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(《全國日報》
名模泳池派對趴)

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媽的!

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打給蠢貨

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早安

5
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《太陽報》根本就沒報泰德跟綺莉的事

6
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什麼都沒有,你人在辦公室嗎?

7
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我當然在

8
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那你現在馬上過來

9
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我先走了,跟媽媽說我愛她

10
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敲敲門,老闆,我不知道妳怎麼樣

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不過我上週日超開心的

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給妳

13
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終於看到大笨鐘了

14
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我本來以為會看到一個超大的鐘

15
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小時候我爸媽帶我去參觀

16
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密爾瓦基市的艾倫布萊德利鐘樓

17
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他們把我一個人丟在那裡

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對,整整3小時42分鐘
知道我為什麼記得這麼清楚嗎?

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你一直盯著時鐘看?

20
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沒錯,我一直盯著時鐘看,答對了

21
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有點難猜

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不過妳很快就猜到了,真聰明

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-泰德
-對

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說到時間

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我沒什麼時間

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我要去開商標會議

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我總是覺得牛很可憐,要被印上商標

28
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但不印的話牠們又會走失

29
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那是個關於商標的笑話

30
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要是我們人在堪薩斯州的話

31
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妳肯定會笑個不停

32
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明天見

33
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-我超期待的
-說得好

34
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(泰德拉索:錯棚教練趣事多)

35
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好,我們來看看這個
守門員在這裡

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這些人在這裡,對吧?

37
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然後過來這裡,過來這邊

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這小子一路跑到這裡

39
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我們上禮拜在水晶宮慘輸

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這是我們目前的進攻策略

41
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我覺得這策略爛透了

42
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全部擦掉

43
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你可能很不解
我為什麼要畫了又擦掉

44
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因為我相信象徵意義

45
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我也相信

46
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你昨晚幾點回家?

47
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-我沒回家
-真的假的?

48
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我們目前的進攻策略都是基本的傳切配合

49
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把球給傑米,其他人搞屁就好

50
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所以我正在積極尋覓新點子
聽到了嗎?

51
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-小內,你有話要說嗎?
-沒有

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那個...

53
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不是,算了,對不起

54
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別客氣了,你是我們的人
有話直說,你想說什麼?

55
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好,我只是...
不對,另一個口袋

56
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這是我的想法

57
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抱歉

58
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不是這個

59
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反正也不是多好的點子

60
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可能很爛,我都不好意思了

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-我只是...
-抱歉,小內

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對自己沒信心的人
講話我都聽不太到

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我再問你一次

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-你認為這點子會成功嗎?
-會

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-小內,你為什麼要對我們大叫?
-天哪!

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我們人就在這裡

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好,來吧,跟我們解釋一下

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好,要是我們從側翼進攻

69
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傑米可以穿越左側

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接著進行防守時,山姆可以補他的位置

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用傑米當誘餌?

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不是

73
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對,策略是這樣沒錯

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我們試試看

75
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你要採用我的點子?

76
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對,我們試試看可不可行

77
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有可能不會成功

78
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但也有可能相當合身性感

79
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我可能會直接穿出門

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讓我開心地搔首弄姿

81
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我喜歡這個樣子,這種感覺

82
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給他看看你的風騷樣,教練

83
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對,就是這樣,搔首弄姿就是這樣

84
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小內,讓我看看你的風騷樣

85
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沒錯,小內,有你個人的風格

86
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好樣的

87
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你看起來有點火大,不過沒關係

88
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是我搞錯了,我忘了球場在這一邊

89
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我們走吧,繼續搔首弄姿

90
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繼續賣弄風騷

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-晚點見
-好

92
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泰德,可以跟你說句話嗎?

93
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-可以,妳還好嗎?
-我很好

94
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-一切都很不妙
-慘了

95
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這本來要登上《太陽報》頭版的

96
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“經理搞上明星球員女友”

97
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我想比較正確的標題應該是

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“經理餵食
身分不該被戀情定義的年輕女性”

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泰德,這真的很糟

100
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但我在這張照片裡的身材真苗條

101
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對,燈光也很棒

102
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我在報社工作的朋友說
他可以讓這報導晚一天登出

103
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賣我一個人情

104
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傑米看到報導會氣瘋的

105
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我們會被記者包圍

106
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對

107
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我下一張上報的照片
就不會這麼美了

108
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可能是我剛好在打噴嚏的照片

109
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-猜猜頭條會寫什麼?
-祝你健康?

110
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“傑米的騷貨讓塔特失魂落魄”

111
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-這是妳隨機想到的?
-對

112
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-標題很吸引人
-廢話

113
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你無法想像押韻在這國家的力量有多大

114
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也對

115
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“萊索到,全隊兵敗如山倒”

116
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綺莉真會唱

117
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對,我超可愛而且還唱作俱佳

118
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難怪他們想徹底毀了我

119
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也對

120
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抱歉,我費了一番功夫才爬上樓

121
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一堆人想找我講話

122
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還是什麼都沒有

123
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去找人報導泰德跟綺莉的事

124
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-老闆
-泰德跟綺莉,你們好啊

125
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我在走廊上找到的

126
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我們出了點狀況

127
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把照片拿給她看,對

128
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妳看,《太陽報》明天就要刊登了

129
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這些人真的

130
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完全不顧他人隱私跟尊嚴

131
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我要找到這個偷拍的混蛋
還有他幕後的雇主

132
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沒那個必要

133
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我認識報社老闆
我打通電話就解決了

134
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真的嗎?天哪,謝謝妳

135
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我就跟妳說吧

136
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這是位堅強勇敢的自信女性

137
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老闆,妳跟蜜雪兒歐巴馬有得拚

138
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兩人難分高下

139
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我以前從沒聽過這種讚美

140
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-妳手臂看起來的確很強壯
-對

141
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這種讚美我也是第一次聽到
總之我很樂意幫忙

142
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-好
-謝謝

143
00:07:13,183 --> 00:07:15,352
-好
-再見

144
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她查不到照片的源頭是我吧?

