1
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(全麥片)

2
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-早安教練
-教練早

3
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要一起去吃早餐嗎?

4
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不用了,我剛吃了一條麥片,超飽的

5
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但我可以去喝杯咖啡

6
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好

7
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知道我今天的感覺嗎?

8
00:00:40,165 --> 00:00:42,835
-感覺就像開學第一天
-開學第一天,對

9
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滿近的

10
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-教練,那你呢?感覺怎麼樣?
-有點緊張

11
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那還用說
沒有所謂的“最後一天恐懼症”

12
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要看右邊

13
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對,哪天我會記得的

14
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憂鬱藍調

15
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-我可以告訴你
-看看這小子

16
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憂鬱藍調,我可以告訴你

17
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女生攻不破我的防守

18
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有時解決男生的最佳方式
就是直攻他胯下,對吧?

19
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-教練,我們得走了
-好

20
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(搜尋魯柏曼尼)

21
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有人在嗎?

22
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-早安,萊索教練
-看看我們

23
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都是愛吃蟲的早起鳥兒,對吧?

24
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剛好妳也在,我帶了點東西要給妳

25
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對,餅乾

26
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你們這裡稱為脆餅,對吧?

27
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但我不建議沾肉汁來配這種餅乾

28
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泰德,我不用...

29
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來嘛,妳先看看

30
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-看起來很好吃
-沒錯吧?

31
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來吧,吃吃看

32
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沒錯,好好享用

33
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哇靠

34
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你在哪裡買的?

35
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妳喜歡就好

36
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我可以每天早上都帶這個來給妳

37
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就叫“老闆脆餅時間”吧

38
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沒這個必要

39
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那好,就當這是我們第一次意見不合

40
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其實算是第二次,茶超難喝的

41
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根本就是垃圾水
我真搞不懂你們為什麼那麼愛喝

42
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總之,我們得先互相了解

43
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-才能成功搭檔
-泰德...

44
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先從最簡單的開始

45
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先從第一場演唱會
還有最棒的演唱會開始

46
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妳先說吧,快點

47
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辣妹合唱團,還是辣妹合唱團

48
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兩者的答案都一樣?
我喜歡,換我了,第一場演唱會

49
00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:46,416
拜託,當然是《賭徒》的歌手
肯尼羅傑斯先生

50
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抱歉

51
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泰德...

52
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(萊索教練)

53
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別唱了,泰德,抱歉

54
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我今天早上沒空跟你玩“老闆脆餅時間”

55
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以後也不會有空

56
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-我聽得很清楚,老闆
-清楚就好

57
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好吧

58
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你明天還是會帶脆餅過來吧?

59
00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:14,278
我可不會輕易下注

60
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除非妳想贏一大筆錢

61
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小樹,跟我擊個掌

62
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(泰德拉索:錯棚教練趣事多)

63
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記得我們第一天當威奇塔州立大學教練時
你跟我說的話嗎?

64
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把馬尾剪掉?

65
00:03:58,322 --> 00:04:00,324
放輕鬆,他們都只是孩子

66
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這些傢伙才不是孩子

67
00:04:05,787 --> 00:04:09,291
看看以薩克,他就像是穿釘鞋的羅丹雕像

68
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是球靴

69
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他們把釘鞋稱作球靴

70
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你不是說他們的後車廂也叫靴子?

71
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那也叫靴子

72
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等等,要是我被炒魷魚了

73
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把釘鞋放到我的後車廂裡

74
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你被解雇了,只能把球靴放到後車廂裡

75
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太正點了

76
00:04:27,184 --> 00:04:30,062
好,各位,來玩一下七人鬥牛吧

77
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我們把這訓練稱為“大法師”

78
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因為重點是控制持球

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好,開始!

80
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靠!

81
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在這裡供束花吧
因為這裡是山姆的長眠地

82
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太可憐了

83
00:04:57,881 --> 00:04:59,550
走開,你這小渾球

84
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好,阿公,把你的假髮戴好

85
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-羅伊,謝啦
-不客氣

86
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山姆,過來一下

87
00:05:08,767 --> 00:05:09,768
教練,對不起

88
00:05:09,852 --> 00:05:11,854
你知道世上最快樂的動物是什麼嗎?

89
00:05:12,938 --> 00:05:14,690
是金魚

90
00:05:14,773 --> 00:05:16,024
知道為什麼嗎?

91
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-不知道
-因為牠們只有十秒的記憶

92
00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:22,447
山姆,當隻金魚吧

93
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你可以的,去吧

94
00:05:32,916 --> 00:05:35,210
-小內
-叫我嗎?

95
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對,這裡又沒有別的小內

96
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我得確認你就是那個小內,知道嗎?

97
00:05:39,548 --> 00:05:41,842
我有事想問你,山姆怎麼了?

98
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他似乎有點垂頭喪氣的

99
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他從奈及利亞過來之後
表現就一直不盡理想

100
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是啊,第一次離家肯定不好過

101
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我們得幫助他打起精神來

102
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就算笑話很冷,你還是會笑,對吧?

103
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我總是不太確定到底是不是笑話

104
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對,在這時代是很難判斷,對吧?

105
00:06:02,112 --> 00:06:03,947
萊索加油!

106
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萊索加油!萊索加油!

107
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希金斯

108
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泰德萊索來我的辦公室

109
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問我:“妳看過的第一場演唱會?”

