1
00:00:10,135 --> 00:00:11,637
[Nathan whistles]
2
00:00:14,806 --> 00:00:15,807
Right.
3
00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:29,446
Who the hell are you?
4
00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:32,573
Oh, hi! Hello. I'm-- I'm Will.
I'm the new clubhouse attendant.
5
00:00:32,658 --> 00:00:34,826
No, you're not.
I'm the clubhouse attendant.
6
00:00:34,910 --> 00:00:36,328
Hey, Higgins, where are you?
7
00:00:36,411 --> 00:00:37,496
Ted, what the fuck's going on?
8
00:00:37,579 --> 00:00:39,206
I don't know.
I'm trying to figure it out myself.
9
00:00:39,289 --> 00:00:41,333
-Figure what out? Have I been sacked?
-Has he been fired?
10
00:00:41,416 --> 00:00:42,918
I don't know anything about this, Ted.
11
00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:44,002
-There you are.
-There you are.
12
00:00:44,086 --> 00:00:45,879
-Is this because I called Isaac a pussy?
-I don't know--
13
00:00:45,963 --> 00:00:46,964
Good morning, everyone.
14
00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:49,550
You shrew. You did this, didn't you?
15
00:00:49,633 --> 00:00:51,051
Why so hostile, Nathan?
16
00:00:51,134 --> 00:00:52,386
Right, I'll tell you why--
17
00:00:52,928 --> 00:00:53,929
You know my name?
18
00:00:54,012 --> 00:00:56,557
Well, I had to spell it correctly
for your contract.
19
00:00:57,641 --> 00:00:59,893
Nate-dawg, you haven't been fired.
It's worse.
20
00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:02,145
You've been promoted.
21
00:01:02,604 --> 00:01:05,022
[laughter, cheering]
22
00:01:11,405 --> 00:01:14,324
[players chanting] Nate! Nate! Nate!
23
00:01:17,703 --> 00:01:21,790
[vocalizing]
24
00:01:22,749 --> 00:01:25,002
-[players] Ooh.
-[Nathan sighs]
25
00:01:26,962 --> 00:01:30,174
Nathan Shelley,
I present to you this whistle.
26
00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:32,259
But it is sad. Do you know why?
27
00:01:32,342 --> 00:01:34,845
-No.
-Because it has never been blown.
28
00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:36,555
Is that the same reason why Colin's sad?
29
00:01:36,638 --> 00:01:38,807
[players laugh]
30
00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:42,895
By the power vested in me by
the Associative Football Club of Richmond,
31
00:01:42,978 --> 00:01:45,814
I now pronounce you Coach Nate.
32
00:01:46,648 --> 00:01:47,858
-[cheering]
-Thanks a lot. Thank you.
33
00:01:49,401 --> 00:01:51,111
-[whistle blows]
-[Coach Beard] No, no! Not inside.
34
00:01:51,195 --> 00:01:52,196
[Nathan] Sorry. Sorry.
35
00:01:52,279 --> 00:01:54,531
[theme music plays]
36
00:02:14,343 --> 00:02:16,595
It got confusing,
'cause they don't call it jock itch here.
37
00:02:16,678 --> 00:02:18,138
So you didn't know what spray to buy?
38
00:02:18,222 --> 00:02:19,640
-Yeah.
-Yeah. What'd you go with?
39
00:02:19,723 --> 00:02:20,724
Mr Muscle.
40
00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:22,100
[Ted] Huh.
41
00:02:22,184 --> 00:02:23,310
Hey, Roy.
42
00:02:23,393 --> 00:02:27,314
Not sure if you know this, but the rules
say you gotta pick a new captain.
43
00:02:27,397 --> 00:02:28,398
Oh.
44
00:02:29,608 --> 00:02:32,236
No, sir. You're my captain.
That's the rule.
45
00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:36,240
No. The, uh, captain has to be
on the pitch. That's the rule.
46
00:02:37,282 --> 00:02:40,244
I say that the current captain
has to pick the new captain.
47
00:02:40,327 --> 00:02:41,828
That's my new rule.
48
00:02:41,912 --> 00:02:43,205
Don't want to.
49
00:02:43,288 --> 00:02:44,289
Well, you have to.
50
00:02:45,749 --> 00:02:47,918
-[Roy] I decline.
-I insist.
51
00:02:48,585 --> 00:02:49,586
Can't make me.
52
00:02:50,212 --> 00:02:53,757
Roy Kent, until you choose your successor,
53
00:02:53,841 --> 00:02:58,262
your duties as captain of this squad
remain unfulfilled.
54
00:03:00,597 --> 00:03:02,140
This is why it's hard to love you.
55
00:03:03,225 --> 00:03:04,226
Oh.
56
00:03:04,935 --> 00:03:05,936
You heard it, right?
57
00:03:06,603 --> 00:03:07,813
He loves you.
58
00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:10,065
All right, gang. Here's the unskinny bop.
59
00:03:10,148 --> 00:03:13,402
Manchester City is coming into our house
for the final match,
60
00:03:13,485 --> 00:03:16,238
but preparation-wise, we gonna
treat it like it's any other game.
61
00:03:16,321 --> 00:03:18,949
But it's not just any other game.
We could get relegated.
62
00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:21,994
We got relegated when I was at Cardiff.
It's my family's team.
63
00:03:22,077 --> 00:03:23,787
My nana never spoke to me after that.
64
00:03:23,871 --> 00:03:25,539
She just left me a box of her shit
in her will.
65
00:03:25,622 --> 00:03:27,791
Yeah, and when clubs go down,
teams get broken up.
66
00:03:27,875 --> 00:03:30,252
Coach, do they not have relegation
in America?
67
00:03:30,335 --> 00:03:31,670
Oh, no, no, no. [chuckles]
68
00:03:31,753 --> 00:03:33,881
So what happens to all the shit teams
at the end of the season?
69
00:03:33,964 --> 00:03:35,591
They play out the rest of the schedule,
70
00:03:35,674 --> 00:03:37,759
going through the motions
in meaningless games
71
00:03:37,843 --> 00:03:39,887
contested in lifeless,
half-empty stadiums,
72
00:03:39,970 --> 00:03:41,638
and everyone's pretty much fine with that.
73
00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:44,057
-That sound about right, Coach?
-Yeah, it's dumb.
74
00:03:44,975 --> 00:03:46,768
-All right. Now, Coach Nate--
-[whistle blows]
75
00:03:46,852 --> 00:03:48,020
No, no, no.
76
00:03:48,103 --> 00:03:49,521
-Not-- No, not here.
-[Coach Beard] Not inside.
77
00:03:49,605 --> 00:03:52,149
I was saying, now Coach Nate
has a video he wants to show.
78
00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:53,442
Oh, yeah. Sorry.
79
00:03:53,525 --> 00:03:59,031
Okay. [clears throat] So, um, I thought
you'd all find this, uh, motivational.
80
00:03:59,114 --> 00:04:00,574
All right.
81
00:04:00,657 --> 00:04:01,950
[clears throat]
82
00:04:02,034 --> 00:04:03,035
[Dani] Amigo Jamie.
83
00:04:03,118 --> 00:04:05,370
-Clearly no barbers in Manchester.
-[players laugh]
84
00:04:06,330 --> 00:04:08,790
Well, I'd never say a bad word
about me old club...
85
00:04:08,874 --> 00:04:10,918
[players murmuring]
86
00:04:11,001 --> 00:04:12,920
...even though I did carry them
through every match.