145
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-沒錯
-你說“沒錯”是什麼意思?

146
00:07:22,192 --> 00:07:24,194
你沒用化名或拋棄式手機嗎?

147
00:07:24,278 --> 00:07:29,575
芮貝卡,我又不是間諜
我只是個球隊營運長

148
00:07:29,658 --> 00:07:31,743
你兩者都很在行

149
00:07:31,827 --> 00:07:34,538
謝謝,等等...

150
00:07:35,998 --> 00:07:38,709
好,來了,山姆把球傳給狄克森

151
00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:39,668
傳得漂亮

152
00:07:42,087 --> 00:07:43,881
再傳給邦伯凱契

153
00:07:44,339 --> 00:07:46,550
傑米當誘餌跑過去

154
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-山姆沒人防守
-成功了

155
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小內,這策略很棒,你感覺怎麼樣?

156
00:07:58,270 --> 00:08:01,523
我也說不上來,好多新的感覺

157
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跟剛長陰毛時的感覺一樣,對吧?

158
00:08:03,108 --> 00:08:04,109
-對,什麼?
-走吧

159
00:08:04,568 --> 00:08:06,945
好,幹得好

160
00:08:07,029 --> 00:08:08,030
各位聽好了

161
00:08:08,113 --> 00:08:09,615
我們要開始著重在另一件事上

162
00:08:09,698 --> 00:08:11,909
加快防守與進攻間的轉換

163
00:08:11,992 --> 00:08:15,120
兩者間要快速切換,懂嗎?

164
00:08:15,204 --> 00:08:17,247
成功的祕訣是全力以赴

165
00:08:17,331 --> 00:08:20,083
但除此之外,你們還要有卓越的體能

166
00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:23,128
現在繞球場跑兩圈

167
00:08:23,212 --> 00:08:26,548
跑輸我的人要再多跑四圈,開始!

168
00:08:27,132 --> 00:08:30,052
-快點,讓我看看你們的實力
-怎麼回事?

169
00:08:34,139 --> 00:08:36,058
你們快趕上了,轉彎時別偷懶

170
00:08:36,140 --> 00:08:38,101
來吧,你們追不上我這薑餅人的

171
00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:39,520
再快一點!

172
00:08:41,730 --> 00:08:43,565
-你看他的臉
-科林、以薩克,別鬧了

173
00:08:43,982 --> 00:08:45,651
對,真的很痛

174
00:08:45,734 --> 00:08:47,945
科林,小心,他是我們的新教練

175
00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:49,696
-說得對,小子
-對

176
00:08:49,780 --> 00:08:50,948
抱歉,鄉巴佬

177
00:08:52,074 --> 00:08:53,075
謝謝

178
00:08:56,912 --> 00:08:59,248
好,你們今天真會跑

179
00:08:59,331 --> 00:09:01,208
你們跑得比我快多了

180
00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:02,876
除了比德教練外

181
00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:05,170
你怎麼了?我以為你高中是田徑隊員

182
00:09:05,254 --> 00:09:06,255
我是西洋棋隊員,教練

183
00:09:06,338 --> 00:09:07,506
伊利諾州總冠軍

184
00:09:07,589 --> 00:09:09,383
對,伊利諾州是州名

185
00:09:09,466 --> 00:09:12,302
你們的置物櫃裡有禮物

186
00:09:12,386 --> 00:09:14,805
在上面那個小櫃子裡,希望你們會喜歡

187
00:09:22,020 --> 00:09:24,773
(《戰爭遊戲》
奥森斯科特卡德著)

188
00:09:25,816 --> 00:09:27,734
(《美麗與毀滅》
費茲傑羅著)

189
00:09:28,569 --> 00:09:29,903
是本蠢書

190
00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:35,325
(《時間的皺摺》
馬德琳恩格爾著)

191
00:09:37,411 --> 00:09:39,371
(我們是瑞奇蒙隊)

192
00:09:40,581 --> 00:09:41,707
臭小子,真有你的

193
00:09:48,338 --> 00:09:50,257
-是你
-我想跟你說一聲

194
00:09:50,340 --> 00:09:52,926
你那小子內森每天

195
00:09:53,010 --> 00:09:56,013
都被傑米還有他的跟班們霸凌

196
00:09:56,722 --> 00:09:58,348
-對
-你早就知道了?

197
00:09:58,432 --> 00:09:59,474
對

198
00:09:59,558 --> 00:10:01,143
所以你會處理?

199
00:10:01,226 --> 00:10:02,311
不會

200
00:10:03,687 --> 00:10:04,771
搞什麼鬼?

201
00:10:04,855 --> 00:10:07,816
羅伊,我在布魯克里奇小學操場的混戰中

202
00:10:07,900 --> 00:10:10,819
上了寶貴的兩門課

203
00:10:11,486 --> 00:10:14,489
第一,要是羅尼費奇給你糖果吃

204
00:10:14,573 --> 00:10:17,075
你得馬上拒絕,火速逃離現場

205
00:10:17,659 --> 00:10:18,911
因為那小混球很有可能

206
00:10:18,994 --> 00:10:22,122
大便在那巧克力棒包裝裡

207
00:10:22,831 --> 00:10:25,209
沒有人親眼看過,但有幾個人吃過

208
00:10:25,292 --> 00:10:28,420
第二,要是老師阻止霸凌者的話

209
00:10:28,504 --> 00:10:29,838
情況只會更糟

210
00:10:29,922 --> 00:10:31,381
所以你完全不會插手?