110
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-喬治男孩
-別鬼扯了,小矮人

111
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他希望我們每早都見面

112
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跟我聊天,進一步認識我

113
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他真大膽!

114
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我是說他真是個沒完沒了的好人

115
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他指導的球員們似乎都很愛戴他

116
00:06:27,638 --> 00:06:29,640
這點可能會把事情搞砸

117
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你們好啊

118
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擊個掌吧

119
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-妳好,威爾頓小姐
-妳好,威爾頓小姐

120
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希金斯,你知道哪位球員
在更衣室裡的影響力最大嗎?

121
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不知道

122
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很好,去幫我找出答案來

123
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找出萊索那脆餅是去哪裡買的?

124
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脆餅們,小心了
名偵探希金斯來了

125
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各位請注意

126
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聽好了

127
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謝啦,教練

128
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這週六對水晶宮比賽

129
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教練,有什麼要交代的嗎?

130
00:07:12,558 --> 00:07:15,477
-他們的速度很快
-好,還有其他的嗎?

131
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速度很快

132
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好,你們都聽到了

133
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你們在今年稍早的比賽中
把他們修理得很慘

134
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所以我跟教練不會亂搞你們的比賽策略

135
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不過...

136
00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:28,115
我們要做些微調,先從更衣室這裡開始

137
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網路讓我們學到了

138
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有時匿名發表意見比較容易

139
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對吧?所以我請小內
幫我們做了一個經典的意見箱

140
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你們看

141
00:07:39,209 --> 00:07:42,171
對,我跟我姪女一起做的
她喜歡做勞作

142
00:07:42,254 --> 00:07:44,256
對,我喜歡稍微了解一下你的個人生活

143
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真可愛

144
00:07:45,424 --> 00:07:47,801
所以要是你們有不滿的意見

145
00:07:47,885 --> 00:07:49,303
就寫下來投到這箱子裡

146
00:07:50,095 --> 00:07:52,890
例如不喜歡浴巾的顏色

147
00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:55,184
或是不喜歡販賣機裡的食物

148
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懂了嗎?

149
00:07:58,353 --> 00:08:00,772
好,明天見

150
00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:04,651
我們的表現平平
四場比賽輸了三場

151
00:08:04,735 --> 00:08:07,988
你卻想知道更衣室這裡的點心好不好吃?

152
00:08:08,071 --> 00:08:09,281
好吃嗎?

153
00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:10,991
我的天哪

154
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不好吃

155
00:08:30,886 --> 00:08:32,638
泰德,你還真會等

156
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很高興妳不趕時間

157
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正式上班的第一天怎麼樣?

158
00:08:38,477 --> 00:08:39,477
我不太確定

159
00:08:39,561 --> 00:08:42,063
你們這裡最小的測量單位是什麼

160
00:08:42,147 --> 00:08:44,358
但那差不多是我目前的進度

161
00:08:44,441 --> 00:08:46,527
但你似乎不氣餒

162
00:08:50,781 --> 00:08:52,074
進場的氣勢十足

163
00:08:54,201 --> 00:08:56,745
你想當什麼?獅子還是貓熊?

164
00:08:56,828 --> 00:08:58,121
我沒時間在這裡耗

165
00:08:58,830 --> 00:09:00,123
好吧

166
00:09:00,207 --> 00:09:01,708
-泰德你呢?
-我選貓熊

167
00:09:02,292 --> 00:09:06,505
你瘋了嗎?貓熊又胖又懶
而且毛還是尿黃色的

168
00:09:06,588 --> 00:09:10,300
獅子雄壯威武,而且還是叢林之王

169
00:09:10,384 --> 00:09:12,553
去跟大象說吧,我可以選大象嗎?

170
00:09:12,636 --> 00:09:13,679
獅子還是貓熊?

171
00:09:13,762 --> 00:09:14,930
-貓熊
-獅子

172
00:09:15,013 --> 00:09:17,182
-什麼動物全身都是黑白紅三色?
-我不知道,是什麼?

173
00:09:17,266 --> 00:09:21,186
靠近獅子的貓熊,所以答案是獅子

174
00:09:22,646 --> 00:09:23,814
好吧

175
00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:26,275
芮貝卡是個高大嚇人的女人

176
00:09:26,358 --> 00:09:29,152
她跟我對看時,我都冒汗了

177
00:09:29,236 --> 00:09:32,656
她是有些難靠近,但妳得突破她的心防

178
00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:33,740
寶貝

179
00:09:36,368 --> 00:09:37,870
鑰匙

180
00:09:37,953 --> 00:09:40,581
傑米,你想當獅子還是貓熊?

181
00:09:41,373 --> 00:09:43,041
教練,我就是我

182
00:09:43,125 --> 00:09:44,543
我幹嘛想當其他東西?