87
00:04:13,003 --> 00:04:14,546
But they're good lads.
88
00:04:14,630 --> 00:04:16,464
Apart from Roy Kent. He is a knob.
89
00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:21,011
You know, and it's nice to have
a real manager like Pep,
90
00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:22,804
instead of that American rodeo clown.
91
00:04:23,639 --> 00:04:26,850
You know, Lasso sent me away,
now they're facing the drop.
92
00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:29,269
Sunday,
I get to put the final nail in the ashes.
93
00:04:29,353 --> 00:04:31,271
Instant karma, it's gonna get ya.
94
00:04:31,939 --> 00:04:33,732
[players gasp]
95
00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:35,442
Oops, innit?
96
00:04:35,526 --> 00:04:36,401
Well said.
97
00:04:36,485 --> 00:04:37,861
[Ted] All right,
let's go climb that mountain!
98
00:04:39,321 --> 00:04:41,281
Okay, so if the Premier League
is the best,
99
00:04:41,365 --> 00:04:43,534
then what's the league called
right below it?
100
00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:45,118
The Championship.
101
00:04:45,202 --> 00:04:48,413
Now, hold on one second. So if you come
in last place in the Premier League,
102
00:04:48,497 --> 00:04:50,082
you get to play in the Championship?
103
00:04:50,165 --> 00:04:52,376
-They also invented irony.
-[exhales]
104
00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:54,837
Man, this town has got a weird way
with words, don't it?
105
00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:57,756
I mean, come on, y'all. It's 2020.
Let's just call 'em cigarettes.
106
00:04:57,840 --> 00:04:59,842
-Oh, God, yeah.
-You know what I mean?
107
00:05:00,551 --> 00:05:01,760
Hey. How you doing, fellas?
108
00:05:02,427 --> 00:05:04,638
We, uh, just wanted to say thanks.
109
00:05:04,721 --> 00:05:06,139
Yeah, we know you did your best.
110
00:05:06,223 --> 00:05:08,058
Even though your best is still shit.
111
00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:10,060
-Baz.
-Oh, come on, now.
112
00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:12,479
You're acting like
we lost the game already, yeah?
113
00:05:12,563 --> 00:05:14,189
Why don't you have a little hope?
114
00:05:14,773 --> 00:05:15,816
[laughing]
115
00:05:15,899 --> 00:05:19,361
Aw, Ted. Haven't you lived here
long enough to realize?
116
00:05:19,987 --> 00:05:21,530
It's the hope that kills you.
117
00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:27,995
Why don't you text Nate?
We got a little work to do tonight, huh?
118
00:05:29,246 --> 00:05:33,750
Okay, come on. We got this.
Look, we win, we're in, okay?
119
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:36,837
There is a scenario where Crystal Palace
beat Norwich by six goals,
120
00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:38,672
and we avoid relegation with just a tie.
121
00:05:38,755 --> 00:05:40,841
No, no, no. Nope. Sorry. Uh-uh.
122
00:05:40,924 --> 00:05:42,217
No. I hate ties, Nate.
123
00:05:42,301 --> 00:05:44,595
How many times I gotta tell you that?
They ain't natural, all right?
124
00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:46,930
If God wanted games to end in a tie,
125
00:05:47,014 --> 00:05:48,765
she wouldn't have invented numbers,
all right?
126
00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:50,893
Come on, guys. Let's fire up. Let's go.
[stammers]
127
00:05:50,976 --> 00:05:53,770
For the love of Meghan Markle, do not
blow that whistle again, Nate. I swear.
128
00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:55,147
-Sorry.
-I got neighbors upstairs,
129
00:05:55,230 --> 00:05:57,774
and they will just start stomping away.
Okay?
130
00:05:57,858 --> 00:06:00,235
Come on.
Tell me how we beat Manchester City.
131
00:06:00,319 --> 00:06:02,404
-We cannot beat Manchester City.
-Dang it, Nate!
132
00:06:02,487 --> 00:06:05,115
That is not what I want to hear
from my assistant coach on his first day.
133
00:06:05,199 --> 00:06:06,366
It is hopeless.
134
00:06:09,203 --> 00:06:10,495
Oh, I'm sorry. It's hopeless?
135
00:06:10,579 --> 00:06:11,955
-Yeah.
-Yeah?
136
00:06:15,626 --> 00:06:17,836
[footsteps running upstairs]
137
00:06:20,547 --> 00:06:22,090
[items shuffle, clatter]
138
00:06:23,509 --> 00:06:26,178
Quick question.
Are those the only clothes you own?
139
00:06:26,261 --> 00:06:28,096
This? No, I got three of these.
140
00:06:32,935 --> 00:06:36,939
That ring a bell, Nate?
That ring a very large bell in your head?
141
00:06:37,022 --> 00:06:38,565
You had that hanging in your home?
142
00:06:38,649 --> 00:06:41,235
I got a ton of these hanging up in here.
This one's from the bathroom mirror.
143
00:06:41,318 --> 00:06:44,112
It's the first thing I see every morning,
and it's the last thing I see at night
144
00:06:44,196 --> 00:06:45,864
when I rationalize
being too tired to floss.
145
00:06:47,658 --> 00:06:49,368
Belief can't score goals, Coach.
146
00:06:49,451 --> 00:06:51,036
Well, hello, Nelson.
147
00:06:51,119 --> 00:06:53,288
Let me introduce you
to another Nelson right here.
148
00:06:53,372 --> 00:06:57,417
I think you two will hit it off just fine,
'cause you're both so damn pessimistic!
149
00:06:57,501 --> 00:06:59,086
[thumps]
150
00:06:59,169 --> 00:07:00,587
Sorry, Ms. Shipley!
151
00:07:00,671 --> 00:07:04,091
I believe the gentleman is suggesting
that we are a pair of Negative Nellies.
152
00:07:04,174 --> 00:07:05,551
Oh, right.
153
00:07:06,260 --> 00:07:07,261
Jackpot.
154
00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:08,762
[knocking]
155
00:07:08,846 --> 00:07:11,265
Morning, boss. Here you are.
156
00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:16,353
Oh. Ted. I sense you're carrying around
something today besides biscuits.
157
00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:18,021
Good eye, small fry.
158
00:07:18,522 --> 00:07:19,773
[Ted exhales]
159
00:07:20,691 --> 00:07:21,692
[grunts]
160
00:07:22,401 --> 00:07:23,569
I hate to say it, Rebecca,
161
00:07:23,652 --> 00:07:27,072
but I think your football club might have
been better off with a soccer coach.
162
00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:28,282
Where's this coming from?
163
00:07:28,365 --> 00:07:30,492
Look, if we do end up losing on Sunday,
164
00:07:30,576 --> 00:07:33,453
you just go ahead and do whatever you
think is best for the future of this club,
165
00:07:33,537 --> 00:07:34,538
you understand?
166
00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:37,916
Even if that means this guy's gotta go...
[imitates slicing sound]
167
00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:41,253
You know, you put that thing, and just...
You know, whatever you got.
168
00:07:41,336 --> 00:07:43,046
Whatever you wanna do.
I mean, don't really murder me,
169
00:07:43,130 --> 00:07:45,841
but, you know, just... [imitates gunshot]
All that. You get what I'm getting at?
170
00:07:45,924 --> 00:07:47,593
-Fire me. You get the gist. Yeah.
-[Rebecca] Okay. Okay.