211
00:10:32,216 --> 00:10:33,342
對

212
00:10:39,223 --> 00:10:40,432
你幹嘛激怒他?

213
00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:42,184
就是他了,教練

214
00:10:42,267 --> 00:10:44,311
我們要在這裡發揮影響力的話

215
00:10:44,394 --> 00:10:47,648
第一步是突破這個人的心防

216
00:10:57,616 --> 00:10:58,617
沒錯

217
00:11:00,035 --> 00:11:03,747
-傑米,我有話想問你
-40公斤,我一輪舉十次,做三輪

218
00:11:04,331 --> 00:11:08,794
然後再交互訓練二頭肌跟三頭肌

219
00:11:08,877 --> 00:11:11,463
你舉多重關我屁事,你這死娘炮

220
00:11:11,547 --> 00:11:13,215
你當然在乎,你都問我了

221
00:11:14,216 --> 00:11:15,551
你可以舉40公斤嗎?

222
00:11:15,634 --> 00:11:17,511
但我可以用你的蛋蛋當沙包打

223
00:11:17,594 --> 00:11:19,721
-你想試試看嗎?
-不想

224
00:11:20,430 --> 00:11:22,558
你知道自己對球隊的影響力嗎?

225
00:11:22,641 --> 00:11:24,476
-對,我超屌
-不,你是死軟屌

226
00:11:24,560 --> 00:11:28,063
大家是因為你天賜的黃金右腳
才那麼崇拜你

227
00:11:28,146 --> 00:11:29,690
那讓我開始懷疑上帝

228
00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:31,483
所以當他們霸凌小內時

229
00:11:33,151 --> 00:11:34,278
你在旁邊笑

230
00:11:34,820 --> 00:11:35,821
對

231
00:11:35,904 --> 00:11:37,447
他們就覺得無所謂

232
00:11:37,531 --> 00:11:41,285
是啊,因為小內那軟腳蝦也不敢怎樣

233
00:11:46,248 --> 00:11:48,750
好,我會處理的,小內是個好人

234
00:11:49,168 --> 00:11:50,252
很好

235
00:11:51,670 --> 00:11:52,921
羅伊,你今晚會來俱樂部嗎?

236
00:11:53,005 --> 00:11:54,214
你會去嗎?

237
00:11:54,298 --> 00:11:56,383
-當然
-那我當然不會去

238
00:11:57,926 --> 00:11:59,511
科林、以薩克,過來

239
00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:02,848
你們兩個常找小內麻煩

240
00:12:02,931 --> 00:12:04,099
-對
-對

241
00:12:07,769 --> 00:12:09,271
請繼續,我很喜歡

242
00:12:17,279 --> 00:12:19,364
-早安,希金斯
-早,我只是...

243
00:12:19,448 --> 00:12:21,909
在門口等我,讓我知道你有準時上班

244
00:12:21,992 --> 00:12:24,244
沒錯,妳看起來心情不錯

245
00:12:24,328 --> 00:12:26,914
對,我剛明白了一件事

246
00:12:26,997 --> 00:12:28,916
不能用那張照片又怎樣?

247
00:12:28,999 --> 00:12:30,876
重點是在地社群

248
00:12:30,959 --> 00:12:33,420
不管球隊表現多爛,都會支持他們

249
00:12:34,546 --> 00:12:36,381
一群死忠的球迷基本盤

250
00:12:36,465 --> 00:12:39,009
對,我應該可以終結這現象

251
00:12:39,092 --> 00:12:40,093
好樣的

252
00:12:40,886 --> 00:12:42,095
別上來

253
00:12:42,179 --> 00:12:44,139
好,我下去

254
00:12:44,223 --> 00:12:46,266
-給妳
-謝謝

255
00:12:46,350 --> 00:12:48,560
我跟《太陽》的老闆談過了

256
00:12:48,644 --> 00:12:49,853
妳跟上帝談過了?

257
00:12:50,479 --> 00:12:51,855
-不是,是報社
-對

258
00:12:51,939 --> 00:12:55,526
他同意不刊登你跟綺莉的照片

259
00:12:56,151 --> 00:13:00,155
妳太屌了!

260
00:13:00,239 --> 00:13:02,407
-左腳、右腳比較不行
-好了

261
00:13:02,491 --> 00:13:04,076
-太棒了!
-好了,泰德,謝謝

262
00:13:04,159 --> 00:13:05,827
對,抱歉,請繼續

263
00:13:05,911 --> 00:13:06,912
交換條件是

264
00:13:06,995 --> 00:13:10,374
我同意讓他旗下較受好評的《獨立報》

265
00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:11,959
撰寫你的報導

266
00:13:12,042 --> 00:13:13,335
一對一專訪萊索教練

267
00:13:13,418 --> 00:13:14,503
好

268
00:13:14,586 --> 00:13:16,380
專題報導的記者是特倫特克林

269
00:13:17,214 --> 00:13:20,217
他很在行,而且球迷很信任他的報導

270
00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:22,678
我知道特倫特,他超硬的

271
00:13:22,761 --> 00:13:24,972
-真的嗎?
-對,不過沒關係

272
00:13:25,055 --> 00:13:26,557
妳知道怎麼對付超硬的人嗎?

273
00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:29,017
-不知道
-將他們變軟

274
00:13:30,394 --> 00:13:32,104
好,我們來試試新策略

275
00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:37,818
他來了

276
00:13:37,901 --> 00:13:39,862
你好,美國的泰德萊索教練

277
00:13:39,945 --> 00:13:42,281
你好,《獨立報》的特倫特克林

278
00:13:42,364 --> 00:13:44,324
我很期待你今天加入我們
會很好玩的

279
00:13:44,408 --> 00:13:45,784
叫我泰德就好

280
00:13:46,785 --> 00:13:48,036
好,開始了

281
00:13:53,876 --> 00:13:54,960
門戶大開

282
00:13:55,043 --> 00:13:56,628
-好樣的!
-偷襲成功

283
00:14:03,468 --> 00:14:04,970
這就對了,小山,感覺怎麼樣?

