1 00:00:01,752 --> 00:00:04,755 ["Hand in My Pocket" playing] 2 00:00:09,426 --> 00:00:11,470 [song continues through speakers] 3 00:00:11,553 --> 00:00:13,138 Hi, how you doing? 4 00:00:14,056 --> 00:00:15,098 You new around here? 5 00:00:15,182 --> 00:00:16,308 To planet Earth? 6 00:00:17,351 --> 00:00:18,644 No, I'm 13. 7 00:00:18,727 --> 00:00:22,147 But I'm also fairly certain this is my third life reincarnated. 8 00:00:22,231 --> 00:00:24,066 [whistles] Well, color me impressed 9 00:00:24,149 --> 00:00:27,194 'cause my third lap around this big blue marble I was nothing but a horsefly. 10 00:00:27,277 --> 00:00:29,863 -Oh, I've never seen a horse fly. -No? 11 00:00:29,947 --> 00:00:32,241 Saw a horse pee once. 12 00:00:32,323 --> 00:00:33,534 That was a lot. 13 00:00:33,617 --> 00:00:35,410 Yeah. Noisy too. 14 00:00:35,494 --> 00:00:36,912 [chuckles] 15 00:00:38,288 --> 00:00:41,667 To be honest, now that my lower back tattoo's completely gone, 16 00:00:41,750 --> 00:00:42,835 I kinda miss it. 17 00:00:42,918 --> 00:00:43,961 -Mmm. -[door opens] 18 00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:47,673 Here comes the biscuits train! Choo choo! [chuckles] 19 00:00:47,756 --> 00:00:48,882 Sassy Smurf! 20 00:00:48,966 --> 00:00:50,342 -Marlboro Man. -What? 21 00:00:50,425 --> 00:00:51,343 -[laughs] -Hey! Hey! 22 00:00:52,511 --> 00:00:55,013 -All right! How about that? Yeah. -[giggles] 23 00:00:55,097 --> 00:00:56,849 -Here you go, boss. -Thank you. 24 00:00:56,932 --> 00:00:58,267 Uh, hey, who's the new receptionist? 25 00:00:58,350 --> 00:00:59,893 Oh, that's Nora, my daughter. 26 00:00:59,977 --> 00:01:01,353 Oh, okay. Wait… 27 00:01:04,063 --> 00:01:05,065 Is she mine? 28 00:01:05,147 --> 00:01:07,860 Ted, we had sex like six months ago. 29 00:01:07,943 --> 00:01:10,237 Right, right, right, right. Sorry. Yeah, bad math. [chuckles] 30 00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:11,780 And if memory serves, you finished on my-- 31 00:01:11,864 --> 00:01:14,157 Hey! [babbles] Yeah. 32 00:01:14,241 --> 00:01:16,326 No reason to get into the science of it all 33 00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:18,078 in front of the boss here, you know. 34 00:01:18,161 --> 00:01:19,496 So, uh… [clears throat] anyhoo… 35 00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:21,665 What's the hap, Sass? What brings your fun buns in town, huh? 36 00:01:21,748 --> 00:01:26,128 I'm speaking at a conference in Brighton. So Nora is staying with Stinky here. 37 00:01:26,211 --> 00:01:27,921 Yes, and I am going to make good 38 00:01:28,005 --> 00:01:30,757 on every single one of her wishes from the last six years. 39 00:01:30,841 --> 00:01:33,051 -Aw. -Hmm, just make sure one of those wishes 40 00:01:33,135 --> 00:01:35,387 is a spare tampon then, Miss Fairy Godmother. 41 00:01:36,889 --> 00:01:38,056 -Oh. -Mmm. 42 00:01:38,140 --> 00:01:40,726 That girl is an errant cobblestone away from her first period. 43 00:01:42,477 --> 00:01:44,563 Well, bibbidi-bobbidi-booyah. You know. [chuckles] 44 00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:48,358 Always good to see ya, Sass. [laughs] Straight shooter. 45 00:01:49,193 --> 00:01:51,403 Okay, I'll let you ladies get back to it. All right? TTFN. Yeah? 46 00:01:52,321 --> 00:01:53,363 Oh, hey, you know what? 47 00:01:53,447 --> 00:01:56,783 What do you say we do what the man says and make today our masterpiece, yeah? 48 00:01:57,993 --> 00:01:59,661 [clicks tongue] Okay. 49 00:02:02,164 --> 00:02:05,834 -Did he talk like that when-- -The whole time and so eager to please. 50 00:02:05,918 --> 00:02:07,085 Hmm. 51 00:02:07,169 --> 00:02:08,586 It was fabulous. 52 00:02:08,669 --> 00:02:09,922 Hmm. [grunts] 53 00:02:10,547 --> 00:02:12,799 [theme music plays] 54 00:02:32,611 --> 00:02:34,029 -[male reporter 1] Ted! -[male reporter 2] Coach! 55 00:02:34,112 --> 00:02:36,031 All right, Lloyd, why don't you go all Pat Benatar on me, yeah? 56 00:02:36,114 --> 00:02:37,908 And hit you with my best shot? 57 00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:39,952 -Fire away. -Yes! 58 00:02:40,035 --> 00:02:43,705 So, you've got Coventry City this weekend, where you're heavily favored. 59 00:02:43,789 --> 00:02:46,375 You think this'll end your team's embarrassing streak of draws? 60 00:02:46,458 --> 00:02:49,795 Oh, Lloyd, I've never been embarrassed about having streaks in my drawers. 61 00:02:49,878 --> 00:02:52,047 -It's all part of growing up. Yeah? -[reporters laughing] 62 00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:53,340 All right, who else? 63 00:02:53,423 --> 00:02:54,424 Yes, sir. 64 00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:55,884 Trent Crimm, The Independent. 65 00:02:55,968 --> 00:02:58,512 Hi, Trent. Make like Dunst and Union and bring it on, baby. 66 00:02:58,595 --> 00:02:59,847 Hmm. 67 00:02:59,930 --> 00:03:03,559 Ted, you're known for creating a great environment in the locker room, 68 00:03:03,642 --> 00:03:06,895 but do you think the return of the prodigal son, Jamie Tartt, 69 00:03:06,979 --> 00:03:09,773 will impact that so-called "vibe"? 70 00:03:09,857 --> 00:03:12,067 Hmm. Well, I don't think so, Trent. 71 00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:14,570 Yeah. I believe that Jamie's on a path to becoming a better man 72 00:03:14,653 --> 00:03:16,405 and I'm just here to help him along that journey. 73 00:03:16,488 --> 00:03:18,782 You know, think of me as his own personal Mr. Miyagi. 74 00:03:19,992 --> 00:03:22,411 Except without all that extra yard work. Yeah. 75 00:03:22,494 --> 00:03:24,496 [players chattering] 76 00:03:29,376 --> 00:03:31,628 -[Keeley] Knock knock! -Hey! 77 00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:34,006 Sam, I think I have something you might wanna see. 78 00:03:34,089 --> 00:03:35,090 Okay? 79 00:03:35,174 --> 00:03:37,885 You wanna look at your photos from the Dubai Air shoot? 80 00:03:37,968 --> 00:03:39,094 Ooh! Yes, please. 81 00:03:39,178 --> 00:03:41,263 Oh, God. I'm very nervous. But also very excited. 82 00:03:41,346 --> 00:03:44,099 That's similar to whenever Colin drives me somewhere in his Lamborghini. 83 00:03:44,183 --> 00:03:45,934 Aye, it's true. It's way too much car for me. 84 00:03:46,643 --> 00:03:50,063 -Look at you! I mean, come on. -Oh, wow! 85 00:03:50,147 --> 00:03:52,816 You're a mood. You're a moment. You're a mantra. 86 00:03:52,900 --> 00:03:54,568 Those sound like compliments. Thank you. 87 00:03:54,651 --> 00:03:57,029 Bruh, I'm confused. Is this an ad for ugly people? 