171
00:07:47,676 --> 00:07:49,928
So you think you're not
a "proper" football manager.
172
00:07:50,012 --> 00:07:52,973
Someone who's never played the game
before, or knows the rules.
173
00:07:53,056 --> 00:07:55,017
No, I don't know jack diddly
about any of it.
174
00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:58,145
But who cares?
There's a great saying in Dutch football.
175
00:07:58,228 --> 00:07:59,479
Oh, I don't speak Dutch.
176
00:07:59,855 --> 00:08:01,398
That's why I was going to tell you
in English.
177
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:02,774
Perfect. Lay it on me.
178
00:08:02,858 --> 00:08:05,611
"Every disadvantage has its advantage."
179
00:08:06,111 --> 00:08:07,112
Ooh, I like that.
180
00:08:07,196 --> 00:08:08,822
Sure, you don't know what you're doing,
181
00:08:08,906 --> 00:08:11,158
but doesn't that mean
that you see the game in a different way
182
00:08:11,241 --> 00:08:12,993
than any other football manager?
183
00:08:14,203 --> 00:08:17,873
And shouldn't that empower you
to cause complete and utter confusion?
184
00:08:18,540 --> 00:08:22,252
Cause confusion or create chaos.
185
00:08:22,336 --> 00:08:25,380
Yep. Yes, it is. Thanks, boss.
186
00:08:25,464 --> 00:08:27,966
Whoo-hoo! [grunts]
187
00:08:29,927 --> 00:08:30,928
I'm fine.
188
00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:32,095
Oh, my God.
189
00:08:32,179 --> 00:08:34,597
The chaos has already begun. Whoo!
190
00:08:35,349 --> 00:08:37,893
All right, gentlemen.
School is in session.
191
00:08:37,976 --> 00:08:41,104
And today's lesson is "trick plays."
192
00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:42,813
At least, that's what
we call 'em back home.
193
00:08:42,898 --> 00:08:44,942
-What do they call 'em here again?
-Elaborate set pieces.
194
00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:47,319
Yeah, we gonna stick with "trick plays."
That's a lot more fun.
195
00:08:47,402 --> 00:08:49,196
Now, the idea behind every trick play
196
00:08:49,279 --> 00:08:54,535
is to have chaos rain down
upon your opponents and stun them.
197
00:08:54,618 --> 00:08:57,204
Much like the lava did
to those poor folks in Pompeii.
198
00:08:57,287 --> 00:09:00,874
So, I want y'all to think about
every single trick play you have ever run
199
00:09:00,958 --> 00:09:03,252
your entire time playing this sport.
Anybody got one?
200
00:09:03,335 --> 00:09:04,336
Yeah, Dani, what you got?
201
00:09:04,419 --> 00:09:06,880
When I played for Tigres,
we had a great set piece.
202
00:09:06,964 --> 00:09:08,465
-Did it have a name?
-"The Sandman."
203
00:09:08,549 --> 00:09:11,635
-Yeah. Now we're cooking. "The Sandman."
-[players cheer]
204
00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:13,387
We're gonna learn that play today.
Who else got one?
205
00:09:13,470 --> 00:09:14,930
-"Pepper Shakers."
-"Pepper Shakers"?
206
00:09:15,013 --> 00:09:16,348
Yeah, plural. Gotta be two.
207
00:09:16,431 --> 00:09:17,558
"Beckham's Todger."
208
00:09:17,641 --> 00:09:19,393
Beckham, I know. Todger, I don't know.
209
00:09:19,476 --> 00:09:21,061
-It's dirty.
-Okay.
210
00:09:21,144 --> 00:09:22,229
"Midnight Poutine."
211
00:09:22,312 --> 00:09:23,981
-Poutine?
-[Coach Beard] That's not dirty.
212
00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:25,774
It's just super Canadian.
213
00:09:25,858 --> 00:09:27,901
-"Chitty Chitty Bang Bang."
-Oh, with Dick Van Dyke.
214
00:09:27,985 --> 00:09:31,738
The owner of one of the most authentic
English accents in the history of cinema.
215
00:09:31,822 --> 00:09:33,073
-What do you got?
-"The Broken Tap."
216
00:09:33,156 --> 00:09:35,200
All right. That's not a complaint,
that's an actual play name?
217
00:09:35,284 --> 00:09:37,411
Think Man City will leak
a lot of goals from it.
218
00:09:37,494 --> 00:09:39,204
[players] Whoa!
219
00:09:39,288 --> 00:09:40,497
Oh. Nice. Yeah?
220
00:09:40,581 --> 00:09:42,833
-"Loki's Toboggan."
-"The Upside-Down Taxi."
221
00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:45,085
-"Hadrian's Wall."
-"Dirty Martini."
222
00:09:45,169 --> 00:09:48,005
Oh, I'd love to run that play
three times right now. I love it.
223
00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:49,965
Do me a favor
and toss "Lasso Special" up there
224
00:09:50,048 --> 00:09:51,216
just for the heck of it too.
225
00:09:51,300 --> 00:09:52,885
All right, guys. Tell you right now,
226
00:09:52,968 --> 00:09:55,929
we're gonna go out there, and we're gonna
learn a bunch of these plays, you hear?
227
00:09:56,013 --> 00:09:59,850
Come Sunday, we're gonna hit
Man City with the chaos hammer!
228
00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:01,977
-[players] Yeah!
-Let's go!
229
00:10:02,060 --> 00:10:04,813
[cheering]
230
00:10:06,732 --> 00:10:08,567
No. Sam, not wax.
231
00:10:08,650 --> 00:10:11,653
-Ah, okay.
-Pomade. Pomade.
232
00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:15,449
Yo, Jamie Tartt. It's you, yeah?
233
00:10:16,909 --> 00:10:18,243
Let me get an ussie.
234
00:10:18,327 --> 00:10:19,494
A what?
235
00:10:19,578 --> 00:10:22,206
-[camera clicking rapidly]
-Oh.
236
00:10:23,207 --> 00:10:24,666
Wicked.
237
00:10:24,750 --> 00:10:26,793
I can't believe
you got dumped by Richmond.
238
00:10:26,877 --> 00:10:28,337
Super embarrassing for you, yeah?
239
00:10:28,420 --> 00:10:31,131
Eh, well, I got fucked by Lasso. So...
240
00:10:31,215 --> 00:10:33,800
He likes you now though.
He talked about you on telly, didn't he?
241
00:10:34,676 --> 00:10:36,762
What are you on about, you posh twat?
242
00:10:36,845 --> 00:10:40,682
Trent Crimm, The Independent.
Any bad blood between you and Jamie Tartt?
243
00:10:40,766 --> 00:10:43,143
[Ted] Jamie? No.
That's a special young man right there.
244
00:10:43,227 --> 00:10:45,020
Got talent for days, works hard,
245
00:10:45,103 --> 00:10:47,523
and he's got a jawline
like the White Cliffs of Dover.
246
00:10:47,606 --> 00:10:48,941
I'm always rootin' for him.
247
00:10:49,024 --> 00:10:50,859
-What?
-Classic mind games, innit?
248
00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:53,737
Right. You can fuck off.
249
00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:55,239
Whoa!
250
00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:03,580
[doorbell rings]
251
00:11:06,375 --> 00:11:08,585
You're fucking joking.
252
00:11:12,714 --> 00:11:14,633
Oh, yeah, Roy, Jamie's coming over.
253
00:11:14,716 --> 00:11:17,177
Oh, is he? Shall I make scones?
