1
00:00:09,426 --> 00:00:11,345
加油!上場了!

2
00:00:11,428 --> 00:00:12,387
出發!出發!

3
00:00:12,471 --> 00:00:13,639
加油!加油!

4
00:00:47,130 --> 00:00:49,383
這是我跟魯伯結婚五週年時買的

5
00:00:50,175 --> 00:00:52,344
你們真有眼光

6
00:00:53,595 --> 00:00:54,596
你想要嗎?

7
00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:59,142
但這是霍克尼的作品
肯定值百萬英鎊

8
00:00:59,977 --> 00:01:01,979
說得好,你應該接受的

9
00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:03,856
-拿去拍賣吧
-好的,夫人

10
00:01:08,318 --> 00:01:09,486
(瑞奇蒙足球俱樂部
新東家芮貝卡威爾頓)

11
00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:10,445
(兩人分手收場
各擁波霸與蠢蛋)

12
00:01:10,529 --> 00:01:11,864
曼尼太太

13
00:01:11,947 --> 00:01:14,199
抱歉,威爾頓小姐

14
00:01:15,534 --> 00:01:16,577
喬治來了

15
00:01:16,660 --> 00:01:18,245
他來了為什麼不進來?

16
00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:20,956
有道理

17
00:01:21,540 --> 00:01:22,541
喬治

18
00:01:23,125 --> 00:01:25,294
-小胖
-真有你的

19
00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:28,046
我喜歡妳這裡的裝潢

20
00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:30,924
妳自己設計的還是有小白臉幫妳?

21
00:01:31,008 --> 00:01:33,135
我也很好奇你的髮型是誰幫你用的

22
00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:36,221
她話很敢講,對吧?

23
00:01:36,847 --> 00:01:39,099
聽好了,小姐
我馬上就要去訓練了

24
00:01:39,183 --> 00:01:42,728
所以不管妳想說什麼

25
00:01:42,811 --> 00:01:44,479
-麻煩妳講重點
-好

26
00:01:44,563 --> 00:01:45,564
你被炒魷魚了

27
00:01:45,647 --> 00:01:47,024
是喔

28
00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:49,651
我會買回你剩下的合約

29
00:01:51,195 --> 00:01:52,821
祝你好運

30
00:01:54,573 --> 00:01:56,116
炒我魷魚?為什麼?

31
00:01:58,243 --> 00:02:00,954
我有數不盡的理由

32
00:02:01,747 --> 00:02:03,332
例如你偶爾發作的厭女症

33
00:02:03,415 --> 00:02:05,250
-什麼?
-我知道那名詞很複雜

34
00:02:05,334 --> 00:02:06,960
去問問你女兒那是什麼意思吧

35
00:02:07,044 --> 00:02:08,628
也可能是你的表現問題

36
00:02:08,711 --> 00:02:12,633
球隊這一季又是表現平平

37
00:02:12,716 --> 00:02:15,302
也可能是因為你堅持穿這種熱褲

38
00:02:15,385 --> 00:02:17,137
硬要露出你一邊的蛋蛋

39
00:02:18,430 --> 00:02:19,681
另外一邊也露出來了

40
00:02:20,349 --> 00:02:21,433
連恩跟諾爾

41
00:02:22,059 --> 00:02:23,519
雖然可能已經沒有綠洲合唱團了

42
00:02:23,602 --> 00:02:26,188
但老實說,喬治

43
00:02:26,271 --> 00:02:29,525
你被解雇是因為我是新東家
而我不喜歡你

44
00:02:31,109 --> 00:02:32,945
你可以滾了,死胖子

45
00:02:36,532 --> 00:02:37,991
小胖

46
00:02:38,075 --> 00:02:39,493
你覺得哪一個比較糟?

47
00:02:39,576 --> 00:02:43,747
丈夫出軌或是她最後才知道?

48
00:02:46,708 --> 00:02:48,961
可以請誰幫我買份沙拉嗎?

49
00:02:50,629 --> 00:02:53,006
請別放葡萄乾

50
00:02:53,090 --> 00:02:54,216
去妳的

51
00:02:54,883 --> 00:02:58,262
那新經理的部分怎麼辦?

52
00:02:58,345 --> 00:03:00,889
要我擬一份人選名單嗎?

53
00:03:00,973 --> 00:03:03,642
不用

54
00:03:07,855 --> 00:03:08,689
(運動中心)

55
00:03:08,772 --> 00:03:11,733
大西洋對岸傳來一則
有些出乎意料的消息

56
00:03:11,817 --> 00:03:14,611
瑞奇蒙足球俱樂部宣布了
新任經理人選

57
00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:16,947
希爾多“泰德”萊索

58
00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:21,410
萊索教練最近帶領
第二區的威奇塔州立大學割麥者隊

59
00:03:21,493 --> 00:03:24,329
首次進入全國美式足球冠軍賽

60
00:03:24,413 --> 00:03:26,915
他在擔任教頭的第一季

61
00:03:26,999 --> 00:03:29,918
就將垃圾隊伍割麥者隊
帶進了巔峰狀態

62
00:03:30,002 --> 00:03:34,006
但這不是泰德拉索吸引我們

63
00:03:34,089 --> 00:03:35,591
吸引收視率的地方

64
00:03:35,674 --> 00:03:37,217
我個人認為每當泰德

65
00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:40,470
跟他的隊伍一起歡樂同慶時

66
00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:42,764
那種方式真的要看了才會懂

67
00:03:42,848 --> 00:03:44,349
就算看到了

68
00:03:45,601 --> 00:03:48,353
也不見得會懂

69
00:03:50,606 --> 00:03:52,107
很好,泰德,繼續做自己

70
00:03:52,191 --> 00:03:54,526
加油,為我們帶來最精采的比賽

71
00:03:55,027 --> 00:03:56,236
讓我們引以為傲

72
00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:57,321
美國加油

73
00:03:58,280 --> 00:03:59,823
(洗手間)

74
00:04:04,536 --> 00:04:05,746
(傑克凱魯亞克《得道流浪漢》)

75
00:04:11,502 --> 00:04:12,503
兄弟,這是你嗎?