88 00:03:57,112 --> 00:03:58,488 [laughter] 89 00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:01,325 Congratulations, amigo. I can't wait to see these up in a tube station. 90 00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:03,368 -[chuckles] -Yeah, so I can draw a dick on his face. 91 00:04:03,452 --> 00:04:04,870 -[laughs] -Ah, yeah! 92 00:04:04,953 --> 00:04:06,830 Bro, why you wearing your kit on the plane? 93 00:04:06,914 --> 00:04:08,457 [players laugh] 94 00:04:08,540 --> 00:04:10,626 'Cause it's the only way they'll know he's a footballer. 95 00:04:10,709 --> 00:04:12,044 [silence] 96 00:04:14,838 --> 00:04:17,132 [Thierry] Anyways, man. Um, what are we… 97 00:04:17,216 --> 00:04:19,134 -The pictures are so great. -Thank you so much. 98 00:04:19,218 --> 00:04:20,844 -Yeah, I'm so proud of you! -Thanks. 99 00:04:20,928 --> 00:04:22,304 -I'll see you later. -I'll see you later. 100 00:04:22,387 --> 00:04:24,681 Oh, boys. Will you remember to sign up 101 00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:27,100 for that new dating app I emailed you all about? 102 00:04:27,184 --> 00:04:29,353 It would really help draw some traction 103 00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:31,855 if there were some young, hot footballers on there. 104 00:04:31,939 --> 00:04:33,023 Yeah, well… 105 00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:34,525 Keeley, Keeley, uh, what was the name again? 106 00:04:34,608 --> 00:04:37,819 Bantr. B-A-N-T-R. 107 00:04:37,903 --> 00:04:38,987 Ah, like Grindr. 108 00:04:40,405 --> 00:04:41,949 Yeah. 109 00:04:42,032 --> 00:04:44,034 Well, promise me you'll just check it out? 110 00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:45,911 -Of course. -You're the best! [kisses] 111 00:04:45,994 --> 00:04:47,246 -[chattering] -[Keeley] Bye! 112 00:04:47,996 --> 00:04:50,457 Okay, fellas. Got a big game this weekend. 113 00:04:50,541 --> 00:04:52,626 -What are we looking at, Coach? -Very physical. 114 00:04:52,709 --> 00:04:55,045 -Okay. All right. Anything else? -Borderline violent. 115 00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:56,421 [Ted] Mm-hmm. You heard the man. 116 00:04:56,505 --> 00:04:58,632 Still can't believe y'all don't have pads in this sport. It's amazing. 117 00:04:58,715 --> 00:05:01,343 Sorry, Coach. Um, do you mind if I say something, please? 118 00:05:01,426 --> 00:05:03,971 [stammers] Yeah. No, sure, Jamie. Come on. Yeah. 119 00:05:05,055 --> 00:05:06,056 Thanks. 120 00:05:10,561 --> 00:05:12,229 I know I wasn't the greatest teammate. 121 00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:15,983 I did some shitty things. I said some shitty things. 122 00:05:16,066 --> 00:05:19,319 But I want each and every one of you to know that I'm truly sorry 123 00:05:19,403 --> 00:05:22,656 and I'm ready to do whatever it takes to make it up to ya. Yeah? 124 00:05:24,950 --> 00:05:26,910 You called me a jaundiced worm. 125 00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:28,745 Right, yeah. And I'm sorry about that, Colin. 126 00:05:28,829 --> 00:05:30,664 In a profile for my hometown paper. 127 00:05:31,790 --> 00:05:33,125 You hit on my mum. 128 00:05:34,168 --> 00:05:35,294 In front of my dad. 129 00:05:35,377 --> 00:05:38,046 [stammers] I apologize for that, Bumbercatch. 130 00:05:38,130 --> 00:05:40,257 Uh, please tell your father I'm sorry. 131 00:05:40,757 --> 00:05:42,301 Um, and give Janet me best, yeah? 132 00:05:43,969 --> 00:05:47,639 [speaks French] 133 00:05:48,557 --> 00:05:49,641 [Ted] Uh… 134 00:05:49,725 --> 00:05:53,270 Oh, he said that you cupped a fart and put it in his face. 135 00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:54,521 [players muttering] 136 00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:56,481 Sounds better in French. 137 00:05:56,565 --> 00:06:00,235 Yeah. I know. I do-- I do remember that and I'm-- I'm sorry. 138 00:06:00,319 --> 00:06:02,362 Um… Hey, is there anyone else? 139 00:06:02,446 --> 00:06:03,697 You got us relegated, mate. 140 00:06:03,780 --> 00:06:05,908 [clamoring] 141 00:06:07,743 --> 00:06:09,536 I don't know you, but I don't like you. 142 00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:14,833 I am not a worm. 143 00:06:14,917 --> 00:06:16,585 Okay. Okay, okay, fellas. All right. That's good. 144 00:06:16,668 --> 00:06:18,795 Good apology. Way to get the ball rolling. Okay. Come on, guys. Let's go. 145 00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:20,088 Let's get out on the pitch. Settle it out there. 146 00:06:20,172 --> 00:06:21,924 Let's go, Richmond! 147 00:06:22,007 --> 00:06:23,675 [Ted] Here we go now. Come on. 148 00:06:27,346 --> 00:06:30,599 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. 149 00:06:30,682 --> 00:06:33,685 [orchestral music playing] 150 00:06:34,311 --> 00:06:36,271 I remember the last time I brought you here 151 00:06:36,355 --> 00:06:39,483 we played that contest of who could fit the most little sandwiches in their mouth. 152 00:06:39,566 --> 00:06:42,486 [chuckles] Yeah. That was a while ago. 153 00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:43,862 [sips, swallows] 154 00:06:45,197 --> 00:06:47,115 [girl speaks indistinctly] 155 00:06:49,701 --> 00:06:52,454 -[Rebecca] Oh, this is silly, isn't it? -[Nora] No, not at all. 156 00:06:52,538 --> 00:06:54,623 Don't know what I was thinking. You're not six anymore, are you? 157 00:06:54,706 --> 00:06:56,333 [sighs] It's fine. Really. 158 00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:58,085 Should we go somewhere else though? 159 00:06:58,669 --> 00:07:00,671 -Yes. -I'll get the bill. [giggles] 160 00:07:01,588 --> 00:07:04,258 Then you're coming back, right? 161 00:07:04,341 --> 00:07:05,425 Yes, why? 162 00:07:05,509 --> 00:07:08,554 Ah, just making sure you're not gonna disappear for another six years. 163 00:07:10,597 --> 00:07:11,598 I'm joking. 164 00:07:11,682 --> 00:07:12,683 [sighs] 165 00:07:13,225 --> 00:07:14,726 Okay, I deserved that. [chuckles] 166 00:07:18,564 --> 00:07:19,857 [chattering] 167 00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:22,651 -[assistant coach speaking Spanish] -[whistle blows] 168 00:07:22,734 --> 00:07:26,822 All right, fellas, I think we've all had enough of this amuse-bouche. 169 00:07:26,905 --> 00:07:28,991 Time to move on to the main course. 170 00:07:29,074 --> 00:07:31,910 -Chef Beard, what's on the menu? -11 v 11. Let's go! 171 00:07:31,994 --> 00:07:34,496 -[blows whistle] -[cheers] Let's go! Let's go! 172 00:07:36,081 --> 00:07:38,250 Hey, Jamie. Come here real quick. 173 00:07:39,209 --> 00:07:41,587 Yeah, there you go. Yeah, keep them hips loose. 