254
00:11:17,261 --> 00:11:18,345
I don't like scones.
255
00:11:18,428 --> 00:11:20,138
I'm not making scones, you idiot.
256
00:11:20,222 --> 00:11:22,099
Good, 'cause I don't even like 'em.
257
00:11:23,517 --> 00:11:25,102
What's that?
258
00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:26,395
I made you coffee.
259
00:11:27,771 --> 00:11:28,772
Well, then, what's this?
260
00:11:28,856 --> 00:11:29,982
I brought you coffee.
261
00:11:30,524 --> 00:11:31,525
Oh.
262
00:11:36,613 --> 00:11:39,199
All right, Jamie, what was it
that you wanted to talk about?
263
00:11:39,283 --> 00:11:41,493
Not gonna say it
in front of this dry old shit.
264
00:11:42,077 --> 00:11:43,912
Why? He won't say anything. Will you?
265
00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:47,374
Missed.
266
00:11:48,458 --> 00:11:50,794
Ted Lasso is trying to play
fucking mind games with me.
267
00:11:50,878 --> 00:11:53,630
Saying nice shit about me on the telly.
Trying to get in my head.
268
00:11:53,714 --> 00:11:56,049
-He does like you.
-You're as full of shit as he is.
269
00:11:56,133 --> 00:11:58,177
Oi. Mind your fucking manners.
270
00:11:58,260 --> 00:11:59,386
All right, RoboCop.
271
00:11:59,469 --> 00:12:02,723
Jamie, not everyone in your life
is out to get you.
272
00:12:02,806 --> 00:12:04,308
I am.
273
00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:07,644
What? Thought you respected honesty.
274
00:12:07,728 --> 00:12:08,896
I do.
275
00:12:09,563 --> 00:12:12,649
Oh, that is disgusting.
276
00:12:13,192 --> 00:12:16,528
Look, Keeley. When you're done
feeding mushy peas to this old fart,
277
00:12:16,612 --> 00:12:17,821
then you give me a call.
278
00:12:18,780 --> 00:12:21,742
Look forward to seeing you tomorrow.
Enjoy the view from the bench.
279
00:12:23,785 --> 00:12:25,287
[footsteps departing]
280
00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:28,290
What?
281
00:12:28,832 --> 00:12:30,459
Well, now I want mushy peas.
282
00:12:30,542 --> 00:12:32,169
[laughs]
283
00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:35,297
[Henry]
Dad, when I see you coach soccer on TV,
284
00:12:35,380 --> 00:12:38,217
it doesn't look like
you're doing anything.
285
00:12:38,300 --> 00:12:41,970
[chuckles]
Well, it's 'cause I'm not. All right?
286
00:12:42,054 --> 00:12:44,264
It ain't like being a football coach
back home, kiddo.
287
00:12:44,348 --> 00:12:46,892
I got a lot less control,
'cause once the game gets going,
288
00:12:46,975 --> 00:12:48,519
I can't tell my fellas what to do.
289
00:12:48,602 --> 00:12:50,812
So I just gotta hope that everything
I've been trying to teach 'em
290
00:12:50,896 --> 00:12:52,356
made some sort of impact on 'em,
291
00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:55,609
and that they'll make the right decisions
when they're out there on their own.
292
00:12:55,692 --> 00:12:58,028
You know, it's kind of like being a dad,
I guess, huh?
293
00:13:00,155 --> 00:13:02,324
How much did you get of that
before you checked out?
294
00:13:02,407 --> 00:13:04,785
-I drew a robot.
-That's cool, bud.
295
00:13:06,078 --> 00:13:08,580
[Arlo] The Richmond faithful
gather on a crucial night.
296
00:13:08,664 --> 00:13:11,959
Win and they stay up.
Lose and they go down.
297
00:13:12,042 --> 00:13:15,170
They come here full of hope,
but as they know all too well,
298
00:13:15,254 --> 00:13:16,839
-it's the hope that kills you.
-[horns honking]
299
00:13:16,922 --> 00:13:17,923
Oh, this sport.
300
00:13:18,006 --> 00:13:20,592
I'd forgotten how stressful it is
when you actually give a shit.
301
00:13:21,635 --> 00:13:23,637
-I have a confession to make.
-Ooh.
302
00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:26,223
I've never really cared about football.
303
00:13:26,306 --> 00:13:29,810
I know. I know it sounds insane,
but I know how to act at a match.
304
00:13:29,893 --> 00:13:31,895
"Referee!"
305
00:13:32,521 --> 00:13:34,398
"Offside, you turnip!"
306
00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:36,525
-God, you're awful.
-You believed me.
307
00:13:37,401 --> 00:13:40,195
It's just that my heart has never really
been in it, you know?
308
00:13:41,864 --> 00:13:43,031
But today...
309
00:13:45,868 --> 00:13:47,578
today, I care very much.
310
00:13:50,289 --> 00:13:53,834
Arlo White here, with former
England international, Chris Powell,
311
00:13:53,917 --> 00:13:56,670
live from the Dogtrack,
Nelson Road Stadium,
312
00:13:56,753 --> 00:13:58,463
the home of AFC Richmond,
313
00:13:58,547 --> 00:14:00,799
who tonight
host the mighty Manchester City.
314
00:14:00,883 --> 00:14:02,176
[Bex] Yoo-hoo! You like my new shirt?
315
00:14:03,302 --> 00:14:04,511
Well, look at you.
316
00:14:04,595 --> 00:14:06,722
[Arlo] It's David meets Goliath.
317
00:14:06,805 --> 00:14:09,558
[Chris] If David forgot
to put his stone in his slingshot, Arlo.
318
00:14:09,641 --> 00:14:10,642
These are on me.
319
00:14:10,726 --> 00:14:12,102
Thanks, Mae.
320
00:14:12,186 --> 00:14:14,104
-Good luck group hug?
-No.
321
00:14:15,647 --> 00:14:17,983
-Richmond.
-[all] Richmond.
322
00:14:19,735 --> 00:14:21,945
Okay, here we are. Family Higgins.
323
00:14:22,029 --> 00:14:27,326
This is Terry, Kris, Dana, Stevie.
324
00:14:27,409 --> 00:14:30,579
How many kids do you have, Higgins?
Jesus Christ.
325
00:14:30,662 --> 00:14:32,831
And this is our eldest, Lindsay.
326
00:14:32,915 --> 00:14:33,916
Good evening.
327
00:14:34,708 --> 00:14:35,709
Forgive me, Father.
328
00:14:36,335 --> 00:14:38,712
Don't worry. He's a cool priest.
329
00:14:38,795 --> 00:14:40,380
When your parents have you out of wedlock,
330
00:14:40,464 --> 00:14:43,425
it allows you space
to explore life's little gray areas.
331
00:14:43,509 --> 00:14:45,594
-Come on, Richmond!
-Come on!
332
00:14:46,428 --> 00:14:48,680
[Arlo] With the Richmond fans
in full voice, Chris,
333
00:14:48,764 --> 00:14:52,559
how do the players in the locker room
feel to be on the brink of relegation?
334
00:14:53,185 --> 00:14:55,437
[Chris] It's a tremendous amount
of pressure, Arlo.
335
00:14:55,521 --> 00:14:59,149
To get the result they need, it will
have to start with veteran leadership.
336
00:14:59,233 --> 00:15:00,317
[clears throat]
337
00:15:02,528 --> 00:15:03,737
Isaac.