76
00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:15,214
-沒錯
-天哪,傳奇人物

77
00:04:15,297 --> 00:04:16,548
可以跟我合拍嗎?

78
00:04:17,966 --> 00:04:19,218
太屌了

79
00:04:19,301 --> 00:04:21,303
我們那邊的人說自拍

80
00:04:21,386 --> 00:04:22,638
但我又不是自己自拍,對吧?

81
00:04:22,721 --> 00:04:24,389
是我們一起,對吧?合拍

82
00:04:24,473 --> 00:04:25,891
對,說得好

83
00:04:25,974 --> 00:04:26,892
真屌

84
00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:28,810
你是美式足球教練

85
00:04:28,894 --> 00:04:31,355
老兄,你是這個超蠢行業的傳奇人物

86
00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:34,107
我是說你根本就瘋了
他們早晚會殺了你

87
00:04:34,650 --> 00:04:36,985
這種說法我聽過

88
00:04:37,069 --> 00:04:38,695
但我人還好好的

89
00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:41,114
-傳奇人物
-對,幸會

90
00:04:45,536 --> 00:04:47,204
你在看什麼?又是跟足球有關的書

91
00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:48,580
教練,你真是求知若渴

92
00:04:49,206 --> 00:04:51,208
來吧,跟我說個有趣的小知識

93
00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:53,919
他們把“界外球”稱“觸界球”

94
00:04:54,002 --> 00:04:56,755
好,要是我等一下用那個詞造句的話
你得給我五塊

95
00:04:56,839 --> 00:04:58,340
-沒問題
-好

96
00:04:59,883 --> 00:05:02,052
晚安,座艙即將熄燈

97
00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:04,346
我們得睡一下,時差可不好受

98
00:05:04,429 --> 00:05:06,682
沒錯

99
00:05:09,101 --> 00:05:10,727
我們是瘋了嗎?

100
00:05:11,353 --> 00:05:12,521
對,瘋了

101
00:05:12,604 --> 00:05:15,315
但接受這個挑戰就跟騎馬一樣,對吧?

102
00:05:15,399 --> 00:05:16,984
如果過程很自在的話

103
00:05:17,067 --> 00:05:18,068
可能就是方法錯了

104
00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:21,697
-好,教練晚安
-晚安

105
00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:26,660
那個

106
00:05:26,743 --> 00:05:30,122
要是我們在夢裡見面的話
就鬼扯一下

107
00:05:30,205 --> 00:05:32,541
-假裝我們彼此不認識
-好,陌生人

108
00:05:32,624 --> 00:05:34,042
好樣的

109
00:06:04,656 --> 00:06:07,242
泰德拉索:錯棚教練趣事多

110
00:06:08,410 --> 00:06:10,495
-你完全沒睡?
-沒有

111
00:06:10,579 --> 00:06:12,748
我的腦子根本停不下來

112
00:06:12,831 --> 00:06:14,708
我一開始是在想睡不著怎麼辦

113
00:06:14,791 --> 00:06:17,419
然後又想到我在想睡不著的事

114
00:06:17,503 --> 00:06:18,837
每次都沒好事

115
00:06:18,921 --> 00:06:19,922
結果沒多久

116
00:06:20,005 --> 00:06:21,798
他們就端來了熱巧克力脆片餅乾

117
00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:23,175
飛機就開始降落了

118
00:06:23,258 --> 00:06:25,344
我沒吃到餅乾,被你吃掉了嗎?

119
00:06:25,427 --> 00:06:27,221
那不是重點,他們應該是來接我們的

120
00:06:27,304 --> 00:06:28,472
你好

121
00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:29,973
-我叫泰德,你呢?
-歐利

122
00:06:30,057 --> 00:06:31,517
-好,歐利
-我幫你拿行李

123
00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:33,977
不用了,歐利,我們的行李我們自己拿

124
00:06:34,061 --> 00:06:35,979
我們想先放鬆一下

125
00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:37,064
好,跟我來

126
00:06:42,110 --> 00:06:43,779
我們到了

127
00:06:45,489 --> 00:06:48,158
教練,我們已經不在堪薩斯州了,對吧?

128
00:06:49,660 --> 00:06:51,703
我之前人不在堪薩斯州時
都沒那樣說過

129
00:06:51,787 --> 00:06:53,539
-感覺挺好的
-對

130
00:06:54,665 --> 00:06:56,458
歐利,謝謝你的安排

131
00:06:56,542 --> 00:06:57,918
我們隨時可以出發

132
00:06:58,001 --> 00:06:59,503
好,那是倫敦塔橋

133
00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:02,422
對,不是倫敦鐵橋,因為這還沒垮

134
00:07:02,506 --> 00:07:05,300
(瑞奇蒙足球俱樂部)

135
00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:08,929
你知道足球的由來嗎?

136
00:07:09,012 --> 00:07:10,597
維多利亞時期的學院校長們

137
00:07:10,681 --> 00:07:13,433
絞盡腦汁想讓男同學們停止手淫

138
00:07:13,517 --> 00:07:17,187
所以他們發明了一種
讓男學生們完全用不到手的運動

139
00:07:17,271 --> 00:07:19,064
他們以為那會奏效

140
00:07:19,147 --> 00:07:20,816
我是不知道有沒有用,不過...

141
00:07:36,707 --> 00:07:38,584
感覺不太一樣,教練

142
00:07:38,667 --> 00:07:40,335
我是說一樣的草地,感覺卻不太一樣

143
00:07:40,419 --> 00:07:42,421
-隱喻法
-你知道的

144
00:07:42,504 --> 00:07:43,589
喂 !