174 00:07:42,212 --> 00:07:44,089 That's it. Take your time. Love it. 175 00:07:44,173 --> 00:07:45,632 Boy, I wish I could move like that. 176 00:07:45,716 --> 00:07:47,134 -To be so young. -Yeah. 177 00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:49,761 So, hey, we're gonna start you out on the reserve squad, all right? 178 00:07:49,845 --> 00:07:51,096 No problem, Coach. Yeah. 179 00:07:51,180 --> 00:07:53,765 Figure it would be good for the fellas to see ya earn your spot back. 180 00:07:53,849 --> 00:07:56,435 [panting] Smart. Yeah. 181 00:07:56,518 --> 00:07:59,521 Nothing more likable than watching somebody humbly overcome adversity 182 00:07:59,605 --> 00:08:01,523 with their effortless God-given talent. Pow. 183 00:08:01,607 --> 00:08:03,775 Hey, just do me a favor. Don't try to do too much out there, all right? 184 00:08:03,859 --> 00:08:05,152 I know what you mean, Coach. 185 00:08:05,235 --> 00:08:06,486 Yeah. 186 00:08:08,113 --> 00:08:10,157 Mr. Kit man! Hit me! 187 00:08:11,074 --> 00:08:12,826 -Hey, you think he heard me? -I do. 188 00:08:12,910 --> 00:08:14,828 -Think he gonna listen to me? -I do not. 189 00:08:14,912 --> 00:08:18,624 -Yeah. -They are going to kill him. [chuckles] 190 00:08:21,418 --> 00:08:24,671 Sorry. He just-- He just wasn't very nice to me either, so… 191 00:08:24,755 --> 00:08:26,965 -[Ted grunts] -[Nathan chuckles] 192 00:08:27,049 --> 00:08:28,550 -Go, go! -[players yelling] 193 00:08:31,678 --> 00:08:33,013 [player 1] Jamie! Jamie! 194 00:08:33,096 --> 00:08:34,222 [player yelling] 195 00:08:34,306 --> 00:08:36,767 -[player 2] Jamie. Jamie! Jamie! -Yeah! 196 00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:38,018 -[grunts] -Oof! 197 00:08:38,684 --> 00:08:39,937 [player 3] Whoo! 198 00:08:40,729 --> 00:08:43,524 Hey, while you were off filming your little TV show, 199 00:08:43,607 --> 00:08:45,317 some things changed around here. 200 00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:47,027 Don't bring that weak rubbish my way. 201 00:08:49,738 --> 00:08:52,491 Let's go, boys! Let's go! 202 00:08:52,574 --> 00:08:54,952 Come on, come on! Let's go! 203 00:08:59,081 --> 00:09:00,958 -Hmm. -[Sam] Let's go! Let's go! 204 00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:02,709 Who's the worm now? 205 00:09:02,793 --> 00:09:04,002 It's not me. 206 00:09:05,295 --> 00:09:06,505 Fuck just happened? 207 00:09:07,214 --> 00:09:10,259 We could go and see a show tonight. What about The Mouse Trap? 208 00:09:10,342 --> 00:09:13,470 You know that Agatha Christie play where someone dies every performance? 209 00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:16,557 Usually in the audience. Seeing as only old people go and see it. 210 00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:18,559 -Sure. If that's what you wanna do. -[gasps] 211 00:09:18,642 --> 00:09:22,396 Oh, the British Girl Shop. Wanna pop in? 212 00:09:22,479 --> 00:09:24,356 Don't really play with dolls much anymore. 213 00:09:25,315 --> 00:09:26,692 No, of course not. 214 00:09:26,775 --> 00:09:30,279 Besides, why do all their dolls have to be tragically orphaned? 215 00:09:30,362 --> 00:09:32,865 -Mmm. -Edith's parents died in the war. 216 00:09:32,948 --> 00:09:34,616 -Emma's had scurvy. -[Rebecca] Yes. 217 00:09:34,700 --> 00:09:39,037 The Americans really do the historical doll concept better, don't they? 218 00:09:39,621 --> 00:09:42,457 Must be their innate sense of triumph, however misguided. 219 00:09:42,541 --> 00:09:45,210 Yeah, but no one does the orphans better than us Brits. 220 00:09:45,294 --> 00:09:46,712 [bell on door chimes] 221 00:09:46,795 --> 00:09:49,089 -[grumbles] -Thank you, Uncle Roy. 222 00:09:49,173 --> 00:09:50,174 [door closes] 223 00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:52,009 -I love her. -Oh, good. 224 00:09:56,221 --> 00:09:57,764 [cell phone chimes] 225 00:10:20,287 --> 00:10:21,788 [message chime] 226 00:10:29,463 --> 00:10:32,424 [typing] 227 00:10:48,315 --> 00:10:49,483 [sighs] 228 00:10:55,781 --> 00:10:59,785 Right, so how'd her parents die? Factory fire? Eaten by rats? 229 00:11:00,285 --> 00:11:02,663 No. Zoe's from the modern line. 230 00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:04,665 Her parents were canceled. 231 00:11:06,250 --> 00:11:09,044 So, what's happening with what's-his-name, from the steakhouse? 232 00:11:09,127 --> 00:11:10,212 Who, John? 233 00:11:10,295 --> 00:11:12,005 -Yeah. -I dumped him. 234 00:11:13,215 --> 00:11:14,842 -'Cause of what I said? -No. 235 00:11:15,717 --> 00:11:17,845 'Cause you were right about what you said. 236 00:11:17,928 --> 00:11:18,929 So what now? 237 00:11:19,012 --> 00:11:20,973 [sighs] Hell, I don't know. 238 00:11:21,682 --> 00:11:24,601 Keeley's got me on that silly dating app she's promoting. 239 00:11:24,685 --> 00:11:26,728 -The one with no pictures? -That's the one. 240 00:11:27,437 --> 00:11:31,358 What? So now you just get a bunch of unsolicited descriptions of dicks? 241 00:11:31,900 --> 00:11:34,528 Uncle Roy, can we have ice cream for dinner? 242 00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:36,029 No, that's dumb. 243 00:11:36,113 --> 00:11:39,032 You're right. Thank you for helping me set boundaries. 244 00:11:40,868 --> 00:11:44,162 -Wow, she really loves you. -I know. It's fucking annoying. 245 00:11:45,956 --> 00:11:48,667 [sighs] It's been really gorgeous reconnecting with Nora. 246 00:11:48,750 --> 00:11:51,336 And I had all these things organized. Loads of activities. 247 00:11:51,420 --> 00:11:53,046 She's not interested in any of it. 248 00:11:53,130 --> 00:11:57,301 Look, most adults think kids need to be constantly entertained. 249 00:11:57,384 --> 00:11:58,468 It's bullshit. 250 00:11:58,552 --> 00:12:01,180 I didn't need a fucking parade every day growing up, did you? 251 00:12:01,930 --> 00:12:04,474 Truth is they just wanna feel like they're part of our lives. 252 00:12:04,558 --> 00:12:05,642 -Hmm. -Little idiots. 253 00:12:05,726 --> 00:12:06,727 Watch this. 254 00:12:06,810 --> 00:12:08,812 Oi, Phoebe. 255 00:12:08,896 --> 00:12:11,356 Do you wanna come to my podiatrist appointment later? 256 00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:12,900 Yes, please! 257 00:12:20,324 --> 00:12:21,491 [knocks] 258 00:12:22,117 --> 00:12:25,204 Hey, do you fancy watching a scary movie together? 259 00:12:25,287 --> 00:12:26,455 I can make some popcorn. 260 00:12:26,538 --> 00:12:28,415 Ah, you finally learned how to cook, did you? 261 00:12:29,708 --> 00:12:31,793 [chuckles] Sounds fun. I'll be right down. 262 00:12:31,877 --> 00:12:32,878 Great. 