338
00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:05,572
Yeah?
339
00:15:09,785 --> 00:15:11,578
Never stop breaking TVs.
340
00:15:16,250 --> 00:15:18,836
[players chattering]
341
00:15:25,509 --> 00:15:28,178
[Ted] All right, now, fellas.
Hey, let's focus up, huh?
342
00:15:32,683 --> 00:15:37,604
So I've been hearing this phrase y'all got
over here that I ain't too crazy about.
343
00:15:39,022 --> 00:15:40,691
"It's the hope that kills you."
344
00:15:42,693 --> 00:15:43,694
Y'all know that?
345
00:15:46,154 --> 00:15:47,698
I disagree, you know?
346
00:15:48,991 --> 00:15:51,493
I think it's the lack of hope
that comes and gets you.
347
00:15:53,161 --> 00:15:54,663
See, I believe in hope.
348
00:15:55,914 --> 00:15:57,457
I believe in belief.
349
00:15:59,793 --> 00:16:03,380
Now, where I'm from,
we got a saying too, yeah?
350
00:16:04,298 --> 00:16:05,966
A question, actually.
351
00:16:06,550 --> 00:16:08,927
"Do you believe in miracles?"
352
00:16:11,388 --> 00:16:13,891
Now, I don't need y'all
to answer that question for me...
353
00:16:15,267 --> 00:16:18,103
but I do want you to answer
that question for yourselves.
354
00:16:18,187 --> 00:16:19,188
Right now.
355
00:16:20,522 --> 00:16:23,650
Do you believe in miracles?
356
00:16:26,111 --> 00:16:27,404
And if you do...
357
00:16:29,281 --> 00:16:31,867
then I want y'all to circle up with me
right now. Come on. Let's go.
358
00:16:31,950 --> 00:16:33,535
[players cheer, applaud]
359
00:16:33,619 --> 00:16:34,745
Get 'em in here.
360
00:16:37,289 --> 00:16:39,124
All right, Captain. Let 'em know.
361
00:16:44,129 --> 00:16:46,423
-[chattering]
-Let's go, Skipper, let's go.
362
00:16:47,466 --> 00:16:48,926
All right, Captain. Let 'em know.
363
00:16:49,843 --> 00:16:51,053
Richmond on 12.
364
00:16:51,929 --> 00:16:55,265
One, two, three,
365
00:16:55,349 --> 00:16:59,186
four, five, six,
366
00:16:59,269 --> 00:17:03,565
seven, nine, ten, eleven, twelve!
367
00:17:03,649 --> 00:17:05,400
[all] Richmond!
368
00:17:05,483 --> 00:17:07,069
Go Richmond!
369
00:17:07,903 --> 00:17:09,363
[Isaac] Let's go!
370
00:17:09,445 --> 00:17:11,531
Is that miracle thing
from a movie or real life?
371
00:17:11,615 --> 00:17:12,616
Both.
372
00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:15,868
Among the many subplots,
the return of Jamie Tartt,
373
00:17:15,953 --> 00:17:18,121
who enjoyed a successful loan period here,
374
00:17:18,204 --> 00:17:23,001
but had an infamous on-pitch dustup
with Roy Kent, who is not starting today.
375
00:17:23,085 --> 00:17:24,294
[Chris] I really can't remember
376
00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:26,630
seeing Roy Kent on the bench
for a big match.
377
00:17:27,673 --> 00:17:29,299
Hey, Jamie! Good luck!
378
00:17:30,259 --> 00:17:31,969
Fucking mind games.
379
00:17:32,052 --> 00:17:34,680
[Arlo]
It's Richmond versus Manchester City.
380
00:17:34,763 --> 00:17:36,098
And we're off.
381
00:17:36,181 --> 00:17:37,432
Here we go.
382
00:17:38,767 --> 00:17:41,895
[Arlo] Hendrick takes. Outside for Corwin.
383
00:17:41,979 --> 00:17:43,689
Oh, and he puts Tartt through on goal.
384
00:17:44,273 --> 00:17:45,566
No, no, no.
385
00:17:45,649 --> 00:17:47,359
He has a man open to his left.
386
00:17:48,193 --> 00:17:49,403
But he takes it himself!
387
00:17:50,070 --> 00:17:51,572
And Zoreaux is there.
388
00:17:53,365 --> 00:17:54,408
Nice stop!
389
00:17:54,491 --> 00:17:56,493
That's a solid save from Zorro.
390
00:17:56,577 --> 00:17:58,328
Yeah, Chris. It's pronounced "Zoreaux."
391
00:17:58,871 --> 00:18:02,583
Thirty minutes gone. Richmond with
an opportunity here on the counterattack.
392
00:18:02,666 --> 00:18:05,377
Obisanya with
an inch-perfect through ball.
393
00:18:05,460 --> 00:18:07,796
-[whistle blows]
-Oh! Winchester was clearly offside.
394
00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:09,173
Come on, now!
395
00:18:09,256 --> 00:18:11,216
-Explain to me how that's offsides.
-What?
396
00:18:11,300 --> 00:18:14,720
No, I'm serious. How is that offside?
I don't understand that yet. You--
397
00:18:15,345 --> 00:18:18,348
[Arlo] And here comes Lasso's
assistant coach to review their tactics.
398
00:18:18,432 --> 00:18:20,100
What chess moves do they have in store?
399
00:18:20,184 --> 00:18:22,352
When the vinegar was next
to the Heineken, they weren't offside.
400
00:18:22,436 --> 00:18:23,979
It's not when the vinegar
catches the ball,
401
00:18:24,062 --> 00:18:25,647
it's when ketchup passes the ball.
402
00:18:25,731 --> 00:18:27,024
-Yes, I understand now.
-Okay.
403
00:18:27,107 --> 00:18:29,526
[Arlo] A shot from Dixon-- Oh!
Pushed over the bar.
404
00:18:29,610 --> 00:18:30,611
Corner, corner!
405
00:18:30,694 --> 00:18:32,905
Agony for Dixon,
but a corner for Richmond.
406
00:18:32,988 --> 00:18:34,198
[woman] Come on, Richmond!
407
00:18:34,281 --> 00:18:35,741
Corner kick, corner kick.
408
00:18:35,824 --> 00:18:37,951
-Go for the Sandman. Call Sandman.
-What? Sandman.
409
00:18:38,035 --> 00:18:40,412
Sandman! Guys, the Sandman!
410
00:18:40,954 --> 00:18:42,414
-[Dani] Sandman!
-Here we go.
411
00:18:42,497 --> 00:18:43,999
[Arlo] Rojas to take the corner.
412
00:18:45,584 --> 00:18:47,711
It's a dummy. Oh, and another one.
What is this?
413
00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:49,338
Dixon again!
414
00:18:49,421 --> 00:18:51,173
No! Hamlin saves with his foot.
415
00:18:51,256 --> 00:18:53,342
-Shit.
-[Rupert groans]
416
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:56,512
Ooh, baby, the Sandman almost
rocked 'em to sleep right there.
417
00:18:56,595 --> 00:18:59,598
-[Arlo] A bit of trickery from Ted Lasso.
-[Chris] Haven't seen that one before.
418
00:18:59,681 --> 00:19:01,850
Nice move though. Nice move.
419
00:19:01,934 --> 00:19:03,101
[whistle blows]
420
00:19:03,185 --> 00:19:06,438
[Arlo]
And that's halftime. The score is 0-0.