183
00:09:44,626 --> 00:09:47,880
你可能不知道那種心理狀態有多健康

184
00:09:49,715 --> 00:09:50,716
再見

185
00:09:51,675 --> 00:09:52,843
《夜間法庭》上也會這麼說

186
00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:54,178
哇

187
00:09:54,261 --> 00:09:55,888
-他是獅子
-絕對是獅子

188
00:09:55,971 --> 00:09:58,640
妳知道貓熊會吃跟體重等重的竹子量嗎?
我兒子告訴我的

189
00:09:58,724 --> 00:10:00,267
-太誇張了
-我是說真的

190
00:10:00,350 --> 00:10:01,810
貓熊可以

191
00:10:01,894 --> 00:10:03,854
我不知道機率有多頻繁

192
00:10:05,564 --> 00:10:07,691
山姆離開奈及利亞後
表現就每況愈下

193
00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:09,568
或許英超對他來說太沉重了

194
00:10:09,651 --> 00:10:11,987
不是,他只是還在適應當中

195
00:10:12,070 --> 00:10:15,199
-禮拜六是他的20歲生日
-有了,慶生

196
00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:16,617
我們幫他慶祝一下

197
00:10:16,700 --> 00:10:18,952
鼓勵他好好振作,對吧?

198
00:10:19,036 --> 00:10:20,037
那個

199
00:10:24,583 --> 00:10:25,792
來看看有什麼

200
00:10:25,876 --> 00:10:26,877
“北七”

201
00:10:27,669 --> 00:10:30,881
看看還有什麼其他的
“北七快滾”

202
00:10:33,258 --> 00:10:34,718
“祝你吃大麥克噎死”

203
00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:37,304
-好險這些都是匿名的
-不是,羅伊在上面簽了名

204
00:10:37,387 --> 00:10:38,388
-羅伊
-這個不錯

205
00:10:38,472 --> 00:10:41,391
“蓮蓬頭水壓很爛”,記起來

206
00:10:42,851 --> 00:10:45,103
又是“北七”

207
00:10:45,771 --> 00:10:47,981
那個詞我不會大聲說出口

208
00:10:48,857 --> 00:10:49,942
又是“北七”

209
00:10:50,025 --> 00:10:52,945
你不能讓他們叫你北七,那樣很不妙

210
00:10:53,362 --> 00:10:54,363
什麼是北七?

211
00:10:56,365 --> 00:10:58,450
那對我這種視覺型學習者很有幫助
謝謝

212
00:10:59,284 --> 00:11:00,285
不客氣

213
00:11:01,495 --> 00:11:02,829
好,我想到了一個

214
00:11:03,539 --> 00:11:06,834
要是我跟一隻神氣貓咪合力

215
00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:10,212
一邊為煙花女郎彈奏小吉他

216
00:11:10,295 --> 00:11:12,714
一邊讀艾利斯哈利的偉大作品呢?

217
00:11:12,798 --> 00:11:14,466
那就等於是跟鞋貓劍客同謀

218
00:11:14,550 --> 00:11:16,844
一邊為娼妓們彈奏詩琴
一邊閱讀《根》

219
00:11:16,927 --> 00:11:19,346
不是,是《麥爾坎X自傳》
被我耍到了

220
00:11:19,429 --> 00:11:20,597
好吧

221
00:11:20,681 --> 00:11:23,392
來了,幫我拿一下啤酒

222
00:11:23,475 --> 00:11:26,645
好,小妞,讓我看看妳的本事
來吧,秀出妳的絕招

223
00:11:27,145 --> 00:11:28,230
太扯了

224
00:11:29,481 --> 00:11:30,315
你看到了嗎?

225
00:11:30,399 --> 00:11:32,025
她跟袋獾一樣把你耍得團團轉

226
00:11:32,109 --> 00:11:34,653
對,但是她沒有那種惱人的...

227
00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:43,120
又錯了

228
00:11:44,621 --> 00:11:46,707
希金斯,有那麼難嗎?

229
00:11:46,790 --> 00:11:48,417
現在幾點了?

230
00:11:48,500 --> 00:11:50,752
“老闆脆餅時間”到了

231
00:11:51,670 --> 00:11:53,422
希金斯也在

232
00:11:53,964 --> 00:11:55,048
三個人有點擠

233
00:11:55,132 --> 00:11:57,676
兄弟,我一點都不在意這種三人行

234
00:11:58,719 --> 00:12:01,013
老闆,請享用

235
00:12:01,096 --> 00:12:02,723
來補充一下昨天遺漏的細節吧

236
00:12:02,806 --> 00:12:04,516
第一場演唱會是肯尼羅傑斯,對吧?

237
00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:07,728
最棒的演唱會是
1995年霍德音樂節上的野獸男孩

238
00:12:07,811 --> 00:12:09,104
這故事很精彩

239
00:12:09,188 --> 00:12:11,023
你們這裡知道辛普森案嗎?

240
00:12:11,106 --> 00:12:14,443
泰德,拜託,你不能隨時想到
就來我這裡轉轉

241
00:12:14,526 --> 00:12:16,987
但要是我帶了伴手禮來呢?

242
00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:18,530
或是我可以用月球漫步進來

243
00:12:18,614 --> 00:12:21,283
撇開最近的頭條不談
這種舞步還是挺好玩的

244
00:12:21,366 --> 00:12:24,077
-泰德
-妳得用我的觀點來看,好嗎?