145
00:07:43,672 --> 00:07:45,716
不好意思

146
00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:47,009
你

147
00:07:47,092 --> 00:07:48,427
離開!

148
00:07:48,510 --> 00:07:50,095
不要摸草地!

149
00:07:50,179 --> 00:07:52,890
快離開草地!拜託你別再摸那草地了!

150
00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:54,308
-好,好
-你是誰?

151
00:07:54,391 --> 00:07:56,310
我是泰德萊索,這位是比德教練

152
00:07:56,393 --> 00:07:58,645
-天哪,你是新經理
-對

153
00:07:58,729 --> 00:08:00,397
-那草隨便你拔
-不是

154
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:01,732
我們剛割完草,我可以去翻垃圾桶

155
00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:03,942
-我可以再去拿一些過來
-不用了,沒關係

156
00:08:04,401 --> 00:08:06,528
-謝謝
-好

157
00:08:07,738 --> 00:08:08,989
好

158
00:08:10,282 --> 00:08:12,492
-不過我們還是不能站在草地上
-對,沒錯

159
00:08:12,576 --> 00:08:13,410
我們要道歉嗎?

160
00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:15,120
-草地對不起
-草地對不起

161
00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:18,081
我們要跟芮貝卡威爾頓見面

162
00:08:18,165 --> 00:08:19,416
對,我們現在就是要去找她

163
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:20,918
他都先想好了

164
00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:22,920
順便問一下,你叫什麼名字?

165
00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:24,087
-我嗎?
-對

166
00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:25,547
從來沒有人問過我的名字

167
00:08:31,970 --> 00:08:33,138
你準備好了再告訴我

168
00:08:33,222 --> 00:08:34,681
我叫內森

169
00:08:34,765 --> 00:08:36,225
內森,好名字

170
00:08:36,308 --> 00:08:37,392
我超愛你們家的熱狗

171
00:08:38,101 --> 00:08:39,102
對,我知道

172
00:08:39,186 --> 00:08:41,605
很好,你們這裡也有內森熱狗嗎?

173
00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:42,688
沒有

174
00:08:42,773 --> 00:08:43,774
好吧

175
00:08:44,983 --> 00:08:46,985
我喜歡這小子

176
00:08:47,736 --> 00:08:49,863
我來幫你們介紹一下,老大

177
00:08:49,947 --> 00:08:50,948
我們到了

178
00:08:52,491 --> 00:08:53,492
你好

179
00:09:03,836 --> 00:09:06,255
你們好,我是新教練泰德萊索

180
00:09:06,338 --> 00:09:09,716
-想必妳就是威爾頓小姐了
-請叫我芮貝卡

181
00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:11,009
威爾頓小姐是我父親

182
00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:13,637
這笑話真好笑

183
00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:15,514
如果不是笑話的話
那妳隨時可以跟我分享那心事

184
00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:17,057
這是比德教練

185
00:09:17,140 --> 00:09:20,269
很高興我們終於見面了

186
00:09:20,352 --> 00:09:21,186
希金斯?

187
00:09:21,270 --> 00:09:24,898
抱歉,這是希金斯
我們現任的新聞部主任

188
00:09:24,982 --> 00:09:25,983
現任?

189
00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:29,653
請你幫比德教練他們
處理身分證跟住房資訊

190
00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:31,238
還有其他相關事宜

191
00:09:31,321 --> 00:09:34,116
-無線網路密碼、濕紙巾
-加濕器,我早就想好了,教練

192
00:09:34,199 --> 00:09:35,284
謝謝

193
00:09:37,703 --> 00:09:39,705
-請坐
-好

194
00:09:40,414 --> 00:09:42,291
-要喝點什麼嗎?
-好,麻煩妳

195
00:09:42,374 --> 00:09:44,334
我在飛機上都沒什麼睡
妳有什麼我就喝什麼

196
00:09:44,418 --> 00:09:46,253
來點咖啡因應該會很有效

197
00:09:46,336 --> 00:09:48,172
像是摩卡奇諾咖啡或是星冰樂

198
00:09:48,255 --> 00:09:51,008
任何沒有咖啡味的咖啡飲品都可以

199
00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:52,176
你喜歡喝怎樣的茶?

200
00:09:52,801 --> 00:09:54,761
我通常都馬上退還給櫃檯

201
00:09:54,845 --> 00:09:56,805
因為肯定是他們點錯了

202
00:09:56,889 --> 00:09:57,764
不過我得入境隨俗

203
00:09:58,849 --> 00:10:01,435
好,來杯茶

204
00:10:05,230 --> 00:10:06,231
怎麼樣?

205
00:10:06,315 --> 00:10:09,276
我一直以為茶喝起來就像是棕色的熱水

206
00:10:09,359 --> 00:10:10,527
但是妳知道嗎?

207
00:10:10,611 --> 00:10:13,322
我是對的,對,太難喝了,謝謝

208
00:10:13,405 --> 00:10:14,656
歡迎來英國

209
00:10:14,740 --> 00:10:16,241
是啊,“早點習慣吧,魯蛇”

210
00:10:16,325 --> 00:10:18,160
你想四處參觀一下嗎?

211
00:10:18,243 --> 00:10:20,621
-我想看看艾比路
-參觀一下俱樂部

212
00:10:20,704 --> 00:10:21,788
好,就從那裡開始吧

213
00:10:21,872 --> 00:10:26,877
這走廊代表了我們俱樂部
平庸卻悠久的歷史

214
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:28,795
第一場比賽是在1897年

215
00:10:28,879 --> 00:10:33,050
我們的球場在戰爭時期充當臨時醫院

216
00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:34,593
對,有些當地人說

217
00:10:34,676 --> 00:10:37,679
他們看見已逝的士兵們
依然在球場上徘迴

218
00:10:37,763 --> 00:10:39,139
真恐怖

219
00:10:39,223 --> 00:10:42,059
-泰德,你相信鬼魂的存在嗎?
-我信

220
00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:45,354
但我認為重點是
他們得先相信自己的存在

221
00:10:46,438 --> 00:10:47,272
好

222
00:10:47,356 --> 00:10:49,900
這面牆上有先前幾任東家們的照片

223
00:10:50,442 --> 00:10:52,778
看看這傢伙

224
00:10:52,861 --> 00:10:53,695
(魯柏曼尼
1987年上任)

225
00:10:53,779 --> 00:10:55,405
那些女孩跟香檳是怎麼回事?