421
00:19:06,939 --> 00:19:09,441
Shockingly, Richmond are still in this,
422
00:19:09,525 --> 00:19:12,611
thanks to the stellar play
of Zoreaux in goal.
423
00:19:12,694 --> 00:19:14,321
Okay, well, you got-- It's Reynolds.
424
00:19:14,404 --> 00:19:16,198
No, you got to shore up your defense.
You have to--
425
00:19:16,281 --> 00:19:18,325
Okay, you know what? Never mind.
I'm just gonna go with my gut.
426
00:19:18,408 --> 00:19:19,868
Somebody check the Crystal Palace score.
427
00:19:19,952 --> 00:19:21,537
Hey, no. No, no, no. Absolutely not.
428
00:19:21,620 --> 00:19:24,498
I don't want to hear about any other game
going on any other place.
429
00:19:24,581 --> 00:19:27,209
Okay? Look, we are not playing for a tie.
430
00:19:27,292 --> 00:19:29,169
Ain't nobody here gonna kiss their sister.
431
00:19:29,753 --> 00:19:31,004
What?
432
00:19:31,713 --> 00:19:35,592
Which is an American phrase that
I'm now realizing does not exist here,
433
00:19:35,676 --> 00:19:37,261
and that's good, 'cause it's creepy,
434
00:19:37,344 --> 00:19:39,263
and I hate it myself,
I don't know why I said it.
435
00:19:39,346 --> 00:19:41,557
I think it's just the adrenaline,
the nerves and all that.
436
00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:43,642
But we are playing for a win.
437
00:19:43,725 --> 00:19:45,936
Win and in. You hear?
438
00:19:46,937 --> 00:19:49,356
-I can't hear your nods. Do you hear me?
-Yes, Coach.
439
00:19:49,439 --> 00:19:51,942
Okay, good. All right.
Roy, you are starting the second half.
440
00:19:52,025 --> 00:19:53,527
Go ahead and start warming up. Let's go.
441
00:19:53,610 --> 00:19:54,862
Gentlemen, follow me.
442
00:19:59,283 --> 00:20:02,077
And here comes Roy Kent.
443
00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:04,913
-[crowd cheering]
-Roy-o!
444
00:20:05,497 --> 00:20:07,457
[Arlo] A surprising move from Lasso.
445
00:20:07,541 --> 00:20:09,835
Manchester City's speed
is causing Richmond problems,
446
00:20:09,918 --> 00:20:14,256
and he brings on Roy Kent,
who is, to be polite, very slow.
447
00:20:14,339 --> 00:20:17,009
That's 'cause he's a fucking octogenarian.
Look at him.
448
00:20:17,092 --> 00:20:19,052
[Arlo] City with a real opportunity here.
449
00:20:19,136 --> 00:20:20,846
Scharfenberg into the box.
450
00:20:20,929 --> 00:20:23,599
-[whistle blows]
-Oh, it's a penalty against Richmond.
451
00:20:23,682 --> 00:20:25,601
-How? How?
-[man] He didn't touch him!
452
00:20:25,684 --> 00:20:29,062
[Arlo]
Zoreaux in position. Hendrick to take.
453
00:20:31,231 --> 00:20:32,608
He scores.
454
00:20:32,691 --> 00:20:34,568
[shrieks]
455
00:20:35,444 --> 00:20:38,906
City finally get past Zoreaux,
and it's 1-0.
456
00:20:38,989 --> 00:20:40,949
It's the goal that's been coming.
457
00:20:41,033 --> 00:20:44,661
City take the lead,
and the Dogtrack falls silent.
458
00:20:44,745 --> 00:20:47,664
We're only one goal down.
There's still a chance. Come on, Richmond!
459
00:20:47,748 --> 00:20:49,166
I love you when you give a shit.
460
00:20:49,249 --> 00:20:52,085
Go, Richmond!
461
00:20:52,169 --> 00:20:54,254
[Arlo] Jamie Tartt with the breakaway.
462
00:20:54,338 --> 00:20:57,174
If he scores here,
it could be curtains for Richmond.
463
00:20:58,175 --> 00:20:59,384
No one can catch him.
464
00:21:00,511 --> 00:21:01,470
Go, Roy, go!
465
00:21:03,889 --> 00:21:07,976
Hold on. Can you believe it? It's Kent!
466
00:21:12,022 --> 00:21:13,857
Yeah! Attaboy, Roy!
467
00:21:13,941 --> 00:21:15,234
Roy! Roy!
468
00:21:15,317 --> 00:21:18,946
[Arlo] Once again,
the tortoise has stopped the hare.
469
00:21:19,029 --> 00:21:21,365
That's how you put him down, Roy!
470
00:21:24,868 --> 00:21:25,953
What's the matter?
471
00:21:26,620 --> 00:21:27,663
He's not getting up.
472
00:21:27,746 --> 00:21:29,706
-[Arlo] Now this looks serious.
-[Roy groans]
473
00:21:29,790 --> 00:21:33,168
It was a fair tackle on Tartt,
but Kent may have paid the price.
474
00:21:33,252 --> 00:21:35,254
-And they're sending out the physio.
-[man] Get up, Roy!
475
00:21:35,337 --> 00:21:37,172
Roy. Roy, are you okay?
476
00:21:37,256 --> 00:21:40,175
Fuck. I fucked my knee.
477
00:21:40,259 --> 00:21:43,053
-Want me to call for the stretcher, Roy?
-No, just help me up.
478
00:21:43,136 --> 00:21:46,139
[fans chanting] Roy Kent!
He's here, he's there...
479
00:21:46,223 --> 00:21:47,599
What the fuck are you doing?
480
00:21:47,683 --> 00:21:49,268
...he's every-fucking-where. Roy Kent!
481
00:21:49,351 --> 00:21:50,352
Listen.
482
00:21:50,435 --> 00:21:53,313
Roy Kent! He's here, he's there,
483
00:21:53,397 --> 00:21:55,440
he's every-fucking-where. Roy Kent!
484
00:21:55,941 --> 00:21:58,819
Roy Kent! He's here, he's there,
485
00:21:58,902 --> 00:22:03,323
he's every-fucking-where.
Roy Kent! Roy Kent!
486
00:22:03,407 --> 00:22:06,159
He's here, he's there,
he's every-fucking-where.
487
00:22:06,243 --> 00:22:07,452
Roy Kent!
488
00:22:07,536 --> 00:22:11,957
[Arlo] Well, we apologize for the fruity
language as the crowd serenades Roy Kent
489
00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:15,878
with a song that's echoed through
the Premier League for more than a decade.
490
00:22:15,961 --> 00:22:18,380
He's here, he's there,
he's every-fucking-where...
491
00:22:18,463 --> 00:22:19,840
[Arlo] And he's getting up.
492
00:22:19,923 --> 00:22:22,301
-Roy Kent!
-[cheering]
493
00:22:22,384 --> 00:22:24,636
[Chris]
Roy Kent will never leave on a stretcher.
494
00:22:26,138 --> 00:22:32,269
Roy Kent! He's here, he's there,
he's every-fucking-where! Roy Kent!
495
00:22:32,352 --> 00:22:33,770
Roy Kent!
496
00:22:34,271 --> 00:22:36,940
He's here, he's there,
he's every-fucking-where!
497
00:22:37,024 --> 00:22:40,360
Roy Kent! Roy Kent!
498
00:22:40,819 --> 00:22:43,906
[Arlo] As Kent comes off,
he claps the fans in gratitude.