245
00:12:24,161 --> 00:12:26,705
這棟樓裡的每個人
都是瑞奇蒙足球俱樂部的一分子

246
00:12:26,788 --> 00:12:28,248
球隊得發揮凝聚力

247
00:12:28,332 --> 00:12:30,125
希金斯今天都要跟我共進午餐了

248
00:12:30,209 --> 00:12:32,377
對,在我辦公室裡吃沙拉

249
00:12:32,461 --> 00:12:33,795
好,老闆,晚點見

250
00:12:33,879 --> 00:12:35,631
希金斯,午餐時間見

251
00:12:35,714 --> 00:12:37,007
晚點一起吃凱薩沙拉

252
00:12:40,052 --> 00:12:42,387
沒錯

253
00:12:44,806 --> 00:12:46,725
我真受不了他

254
00:12:49,770 --> 00:12:51,021
媽呀,這太糟了

255
00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:53,398
這玩意的前列腺可能有問題

256
00:12:54,066 --> 00:12:54,900
天哪

257
00:12:56,818 --> 00:12:58,070
好

258
00:12:58,153 --> 00:13:00,072
山姆,你得到樓上一下

259
00:13:00,155 --> 00:13:01,990
希金斯有話跟你說

260
00:13:02,074 --> 00:13:03,492
快去,動作快

261
00:13:05,953 --> 00:13:07,871
對,他走了

262
00:13:07,955 --> 00:13:10,541
把門關上,各位聽好了

263
00:13:10,624 --> 00:13:12,417
禮拜六是山姆生日

264
00:13:12,501 --> 00:13:14,920
所以我想我們可以湊點錢
買個禮物給他

265
00:13:15,003 --> 00:13:16,338
買個不錯的禮物之類的,好嗎?

266
00:13:16,421 --> 00:13:19,508
現在小內端來了另一個可愛的箱子

267
00:13:19,591 --> 00:13:21,426
你們看,它上面還有臉

268
00:13:21,510 --> 00:13:23,971
-是男生的他
-抱歉,他

269
00:13:24,054 --> 00:13:26,139
-把錢放進他嘴巴裡
-好,都聽到了嗎?

270
00:13:26,223 --> 00:13:29,560
把錢放進他嘴巴裡,懂了嗎?好

271
00:13:29,643 --> 00:13:30,811
小內,交給你了

272
00:13:31,562 --> 00:13:32,563
幫他一把,好嗎?

273
00:13:32,646 --> 00:13:35,941
好,很好,謝啦,科林

274
00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:41,780
把錢放進他嘴巴裡

275
00:13:43,907 --> 00:13:45,284
給你吃好吃的

276
00:13:48,287 --> 00:13:51,290
薄荷口味,幫錢除臭

277
00:13:51,373 --> 00:13:53,625
謝啦,傑米,你想得真周到

278
00:13:56,253 --> 00:13:57,963
傑米,過來一下

279
00:13:58,046 --> 00:14:01,383
我們得聊聊
你剛剛把口香糖放進箱子裡?

280
00:14:01,466 --> 00:14:03,385
-對
-你為什麼要那麼做?

281
00:14:03,468 --> 00:14:05,554
-教練對不起
-小內只是想幫我們

282
00:14:05,637 --> 00:14:08,140
-他也是球隊的一分子,對吧?
-是啊,教練,沒錯

283
00:14:08,223 --> 00:14:09,892
我認為球隊就像樂團

284
00:14:09,975 --> 00:14:12,811
-說得好
-如果我們是滾石合唱團的話

285
00:14:13,395 --> 00:14:15,856
那我就是主唱米克傑格

286
00:14:15,939 --> 00:14:17,149
-沒錯
-我的舞步最精彩

287
00:14:17,232 --> 00:14:19,234
對,你腰很細,全身都是舞蹈細胞

288
00:14:19,318 --> 00:14:21,695
羅依就是基思理查茲

289
00:14:21,778 --> 00:14:24,072
因為他老到大家都很訝異
他怎麼還沒掛

290
00:14:24,156 --> 00:14:25,574
你在說什麼鬼?

291
00:14:25,657 --> 00:14:27,326
羅伊老兄,要是你想洗澡的話

292
00:14:27,409 --> 00:14:29,536
應該先把毛衣脫掉

293
00:14:35,876 --> 00:14:38,045
我只是亂開一下玩笑,對

294
00:14:38,128 --> 00:14:39,880
我保證我會改進

295
00:14:39,963 --> 00:14:41,882
聽你這麼說我就放心了

296
00:14:48,931 --> 00:14:50,140
馬克思,請說

297
00:14:50,224 --> 00:14:52,643
你這週末有信心
拿下對決水晶宮的比賽嗎?

298
00:14:52,726 --> 00:14:55,938
我是覺得用水晶蓋成的宮殿
應該挺脆弱的

299
00:14:56,855 --> 00:14:58,106
-教練
-教練

300
00:14:59,316 --> 00:15:01,401
-請說
-我是《獨立報》的特倫特克林

301
00:15:01,485 --> 00:15:03,028
特倫特,我記得你

302
00:15:03,111 --> 00:15:06,281
我只是好奇
可以請你解釋一下越位規則嗎?

303
00:15:07,574 --> 00:15:10,077
特倫特,我的解釋跟美國最高法院

304
00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:13,247
在1964年定義色情作品一樣

305
00:15:13,330 --> 00:15:15,499
這不好解釋,但你一看就知道

306
00:15:17,251 --> 00:15:20,629
-好,這邊這位先生
-《太陽報》的爾尼勞茲

307
00:15:20,712 --> 00:15:21,922
謝謝

308
00:15:22,005 --> 00:15:23,924
我有問題要問曼尼小姐

309
00:15:24,007 --> 00:15:27,219
-我姓威爾頓
-是啊,對不起

310
00:15:27,302 --> 00:15:29,721
你覺得魯柏的新女友怎麼樣?