284
00:14:05,053 --> 00:14:07,681
超爽的,教練,我老二都有感了

285
00:14:07,764 --> 00:14:09,641
對,差不多就是那種感覺,很好

286
00:14:09,725 --> 00:14:12,227
傑米,你的假動作要有說服力

287
00:14:12,311 --> 00:14:13,979
讓守方相信你,你看,像這樣

288
00:14:14,062 --> 00:14:15,606
球!把球給我!

289
00:14:15,689 --> 00:14:18,525
拜託把球給我!我想接球!

290
00:14:18,609 --> 00:14:19,610
要演得逼真

291
00:14:19,693 --> 00:14:21,945
我要你在明年的年度體育大獎上
贏一座奧斯卡

292
00:14:22,029 --> 00:14:23,363
你要我當誘餌?

293
00:14:23,447 --> 00:14:24,406
對,沒錯

294
00:14:24,489 --> 00:14:25,449
開什麼玩笑

295
00:14:25,949 --> 00:14:28,452
不過你這玩笑一點也不好笑

296
00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:29,536
是這樣嗎?

297
00:14:29,912 --> 00:14:32,164
不算是,我覺得挺好笑的

298
00:14:32,247 --> 00:14:33,540
我覺得比《爛兄爛弟》還好笑

299
00:14:33,624 --> 00:14:34,499
謝謝誇獎

300
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:36,793
上下舖垮下來的那一幕

301
00:14:37,211 --> 00:14:39,463
我以前以為那是我看過
最爆笑的場景

302
00:14:39,546 --> 00:14:40,547
不過今天看到這個

303
00:14:40,631 --> 00:14:42,633
我現在得將我所看過最搞笑的事

304
00:14:42,716 --> 00:14:43,842
重新排名

305
00:14:43,926 --> 00:14:47,221
我認為那是體育跟藝術的結合

306
00:14:47,304 --> 00:14:49,097
好了,各位,我們再演練一次,開始

307
00:14:49,181 --> 00:14:50,182
加油

308
00:14:51,475 --> 00:14:53,185
他們進入狀況了

309
00:14:53,268 --> 00:14:55,395
很有意思的策略,泰德
是你自己想的嗎?

310
00:14:55,479 --> 00:14:56,480
不是

311
00:14:56,563 --> 00:14:58,732
這是我們小內大帝想出來的

312
00:14:59,358 --> 00:15:00,484
“小內大帝”是誰?

313
00:15:01,443 --> 00:15:02,444
就是他

314
00:15:03,153 --> 00:15:05,781
有人來這裡遛狗,又發現另一坨狗屎

315
00:15:06,323 --> 00:15:07,324
是喔

316
00:15:08,116 --> 00:15:09,993
“小內大帝”的工作是什麼?

317
00:15:10,494 --> 00:15:11,912
我不太確定他的職稱

318
00:15:11,995 --> 00:15:13,580
教練,小內的工作是什麼?

319
00:15:13,664 --> 00:15:15,415
-總務
-對,總務

320
00:15:16,542 --> 00:15:19,461
你是說你放心讓一個球隊總務

321
00:15:19,545 --> 00:15:20,504
來研擬英超球隊的進攻策略?

322
00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:23,131
那小子對這門運動的知識比我多太多了

323
00:15:23,215 --> 00:15:25,342
可能是個天才

324
00:15:25,425 --> 00:15:26,677
教練,還有什麼要補充的嗎?

325
00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:27,761
他人很好

326
00:15:29,346 --> 00:15:30,347
哇靠

327
00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:32,224
認識比德教練就知道
要得到這種讚美可不簡單

328
00:15:32,307 --> 00:15:33,433
你是說真的,對吧?

329
00:15:35,060 --> 00:15:36,562
這可以當你的專題了

330
00:15:36,645 --> 00:15:39,648
頭條就叫做“教練點頭”

331
00:15:39,731 --> 00:15:40,858
小心了,蓋伊塔雷斯

332
00:15:40,941 --> 00:15:44,987
特倫特克林即將打出
一篇代表性的專題報導

333
00:15:45,070 --> 00:15:46,446
別偷懶!

334
00:15:47,281 --> 00:15:48,365
教練,大聲告訴他們

335
00:15:50,784 --> 00:15:51,785
快點

336
00:15:52,995 --> 00:15:53,996
拿條毛巾過來

337
00:15:54,079 --> 00:15:55,998
-天哪,不要
-拿毛巾

338
00:15:56,081 --> 00:15:59,042
-放開我,拜託,別這樣
-你們兩個

339
00:15:59,126 --> 00:16:00,627
你們在搞什麼?

340
00:16:01,420 --> 00:16:03,046
傑米沒告訴你們別找他麻煩嗎?

341
00:16:07,176 --> 00:16:08,844
搞什麼鬼

342
00:16:17,978 --> 00:16:20,105
-你好像忘了什麼東西
-綺莉,是妳

343
00:16:20,189 --> 00:16:22,941
我在找妳的混帳男友
妳還真會挑對象

344
00:16:23,025 --> 00:16:26,820
你前女友不是把你的勞力士賣了
把錢拿去吸毒嗎?