499
00:22:43,989 --> 00:22:45,490
-[applause]
-Kent has been a fan favorite
500
00:22:45,574 --> 00:22:48,827
because he always left everything he had
out on the pitch,
501
00:22:48,911 --> 00:22:50,412
and he did so tonight.
502
00:22:52,497 --> 00:22:54,333
[fans continue chanting]
503
00:22:54,416 --> 00:22:57,753
Chris, does this almost feel
like a farewell to you?
504
00:22:59,671 --> 00:23:01,215
[Chris] Well, you have to wonder, Arlo.
505
00:23:01,298 --> 00:23:03,842
At his age, with that injury...
506
00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:06,428
Personally, I'm sorry to say,
507
00:23:06,512 --> 00:23:10,766
I think this may be the last time we ever
see the great Roy Kent lace up his boots.
508
00:23:28,492 --> 00:23:30,410
You're not allowed back here
during a game.
509
00:23:35,040 --> 00:23:36,625
I told you, you have to get out.
510
00:23:39,044 --> 00:23:41,088
I mean it. Stay the fuck away from me.
511
00:24:03,443 --> 00:24:06,697
[phones chiming]
512
00:24:06,780 --> 00:24:09,408
[chattering]
513
00:24:13,453 --> 00:24:15,330
-What the heck is going on--
-[shushing]
514
00:24:16,290 --> 00:24:18,917
That's the sound of 26,000 people
checking mobiles.
515
00:24:20,169 --> 00:24:22,671
[fans cheering]
516
00:24:23,338 --> 00:24:25,549
Oh, my God. Palace won 6-0.
517
00:24:26,175 --> 00:24:27,342
But then that means...
518
00:24:28,218 --> 00:24:29,511
All we need is a tie.
519
00:24:29,595 --> 00:24:32,347
-We just need a tie, boys!
-We just need a tie!
520
00:24:32,431 --> 00:24:33,974
[Ted] Come on! Let's go!
521
00:24:35,767 --> 00:24:37,269
Come on, Richmond!
522
00:24:39,104 --> 00:24:43,525
Three minutes of added time
is all that's left in Richmond's season.
523
00:24:43,609 --> 00:24:45,402
Montlaur runs left.
524
00:24:45,485 --> 00:24:47,487
-[whistle blows]
-Ooh! Fouled hard by Scharfenberg.
525
00:24:48,155 --> 00:24:50,240
There you go, Richard!
You sell the crap outta that!
526
00:24:50,324 --> 00:24:53,535
[Arlo]
Montlaur earns Richmond a late free kick.
527
00:24:53,619 --> 00:24:55,454
I think he's making a meal of it, Arlo.
528
00:24:55,537 --> 00:24:57,414
City players do too.
529
00:24:57,497 --> 00:25:01,210
[Arlo] No, Chris. He's definitely hurt.
No, no, he's absolutely fine.
530
00:25:01,293 --> 00:25:02,586
Yeah!
531
00:25:02,669 --> 00:25:06,757
Oi! Lasso Special! Lasso Special!
532
00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:08,091
Holy smokes.
533
00:25:08,634 --> 00:25:09,718
Lasso Special!
534
00:25:09,801 --> 00:25:12,137
[Arlo] Manchester City are more worried
about yelling at the official
535
00:25:12,221 --> 00:25:14,932
than they are about...
whatever it is Richmond are doing.
536
00:25:15,015 --> 00:25:16,934
-Hold on, hold on.
-Actually, what are they doing?
537
00:25:17,017 --> 00:25:18,977
Ref! They can't do that!
What are you doing?
538
00:25:19,061 --> 00:25:21,396
They're gonna run it. I didn't even
call it. They're gonna just run it!
539
00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:24,149
[Arlo] I don't know what's going on here,
but it looks like...
540
00:25:24,233 --> 00:25:25,943
Is this American football?
541
00:25:26,818 --> 00:25:28,737
What the fuck is that?
542
00:25:29,488 --> 00:25:30,489
What's he doing?
543
00:25:30,572 --> 00:25:32,574
[Chris]
I've never seen anything like this.
544
00:25:33,242 --> 00:25:34,618
-[Zoreaux] Motion!
-Get in line!
545
00:25:35,452 --> 00:25:37,454
[Arlo] Obisanya goes in motion.
546
00:25:38,789 --> 00:25:41,667
If Richmond are trying to confuse
Manchester City,
547
00:25:41,750 --> 00:25:44,044
you have to say it's working.
548
00:25:44,127 --> 00:25:46,046
[Chris] It's working on me too, Arlo.
549
00:25:46,129 --> 00:25:47,130
Blue 48!
550
00:25:47,214 --> 00:25:49,299
[Arlo]
Is Zoreaux yelling numbers and colors?
551
00:25:49,383 --> 00:25:50,843
Hut, hut, hut! Hike!
552
00:25:50,926 --> 00:25:53,929
[Richmond players]
One, two, three, four...
553
00:25:54,680 --> 00:25:58,016
[Arlo] The Richmond players fan out.
City's defense is in chaos.
554
00:25:58,100 --> 00:26:02,521
And it's a Hail Mary to Obisanya,
who is wide open!
555
00:26:02,604 --> 00:26:04,231
Rojas is all alone on the left.
556
00:26:04,314 --> 00:26:05,649
-Dani's onside.
-Yeah, he is.
557
00:26:12,155 --> 00:26:13,490
[Arlo] Rojas!
558
00:26:14,366 --> 00:26:17,286
[cheering]
559
00:26:19,413 --> 00:26:20,539
-Yes!
-Yeah!
560
00:26:22,040 --> 00:26:24,585
[Arlo] The injury time equalizer
from Dani Rojas,
561
00:26:24,668 --> 00:26:27,504
surely enough to keep Richmond
in the Premier League!
562
00:26:29,590 --> 00:26:32,593
[together] We got a tie! We got a tie!
563
00:26:32,676 --> 00:26:35,137
-Yeah!
-We're staying in!
564
00:26:40,934 --> 00:26:42,144
[shouts]
565
00:26:44,021 --> 00:26:45,022
Coach!
566
00:26:45,105 --> 00:26:48,150
[Arlo] Straight from the kickoff,
oh, City are back on the attack.
567
00:26:48,233 --> 00:26:51,403
There he is again.
Ooh, Tartt loses Winchester with ease.
568
00:26:51,486 --> 00:26:53,197
It's only him and the goalkeeper.
569
00:26:53,280 --> 00:26:54,198
No.
570
00:26:56,325 --> 00:26:58,577
Oh, he makes the extra pass.
571
00:26:58,660 --> 00:27:00,412
Hendrick buries it.
572
00:27:00,495 --> 00:27:01,663
[whistle blows]
573
00:27:03,957 --> 00:27:05,042
[sighs]
574
00:27:06,084 --> 00:27:08,253
Manchester City win,
575
00:27:08,337 --> 00:27:12,633
and AFC Richmond's time
in the Premier League is over.
576
00:27:13,884 --> 00:27:16,887
[pop song playing]
577
00:27:38,575 --> 00:27:40,619
[Ted] We can "woulda, coulda, shoulda"
all day long,
578
00:27:40,702 --> 00:27:44,081
but, uh, that's-- it's a tough loss.
It's a tough loss.
579
00:27:45,374 --> 00:27:46,625
It's over.