311
00:15:30,389 --> 00:15:33,642
那個,我跟魯柏已經分開了

312
00:15:34,268 --> 00:15:37,646
他可以隨便跟任何名模演員交往

313
00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:42,025
不,今天現身的女子在你們離婚前

314
00:15:42,109 --> 00:15:43,110
就已經跟魯柏交往了

315
00:15:44,236 --> 00:15:46,697
她說他們已經交往五年了

316
00:15:46,780 --> 00:15:50,325
戀情持續至今

317
00:15:54,955 --> 00:15:56,123
是喔

318
00:15:57,749 --> 00:16:00,252
我還一直以為男人無法身兼多職

319
00:16:02,296 --> 00:16:04,006
提問時間結束了

320
00:16:04,089 --> 00:16:05,465
非常謝謝你們

321
00:16:05,549 --> 00:16:06,550
教練!

322
00:16:10,512 --> 00:16:11,430
(另結新歡)

323
00:16:11,513 --> 00:16:12,890
(魯柏曼尼被直擊
與年輕女星同遊切爾西)

324
00:16:13,765 --> 00:16:15,767
妳還好吧?

325
00:16:15,851 --> 00:16:17,895
我只是想過來確保妳沒事

326
00:16:17,978 --> 00:16:19,563
剛剛的情況肯定很難受

327
00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:21,815
我早就知道媒體會窮追猛打了

328
00:16:21,899 --> 00:16:22,900
是啊

329
00:16:23,775 --> 00:16:27,362
你需要有人幫你寄包裹嗎?你可別找我

330
00:16:28,405 --> 00:16:31,491
不是,這是我兒子寄給我的補給包

331
00:16:32,576 --> 00:16:35,329
或許裡面有什麼東西能讓妳好過些

332
00:16:35,412 --> 00:16:37,706
有一小包玩具兵

333
00:16:38,457 --> 00:16:39,750
卡片上面說

334
00:16:39,833 --> 00:16:42,544
我得把玩具兵們放在公寓裡
他們會保護我

335
00:16:46,298 --> 00:16:47,883
-手做的笛子
-太棒了

336
00:16:47,966 --> 00:16:50,469
只有一個,不能給妳

337
00:16:50,552 --> 00:16:51,970
有了

338
00:16:52,804 --> 00:16:53,805
看看這個

339
00:16:53,889 --> 00:16:57,768
這是堪薩斯市最棒的烤肉醬

340
00:16:57,851 --> 00:17:00,687
也可以算是最棒的烤肉醬

341
00:17:02,773 --> 00:17:03,774
太棒了!

342
00:17:03,857 --> 00:17:06,609
有什麼家鄉味能讓妳有像家一般

343
00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:07,819
舒適溫馨的感覺嗎?

344
00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:11,198
沒有

345
00:17:13,742 --> 00:17:15,327
-泰德,你還有事嗎?
-沒有

346
00:17:15,410 --> 00:17:19,039
其實我來這裡主要是因為我搞不太懂

347
00:17:19,122 --> 00:17:21,290
要怎麼應付傑米塔特

348
00:17:21,375 --> 00:17:23,961
想過來看看妳有沒有什麼建議

349
00:17:24,044 --> 00:17:25,671
抱歉,我可能...

350
00:17:27,381 --> 00:17:29,716
妳眼睛亮了一下
妳有點子,對吧?快說

351
00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:31,927
我認為你應該跟綺莉談談

352
00:17:32,010 --> 00:17:35,347
我是說你跟她很熟
她是最了解傑米的人

353
00:17:35,430 --> 00:17:37,599
難怪妳會當老闆

354
00:17:37,683 --> 00:17:39,893
好主意,我看這樣吧

355
00:17:39,977 --> 00:17:43,063
我給妳一個這種臭小子
我選個好的給妳

356
00:17:43,146 --> 00:17:46,066
好,這個可以當妳的防衛前線

357
00:17:46,149 --> 00:17:48,861
以免爾尼勞茲那火雞又來找妳麻煩

358
00:17:48,944 --> 00:17:51,613
妳看,他會幫妳守門

359
00:17:52,114 --> 00:17:54,199
好,謝啦,老闆

360
00:17:57,953 --> 00:18:00,998
很好,太美了,繼續摸獅子

361
00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:03,417
就是這樣

362
00:18:03,500 --> 00:18:05,627
太棒了,來個獅吼,對

363
00:18:07,337 --> 00:18:08,797
性感

364
00:18:08,881 --> 00:18:12,342
好,很美,很好

365
00:18:12,426 --> 00:18:13,886
準備下一個拍攝場景

366
00:18:13,969 --> 00:18:15,637
-是你
-妳好嗎?

367
00:18:15,721 --> 00:18:17,264
我還好,你呢?

368
00:18:17,347 --> 00:18:19,850
我還好,妳還是選了獅子?

369
00:18:19,933 --> 00:18:22,436
-對
-我有點難過,不過看起來很酷

370
00:18:22,519 --> 00:18:24,188
我看起來超誇張的

371
00:18:24,897 --> 00:18:27,149
但我認為比貓熊好看一點

372
00:18:29,401 --> 00:18:30,485
是啊

373
00:18:31,862 --> 00:18:33,155
-靠,我餓死了
-是嗎?

374
00:18:33,238 --> 00:18:34,740
大部分的獅子都是

375
00:18:34,823 --> 00:18:36,325
-我們去吃東西吧
-好

376
00:18:36,408 --> 00:18:38,076
-你餓嗎?
-我餓,這是免費的嗎?