263 00:12:34,338 --> 00:12:37,925 Oh, and, um, for tomorrow I was wondering-- 264 00:12:38,008 --> 00:12:40,511 I mean, it could be a terrible idea. 265 00:12:41,345 --> 00:12:45,682 Would you want to come to work with me for, like, the whole day 266 00:12:45,766 --> 00:12:47,768 and just join me for meetings and stuff? 267 00:12:47,851 --> 00:12:49,645 It could be tremendously boring. 268 00:12:49,728 --> 00:12:50,771 That would be amazing. 269 00:12:51,897 --> 00:12:52,898 Would it? 270 00:12:52,981 --> 00:12:55,651 Yeah, I've always wanted to see what it's like to run a football club. 271 00:12:55,734 --> 00:12:57,194 Really? Since when? 272 00:12:57,277 --> 00:12:59,112 Ever since you started doing it. 273 00:13:00,656 --> 00:13:01,990 I'll be down in a sec. 274 00:13:02,616 --> 00:13:03,617 Okay. 275 00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:14,628 -Hey, Shannon. -Coach Beard asked me to give this to you. 276 00:13:14,711 --> 00:13:16,338 -Oh. -He had to run off. 277 00:13:16,421 --> 00:13:18,048 Okay. Everything all right? 278 00:13:18,632 --> 00:13:19,716 I don't know. 279 00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:22,261 He mumbled the name Jane and then sprinted away. 280 00:13:22,344 --> 00:13:23,929 Oh, okay. That makes sense. 281 00:13:24,012 --> 00:13:25,305 What about you? You good? 282 00:13:25,973 --> 00:13:27,808 When are you guys gonna finally win a match? 283 00:13:27,891 --> 00:13:29,685 Geez louise, Shannon. 284 00:13:29,768 --> 00:13:32,396 Not even Beard comes at me that strong this early, you know? 285 00:13:32,479 --> 00:13:34,398 We like to start off with a little small talk, you know? 286 00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:36,608 Like, uh, I'll say, "Hey, what's the word, Larry Bird?" 287 00:13:36,692 --> 00:13:37,693 Then he'll say-- 288 00:13:37,776 --> 00:13:41,113 "Don't call me Larry Bird and when are we gonna finally win a fucking match?" 289 00:13:41,780 --> 00:13:44,449 Yeah. Like that. See, much better. [chuckles] 290 00:13:47,870 --> 00:13:50,664 So, being the boss isn't just about reacting to situations. 291 00:13:50,747 --> 00:13:52,791 It's also about anticipating them as well. 292 00:13:52,875 --> 00:13:56,003 You need to be three, four steps ahead of everyone else around you. 293 00:13:56,086 --> 00:13:57,171 Good morning, Higgins. 294 00:13:57,254 --> 00:14:00,340 This is my goddaughter, Nora. She's going to be shadowing me today. 295 00:14:00,424 --> 00:14:02,509 Ah, outstanding! Welcome aboard. 296 00:14:03,302 --> 00:14:06,263 And, uh, Miss Welton, I received your email. 297 00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:08,932 And once again your suggestion fixed everything. 298 00:14:09,016 --> 00:14:11,143 I mean, brilliant as always. 299 00:14:11,768 --> 00:14:12,978 What are you talking about? 300 00:14:13,645 --> 00:14:15,397 I was just trying to make you look good. 301 00:14:15,981 --> 00:14:16,982 Eh. 302 00:14:18,483 --> 00:14:20,402 -You blew that. [chuckles] -Yeah, I did. 303 00:14:22,279 --> 00:14:24,489 And obviously one of the perks of being in charge 304 00:14:24,573 --> 00:14:26,825 is having your own private sanctum. 305 00:14:27,534 --> 00:14:28,869 Shit! 306 00:14:28,952 --> 00:14:30,495 I didn't think you were coming in today. 307 00:14:30,579 --> 00:14:33,165 When I know you're not gonna be here, sometimes I use your office. 308 00:14:33,248 --> 00:14:35,334 I like the light and the absence of smells. 309 00:14:35,417 --> 00:14:38,045 No worries. We had a change of plans. 310 00:14:38,128 --> 00:14:39,713 -Keeley, this is Nora. -Hey. 311 00:14:39,796 --> 00:14:42,758 Nora, this is Keeley Jones. Our head of marketing. 312 00:14:43,300 --> 00:14:44,968 -Cuppa? -Mm. 313 00:14:45,052 --> 00:14:47,012 -Hmm. -I'm so excited to meet you. 314 00:14:47,095 --> 00:14:48,931 I've heard a lot about you and I love your mum. 315 00:14:49,014 --> 00:14:50,557 She's so cool. [chuckles] 316 00:14:53,810 --> 00:14:55,437 What's "Bantr"? 317 00:14:56,021 --> 00:14:59,358 Oh, it's just a little side hustle gig. It's a new dating app. 318 00:14:59,441 --> 00:15:02,819 This venture capital firm asked if I can do some freelance PR for them. 319 00:15:02,903 --> 00:15:05,030 Cool. What's the hook? 320 00:15:07,616 --> 00:15:09,576 It's pretty groovy actually. 321 00:15:09,660 --> 00:15:12,079 They wanna be a less superficial dating app alternative. 322 00:15:12,162 --> 00:15:14,331 It's completely anonymous, no photos. 323 00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:15,874 It's all about encouraging people to connect 324 00:15:15,958 --> 00:15:18,043 using their words and personalities. 325 00:15:18,126 --> 00:15:20,045 Yeah, so you don't know if the person you're communicating with 326 00:15:20,128 --> 00:15:21,547 is remotely fit or not. 327 00:15:22,130 --> 00:15:23,173 Horrifying, isn't it? 328 00:15:23,757 --> 00:15:24,842 I think that's awesome. 329 00:15:24,925 --> 00:15:27,219 Yeah, no. Me too. 330 00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:29,972 Cool. [chuckles] 331 00:15:30,764 --> 00:15:33,433 So, I downloaded Bantr last night. 332 00:15:33,517 --> 00:15:34,560 Attaboy. 333 00:15:34,643 --> 00:15:36,270 Hmm, looking for a lady, hey? 334 00:15:36,353 --> 00:15:38,689 Oh, God, no. No, I deleted it immediately. 335 00:15:39,523 --> 00:15:42,693 Besides, I am very picky when it comes to women. 336 00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:46,029 -Oh, yeah? -Yeah. Oh, yeah. 337 00:15:46,113 --> 00:15:47,948 [Nathan swallows] 338 00:15:48,031 --> 00:15:49,825 But women are pretty picky too, so… 339 00:15:50,909 --> 00:15:53,328 Yeah, I'm not really looking for anything romantic right now either. 340 00:15:53,412 --> 00:15:55,664 But, boy, what if I did get on there and I met my soul mate 341 00:15:55,747 --> 00:15:57,207 and it changed the whole course of my life. 342 00:15:57,291 --> 00:15:59,585 -That'd be pretty neato. Yeah? -Yeah. 343 00:15:59,668 --> 00:16:01,420 What about you, Coach? You get on there yet? 344 00:16:01,503 --> 00:16:02,838 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 345 00:16:02,921 --> 00:16:05,757 Uh, Jane and I took a big step forward in our relationship this weekend. 346 00:16:05,841 --> 00:16:07,718 We are now sharing an iCloud account. 347 00:16:07,801 --> 00:16:10,429 -Ooh! -They call it digital intimacy. 348 00:16:11,346 --> 00:16:14,141 Ooh, so if she found out that you downloaded a dating app… 349 00:16:14,224 --> 00:16:17,436 She would destroy my phone with pliers and a blowtorch. Yes. 350 00:16:17,519 --> 00:16:19,730 -Ooh. Oh. -[phone rings] 351 00:16:19,813 --> 00:16:20,898 [Higgins] Hi, darling. 352 00:16:22,149 --> 00:16:23,150 Diamond Dogs adjourned? 