345
00:16:26,904 --> 00:16:29,489
那又怎麼樣?反正手機也可以看時間

346
00:16:30,282 --> 00:16:32,868
聽著,我不是來當妳男友保鑣的

347
00:16:32,951 --> 00:16:35,787
但新教頭想請我負責

348
00:16:35,871 --> 00:16:39,374
照顧小內,我連他姓什麼都不知道

349
00:16:39,458 --> 00:16:40,626
他姓巴恩斯

350
00:16:40,709 --> 00:16:41,752
不,是謝利

351
00:16:41,835 --> 00:16:42,836
我知道

352
00:16:42,920 --> 00:16:44,213
我不喜歡別人耍我

353
00:16:44,296 --> 00:16:48,133
妳跟那個老家在堪薩斯州的牛仔

354
00:16:48,217 --> 00:16:51,136
泰德萊索都別想耍我

355
00:16:53,514 --> 00:16:56,183
你模仿得真爛

356
00:16:56,266 --> 00:17:01,230
我知道他故意想激我
但我沒這麼好被控制

357
00:17:01,313 --> 00:17:04,316
拜託,我現在想激你的話
根本易如反掌

358
00:17:04,398 --> 00:17:06,276
-綺莉,妳激不了我的
-我可以

359
00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:08,529
-妳沒辦法,綺莉
-你說什麼?我聽不見

360
00:17:08,612 --> 00:17:10,739
-綺莉,要是妳認真聽我說
-我是想聽你說

361
00:17:10,821 --> 00:17:12,074
-妳就會知道為什麼
-快告訴我啊

362
00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:14,701
我激怒你了嗎?

363
00:17:17,579 --> 00:17:18,579
沒有

364
00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:26,088
“ 我是羅伊坎特,別人花錢請我來踢球

365
00:17:26,171 --> 00:17:28,423
但我總是很不爽”

366
00:17:34,179 --> 00:17:35,430
模仿得很不錯

367
00:17:43,814 --> 00:17:45,065
特倫特

368
00:17:45,148 --> 00:17:47,401
-你知道你這樣子讓我想到誰?
-不知道,誰?

369
00:17:47,484 --> 00:17:48,986
掃地機器人

370
00:17:49,987 --> 00:17:51,822
到處徘徊找灰塵

371
00:17:51,905 --> 00:17:53,574
-倫巴小管家
-沒錯

372
00:17:54,283 --> 00:17:55,826
其實我想問個問題

373
00:17:55,909 --> 00:17:57,870
你在水晶宮慘敗後

374
00:17:57,953 --> 00:18:00,706
你的一位球員說
你在更衣室裡開趴

375
00:18:00,789 --> 00:18:03,834
你認為比賽輸了還開趴這樣對嗎?

376
00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:08,380
特倫特,我個人不太計較輸贏

377
00:18:08,463 --> 00:18:10,507
這句話我可能會放在文章裡

378
00:18:10,591 --> 00:18:11,592
你得出發了

379
00:18:12,217 --> 00:18:13,886
跟羅伊說我們快出發了

380
00:18:13,969 --> 00:18:15,220
-好
-謝啦,教練

381
00:18:15,304 --> 00:18:18,473
你要一起過來嗎?我們要去跟學童們說話

382
00:18:18,557 --> 00:18:20,058
真巧

383
00:18:20,142 --> 00:18:23,270
我們進行訪談的這天
你剛好要去拜訪當地學校

384
00:18:23,353 --> 00:18:25,731
有些事就是這麼巧,對吧?

385
00:18:26,523 --> 00:18:27,816
偶爾會突然出現

386
00:18:28,734 --> 00:18:29,902
走吧

387
00:18:31,737 --> 00:18:32,571
請進

388
00:18:32,654 --> 00:18:35,991
我想再次跟妳道謝
謝謝妳沒有讓照片外流

389
00:18:36,575 --> 00:18:37,826
我有個禮物要給妳

390
00:18:42,289 --> 00:18:43,415
這讓我想到妳

391
00:18:44,374 --> 00:18:45,918
堅毅而且有點帶刺

392
00:18:49,254 --> 00:18:51,089
那個,我決定不再懼怕妳了

393
00:18:51,715 --> 00:18:52,841
我不知道妳怕我

394
00:18:52,925 --> 00:18:54,885
對,我超怕妳的

395
00:18:54,968 --> 00:18:57,679
天哪
知道記者打探我們的感情生活

396
00:18:57,763 --> 00:19:00,057
傑米會氣死的

397
00:19:01,099 --> 00:19:03,477
我不知道我幹嘛跟妳說
妳早就知道了,對吧?

398
00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:05,062
記得妳離婚的時候嗎?

399
00:19:05,562 --> 00:19:06,688
有點印象

400
00:19:06,772 --> 00:19:08,690
對,當時記者緊追著妳跟魯伯

401
00:19:08,774 --> 00:19:10,442
妳沒有很生氣嗎?

402
00:19:10,526 --> 00:19:13,153
因為出軌的是他
但他卻一副白馬王子的樣子

403
00:19:13,237 --> 00:19:15,531
真的很令我反感

404
00:19:16,448 --> 00:19:18,909
媒體都比較偏袒男性

405
00:19:19,451 --> 00:19:22,621
沒有人會花大錢買馬略卡島遊艇上

406
00:19:22,704 --> 00:19:23,914
一名上週才離婚的男性裸照

407
00:19:23,997 --> 00:19:26,250
描述得真詳細

408
00:19:26,333 --> 00:19:28,961
天哪,那表示有張妳在遊艇上的裸照

409
00:19:29,044 --> 00:19:30,003
我可以看嗎?照片在這裡?

410
00:19:30,087 --> 00:19:33,340
拜託,不想給別人看的話
妳就不會說了

411
00:19:33,882 --> 00:19:34,883
拜託

412
00:19:37,010 --> 00:19:40,389
直升機拍到我在做日光浴的照片

413
00:19:42,057 --> 00:19:44,142
哇靠,芮貝卡

414
00:19:44,685 --> 00:19:46,061
妳這胸部是真的嗎?