377
00:18:38,660 --> 00:18:40,078
妳肯定覺得很好玩吧?

378
00:18:40,162 --> 00:18:41,330
是啊,我可以靠著變裝成動物

379
00:18:41,413 --> 00:18:43,874
推銷咖啡因伏特加大賺一筆

380
00:18:43,957 --> 00:18:45,584
但我可以把爪子帶回家

381
00:18:45,667 --> 00:18:47,711
這算是額外福利

382
00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:49,963
-我可以吃一口嗎?
-好,吃吧

383
00:18:50,047 --> 00:18:51,965
-謝謝
-小心,不客氣

384
00:18:53,008 --> 00:18:55,844
我知道你不是專程過來餵我的

385
00:18:56,595 --> 00:18:59,014
對,我是來問妳關於傑米的事

386
00:18:59,598 --> 00:19:00,849
對

387
00:19:02,059 --> 00:19:03,727
妳認為他的動力來自於哪裡?

388
00:19:04,770 --> 00:19:05,938
口交

389
00:19:08,273 --> 00:19:09,399
還有其他選項嗎?

390
00:19:11,360 --> 00:19:12,861
再給我吃一口

391
00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:15,072
可以了

392
00:19:15,822 --> 00:19:18,075
聽著,我知道那小子會成為明星

393
00:19:18,784 --> 00:19:21,078
我只是有點希望

394
00:19:21,161 --> 00:19:23,664
他在球隊裡能熱絡點

395
00:19:23,747 --> 00:19:26,625
正面增強的方式對他挺有用的

396
00:19:26,708 --> 00:19:28,502
-那剛好是我的專長
-那太好了

397
00:19:28,585 --> 00:19:29,837
好,我吃一口

398
00:19:32,464 --> 00:19:34,091
-再給我吃一口
-好,吃吧

399
00:19:34,174 --> 00:19:35,133
好

400
00:19:36,176 --> 00:19:38,303
-很大口
-對

401
00:19:38,387 --> 00:19:39,680
妳臉沾到番茄醬了

402
00:19:39,763 --> 00:19:41,515
就像剛吃了一頭羚羊一樣

403
00:19:41,598 --> 00:19:42,891
-幫我擦
-小心,等等

404
00:19:42,975 --> 00:19:44,476
我感覺到了,沾了一大坨

405
00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:46,436
好像滿多的

406
00:19:47,479 --> 00:19:48,480
瑞奇蒙!瑞奇蒙!

407
00:19:48,564 --> 00:19:52,317
新任經理泰德萊索
所帶領的瑞奇蒙足球俱樂部

408
00:19:52,401 --> 00:19:54,570
即將對決水晶宮

409
00:19:54,653 --> 00:19:59,491
足球金童傑米塔特無疑是全場焦點

410
00:19:59,575 --> 00:20:01,785
好,各位,準備出場了

411
00:20:01,869 --> 00:20:03,328
教練,還有什麼要交代的嗎?

412
00:20:03,412 --> 00:20:06,415
-他們速度很快
-你們都聽到了,速度很快

413
00:20:06,498 --> 00:20:08,458
除此之外還有一件事

414
00:20:08,542 --> 00:20:11,086
山姆,生日快樂!

415
00:20:20,429 --> 00:20:22,681
巴巴杜迪最屌

416
00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:26,101
-好
-給你

417
00:20:27,477 --> 00:20:29,396
你們幫我買了親親糕點

418
00:20:29,479 --> 00:20:32,274
這是我小時候常吃的

419
00:20:32,941 --> 00:20:35,944
我們知道你離家好一陣子了
想說幫你帶點家鄉味

420
00:20:36,028 --> 00:20:37,696
謝謝你們

421
00:20:48,832 --> 00:20:51,293
-山姆,生日快樂
-謝謝教練

422
00:20:51,376 --> 00:20:53,170
我們幫你準備了一些東西

423
00:20:53,253 --> 00:20:54,796
教練,這是什麼?

424
00:20:55,464 --> 00:20:58,383
我兒子給了我一堆

425
00:20:58,467 --> 00:21:00,177
在我離家時可以保護我

426
00:21:01,720 --> 00:21:02,888
我很想他

427
00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:07,309
我爸以前總會捏我耳垂祝我好運

428
00:21:08,977 --> 00:21:10,812
也太扯了

429
00:21:14,525 --> 00:21:15,526
教練對不起

430
00:21:16,944 --> 00:21:19,196
教練,我可以不收這個嗎?

431
00:21:19,279 --> 00:21:22,824
我沒有你那麼喜歡美國軍隊

432
00:21:22,908 --> 00:21:24,910
當然沒問題

433
00:21:24,993 --> 00:21:26,703
-帝國主義,對
-帝國主義

434
00:21:26,787 --> 00:21:28,413
謝謝你,教練,謝謝

435
00:21:28,497 --> 00:21:29,414
好了各位

436
00:21:29,498 --> 00:21:32,709
我們得讓水晶宮看看這是誰的主場

437
00:21:35,462 --> 00:21:36,713
西南兩隊再次對決

438
00:21:36,797 --> 00:21:40,175
今天是倫敦的德比大戰日
全場氣氛緊張

439
00:21:40,259 --> 00:21:43,345
會議室裡坐著新東家
球員休息區裡坐著新經理

440
00:21:43,428 --> 00:21:47,266
這會為持續吃敗仗的瑞奇蒙足球俱樂部
帶來新曙光嗎?