353 00:16:23,984 --> 00:16:25,777 -[howling] -[howls] 354 00:16:25,861 --> 00:16:26,987 [howls] 355 00:16:27,070 --> 00:16:28,864 Yeah, I was howling. Like a dog, yeah. 356 00:16:28,947 --> 00:16:29,907 Hey, Jamie. 357 00:16:31,783 --> 00:16:33,243 Hey, how you feeling today? 358 00:16:33,327 --> 00:16:35,537 -Eh, fucking great. -Yeah? 359 00:16:35,621 --> 00:16:38,624 Yeah, I had this dope idea last night during me eyebrow threading. 360 00:16:39,541 --> 00:16:43,170 I'm gonna buy the whole team PS5s. They'll fucking love me. 361 00:16:44,963 --> 00:16:48,967 Yeah, but, you know, some folks might also consider that buying affection, you know. 362 00:16:49,051 --> 00:16:50,177 Exactly. 363 00:16:50,260 --> 00:16:52,971 Yeah, what better thing to spend money on than love? Hey? 364 00:16:53,055 --> 00:16:54,473 [clicking tongue] 365 00:16:55,807 --> 00:16:58,310 Hmm, boy. He sure does thread that needle sometimes, don't he? 366 00:16:58,393 --> 00:16:59,770 [sighs] 367 00:16:59,853 --> 00:17:01,438 Well, gentlemen, I think we might have ourselves 368 00:17:01,522 --> 00:17:03,899 a "break glass in case of emergency" situation here. 369 00:17:05,150 --> 00:17:07,277 -You know what we gotta do? -Get Dr. Sharon? 370 00:17:07,361 --> 00:17:09,112 What? No. No, no, no. 371 00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:12,199 No, I think it's time for these young fellas to meet… 372 00:17:12,281 --> 00:17:13,492 that guy. 373 00:17:13,575 --> 00:17:14,785 [whistles] 374 00:17:17,412 --> 00:17:19,414 No. No, no. 375 00:17:19,498 --> 00:17:20,958 Oh, yes. 376 00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:23,544 Oh, yes. Oh, yes. 377 00:17:23,627 --> 00:17:26,463 They don't need to meet that guy. They don't. Nobody does. 378 00:17:26,547 --> 00:17:27,881 Don't worry, Coach. It's gonna be great. 379 00:17:28,464 --> 00:17:30,259 All right. I'll see you in a little bit. 380 00:17:31,552 --> 00:17:33,095 Who's "that guy"? 381 00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:35,305 Led Tasso. 382 00:17:35,389 --> 00:17:36,932 Who's Led Tasso? 383 00:17:38,809 --> 00:17:39,977 The last resort. 384 00:17:41,562 --> 00:17:43,647 Still doesn't really answer my question though, does it? 385 00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:45,482 Who's Led Tasso? 386 00:17:45,566 --> 00:17:49,069 So, our players have contracts that were signed when we were a premiership club. 387 00:17:49,152 --> 00:17:52,698 But our current income is that of a championship club. Which means-- 388 00:17:52,781 --> 00:17:55,033 You're paying premiership rates for championship players, 389 00:17:55,117 --> 00:17:56,910 so financially the club's a bit fucked. 390 00:17:56,994 --> 00:17:58,120 [stammers, chuckles] 391 00:17:58,203 --> 00:17:59,288 Sorry. 392 00:17:59,913 --> 00:18:01,206 She got it quicker than Ted did. 393 00:18:01,290 --> 00:18:02,457 [knocks] 394 00:18:02,541 --> 00:18:03,584 [Rebecca] Come in. 395 00:18:04,585 --> 00:18:07,045 Sam! How nice to see you. 396 00:18:07,129 --> 00:18:09,339 -I apologize for interrupting. -[Rebecca] No, please. 397 00:18:09,423 --> 00:18:11,383 Sam, this is my goddaughter, Nora. 398 00:18:11,466 --> 00:18:13,427 -Nora, this is Sam Ob-- -Sam Obisanya. 399 00:18:14,011 --> 00:18:15,262 Hi, Sam Obisanya. 400 00:18:16,305 --> 00:18:18,599 Oh! Oh, yes. Yes. You guys used to watch Frozen together. 401 00:18:18,682 --> 00:18:20,684 I have now watched that movie many times myself. 402 00:18:20,767 --> 00:18:21,643 Oh. 403 00:18:21,727 --> 00:18:23,770 It's a beautiful metaphor for many of life's journeys. 404 00:18:23,854 --> 00:18:25,314 Yeah, especially puberty. 405 00:18:28,025 --> 00:18:29,234 What can I help you with? 406 00:18:30,027 --> 00:18:31,695 Well, um… 407 00:18:33,739 --> 00:18:35,699 I would like to pull out of my campaign with Dubai Air. 408 00:18:36,867 --> 00:18:37,951 [gags] 409 00:18:38,035 --> 00:18:39,203 What? Why? 410 00:18:39,286 --> 00:18:43,123 Well, it has come to my attention that Dubai Air's parent company, Cerithium Oil, 411 00:18:43,207 --> 00:18:45,125 is destroying Nigeria's environment. 412 00:18:45,209 --> 00:18:47,794 And at the same time bribing government officials to look the other way. 413 00:18:49,546 --> 00:18:51,423 I can't be the face of one of their subsidiaries. 414 00:18:51,507 --> 00:18:53,050 Hell, yeah. 415 00:18:53,133 --> 00:18:55,886 Look, Keeley, I'm really sorry. I know how hard you worked for this. 416 00:18:55,969 --> 00:18:57,262 It's okay. 417 00:18:57,971 --> 00:19:00,057 [Rebecca] Of course you don't have to do it, Sam. 418 00:19:00,140 --> 00:19:01,433 I'll take care of it. 419 00:19:01,517 --> 00:19:03,268 Thank you. 420 00:19:03,352 --> 00:19:05,270 And, uh, lovely to meet you, Nora. [chuckles] 421 00:19:06,396 --> 00:19:07,940 He remembered my name. 422 00:19:08,023 --> 00:19:10,484 -[door closes] -They are our sponsor. 423 00:19:10,567 --> 00:19:13,612 We might need to give them a bell so we don't ruffle any feathers. 424 00:19:13,695 --> 00:19:14,905 I will handle it. 425 00:19:14,988 --> 00:19:17,991 The CEO of Cerithium Oil is an old friend of Rupert's. 426 00:19:18,075 --> 00:19:21,245 [inhales sharply] Perhaps he'll still find me charming. 427 00:19:22,329 --> 00:19:23,664 [grunting] 428 00:19:24,748 --> 00:19:25,749 [growls] 429 00:19:28,168 --> 00:19:29,503 Come here, you. 430 00:19:29,586 --> 00:19:30,879 [yells, grunts] 431 00:19:31,964 --> 00:19:33,131 [grunting] 432 00:19:35,551 --> 00:19:38,011 Oh, that's Led Tasso. 433 00:19:38,095 --> 00:19:39,137 Now I get it. 434 00:19:39,221 --> 00:19:41,557 [grunting] 435 00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:43,475 The Ted you know is gone for now. 436 00:19:43,559 --> 00:19:45,269 [grunts, yells] 437 00:19:46,562 --> 00:19:49,189 [blows whistle] Now listen up, you little turd birds! 438 00:19:49,815 --> 00:19:51,525 Practice starts at 11 o'clock. 439 00:19:51,608 --> 00:19:54,444 If you are not stretched five minutes early 440 00:19:54,528 --> 00:19:56,488 then you are 45 minutes late! 441 00:19:56,572 --> 00:19:57,906 You understand me? 442 00:19:58,615 --> 00:20:01,034 Do you understand me? 443 00:20:01,118 --> 00:20:03,453 -[Sam] Yes, Coach. -[Ted] Okay, good! 444 00:20:03,537 --> 00:20:04,913 Now start touching your toes! 445 00:20:06,373 --> 00:20:08,625 Touch your toes! Those are your feet fingers. 