226
00:10:55,489 --> 00:10:56,949
他看起來樂壞了

227
00:10:57,032 --> 00:10:58,242
那是我前夫

228
00:10:58,325 --> 00:11:01,745
我發現有時候會樂極生悲

229
00:11:02,287 --> 00:11:03,664
那些我都聽說了

230
00:11:03,747 --> 00:11:05,040
妳還好吧?

231
00:11:07,209 --> 00:11:08,585
還好,是有點難熬

232
00:11:08,669 --> 00:11:09,711
對

233
00:11:10,838 --> 00:11:13,090
-你得出席記者會
-對

234
00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:15,843
我很樂意好好補眠幾晚後再出席

235
00:11:15,926 --> 00:11:18,428
很抱歉,我以為你知道
他們現在已經在等你了

236
00:11:18,512 --> 00:11:19,346
什麼?

237
00:11:21,807 --> 00:11:23,016
廢話少說

238
00:11:23,100 --> 00:11:26,979
讓我們歡迎新任經理
瑞奇蒙足球俱樂部的泰德拉索

239
00:11:33,527 --> 00:11:34,778
好

240
00:11:34,862 --> 00:11:36,697
好,大家好

241
00:11:40,284 --> 00:11:41,159
那是教練

242
00:11:41,243 --> 00:11:43,787
老天泰德

243
00:11:43,871 --> 00:11:45,163
快看,我們的教練

244
00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:48,208
快看!

245
00:11:48,292 --> 00:11:51,003
再不安靜的話,我就要揍人了

246
00:11:52,004 --> 00:11:54,423
等我一下,我喉嚨有點乾

247
00:11:59,887 --> 00:12:01,805
我不知道是氣泡水,抱歉

248
00:12:01,889 --> 00:12:03,807
看看這娘炮!

249
00:12:03,891 --> 00:12:05,392
媽的美國佬!

250
00:12:05,475 --> 00:12:07,394
好

251
00:12:07,477 --> 00:12:09,855
我們直接切入重點吧
有問題要問嗎?

252
00:12:11,607 --> 00:12:13,734
糟糕,我早該知道會這樣

253
00:12:13,817 --> 00:12:15,777
那個,先把手放下吧

254
00:12:15,861 --> 00:12:16,987
讓我很快...

255
00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:18,155
好

256
00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:19,531
我直接說重點吧

257
00:12:19,615 --> 00:12:21,909
先來回答這個最明顯的問題

258
00:12:21,992 --> 00:12:27,122
我從沒指導過
你們這裡稱為足球的這種運動

259
00:12:27,206 --> 00:12:28,207
天哪

260
00:12:28,832 --> 00:12:29,917
什麼?

261
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:32,878
靠,我對足球這運動一無所知

262
00:12:34,296 --> 00:12:35,547
但我要說說我所知道的

263
00:12:35,631 --> 00:12:38,675
我知道瑞奇蒙足球俱樂部
會跟我帶過的任何隊伍一樣

264
00:12:38,759 --> 00:12:41,094
在四個節數中

265
00:12:41,178 --> 00:12:42,554
-每次上場時總是全力以赴
-兩個

266
00:12:43,347 --> 00:12:45,265
-什麼?
-是兩個半場

267
00:12:45,349 --> 00:12:46,600
對,抱歉,兩個半場,對

268
00:12:46,683 --> 00:12:49,561
他們會在兩個半場中
不管輸贏,每次上場都全力以赴

269
00:12:49,645 --> 00:12:50,729
或是平手

270
00:12:50,812 --> 00:12:52,564
對,你們這裡還有平手

271
00:12:52,648 --> 00:12:54,775
抱歉,我還在適應當中

272
00:12:54,858 --> 00:12:57,694
因為在我們那裡
要是比賽以平手收場的話

273
00:12:57,778 --> 00:13:00,864
可能代表世界末日要來了

274
00:13:03,700 --> 00:13:06,078
聽著,我尊重你們的媒體專業

275
00:13:06,161 --> 00:13:07,996
我歡迎你們隨時指教

276
00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:11,500
懂嗎?你們可以問我任何問題
沒有任何問題是會觸界的

277
00:13:11,583 --> 00:13:13,919
好,最後一個問題

278
00:13:14,545 --> 00:13:16,505
第二排的那個朋友

279
00:13:16,588 --> 00:13:17,589
對

280
00:13:18,215 --> 00:13:19,716
我喜歡你的眼鏡

281
00:13:20,634 --> 00:13:21,635
謝謝

282
00:13:22,344 --> 00:13:23,679
我是獨立報的特倫特克林

283
00:13:24,221 --> 00:13:26,014
我只是想確認一點

284
00:13:26,098 --> 00:13:28,392
你是位以前從沒來過英國的美國人

285
00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:31,436
你在體壇的成就只能算是

286
00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:33,564
二流的業餘等級

287
00:13:33,647 --> 00:13:35,607
現在卻要負責

288
00:13:35,691 --> 00:13:37,234
帶領一支英超足球俱樂部

289
00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:40,612
而你顯然對這門運動相當外行

290
00:13:41,530 --> 00:13:43,073
特倫特,你有問題要問嗎?

291
00:13:43,866 --> 00:13:44,950
有

292
00:13:45,534 --> 00:13:47,202
這是什麼鬼笑話?

293
00:13:48,537 --> 00:13:50,873
-謝謝,特倫特
-我愛死記者了

294
00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:54,042
你說得出任何足球員的名字嗎?