415
00:19:46,144 --> 00:19:48,522
我感覺就像是個目不轉睛的青少年

416
00:19:48,605 --> 00:19:50,357
妳去哪裡做的?

417
00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:51,525
我媽生的

418
00:19:51,608 --> 00:19:53,360
沒想到妳居然不讓照片外流

419
00:19:53,443 --> 00:19:54,736
是我的話肯定大肆張揚

420
00:19:54,820 --> 00:19:57,656
那個,我還要用電腦

421
00:19:58,490 --> 00:19:59,783
抱歉,好

422
00:20:00,242 --> 00:20:01,243
謝謝

423
00:20:04,913 --> 00:20:05,956
再見

424
00:20:06,707 --> 00:20:07,708
妳的鞋子

425
00:20:08,542 --> 00:20:10,252
對,鞋子

426
00:20:11,712 --> 00:20:13,213
我真的暈頭轉向了

427
00:20:13,297 --> 00:20:15,257
芮貝卡,妳太波濤洶湧了

428
00:20:30,522 --> 00:20:32,858
一開始看到我們學校的足球隊

429
00:20:33,609 --> 00:20:36,820
我不認為瑞奇蒙小學有機會贏得任何比賽

430
00:20:37,404 --> 00:20:39,781
更別說是聯盟總冠軍了

431
00:20:48,665 --> 00:20:53,212
為了慶祝,讓我們歡迎
瑞奇蒙足球俱樂部的新任經理

432
00:20:53,295 --> 00:20:54,796
艾德萊索

433
00:20:57,299 --> 00:20:58,800
謝謝你

434
00:20:58,884 --> 00:21:01,220
你們好嗎?

435
00:21:02,179 --> 00:21:04,014
-北七
-雅各

436
00:21:05,766 --> 00:21:06,850
沒關係

437
00:21:07,476 --> 00:21:08,810
我只是想來恭喜你們

438
00:21:08,894 --> 00:21:11,021
在本季的表現可圈可點

439
00:21:11,104 --> 00:21:14,274
但我知道還有一個人
也很期待認識你們

440
00:21:14,358 --> 00:21:15,943
請跟我一起歡迎

441
00:21:16,026 --> 00:21:19,863
瑞奇蒙足球俱樂部的隊長羅伊坎特

442
00:21:22,407 --> 00:21:25,244
羅伊!羅伊!

443
00:21:25,786 --> 00:21:26,787
沒錯

444
00:21:27,496 --> 00:21:32,084
我一直不是很擅長
公開演講或是學業表現

445
00:21:32,793 --> 00:21:34,586
我一直覺得那很浪費時間

446
00:21:39,007 --> 00:21:41,260
讓我們離開這無聊的禮堂

447
00:21:41,343 --> 00:21:43,470
到球場上一決高下吧

448
00:21:56,066 --> 00:21:57,818
我認為你能來真的很酷

449
00:21:57,901 --> 00:21:59,945
我會來是因為我姪女是這裡的學生

450
00:22:00,028 --> 00:22:02,614
-是嗎?哪一個?
-那個傻妞

451
00:22:06,285 --> 00:22:07,536
天哪,她過來了

452
00:22:08,287 --> 00:22:09,621
羅伊叔叔,我們可以玩頭球嗎?

453
00:22:09,705 --> 00:22:10,998
好,我們走吧

454
00:22:12,124 --> 00:22:13,792
好,來吧,排好隊

455
00:22:13,876 --> 00:22:15,752
用頭,很棒

456
00:22:15,836 --> 00:22:17,546
下一位,很好

457
00:22:17,629 --> 00:22:19,173
下一位,用頭

458
00:22:19,840 --> 00:22:20,841
下一位

459
00:22:23,385 --> 00:22:24,803
很好,下一位

460
00:22:28,223 --> 00:22:30,559
下一位,好樣的

461
00:22:30,976 --> 00:22:32,060
很棒,我喜歡

462
00:22:33,937 --> 00:22:35,189
-很好
-羅伊,來吧

463
00:22:35,272 --> 00:22:37,065
你一起加入,秀幾招給他們看
我來丟幾個

464
00:22:37,149 --> 00:22:38,442
你好,準備好了嗎?來吧

465
00:22:38,525 --> 00:22:40,027
真到位,來吧

466
00:22:40,110 --> 00:22:42,237
來吧,菲比,秀出妳的絕招

467
00:22:42,321 --> 00:22:44,281
接得漂亮,不一定以後可以當守門員

468
00:22:45,240 --> 00:22:47,284
老天爺,正中我的鼻子

469
00:22:48,785 --> 00:22:49,620
好樣的,菲比

470
00:22:54,791 --> 00:22:56,418
天哪

471
00:22:56,502 --> 00:22:57,920
不好意思,我流血了

472
00:22:59,421 --> 00:23:00,422
好了

473
00:23:00,506 --> 00:23:01,757
別用來做我的複製人

474
00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:04,051
很高興認識你,加油

475
00:23:05,260 --> 00:23:07,763
以前從來沒有人
在這種活動裡待這麼久

476
00:23:07,846 --> 00:23:09,598
-謝謝你邀請我們
-謝謝

477
00:23:09,681 --> 00:23:10,682
謝謝你們

478
00:23:12,017 --> 00:23:13,185
羅伊,這超好玩的

479
00:23:13,268 --> 00:23:15,729
妳那姪女真古錐

480
00:23:15,812 --> 00:23:19,900
夠了,我受夠你的心理戰術
跟那些白癡禮物了

481
00:23:19,983 --> 00:23:22,402
《時間的皺褶》是什麼東西?