446 00:20:08,709 --> 00:20:11,295 Let's go, dummies. Touch your toes. 447 00:20:11,378 --> 00:20:12,796 And touch each other's toes! 448 00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:14,756 -What? -[Ted] You heard me! 449 00:20:14,840 --> 00:20:17,050 Touch each other's toes! I don't wanna hear it. 450 00:20:17,134 --> 00:20:20,721 Hands on toes. Someone else's toes besides your own. 451 00:20:20,804 --> 00:20:22,639 -[Colin] What muscle is this working? -Don't worry about it. 452 00:20:22,723 --> 00:20:25,976 The only muscle I don't wanna see working right now is your mouth, Colin. 453 00:20:27,477 --> 00:20:28,896 -[Colin] Rojas! -[Dani] Yes. 454 00:20:29,646 --> 00:20:31,273 -Richard. -[Bumbercatch] Rojas! 455 00:20:32,482 --> 00:20:33,483 [grunts] 456 00:20:33,567 --> 00:20:35,027 -Bumbercatch! -Sorry, Coach. 457 00:20:35,110 --> 00:20:36,236 Okay, you're sorry, hey? 458 00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:39,698 I know y'all don't think it's a big deal messing up on these drills. 459 00:20:39,781 --> 00:20:40,866 But let me tell you this right now. 460 00:20:40,949 --> 00:20:42,910 The day we stop doing things the right way 461 00:20:42,993 --> 00:20:46,330 means we are one day closer to doing everything the wrong way. 462 00:20:47,289 --> 00:20:49,249 Then what happens after that, huh? 463 00:20:49,333 --> 00:20:52,002 What, you wanna make, uh, uh, this ball your girlfriend? 464 00:20:52,085 --> 00:20:54,254 You gonna start taking it to places under your arm? 465 00:20:54,338 --> 00:20:56,632 Having people compliment how y'all look together? 466 00:20:56,715 --> 00:20:57,966 And then what? 467 00:20:58,050 --> 00:21:00,844 You start caressing it and playing with, like, the little air hole nub? 468 00:21:00,928 --> 00:21:03,013 Yeah? Messing around with that? Making out with it. 469 00:21:03,096 --> 00:21:05,390 Making it your girlfriend. Is that what you wanna do? 470 00:21:05,474 --> 00:21:08,352 Then when? You ask it to marry you? Huh? 471 00:21:08,435 --> 00:21:10,145 Y'all wanna be married to a ball? 472 00:21:10,229 --> 00:21:11,855 [scoffs] No. 473 00:21:11,939 --> 00:21:13,565 [players chuckle] 474 00:21:14,107 --> 00:21:16,818 -What did you say? -Uh, I-I said no. 475 00:21:16,902 --> 00:21:18,237 Congratulations, Isaac. 476 00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:22,491 That smart mouth of yours just earned you and the entire team ten laps. 477 00:21:22,574 --> 00:21:24,368 -Let's go! -Oh, what-- What are you-- 478 00:21:24,451 --> 00:21:27,412 Oh! Guess what? Make it a thousand laps. That's your fault too. 479 00:21:27,496 --> 00:21:29,581 A thousand laps. Off you go! Let's go. Run. 480 00:21:29,665 --> 00:21:32,709 -What did we do? -Run, run, run, run, run, run. Run! Run! 481 00:21:32,793 --> 00:21:34,670 Yeah, there you go. 482 00:21:34,753 --> 00:21:37,130 Get them knees up! Get 'em by your nipples! 483 00:21:37,214 --> 00:21:42,010 I hope y'all drank a lot of water today 'cause y'all are gonna be so dehydrated, 484 00:21:42,094 --> 00:21:46,014 that you're gonna look like one of them trees from a-- from a Tim Burton movie. 485 00:21:46,640 --> 00:21:49,059 I'm talking any Tim Burton movie! 486 00:21:50,060 --> 00:21:51,186 Even Dumbo! 487 00:21:52,521 --> 00:21:53,897 Even freaking Dumbo. 488 00:21:55,899 --> 00:21:58,402 [man] Rebecca, what a lovely surprise. 489 00:21:58,485 --> 00:22:00,195 Hello, Richard. 490 00:22:00,279 --> 00:22:03,156 So, are you in your second, third or fourth house? 491 00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:06,994 [Richard laughs] I'm actually back on the yacht. Care to join me? 492 00:22:07,077 --> 00:22:09,204 I don't think your new wife would enjoy that. 493 00:22:09,288 --> 00:22:11,790 As long as she can watch, she doesn't mind. 494 00:22:12,457 --> 00:22:14,918 Okay, Richard, I need to ask you a favor. 495 00:22:15,002 --> 00:22:17,462 One of our players, Sam Obisanya, 496 00:22:17,546 --> 00:22:20,549 no longer wishes to participate in a Dubai Air ad campaign. 497 00:22:20,632 --> 00:22:23,886 And I was hoping you'd be able to make that go away without much fuss. 498 00:22:23,969 --> 00:22:27,264 Understood, Rebecca. That won't be a problem. 499 00:22:27,347 --> 00:22:29,349 Excellent. Thank you so much, Richard. 500 00:22:29,433 --> 00:22:32,311 Of course. And now, darling, I just need a favor from you. 501 00:22:32,394 --> 00:22:35,314 Okay. But nothing scandalous, yes? 502 00:22:35,397 --> 00:22:38,650 [Richard laughs] Of course not. Get rid of him. 503 00:22:38,734 --> 00:22:42,571 -I'm sorry? -Get rid of Obisanya. [chuckles] 504 00:22:42,654 --> 00:22:45,449 Thank you, my dear. Lovely talking with you. 505 00:22:46,450 --> 00:22:48,327 -It's on the left! -Richard, Richard, Richard! 506 00:22:48,410 --> 00:22:50,162 -Richard! Richard! -Right! Right! Right! 507 00:22:51,997 --> 00:22:52,998 Richard! 508 00:22:53,081 --> 00:22:54,208 I haven't seen a pass that soft 509 00:22:54,291 --> 00:22:56,585 since my high school drama teacher asked me to mow his lawn. 510 00:22:57,586 --> 00:23:01,131 Is anybody on this pitch interested in not sucking at soccer? 511 00:23:01,215 --> 00:23:03,759 All right, Coach. We get it. Just stop yelling at everyone. 512 00:23:03,842 --> 00:23:04,843 [stammers] 513 00:23:04,927 --> 00:23:07,596 I don't know whatever this Jekyll and Hyde thing you got going on 514 00:23:07,679 --> 00:23:08,972 but just leave it out, yeah. 515 00:23:09,056 --> 00:23:10,974 [laughs] Oh, okay. Okay. 516 00:23:11,058 --> 00:23:14,061 You know what, Tartt? Practice is canceled. 517 00:23:14,144 --> 00:23:16,438 Hit the showers. All of you. Let's go. Run. 518 00:23:16,522 --> 00:23:18,357 Jamie just blew y'all's chance to get better. 519 00:23:18,440 --> 00:23:21,193 -Thanks, man. -That's how running looks. Let's run! 520 00:23:21,276 --> 00:23:23,695 -Let's go! Everybody to the showers! -[players muttering] 521 00:23:23,779 --> 00:23:26,657 Well, guess what? We start no people this weekend. 522 00:23:26,740 --> 00:23:28,700 It'll be 11 versus zero. 523 00:23:29,451 --> 00:23:31,995 What's the matter, O'Brien? Your butt still hurt? 524 00:23:34,081 --> 00:23:37,334 Unbelievable. [muttering] 525 00:23:37,417 --> 00:23:38,418 What? 526 00:23:42,214 --> 00:23:43,215 How long was I out? 527 00:23:43,298 --> 00:23:45,092 -Doesn't matter. You're back now. -Okay. 528 00:23:45,801 --> 00:23:47,386 [Sharon] Well, that was interesting. 529 00:23:48,512 --> 00:23:49,721 Oh, thank you, Doc. 530 00:23:49,805 --> 00:23:52,558 Yeah, little something we came up with back in Kansas. 531 00:23:52,641 --> 00:23:55,269 -See, what we're doing is-- -You pretend to be an asshole. 532 00:23:55,352 --> 00:23:57,771 So the team make you their common enemy and not Jamie. 533 00:23:58,981 --> 00:24:01,358 -Yeah. Spot on. Mm-hmm. -Oh, yeah. Got it right away. 534 00:24:01,441 --> 00:24:02,609 Has it ever worked? 