441
00:21:47,891 --> 00:21:50,727
歡迎光臨尼爾森路球場
當地球迷暱稱這裡為“賽狗場”

442
00:21:50,811 --> 00:21:55,357
即將上場的是
瑞奇蒙足球俱樂部與水晶宮的對決

443
00:21:55,440 --> 00:21:58,277
我是亞羅懷特,在我旁邊的是克里斯鮑爾

444
00:21:58,360 --> 00:22:00,028
這是我的榮幸,亞羅

445
00:22:00,654 --> 00:22:02,239
-準備好了嗎?
-你拉鍊沒拉

446
00:22:02,990 --> 00:22:04,616
謝謝

447
00:22:04,700 --> 00:22:05,701
好,我們上場吧

448
00:22:06,660 --> 00:22:08,745
克里斯,你有被美國經理帶過嗎?

449
00:22:08,829 --> 00:22:12,332
沒有,亞羅,我倒是不介意
我語言能通

450
00:22:13,834 --> 00:22:16,336
北七!北七!

451
00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:27,306
我們得向家鄉的球迷們道歉
請原諒這不雅的語言

452
00:22:27,389 --> 00:22:29,141
北七!北七!

453
00:22:29,725 --> 00:22:32,311
這是新東家芮貝卡威爾頓的一步險棋

454
00:22:32,394 --> 00:22:34,646
她知道什麼內幕消息嗎?

455
00:22:34,730 --> 00:22:36,064
北七!北七!

456
00:22:36,148 --> 00:22:38,275
你們!給他一個機會

457
00:22:40,777 --> 00:22:42,070
北七!

458
00:22:42,154 --> 00:22:44,072
我們有90分鐘的時間
證明他們是錯的,對吧?

459
00:22:44,781 --> 00:22:45,782
我們放手一搏吧

460
00:22:45,866 --> 00:22:47,451
開始了

461
00:22:48,410 --> 00:22:49,912
(終場:瑞奇蒙對水晶宮一比四)

462
00:22:49,995 --> 00:22:51,205
太可惜了

463
00:22:51,288 --> 00:22:54,291
泰德萊索的時代一開始就出師不利

464
00:22:56,668 --> 00:23:01,757
瑞奇蒙就像是平庸沉悶的一盤散沙

465
00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:04,426
水晶宮以四比一擊敗瑞奇蒙

466
00:23:04,510 --> 00:23:07,888
山姆歐布桑野的防守力是唯一亮點

467
00:23:07,971 --> 00:23:09,223
唯一的亮點?

468
00:23:09,681 --> 00:23:12,809
沒有我的話,就會變四比零了
你們這群可悲的臭王八

469
00:23:12,893 --> 00:23:15,854
還有傑米塔特在傷停時間
踢進毫無意義的一球安慰球

470
00:23:15,938 --> 00:23:17,231
謝謝

471
00:23:18,357 --> 00:23:19,983
傑米,過來一下

472
00:23:20,067 --> 00:23:21,527
這對出借傑米的曼城足球俱樂部來說

473
00:23:21,610 --> 00:23:24,613
是無關痛癢的一球

474
00:23:24,696 --> 00:23:27,074
但傑米塔特卻樂得
跟贏了世界盃一樣

475
00:23:30,410 --> 00:23:32,287
我認識你的時間不長

476
00:23:33,413 --> 00:23:36,208
但你應該是我指導過最優秀的運動員

477
00:23:38,377 --> 00:23:39,378
哇

478
00:23:40,546 --> 00:23:42,798
是啊,我很努力

479
00:23:42,881 --> 00:23:43,882
我知道

480
00:23:44,508 --> 00:23:46,969
你在場上的表現真的無可挑剔

481
00:23:47,970 --> 00:23:49,179
但有一點除外

482
00:23:49,263 --> 00:23:50,347
我的左腳傳球技術?

483
00:23:50,430 --> 00:23:54,643
不是,傑米,我認為你太肯定
自己是萬中選一的球員

484
00:23:55,477 --> 00:23:58,105
讓你有時忘了
自己只是11名球員中的一名

485
00:23:59,857 --> 00:24:04,236
要是你有辦法讓這“小我”
擴大成“大我”的話

486
00:24:06,738 --> 00:24:08,198
那你的前途肯定不可限量

487
00:24:10,701 --> 00:24:12,494
你剛剛那球進得太漂亮了

488
00:24:13,412 --> 00:24:14,538
謝啦

489
00:24:19,668 --> 00:24:22,129
瑞奇蒙目前排名13

490
00:24:22,212 --> 00:24:23,964
但這名次岌岌可危

491
00:24:24,047 --> 00:24:25,465
克里斯,你覺得樂觀嗎?

492
00:24:25,549 --> 00:24:27,968
不,我擦得可是凱文克萊的迷戀古龍水

493
00:24:28,051 --> 00:24:30,137
輸得太難看了

494
00:24:31,180 --> 00:24:33,891
我也很不爽

495
00:24:33,974 --> 00:24:35,058
-哇靠,老兄
-我的天

496
00:24:35,142 --> 00:24:36,602
我的天哪

497
00:24:36,685 --> 00:24:38,437
-我不知道他這麼有種
-好孩子

498
00:24:42,232 --> 00:24:43,317
我的天哪

499
00:24:53,452 --> 00:24:54,453
別垂頭喪氣了

500
00:24:55,078 --> 00:24:56,663
大家打起精神來

501
00:24:56,747 --> 00:24:59,082
禮拜一開始求進步,在那之前...