295
00:13:54,126 --> 00:13:57,296
可以,羅納度,還有那部電影裡的球員

296
00:13:57,379 --> 00:13:59,506
-是他媽的貝克漢!都演電影了!
-你這北七

297
00:13:59,590 --> 00:14:00,757
你到底是什麼鬼?

298
00:14:00,841 --> 00:14:02,968
你知道英超聯賽中有幾場比賽嗎?

299
00:14:03,051 --> 00:14:04,219
我一時想不起來

300
00:14:06,763 --> 00:14:08,015
你說什麼我們聽不懂

301
00:14:08,098 --> 00:14:09,516
去年的冠軍是哪支球隊?

302
00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:11,560
老實說我不知道,抱歉

303
00:14:12,269 --> 00:14:13,478
守門員是什麼?

304
00:14:13,562 --> 00:14:16,023
帶著米老鼠大手套
站在球網旁邊的那個人

305
00:14:16,106 --> 00:14:17,566
太可悲了

306
00:14:17,649 --> 00:14:19,151
你得滾回美國去

307
00:14:28,869 --> 00:14:30,662
對,不是

308
00:14:33,707 --> 00:14:35,083
氣泡水

309
00:14:35,167 --> 00:14:37,085
搞屁

310
00:14:37,961 --> 00:14:39,505
萊索教練

311
00:14:39,588 --> 00:14:42,216
我的老天,請原諒我的同鄉們

312
00:14:42,299 --> 00:14:44,092
過去這幾年來

313
00:14:44,176 --> 00:14:47,387
我們似乎摒棄了所有禮節跟待客之道

314
00:14:47,471 --> 00:14:49,973
你們這群人真狠

315
00:14:50,057 --> 00:14:53,018
但我不記得記者招待室
什麼時候坐滿過

316
00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:55,521
你們全都來了

317
00:14:55,604 --> 00:14:57,314
可能你們腦袋還算清楚

318
00:14:57,397 --> 00:15:00,192
雖然你們人數眾多

319
00:15:00,275 --> 00:15:02,194
但我看過的瑞奇蒙賽事

320
00:15:02,277 --> 00:15:04,446
比在座的每一個人多

321
00:15:04,530 --> 00:15:08,367
過去幾年在前任東家的管理下

322
00:15:08,450 --> 00:15:10,702
我只看到極為平庸的表現

323
00:15:13,121 --> 00:15:14,289
我說得沒錯吧?

324
00:15:14,373 --> 00:15:15,582
這話有點難聽

325
00:15:18,460 --> 00:15:19,503
但我沒說錯吧?

326
00:15:20,754 --> 00:15:21,755
沒有

327
00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:26,635
萊索教練的經歷
或許達不到你們的標準

328
00:15:26,718 --> 00:15:28,929
但他有個俱樂部沒有的東西

329
00:15:29,012 --> 00:15:30,430
這個千禧年的獎盃

330
00:15:31,265 --> 00:15:34,893
所以不管你們喜不喜歡
瑞奇蒙都要改變策略

331
00:15:34,977 --> 00:15:38,063
從現在開始,我們要走“萊索策略”

332
00:15:40,399 --> 00:15:43,777
期待在水晶宮的下一場賽事中見到各位

333
00:15:43,861 --> 00:15:45,237
感謝各位

334
00:15:47,114 --> 00:15:48,365
幸會了

335
00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:50,742
抱歉我把水吐得到處都是

336
00:15:51,493 --> 00:15:52,494
謝謝你們

337
00:15:54,621 --> 00:15:55,789
我給他三個禮拜

338
00:15:56,415 --> 00:15:59,251
天哪,真抱歉,我不知道怎麼搞的

339
00:15:59,334 --> 00:16:01,587
泰德,你完全不用管他們

340
00:16:01,670 --> 00:16:02,671
把自己的工作做好

341
00:16:02,754 --> 00:16:04,840
證明他們是錯的,這樣就夠了

342
00:16:04,923 --> 00:16:06,675
謝謝妳,謝謝,教練

343
00:16:06,758 --> 00:16:07,759
好

344
00:16:09,094 --> 00:16:12,097
妳看,我不喝氣泡水就沒事
喝再多都沒事

345
00:16:13,891 --> 00:16:16,560
好,我想去跟球隊打個招呼

346
00:16:16,643 --> 00:16:18,645
教頭離不開足球場

347
00:16:20,063 --> 00:16:22,441
說得好

348
00:16:22,524 --> 00:16:24,067
那句話我根本聽不懂

349
00:16:25,194 --> 00:16:27,279
威爾頓小姐,我本來持保留態度

350
00:16:27,362 --> 00:16:31,575
但聽到妳的一席話後
我支持妳的決定

351
00:16:31,658 --> 00:16:33,994
萊索教練是不二人選

352
00:16:34,077 --> 00:16:35,370
他蠢得要命

353
00:16:35,454 --> 00:16:36,288
我知道

354
00:16:36,371 --> 00:16:37,664
妳說什麼?

355
00:16:37,748 --> 00:16:39,208
我希望他輸得難看

356
00:16:40,542 --> 00:16:45,297
這支球隊是我前夫畢生的摯愛

357
00:16:45,964 --> 00:16:49,134
泰德萊索會幫我徹底毀了它

358
00:16:50,844 --> 00:16:52,304
因為我想折磨魯伯

359
00:16:53,722 --> 00:16:57,351
我想讓魯伯痛不欲生

360
00:16:57,434 --> 00:17:01,563
一次又一次,不斷地重複

361
00:17:01,647 --> 00:17:03,065
就跟動圖一樣

362
00:17:03,941 --> 00:17:05,943
動圖就是那樣,對吧?