482
00:23:22,486 --> 00:23:24,112
那是本很棒的小說

483
00:23:24,196 --> 00:23:27,241
描述一個女孩穿越太空

484
00:23:27,324 --> 00:23:28,659
面對領導重擔的故事

485
00:23:29,618 --> 00:23:30,619
對,沒錯

486
00:23:32,204 --> 00:23:33,789
那女孩指的是我?

487
00:23:34,331 --> 00:23:35,415
我希望你是

488
00:23:36,375 --> 00:23:38,168
對,反正這一切都無所謂

489
00:23:38,252 --> 00:23:40,379
我跟這裡的所有人一樣

490
00:23:40,462 --> 00:23:42,381
都在數日子,期待你離開

491
00:23:42,464 --> 00:23:44,466
特倫特,你是個大王八
你一直都是

492
00:23:46,260 --> 00:23:47,511
菲比,走吧

493
00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:54,601
你餓了嗎?

494
00:23:56,019 --> 00:23:57,020
小傳統

495
00:23:59,481 --> 00:24:01,066
開戰了

496
00:24:01,525 --> 00:24:02,734
泰德萊索?

497
00:24:02,818 --> 00:24:05,195
-歐利
-別鬧了,你怎麼會在這裡?

498
00:24:05,279 --> 00:24:06,738
是你邀請我過來的,記得嗎?

499
00:24:06,822 --> 00:24:08,824
我邀請每個坐過我車子的人

500
00:24:08,907 --> 00:24:11,368
歐利,這是我朋友特倫特

501
00:24:11,451 --> 00:24:13,495
-特倫特,這是我兄弟歐利
-幸會

502
00:24:13,579 --> 00:24:15,789
恭喜兩位
你們剛各自認識了一位很酷的人

503
00:24:16,331 --> 00:24:18,041
好,兩位準備好點餐了嗎?

504
00:24:18,625 --> 00:24:20,502
隨便,看主廚推薦什麼

505
00:24:20,586 --> 00:24:24,047
主廚是我岳父,你吃辣嗎?

506
00:24:24,131 --> 00:24:26,466
請他幫我們準備家常菜

507
00:24:27,050 --> 00:24:28,135
你真有種

508
00:24:31,138 --> 00:24:33,015
我超佩服

509
00:24:33,098 --> 00:24:35,267
那可能不是明智之舉

510
00:24:36,727 --> 00:24:37,978
上菜了

511
00:24:38,896 --> 00:24:40,147
-請慢用
-我等不及了

512
00:24:40,230 --> 00:24:42,316
光用聞的就讓我印象深刻了

513
00:24:42,399 --> 00:24:44,943
-包君滿意
-謝謝

514
00:24:45,027 --> 00:24:47,738
很難想像堪薩斯州有好吃的印度料理

515
00:24:47,821 --> 00:24:50,365
我不清楚,我從沒吃過印度料理

516
00:25:02,127 --> 00:25:03,712
超辣的

517
00:25:03,795 --> 00:25:06,840
哇靠,我好像快噴火了

518
00:25:08,842 --> 00:25:09,927
我吃不下去了

519
00:25:10,802 --> 00:25:13,013
什麼?拜託,再多吃幾口才有禮貌

520
00:25:13,096 --> 00:25:15,390
否則歐利會在他家人面前出糗

521
00:25:15,933 --> 00:25:19,061
-我真的沒辦法
-來,倒到我盤子上

522
00:25:21,021 --> 00:25:22,648
好,可以了

523
00:25:22,731 --> 00:25:25,317
要是你這麼熱愛堪薩斯州的話
為什麼...

524
00:25:26,109 --> 00:25:30,197
為什麼要離開
來指導這門你一竅不通的運動?

525
00:25:30,280 --> 00:25:31,281
是為了錢嗎?

526
00:25:31,865 --> 00:25:33,575
有錢嗎?

527
00:25:33,659 --> 00:25:34,826
你們覺得好吃嗎?

528
00:25:35,285 --> 00:25:37,120
跟你岳父說料理很棒

529
00:25:37,663 --> 00:25:39,081
爸!他說很棒!

530
00:25:41,041 --> 00:25:43,794
泰德,你這麼做很不負責任

531
00:25:44,253 --> 00:25:46,255
這俱樂部對這小鎮來說
有深厚的意義

532
00:25:46,839 --> 00:25:47,881
我知道

533
00:25:47,965 --> 00:25:48,966
真的

534
00:25:49,591 --> 00:25:51,134
特倫特,你喜歡什麼?

535
00:25:53,220 --> 00:25:54,221
寫作嗎?

536
00:25:55,389 --> 00:25:56,223
-對
-對

537
00:25:56,306 --> 00:25:57,808
很好,因為你很在行

538
00:25:58,225 --> 00:25:59,434
-謝謝
-不客氣

539
00:25:59,518 --> 00:26:01,436
我呢?我喜歡當教練

540
00:26:02,020 --> 00:26:03,146
我再強調一次

541
00:26:03,230 --> 00:26:05,774
讓你明白我沒有說錯

542
00:26:05,858 --> 00:26:08,026
對我來說,定義成敗的不是輸贏

543
00:26:08,610 --> 00:26:11,280
而是幫助這群年輕人在場上場外

544
00:26:11,363 --> 00:26:12,364
都能達到個人的最佳狀態

545
00:26:12,865 --> 00:26:14,283
這任務可不簡單,特倫特

546
00:26:14,366 --> 00:26:18,036
就跟成長過程中
沒人相信你一樣難熬

547
00:26:19,705 --> 00:26:20,831
讓我問問你

548
00:26:21,874 --> 00:26:23,542
我的舌頭還在嘴巴裡嗎?