580
00:27:46,708 --> 00:27:50,546
I do wanna congratulate Man City
on their win though, and their coach, Pep.
581
00:27:50,629 --> 00:27:53,340
Boy, did he look sharp tonight.
Yeah, my man...
582
00:27:54,091 --> 00:27:55,884
[Ted continues, indistinct]
583
00:27:55,968 --> 00:27:57,344
[phone chimes]
584
00:28:04,685 --> 00:28:07,020
[song continues]
585
00:28:08,063 --> 00:28:09,523
[man grunts]
586
00:28:10,482 --> 00:28:13,527
You! Do you really think I would've come
all the way down to London
587
00:28:13,610 --> 00:28:15,612
to watch my son pass the ball?
588
00:28:16,905 --> 00:28:20,576
You could've scored the winner.
You're better than that, Jamie. Fuck!
589
00:28:26,039 --> 00:28:27,291
[Ted sighs]
590
00:28:28,834 --> 00:28:29,918
[song fades]
591
00:28:31,211 --> 00:28:32,379
So, look, I--
592
00:28:33,422 --> 00:28:35,799
Oh, I'm good. Thank you. Yeah.
593
00:28:41,096 --> 00:28:43,682
Hey. Y'all played
a heck of a game out there.
594
00:28:43,765 --> 00:28:47,352
We may not have won,
but y'all definitely succeeded.
595
00:28:47,436 --> 00:28:50,355
I mean, you gave the champs
90 minutes of hell.
596
00:28:51,064 --> 00:28:52,149
Zoreaux, where you at?
597
00:28:52,232 --> 00:28:54,776
That dude had more saves
than a Baptist preacher.
598
00:28:54,860 --> 00:28:56,904
Give it up for Zoreaux. Yeah.
599
00:28:58,280 --> 00:29:02,451
That's right. What about Roy?
Roy chased down his grandson.
600
00:29:02,534 --> 00:29:05,454
-[players chuckling]
-Stopped him from getting an easy one.
601
00:29:08,665 --> 00:29:12,127
Now, look, this is a sad moment
right here. For all of us.
602
00:29:12,211 --> 00:29:14,087
And there ain't nothing I can say,
603
00:29:14,171 --> 00:29:16,965
standing in front of you right now,
that can take that away.
604
00:29:17,049 --> 00:29:18,884
But please do me this favor, will you?
605
00:29:20,385 --> 00:29:22,679
Lift your heads up
and look around this locker room.
606
00:29:23,138 --> 00:29:24,181
Yeah?
607
00:29:26,266 --> 00:29:27,768
Look at everybody else in here.
608
00:29:29,603 --> 00:29:31,313
And I want you to be grateful
609
00:29:31,396 --> 00:29:36,276
that you're going through this sad moment
with all these other folks.
610
00:29:37,569 --> 00:29:40,239
Because I promise you,
611
00:29:40,322 --> 00:29:42,783
there is something worse out there
than being sad,
612
00:29:42,866 --> 00:29:45,202
and that is being alone and being sad.
613
00:29:47,621 --> 00:29:49,540
Ain't nobody in this room alone.
614
00:29:52,918 --> 00:29:56,839
Sam, do you remember
what animal has the shortest memory?
615
00:29:57,464 --> 00:29:58,590
A goldfish.
616
00:29:58,674 --> 00:30:00,676
That's right. It's a goldfish.
617
00:30:00,759 --> 00:30:03,220
Sam, what do you think we should all do
618
00:30:03,303 --> 00:30:07,641
once we get done being sad and/or angry
about this situation?
619
00:30:08,809 --> 00:30:10,519
I think we should all be a goldfish.
620
00:30:10,602 --> 00:30:11,603
[Ted] I agree.
621
00:30:12,312 --> 00:30:14,815
Let's be sad now. Let's be sad together.
622
00:30:14,898 --> 00:30:16,984
And then we can be a gosh-darn goldfish.
623
00:30:19,862 --> 00:30:21,405
Onward. Forward.
624
00:30:22,281 --> 00:30:24,408
[song continues]
625
00:30:33,417 --> 00:30:34,418
What do you want?
626
00:30:39,882 --> 00:30:40,883
Night, Jamie.
627
00:30:40,966 --> 00:30:43,093
[song continues]
628
00:30:43,177 --> 00:30:44,261
A love letter?
629
00:31:14,833 --> 00:31:16,335
[song ends]
630
00:31:16,418 --> 00:31:18,420
-We'll have a conversation about that.
-[knocking]
631
00:31:19,129 --> 00:31:20,130
Hey, y'all.
632
00:31:20,214 --> 00:31:22,382
-I'll leave you two to talk.
-Thank you, Leslie.
633
00:31:24,092 --> 00:31:26,178
Leslie? Is that your first name?
634
00:31:26,261 --> 00:31:29,848
It was my mother's name.
I'm what's known as a feminine junior.
635
00:31:30,349 --> 00:31:32,518
-Oh. Cool.
-[chuckles]
636
00:31:36,480 --> 00:31:37,648
Please. Take a seat.
637
00:31:39,900 --> 00:31:40,901
[clears throat]
638
00:31:42,945 --> 00:31:43,946
Tea?
639
00:31:44,029 --> 00:31:46,865
No. Tea and I
are still on a lifelong hiatus, yeah.
640
00:31:46,949 --> 00:31:48,784
I'll take a little water though, please.
641
00:31:48,867 --> 00:31:52,162
Well, Ted.
That was certainly a heartbreaking result.
642
00:31:52,246 --> 00:31:53,872
Yes, ma'am.
And I've been thinking about it.
643
00:31:53,956 --> 00:31:57,251
I think it's mighty unfair
that you have to fire me, so...
644
00:31:57,334 --> 00:32:00,671
If it's all the same to you, I'd like
to spare you the trouble and just quit.
645
00:32:01,547 --> 00:32:05,133
Um, this here is my letter of resignation.
646
00:32:05,217 --> 00:32:08,220
Um... I wrote it on the back
of a takeout menu,
647
00:32:08,303 --> 00:32:11,223
but it's in an envelope, and I signed it,
so, you know, it's legit.
648
00:32:11,306 --> 00:32:13,433
You listen to me, Coach Lasso.
649
00:32:13,517 --> 00:32:19,439
You are not going anywhere,
'cause we have work to do next season.
650
00:32:23,861 --> 00:32:25,821
Well, okay. All right, then.
651
00:32:26,530 --> 00:32:28,782
Yeah. So, wait. Tell me this, though.
652
00:32:28,866 --> 00:32:32,077
The teams that get relegated,
they can get, uh, un-relegated, yeah?
653
00:32:32,160 --> 00:32:33,579
They can get promoted.
654
00:32:33,662 --> 00:32:35,747
So then, next year
we get ourselves a promotion,
655
00:32:35,831 --> 00:32:37,916
which looks good on any résumé.
656
00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:39,585
Then we come back to this league and...
657
00:32:40,627 --> 00:32:43,255
we do something that
no one believes we could ever do.
658
00:32:44,965 --> 00:32:46,300
Win the whole fucking thing.
659
00:32:48,760 --> 00:32:50,387
-There you are.
-[both chuckle]
660
00:32:51,471 --> 00:32:53,807
[sputters, groans]
661
00:32:53,891 --> 00:32:55,058
The bubbles. [coughs]
662
00:32:55,142 --> 00:32:57,227
I'm sorry. Did I get you?
663
00:33:00,189 --> 00:33:03,192
[woman singing in French]