363
00:17:07,194 --> 00:17:08,403
不斷重複撥放

364
00:17:09,488 --> 00:17:11,448
對

365
00:17:11,949 --> 00:17:16,078
雖然有些人把那種圖像稱為動畫

366
00:17:18,288 --> 00:17:19,665
-謝啦,希金斯
-謝謝

367
00:17:23,961 --> 00:17:26,046
我得用那個詞來造句才記得住

368
00:17:26,128 --> 00:17:27,297
“教頭”是我

369
00:17:27,381 --> 00:17:28,966
-到外面的球場去
-對

370
00:17:29,049 --> 00:17:30,509
就是這裡的草地,看他們練習

371
00:17:30,592 --> 00:17:32,427
“訓練”,他們的練習叫做“訓練”

372
00:17:32,511 --> 00:17:34,513
光是這些方言就很難搞了

373
00:17:34,596 --> 00:17:37,140
但我總會弄懂的,勤能補拙

374
00:17:37,224 --> 00:17:38,141
這下好了

375
00:17:38,809 --> 00:17:39,810
那是我們的人

376
00:17:44,857 --> 00:17:47,025
我的老天爺

377
00:17:47,109 --> 00:17:49,653
盯好你負責看守的人!拜託!

378
00:17:50,404 --> 00:17:52,030
-他是誰?
-羅伊坎特

379
00:17:52,114 --> 00:17:55,033
他是隊長,典型的全能中場球員

380
00:17:55,117 --> 00:17:58,412
-表現明顯大不如前了
-但他是個傳奇

381
00:17:58,495 --> 00:18:00,122
帶領切爾西隊贏過英超冠軍

382
00:18:00,706 --> 00:18:02,666
-八年前
-對

383
00:18:04,376 --> 00:18:05,460
怎麼了?

384
00:18:06,253 --> 00:18:08,630
小子,這運動飲料真好喝

385
00:18:08,714 --> 00:18:09,840
教練,你喝喝看

386
00:18:17,306 --> 00:18:19,474
要得到他的青睞可不簡單

387
00:18:19,558 --> 00:18:21,059
內森,你讓我們刮目相看

388
00:18:22,311 --> 00:18:23,687
你還記得我的名字

389
00:18:25,606 --> 00:18:27,191
哇靠!你看到了嗎?

390
00:18:27,274 --> 00:18:30,277
那小子就像是被小黃瓜嚇到的貓咪

391
00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:32,404
-他是誰?
-傑米塔特

392
00:18:32,487 --> 00:18:34,072
球隊的頂尖球員

393
00:18:34,156 --> 00:18:35,157
走開

394
00:18:35,866 --> 00:18:37,993
-小內,他人怎麼樣?
-誰?傑米嗎?

395
00:18:38,827 --> 00:18:39,870
他很棒

396
00:18:41,205 --> 00:18:42,039
很懂足球

397
00:18:44,124 --> 00:18:45,459
那種人我認識

398
00:18:46,502 --> 00:18:49,213
山姆歐布桑野
他是奈及利亞足聯的右後衛

399
00:18:49,296 --> 00:18:51,048
非洲的那個奈及利亞?

400
00:18:52,132 --> 00:18:53,926
所以這些球員們來自世界各地?

401
00:18:54,009 --> 00:18:55,093
把球傳給我,小子

402
00:18:55,177 --> 00:18:56,595
他肯定是英國人,對吧?

403
00:18:56,678 --> 00:18:58,180
-威爾斯的人
-那是另一個國家嗎?

404
00:18:58,263 --> 00:19:01,099
-不算是
-這國家中還有幾個國家?

405
00:19:01,183 --> 00:19:02,351
-四個
-四個

406
00:19:03,268 --> 00:19:05,229
跟目前的美國有點像

407
00:19:05,854 --> 00:19:06,855
對

408
00:19:21,203 --> 00:19:22,829
我愛更衣室

409
00:19:23,705 --> 00:19:25,332
聞起來潛力十足

410
00:19:26,583 --> 00:19:28,710
是止汗劑的味道嗎?

411
00:19:28,794 --> 00:19:30,337
沒錯,教練

412
00:19:30,420 --> 00:19:32,256
不過他們這裡好像不叫止汗劑

413
00:19:41,473 --> 00:19:42,474
你看

414
00:19:43,809 --> 00:19:44,852
山貓牌噴霧

415
00:19:45,644 --> 00:19:47,145
我最愛的叢林大貓

416
00:19:52,150 --> 00:19:54,319
過來讓我看看你的臉

417
00:19:54,403 --> 00:19:55,487
謝啦

418
00:20:05,372 --> 00:20:06,748
媽呀

419
00:20:06,832 --> 00:20:08,208
那麼冷酷的眼神

420
00:20:08,292 --> 00:20:10,294
就像跟羅伊謝德正面對決時一樣

421
00:20:10,377 --> 00:20:12,337
-《大白鯊》嗎?
-不是,《爵士春秋》

422
00:20:12,421 --> 00:20:14,298
我來說句話,大家好

423
00:20:14,381 --> 00:20:16,175
你們繼續忙

424
00:20:16,258 --> 00:20:18,635
我叫泰德萊索,這是比德教練

425
00:20:18,719 --> 00:20:20,679
我知道我們還沒正式開始

426
00:20:20,762 --> 00:20:23,098
但我們想過來打聲招呼

427
00:20:23,182 --> 00:20:25,058
我們相當期待

428
00:20:25,142 --> 00:20:26,268
敲敲門

429
00:20:26,351 --> 00:20:28,312
大家都有穿衣服吧?

430
00:20:30,314 --> 00:20:32,649
拜託,真沒意思

431
00:20:33,984 --> 00:20:36,945
糟糕,我打擾你們了嗎?

432
00:20:37,029 --> 00:20:39,573
沒有,沒關係,有事嗎?