535 00:24:03,318 --> 00:24:05,070 -Uh… -Uh… 536 00:24:05,153 --> 00:24:06,905 -[Ted] Trying to remember. -Uh, Chuck E. Cheese? 537 00:24:06,989 --> 00:24:08,073 Chuck E. Cheese. That's right! 538 00:24:08,156 --> 00:24:11,493 Yeah, we were at a, uh, arcade/pizza joint in Lincoln, Nebraska. 539 00:24:11,577 --> 00:24:14,454 And one of our offensive linemen got his head stuck in a VR machine. 540 00:24:14,538 --> 00:24:18,000 Ended up getting the entire meal and all our beverages comped for free, so… 541 00:24:19,751 --> 00:24:21,128 Maybe they don't have Chuck E. Cheese here. 542 00:24:21,211 --> 00:24:22,171 Oh, yeah. 543 00:24:22,254 --> 00:24:23,714 Y'all might call it something different here. 544 00:24:23,797 --> 00:24:26,508 Like, uh, Charles Edgar Cheeserton III or something, right? 545 00:24:27,801 --> 00:24:31,138 -He's a mouse but he's also a musician. -And he loves video games and pizza. 546 00:24:31,221 --> 00:24:32,431 I'm sure. 547 00:24:32,514 --> 00:24:33,724 -Mm-hmm. -[chuckles] 548 00:24:33,807 --> 00:24:35,851 Okay, we could release Sam. Which we're not gonna do. 549 00:24:35,934 --> 00:24:36,935 Oh, no. 550 00:24:37,019 --> 00:24:40,314 Or we can tell the CEO of our biggest sponsor to piss off. 551 00:24:40,898 --> 00:24:42,524 Which I doubt we can do. [sighs] 552 00:24:43,025 --> 00:24:45,152 Yeah. This is just like the time I got in trouble 553 00:24:45,235 --> 00:24:47,154 for chewing gum in the bathroom. 554 00:24:47,237 --> 00:24:48,447 You got in trouble for chewing gum? 555 00:24:48,530 --> 00:24:50,991 No, I was smoking. But I don't want a lecture. 556 00:24:51,658 --> 00:24:53,076 I'll allow it. Go on. 557 00:24:53,160 --> 00:24:55,662 I was with my friend Sarah, who we call "Pimp", 558 00:24:55,746 --> 00:24:57,372 when a teach came in and busted her. 559 00:24:57,456 --> 00:25:00,375 I was hiding in the loo and I could have just stayed there 560 00:25:00,459 --> 00:25:01,960 but he started to get a bit shitty with her. 561 00:25:02,044 --> 00:25:06,256 So, I decided to come out and we both ended up getting suspended. 562 00:25:06,340 --> 00:25:10,385 Mum freaked out and I had to watch a three-hour video about cancer. 563 00:25:11,470 --> 00:25:14,223 [inhales deeply] Point is, Aunt Stinky, 564 00:25:14,848 --> 00:25:19,478 sometimes you have to do the right thing even if you lose. 565 00:25:20,229 --> 00:25:21,230 Yes. 566 00:25:22,314 --> 00:25:23,732 Yes, you do. 567 00:25:25,234 --> 00:25:26,360 [knocks] 568 00:25:26,443 --> 00:25:27,528 Hi, Jamie. 569 00:25:28,111 --> 00:25:29,112 Hi. 570 00:25:29,571 --> 00:25:31,406 -What's wrong? -Nothing. 571 00:25:36,328 --> 00:25:39,665 Actually, Sam just quit the Dubai Air gig. So I'm scrambling a bit. 572 00:25:39,748 --> 00:25:40,916 That's stupid of him. 573 00:25:42,084 --> 00:25:43,335 Do you want me to do it? 574 00:25:43,418 --> 00:25:44,795 What do you want, Jamie? 575 00:25:45,379 --> 00:25:47,965 Well, [sighs] just wanted to talk. 576 00:25:48,590 --> 00:25:49,925 About what? 577 00:25:50,008 --> 00:25:52,845 [sighs] I'm just super frustrated 578 00:25:52,928 --> 00:25:55,430 'cause I don't know how to let the team know I'm cool now, 579 00:25:55,514 --> 00:25:57,599 and it's just really fucking with me head. 580 00:25:58,809 --> 00:25:59,935 Walk with me. 581 00:26:00,811 --> 00:26:01,854 Come on. 582 00:26:03,564 --> 00:26:05,858 I mean, if they wanna be little bitches 583 00:26:06,358 --> 00:26:09,862 about actually having someone on the pitch who can score a goal, then what? 584 00:26:09,945 --> 00:26:12,197 Am I supposed to just walk around with me head down? 585 00:26:14,157 --> 00:26:15,158 No. 586 00:26:15,242 --> 00:26:17,327 It's like they're holding onto some silly grudge. 587 00:26:17,411 --> 00:26:19,371 I mean, it's not my fault I'm special. 588 00:26:19,454 --> 00:26:20,539 [knocks] 589 00:26:21,456 --> 00:26:22,708 -Hi. -Hi. 590 00:26:22,791 --> 00:26:25,836 Jamie, this is Dr. Fieldstone. 591 00:26:26,420 --> 00:26:28,088 She's a brilliant therapist 592 00:26:28,172 --> 00:26:32,050 and, unlike me, she actually gets paid to listen to you complain. 593 00:26:35,179 --> 00:26:36,346 [door closes] 594 00:26:42,519 --> 00:26:44,062 So, what? Do I just… 595 00:26:44,897 --> 00:26:47,316 sit here and blather on and on about meself? 596 00:26:48,275 --> 00:26:49,443 Basically. 597 00:26:51,028 --> 00:26:52,029 Nice. 598 00:26:53,071 --> 00:26:54,406 Hey, dick hole. 599 00:26:54,489 --> 00:26:55,908 "Dear Richard Cole." 600 00:26:55,991 --> 00:26:57,993 You creepy old pedo. 601 00:26:58,076 --> 00:27:00,120 "My old friend." 602 00:27:00,204 --> 00:27:02,372 Sam isn't going anywhere, asshole. 603 00:27:02,456 --> 00:27:05,209 "I have decided not to release Sam Obisanya." 604 00:27:05,292 --> 00:27:07,961 You're a shitty old man with a tiny, shriveled penis. 605 00:27:08,045 --> 00:27:11,256 I feel sorry for your wife. Her life must be a constant hell. 606 00:27:11,340 --> 00:27:13,217 "Please give Daphne my love." 607 00:27:13,300 --> 00:27:15,636 Sincerely, boss ass bitch. 608 00:27:15,719 --> 00:27:18,555 "Sincerely, boss ass bitch." 609 00:27:20,724 --> 00:27:22,851 [both laughing] 610 00:27:25,354 --> 00:27:26,939 Welcome to Soccer Saturday. 611 00:27:27,022 --> 00:27:31,068 We have a massive afternoon of action for you today across all the divisions. 612 00:27:31,151 --> 00:27:35,489 I'm your host, Jeff Stelling here with Mr. Unbelievable himself, Chris Kamara. 613 00:27:35,572 --> 00:27:39,368 A man who's coached seemingly every club in England, including yours, 614 00:27:39,451 --> 00:27:41,036 George Cartrick. 615 00:27:41,119 --> 00:27:43,872 And still getting comfortable in his new seat on our set, 616 00:27:43,956 --> 00:27:46,959 it's the legendary Chelsea hard man, Roy Kent. 617 00:27:47,042 --> 00:27:48,252 Welcome, Roy. 618 00:27:50,003 --> 00:27:51,839 -[George chuckles] -Well said. [clears throat] 619 00:27:51,922 --> 00:27:54,758 Of course, last time we saw Roy Kent on the pitch 620 00:27:54,842 --> 00:27:58,637 was with AFC Richmond, battling against relegation. 621 00:27:58,720 --> 00:28:01,640 And occasionally against other Richmond players. 622 00:28:01,723 --> 00:28:03,267 [Arlo] What is this? 623 00:28:03,350 --> 00:28:05,477 Kent and Tartt are at each other's throats! 624 00:28:05,561 --> 00:28:07,563 [George laughing] 625 00:28:08,814 --> 00:28:12,568 Well, the big story today is the return of that same teammate. 626 00:28:12,651 --> 00:28:15,112 The controversial Jamie Tartt. 627 00:28:15,195 --> 00:28:19,783 The ex-Manchester City starlet and Lust Conquers All reject 628 00:28:19,867 --> 00:28:22,077 has his first match back with Richmond. 