,427
"If you don't quit masturbating,
you'll go blind."

1405
01:51:23,605 --> 01:51:25,300
He said, "Dad, I'm over here."

1406
01:51:46,861 --> 01:51:48,886
Oh, you guys fancy yourselves
drinkers, huh?

1407
01:51:49,063 --> 01:51:51,827
Yeah, maybe a little bit.
I think we just won the--

1408
01:51:52,000 --> 01:51:54,730
Yeah, I think we just--
Yeah, I think we just--

1409
01:51:54,902 --> 01:51:56,995
What the hell is going on? Yeah.

1410
01:52:02,076 --> 01:52:05,409
-Bastards.
-I was playing Ping-Pong in Ding Dang.

1411
01:52:06,080 --> 01:52:07,411
I was-- I saw that.

1412
01:52:07,582 --> 01:52:10,915
Turned out, the guys I was playing--
The guys-- Okay.

1413
01:52:11,085 --> 01:52:13,610
I was playing Ping-Pong in Ding Dang.

1414
01:52:15,590 --> 01:52:17,353
I mean, come on. Cut it.

1415
01:52:17,525 --> 01:52:19,720
This sweet nectar was my lifeblood.

1416
01:52:20,461 --> 01:52:22,588
Oh, yeah, Landfill.
Go for it, my friend.

1417
01:52:22,764 --> 01:52:24,197
He's got it going on, this guy.

1418
01:52:24,365 --> 01:52:25,627
Are we playing or not?

1419
01:52:25,800 --> 01:52:28,098
<i>Time to scheiße off the--</i>

1420
01:52:28,636 --> 01:52:29,796
Are we playing or not?

1421
01:52:29,971 --> 01:52:32,030
<i>Time to scheiße on our--</i>

1422
01:52:32,206 --> 01:52:33,764
Are we playing or not?

1423
01:52:33,941 --> 01:52:36,569
<i>Time to scheiße or get off the crap.</i>

1424
01:52:36,744 --> 01:52:38,371
Crapper.

1425
01:52:44,352 --> 01:52:45,876
Okay, come back in, do it again.

1426
01:52:46,054 --> 01:52:47,385
All right.

1427
01:52:48,189 --> 01:52:49,918
Everybody's drunk.

1428
01:52:56,631 --> 01:52:59,156
And cut it. Cut.

1429
01:53:08,242 --> 01:53:11,109
One question. Who are we gonna get--?

1430
01:53:13,648 --> 01:53:15,081
Do I know you?

1431
01:53:15,983 --> 01:53:18,076
Me? No. No, I don't think so.

1432
01:53:18,252 --> 01:53:21,744
Well, you look familiar.
Didn't I pay you a dollar for something?

1433
01:53:22,523 --> 01:53:24,548
No, no. Wasn't me, no.

1434
01:53:24,726 --> 01:53:27,752
I remember now. I paid you a dollar
to touch your toes...

1435
01:53:27,929 --> 01:53:29,590
...and then touch your dick.

1436
01:53:31,566 --> 01:53:33,397
Yeah, that could have been me.

1437
01:53:34,602 --> 01:53:36,160
Good to see you again.

1438
01:53:37,605 --> 01:53:41,006
I wish it were winter. We could make it
into ice blocks and skate on it...

1439
01:53:41,175 --> 01:53:43,575
...and then melt it in the springtime
and drink it.

1440
01:53:50,351 --> 01:53:51,340
All right, cut it.

1441
01:53:51,519 --> 01:53:53,111
Cut.

1442
01:56:23,704 --> 01:56:25,695
[ENGLISH]