549
00:26:23,625 --> 00:26:26,044
因為我辣到快產生幻覺了

550
00:26:29,047 --> 00:26:30,048
我得走了

551
00:26:31,175 --> 00:26:33,552
-我有截稿期限
-快去忙吧

552
00:26:33,635 --> 00:26:34,887
老實說

553
00:26:34,970 --> 00:26:37,139
我很享受跟你相處的時光,特倫特

554
00:26:38,265 --> 00:26:39,474
你是說真的?

555
00:26:39,892 --> 00:26:40,893
對

556
00:26:41,894 --> 00:26:42,811
好

557
00:26:44,188 --> 00:26:45,564
-謝謝
-不客氣

558
00:26:46,106 --> 00:26:46,940
你沒事吧?

559
00:26:48,025 --> 00:26:50,027
通常一道菜就很多了

560
00:26:50,110 --> 00:26:52,779
但我們知道美國人的食量很大,對吧?

561
00:26:53,405 --> 00:26:54,406
開動了

562
00:26:55,449 --> 00:26:56,575
吃吃看這個

563
00:27:03,373 --> 00:27:06,126
-很棒吧?
-超棒的,辣到不行

564
00:27:08,837 --> 00:27:10,881
“某太太的聲音低沉

565
00:27:11,673 --> 00:27:13,175
‘你了解什麼?

566
00:27:14,051 --> 00:27:15,469
非我不可

567
00:27:16,303 --> 00:27:17,763
其他人都不行’”

568
00:27:22,267 --> 00:27:23,352
媽的!

569
00:27:24,144 --> 00:27:26,146
羅伊叔叔,不能說髒話

570
00:27:26,230 --> 00:27:27,898
菲比,別多管閒事

571
00:27:32,277 --> 00:27:33,278
乖

572
00:27:35,322 --> 00:27:38,158
(蠢貨)

573
00:27:40,786 --> 00:27:43,997
-什麼事?
-文章初稿已經出來了

574
00:27:45,582 --> 00:27:48,627
-唸給我聽
-標題是:“叛逆的泰德”

575
00:27:49,336 --> 00:27:52,422
“泰德萊索足球教練身分下所隱藏的真相

576
00:27:52,506 --> 00:27:56,218
絕對讓人跌破眼鏡”

577
00:27:56,301 --> 00:27:59,012
-你好嗎?
-我很好,教練,你的鼻子還好嗎?

578
00:27:59,096 --> 00:28:01,265
-沒事了,謝謝妳的關心
-“這是你們必須接受的真相

579
00:28:01,348 --> 00:28:04,059
因為泰德就在我們身邊

580
00:28:04,142 --> 00:28:07,855
勇敢或愚蠢地面對考驗”

581
00:28:07,938 --> 00:28:10,023
-你們好啊
-“只能由你們自己判斷”

582
00:28:10,107 --> 00:28:11,859
北七快滾!

583
00:28:13,819 --> 00:28:15,404
-你好
-好

584
00:28:15,487 --> 00:28:17,030
-別這樣
-每次都這樣

585
00:28:17,114 --> 00:28:19,408
“對,他的確是深陷困境

586
00:28:19,491 --> 00:28:23,704
他二度強調,他不在乎瑞奇蒙的輸贏

587
00:28:23,787 --> 00:28:28,250
如果萊索的方式錯了
我們也很難再想到正確的態度”

588
00:28:30,794 --> 00:28:32,129
怎麼不繼續唸?

589
00:28:33,297 --> 00:28:37,176
拜託妳記住一點
這是特倫特克林寫的,不是我

590
00:28:38,051 --> 00:28:39,052
繼續唸

591
00:28:40,262 --> 00:28:42,514
-“在這門讚揚自我的行業中
-...讚揚自我

592
00:28:42,598 --> 00:28:43,974
-泰德克制了自我意識”
-泰德克制了自我意識

593
00:28:44,057 --> 00:28:48,478
他的教練風格微妙,而非轟轟烈烈

594
00:28:48,562 --> 00:28:51,607
羅伊,我不知道這是退休派對

595
00:28:53,817 --> 00:28:54,818
靠!

596
00:28:55,319 --> 00:28:56,570
別再找小內麻煩了!

597
00:28:57,321 --> 00:28:58,780
我不知道我揍的是誰

598
00:28:58,864 --> 00:29:00,240
因為我晚上看不太清楚

599
00:29:00,324 --> 00:29:01,366
但那是給你們所有人的警告

600
00:29:02,159 --> 00:29:05,996
慢慢成長,直到它的存在令人無法忽視

601
00:29:06,914 --> 00:29:08,081
香草伏特加

602
00:29:09,291 --> 00:29:10,292
你這幼稚鬼

603
00:29:12,669 --> 00:29:13,795
綺莉

604
00:29:13,879 --> 00:29:14,880
羅伊

605
00:29:15,506 --> 00:29:18,342
不管這代表著跟班成為領袖

606
00:29:20,093 --> 00:29:23,305
或是出於尊重吃下超辣的食物

607
00:29:23,388 --> 00:29:26,558
都足以讓他的腸道系統
掀起驚滔駭浪

608
00:29:26,642 --> 00:29:27,935
鑰匙

609
00:29:28,018 --> 00:29:30,020
找到了,我的天哪

610
00:29:30,103 --> 00:29:32,773
雖然我認為泰德萊索注定失敗

611
00:29:32,856 --> 00:29:35,901
瑞奇蒙也將跟著飽受挫敗之辱

612
00:29:37,027 --> 00:29:38,862
但我不會幸災樂禍

613
00:29:40,030 --> 00:29:42,074
因為我真心的想替他加油

614
00:29:43,700 --> 00:29:45,327
媽的!

615
00:30:14,898 --> 00:30:16,900
字幕翻譯:Wanyin Tsai