502
00:24:59,166 --> 00:25:03,587
DJ比德,來幫我們炒熱氣氛吧

503
00:25:04,963 --> 00:25:07,382
來點菲費道格跟Q堤的音樂

504
00:25:08,217 --> 00:25:10,260
來吧,大家吃點蛋糕

505
00:25:10,344 --> 00:25:13,180
今天是山姆生日,快吃
補充點血糖

506
00:25:13,263 --> 00:25:14,264
吃吧

507
00:25:15,974 --> 00:25:17,601
(第一次看到球的樣子)

508
00:25:17,684 --> 00:25:18,685
(北七)

509
00:25:18,769 --> 00:25:19,811
(開除萊索)

510
00:25:22,523 --> 00:25:24,024
妳好啊

511
00:25:24,107 --> 00:25:28,153
我帶了甜點過來麻醉挫敗的苦痛

512
00:25:30,072 --> 00:25:31,615
-對
-謝謝

513
00:25:31,698 --> 00:25:35,452
妳得知道我們的實力
比今天場上的表現好太多了

514
00:25:37,246 --> 00:25:41,500
要是妳能下來一起同樂的話
球員們會很開心的

515
00:25:41,583 --> 00:25:43,418
讓他們知道妳還是挺他們的

516
00:25:44,878 --> 00:25:47,005
我就施壓到這裡了

517
00:25:49,007 --> 00:25:51,510
泰德,你知道怎樣才能說服我嗎?

518
00:25:52,427 --> 00:25:55,722
你可以告訴我這種美味脆餅要去哪裡買

519
00:25:56,765 --> 00:25:59,852
要是我告訴妳的話
我禮拜一就不能幫妳帶過來了,對吧?

520
00:26:01,770 --> 00:26:03,605
好了,希望你們也能到樓下來

521
00:26:04,731 --> 00:26:05,732
蛋糕很好吃

522
00:26:08,318 --> 00:26:10,404
傑米,我是《獨立報》的特倫特克林

523
00:26:10,487 --> 00:26:14,533
今天慘敗後,你有什麼感想?

524
00:26:15,284 --> 00:26:18,954
聽著,這不止關乎我個人
我只是球隊中的11名球員之一

525
00:26:20,330 --> 00:26:21,748
-不費吹灰之力
-好

526
00:26:21,832 --> 00:26:22,833
他們爛到不行

527
00:26:27,504 --> 00:26:30,424
媽的,對,我輸得很不爽

528
00:26:30,507 --> 00:26:32,885
他們其他人都在裡面吃蛋糕

529
00:26:32,968 --> 00:26:35,137
-真的假的?
-對,真的,老兄

530
00:26:35,220 --> 00:26:38,640
那個新教頭還在裡面放音樂
搞得跟派對一樣,超扯的

531
00:26:59,870 --> 00:27:03,498
小心點,教頭把水壓問題修好了

532
00:27:05,083 --> 00:27:06,585
我討厭輸的感覺

533
00:27:06,668 --> 00:27:08,128
教練,按部就班來

534
00:27:08,212 --> 00:27:10,047
-晚安,教練
-晚安,教練

535
00:27:12,883 --> 00:27:14,051
有麻煩了

536
00:27:14,885 --> 00:27:17,012
-我有看比賽
-是嗎?妳覺得怎麼樣?

537
00:27:17,095 --> 00:27:18,263
你超爛的

538
00:27:19,097 --> 00:27:20,974
-或許吧
-對

539
00:27:21,058 --> 00:27:22,976
有件事我倒想聽聽妳的意見

540
00:27:23,977 --> 00:27:26,480
妳認為...看吧!逮到妳了!

541
00:27:26,563 --> 00:27:28,565
-是嗎?看來我低估你了
-對

542
00:27:28,649 --> 00:27:31,193
看吧,沒人料到我會出手,看招!

543
00:27:31,276 --> 00:27:33,612
動作真快,好,我要把背包拿下來了

544
00:27:33,695 --> 00:27:34,780
這次是玩真的了

545
00:27:34,863 --> 00:27:37,032
-讓我拉一下筋
-好

546
00:27:37,115 --> 00:27:39,368
好了,來吧,妳完了

547
00:27:39,451 --> 00:27:40,786
喘口氣

548
00:27:56,969 --> 00:27:58,136
什麼事?

549
00:27:58,220 --> 00:27:59,388
我剛把照片傳給妳了

550
00:28:04,059 --> 00:28:05,561
如我所願

551
00:28:07,855 --> 00:28:10,816
明星球員的女友跟新任經理

552
00:28:12,484 --> 00:28:14,069
妳確定要這麼做?

553
00:28:14,152 --> 00:28:16,488
媒體會將他們生吞活剝

554
00:28:27,082 --> 00:28:28,500
威爾頓小姐?

555
00:28:28,584 --> 00:28:31,920
(最新八卦消息:魯柏曼尼的舊愛新歡)

556
00:28:34,089 --> 00:28:35,174
下手吧

557
00:29:11,752 --> 00:29:13,754
字幕翻譯:Wanyin Tsai