433
00:20:39,656 --> 00:20:41,366
沒事,我來接他

434
00:20:41,450 --> 00:20:42,868
對,抱歉,教練

435
00:20:42,951 --> 00:20:45,120
她幫我約好了要去除毛

436
00:20:46,371 --> 00:20:48,123
為了符合粉絲期待

437
00:20:48,207 --> 00:20:50,834
得分了就得脫上衣

438
00:20:50,918 --> 00:20:52,503
寶貝

439
00:20:53,879 --> 00:20:55,088
如果你需要,我可以留下來

440
00:20:56,381 --> 00:20:57,382
不用,沒關係

441
00:20:57,466 --> 00:20:58,884
好,再見

442
00:20:58,967 --> 00:21:00,302
-好
-再見

443
00:21:00,385 --> 00:21:01,345
好,女士優先

444
00:21:01,428 --> 00:21:03,222
你現在想當紳士了?

445
00:21:03,305 --> 00:21:05,057
不是,我是想看妳的屁股

446
00:21:06,391 --> 00:21:07,684
去你的

447
00:21:07,768 --> 00:21:10,354
你們只能乾過癮

448
00:21:16,652 --> 00:21:19,446
總之,謝謝你們願意抽空

449
00:21:42,719 --> 00:21:44,179
(爸爸加油)

450
00:21:53,397 --> 00:21:56,191
(成功金字塔)

451
00:22:03,448 --> 00:22:05,617
教練,別睡了

452
00:22:06,994 --> 00:22:09,204
拜託,別當瞌睡糾察隊了

453
00:22:12,291 --> 00:22:14,168
羅伊!羅伊!

454
00:22:15,878 --> 00:22:17,629
有什麼事嗎?

455
00:22:17,713 --> 00:22:19,923
你今天在場上的樣子很有意思

456
00:22:20,007 --> 00:22:22,259
隊員們都很聽你的

457
00:22:22,342 --> 00:22:24,678
不過我並不意外
因為你是足壇老馬了

458
00:22:25,304 --> 00:22:26,346
謝謝

459
00:22:28,056 --> 00:22:31,435
我從沒想過我會淪落到
被麥當勞叔叔指導

460
00:22:38,358 --> 00:22:40,444
他那樣叫你,你沒意見嗎?

461
00:22:40,527 --> 00:22:41,945
他應該不是在說我

462
00:22:42,905 --> 00:22:45,490
他現在在氣頭上,以後會改變想法的

463
00:22:46,241 --> 00:22:48,744
他會氣死的

464
00:22:48,827 --> 00:22:50,078
你有膠布嗎?

465
00:23:05,219 --> 00:23:06,803
(相信)

466
00:23:10,682 --> 00:23:11,683
(塔特)

467
00:23:25,155 --> 00:23:26,114
你在裡面幹嘛?

468
00:23:27,407 --> 00:23:29,409
靠,對不起,你沒事吧?

469
00:23:29,493 --> 00:23:30,994
沒事,我沒事

470
00:23:31,078 --> 00:23:32,246
我不該笑的

471
00:23:32,329 --> 00:23:33,872
沒關係

472
00:23:33,956 --> 00:23:37,918
我來幫更衣室做些調整佈置

473
00:23:38,001 --> 00:23:39,503
很棒

474
00:23:39,586 --> 00:23:43,048
好像貼歪了

475
00:23:44,424 --> 00:23:46,677
我還以為房間是歪的

476
00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:48,095
但我想妳說得沒錯

477
00:23:49,888 --> 00:23:51,682
妳來這裡幹嘛?傑米呢?

478
00:23:51,765 --> 00:23:53,267
他的手機在置物櫃裡

479
00:23:53,350 --> 00:23:54,935
他怎麼不自己過來拿?

480
00:23:55,018 --> 00:23:57,437
他還在除毛,他體毛多得嚇人

481
00:23:57,521 --> 00:23:59,481
才剛除完馬上又長出來

482
00:24:00,107 --> 00:24:01,942
-太誇張了
-方便嗎?

483
00:24:02,025 --> 00:24:03,777
-方便,自己拿
-謝謝

484
00:24:11,702 --> 00:24:13,412
那邊低一點

485
00:24:13,495 --> 00:24:14,496
好

486
00:24:14,580 --> 00:24:15,747
再下去一點

487
00:24:16,665 --> 00:24:17,666
再一點點

488
00:24:17,749 --> 00:24:19,334
好了,這樣很棒

489
00:24:19,418 --> 00:24:21,920
好,團結力量大

490
00:24:22,963 --> 00:24:24,548
-好樣的
-老派動作

491
00:24:24,631 --> 00:24:27,092
-我叫綺莉
-我是泰德萊索

492
00:24:27,176 --> 00:24:29,303
我知道,你現在在推特上很紅

493
00:24:29,386 --> 00:24:30,554
真不賴

494
00:24:31,221 --> 00:24:32,931
-你有在用推特嗎?
-沒有

495
00:24:33,015 --> 00:24:34,433
但我的節奏口技還可以

496
00:24:43,817 --> 00:24:46,820
我都不知道該如何看待
表演節奏口技的大叔

497
00:24:46,904 --> 00:24:48,864
那妳最好別遇到比茲馬基

498
00:24:50,449 --> 00:24:51,742
好吧

499
00:24:51,825 --> 00:24:54,703
要是你好奇開始上推特的話

500
00:24:54,786 --> 00:24:56,330
別搜尋瑞奇蒙這個關鍵字

501
00:24:56,413 --> 00:24:59,458
-好
-或是北七跟蠢貨

502
00:25:00,083 --> 00:25:01,752
我記住了

503
00:25:02,753 --> 00:25:04,838
歡迎來英國

504
00:25:12,846 --> 00:25:14,806
謝謝,謝謝你願意載我們一程

505
00:25:14,890 --> 00:25:15,849
不客氣

506
00:25:15,933 --> 00:25:17,559
小內,這是你的車?

507
00:25:17,643 --> 00:25:19,520
當然不是,我開不起

508
00:25:19,603 --> 00:25:21,104
綠色這臺是我的

509
00:25:21,188 --> 00:25:23,565
好,把東西放進去

510
00:25:23,649 --> 00:25:24,650
來吧

511
00:25:24,733 --> 00:25:27,361
泰德,已經開始熬夜工作了

512
00:25:27,444 --> 00:25:28,654
俗話說

513
00:25:28,737 --> 00:25:31,323
愛拚才會贏,對吧?

514
00:25:32,199 --> 00:25:33,200
放斜的

515
00:25:33,283 --> 00:25:35,244
抱歉,泰德,我們應該幫你叫輛車的

516
00:25:35,327 --> 00:25:36,662
沒關係

517
00:25:36,745 --> 00:25:37,829
各位晚安

518
00:25:41,375 --> 00:25:42,376
你是怎麼搞的?

519
00:25:42,459 --> 00:25:44,586
我今天吃的東西

520
00:25:45,546 --> 00:25:47,464
好像都卡在這裡

521
00:25:49,508 --> 00:25:50,759
我可以的

522
00:25:52,803 --> 00:25:53,804
好了

523
00:25:53,887 --> 00:25:57,182
他感覺人很好
我不知道下不下得了手

524
00:25:59,142 --> 00:26:00,394
我需要新任球隊營運長

525
00:26:00,477 --> 00:26:04,857
全力的支持才能成功

526
00:26:05,858 --> 00:26:08,277
這應該算是個升遷機會
薪水也會三級跳

527
00:26:08,360 --> 00:26:10,863
對你跟你家人都有幫助

528
00:26:13,407 --> 00:26:15,534
你們看,這部車有隱形方向盤

529
00:26:17,703 --> 00:26:18,662
開玩笑的

530
00:26:18,745 --> 00:26:20,455
按喇叭的是我兄弟小內

531
00:26:20,539 --> 00:26:23,166
泰德萊索,你這活寶

532
00:26:23,250 --> 00:26:25,085
妳也是

533
00:26:29,756 --> 00:26:30,757
怎麼樣?

534
00:26:32,092 --> 00:26:33,302
我接受

535
00:26:33,385 --> 00:26:34,511
很好

536
00:26:40,475 --> 00:26:42,144
希金斯

537
00:26:42,227 --> 00:26:45,022
我知道這個小插曲中有些部分

538
00:26:45,105 --> 00:26:46,398
會讓你有點心煩

539
00:26:46,481 --> 00:26:48,734
但我想應該不會比過去幾年

540
00:26:48,817 --> 00:26:51,820
你幫魯伯背著我偷帶女人難

541
00:27:07,169 --> 00:27:08,295
教練,你住這間

542
00:27:09,338 --> 00:27:11,548
好,你沒問題吧?

543
00:27:11,632 --> 00:27:13,217
-我可以,你呢?
-我可以

544
00:27:13,300 --> 00:27:14,468
-教練晚安
-晚安,教練

545
00:27:14,551 --> 00:27:16,011
我差點忘了

546
00:27:17,304 --> 00:27:18,805
這是什麼?

547
00:27:18,889 --> 00:27:20,557
-觸界
-早點睡,教練

548
00:27:20,641 --> 00:27:21,850
好

549
00:27:32,861 --> 00:27:35,822
(歡迎提姆萊索教練)

550
00:28:09,106 --> 00:28:11,567
喂,男子漢,你好嗎?
今天學校怎麼樣?

551
00:28:12,943 --> 00:28:13,861
對

552
00:28:13,944 --> 00:28:15,529
我忘了

553
00:28:15,612 --> 00:28:17,865
我今天犯傻了

554
00:28:18,866 --> 00:28:20,784
對,沒錯

555
00:28:22,369 --> 00:28:24,788
沒關係,我只是想聽聽你的聲音

556
00:28:24,872 --> 00:28:26,415
好,你去忙吧

557
00:28:26,498 --> 00:28:28,083
那個,你媽在嗎?

558
00:28:28,166 --> 00:28:30,252
好,謝啦,男子漢

559
00:28:30,335 --> 00:28:31,420
我很想你

560
00:28:34,047 --> 00:28:35,549
我也愛你

561
00:28:36,258 --> 00:28:37,259
好

562
00:28:46,768 --> 00:28:48,103
妳還好嗎?

563
00:28:48,770 --> 00:28:51,440
對,目前一切都還不錯

564
00:28:52,858 --> 00:28:55,194
我得花一些時間適應

565
00:28:55,277 --> 00:28:57,946
一旦適應了,應該就沒問題了

566
00:28:58,864 --> 00:29:01,408
對,那倒是真的

567
00:29:02,326 --> 00:29:04,995
其實還滿好的

568
00:29:06,163 --> 00:29:08,832
而且我住的這裡環境不錯

569
00:29:08,916 --> 00:29:09,917
對

570
00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:12,377
對,妳跟那小子得過來一趟

571
00:29:12,461 --> 00:29:13,629
過來這裡看看

572
00:29:18,634 --> 00:29:19,927
什麼?我說什麼?

573
00:29:23,472 --> 00:29:26,141
但我這麼做是給妳一點空間

574
00:29:27,768 --> 00:29:28,769
對

575
00:29:28,852 --> 00:29:30,354
對,也給我自己空間

576
00:29:32,648 --> 00:29:33,690
好

577
00:29:34,441 --> 00:29:36,443
不,沒事,對

578
00:29:36,527 --> 00:29:37,778
那個,蜜雪兒

579
00:29:39,404 --> 00:29:40,405
我愛妳

580
00:29:44,409 --> 00:29:46,370
沒關係,妳不用回答

581
00:29:47,621 --> 00:29:49,623
真的

582
00:29:52,501 --> 00:29:53,585
好

583
00:29:55,963 --> 00:29:57,756
好,晚安

584
00:30:15,274 --> 00:30:17,943
慘了,我睡不著

585
00:30:46,847 --> 00:30:48,849
字幕翻譯:Wanyin Tsai