629 00:28:22,160 --> 00:28:23,787 [inhales sharply] Any thoughts, Roy? 630 00:28:24,413 --> 00:28:25,873 Jamie Tartt is a muppet. 631 00:28:25,956 --> 00:28:29,543 And I hope he dies of the incurable condition of being a little bitch. 632 00:28:29,626 --> 00:28:32,754 -[George laughs] -Right. 633 00:28:32,838 --> 00:28:34,173 Don't hold back, Roy. 634 00:28:34,256 --> 00:28:36,008 Yeah, come on. Tell us how you really feel. 635 00:28:36,091 --> 00:28:37,801 Okay. You're a shit manager. 636 00:28:37,885 --> 00:28:39,386 Not about me, you twat! 637 00:28:39,469 --> 00:28:40,888 Language, boys! 638 00:28:40,971 --> 00:28:42,973 -Well, he asked for it. -He did ask for it. 639 00:28:43,056 --> 00:28:44,308 [Kamara chuckles] 640 00:28:44,391 --> 00:28:45,392 [chattering] 641 00:28:50,189 --> 00:28:51,398 [phone chimes] 642 00:28:58,030 --> 00:28:59,823 [chuckles] 643 00:29:05,871 --> 00:29:07,915 Bantr's horrifying, is it? 644 00:29:08,415 --> 00:29:12,377 I'm going to insult something and then try it because I'm a good friend. 645 00:29:12,461 --> 00:29:13,962 -[giggles] -[chuckles] 646 00:29:14,046 --> 00:29:16,048 A-hootie hoo. 647 00:29:16,131 --> 00:29:17,299 Sassy! 648 00:29:17,382 --> 00:29:19,176 I thought you weren't coming back till Sunday? 649 00:29:19,259 --> 00:29:23,222 What? And miss 22 fit, sweaty men running around chasing one another? 650 00:29:23,305 --> 00:29:26,099 [chuckles, gasps] Did you meet Sam Obisanya? 651 00:29:26,183 --> 00:29:28,268 -That's her favorite player. -Oh, Mum. 652 00:29:28,352 --> 00:29:29,811 [squeals, giggles] 653 00:29:30,479 --> 00:29:31,480 [sighs] 654 00:30:11,687 --> 00:30:12,938 What are you doing? 655 00:30:13,564 --> 00:30:15,065 What, Dubai Air not paying you enough? 656 00:30:15,148 --> 00:30:16,316 [laughing] 657 00:30:16,400 --> 00:30:19,486 No, no. Dubai Air is owned by a horrible company. 658 00:30:20,279 --> 00:30:23,448 One that has turned the southern coast of Nigeria, my home, 659 00:30:23,532 --> 00:30:26,159 into a hellish, fiery swamp. 660 00:30:28,245 --> 00:30:29,913 I can no longer wear their name on my chest. 661 00:30:31,456 --> 00:30:32,583 Never again. 662 00:30:39,423 --> 00:30:40,632 Give me the tape, bruv. 663 00:30:50,601 --> 00:30:51,810 Can I ask it? 664 00:31:01,278 --> 00:31:04,031 Hey, listen. I do not expect you all to do this. 665 00:31:05,365 --> 00:31:08,243 But I hope you understand why we as Nigerians must. 666 00:31:18,962 --> 00:31:20,088 Throw me the tape? 667 00:31:26,428 --> 00:31:27,930 What do you think you're doing? 668 00:31:29,389 --> 00:31:30,432 We're a team, ain't we? 669 00:31:31,892 --> 00:31:33,185 Gotta wear the same kit. 670 00:31:44,071 --> 00:31:47,741 Live from the Dogtrack, it's Arlo White here with Chris Powell. 671 00:31:47,824 --> 00:31:51,662 Today Coventry City take on the home team, AFC Richmond, 672 00:31:51,745 --> 00:31:54,790 who remain winless with eight straight draws. 673 00:31:54,873 --> 00:31:56,041 Any predictions, Chris? 674 00:31:56,625 --> 00:31:59,586 -Yeah, I think it's gonna be a draw. -Makes sense. 675 00:31:59,670 --> 00:32:03,257 But the story everyone is talking about is the return of Jamie Tartt. 676 00:32:03,340 --> 00:32:06,426 Chris, will the Richmond faithful welcome him back? 677 00:32:06,510 --> 00:32:09,847 Tough to say, Arlo. Supporters are a notoriously fickle bunch. 678 00:32:09,930 --> 00:32:12,307 ♪ Jamie Tartt, doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo ♪ 679 00:32:12,391 --> 00:32:15,727 ♪ Jamie Tartt, doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo Jamie Tartt, doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo ♪ 680 00:32:15,811 --> 00:32:18,438 If no one's passing to Jamie we can always drop him to midfield. 681 00:32:18,522 --> 00:32:21,316 So the people not passing to Jamie can be closer to him? 682 00:32:25,571 --> 00:32:27,447 [zippers opening] 683 00:32:27,531 --> 00:32:30,659 [crowd chattering] 684 00:32:32,995 --> 00:32:34,204 -Cheers. -Thanks, mate. 685 00:32:38,208 --> 00:32:39,418 [chattering] 686 00:32:39,501 --> 00:32:40,711 [shutters clicking] 687 00:32:42,921 --> 00:32:43,922 What's that now? 688 00:32:45,257 --> 00:32:47,134 [applause] 689 00:32:51,513 --> 00:32:53,015 [Powell] What's going on here, Arlo? 690 00:32:53,098 --> 00:32:55,475 [Arlo] It appears to be some sort of protest 691 00:32:55,559 --> 00:32:58,478 against Richmond's sponsor, Dubai Air. 692 00:32:59,229 --> 00:33:01,565 This might become an issue. 693 00:33:01,648 --> 00:33:02,983 [phone buzzing] 694 00:33:03,775 --> 00:33:04,860 Hmm. 695 00:33:11,825 --> 00:33:13,076 [buzzing stops] 696 00:33:14,828 --> 00:33:16,413 Boss ass bitch. 697 00:33:16,496 --> 00:33:18,832 -[chattering] -[shutters clicking] 698 00:33:21,126 --> 00:33:23,837 [reporters clamoring] 699 00:33:25,005 --> 00:33:27,716 Hey, hey. Easy. Easy. Hey, take it easy, all right? 700 00:33:27,799 --> 00:33:29,134 One at a time, please. Okay. 701 00:33:29,218 --> 00:33:30,427 Go ahead, Gary, what have you got? 702 00:33:30,511 --> 00:33:32,304 Yeah, Ted, did you know the team were gonna do that? 703 00:33:32,387 --> 00:33:33,805 No, sir. No, no. 704 00:33:33,889 --> 00:33:36,850 But I think what Sam and the team did today was courageous. 705 00:33:36,934 --> 00:33:39,603 I-I've never needed to have that kind of courage. 706 00:33:39,686 --> 00:33:43,482 'Cause, well, honestly when bad things happen to, uh, people like me 707 00:33:43,565 --> 00:33:46,652 y'all have a tendency to write about it without being asked. 708 00:33:46,735 --> 00:33:49,071 Sam had to go and get y'all's attention, you know? 709 00:33:50,030 --> 00:33:53,200 So, if you have any more you wanna know about it, you can ask him. 710 00:33:53,283 --> 00:33:54,576 Come on, Sam. 711 00:33:54,660 --> 00:33:58,121 [reporters clamoring] Sam! Sam! Sam! 712 00:33:59,748 --> 00:34:00,999 Um, hello. 713 00:34:01,083 --> 00:34:02,417 Um… 714 00:34:02,501 --> 00:34:04,878 Thank you. Trent Crimm, The Independent. 715 00:34:04,962 --> 00:34:07,381 Sam, do you think that your protest 716 00:34:07,464 --> 00:34:10,342 may have distracted the team tonight and lead to the loss? 717 00:34:11,552 --> 00:34:13,719 I'm not here to talk about football. 718 00:34:14,346 --> 00:34:16,473 I'm here to ask the Nigerian government to put an end 719 00:34:16,556 --> 00:34:19,226 to decades of environmental destruction caused by Cerithium Oil. 720 00:34:20,601 --> 00:34:22,813 Destruction that the powers that be have turned a blind eye towards 721 00:34:22,896 --> 00:34:24,231 for far too long. 722 00:34:26,608 --> 00:34:28,068 Do you have any questions about that? 723 00:34:28,150 --> 00:34:30,027 -[Trent] Yes, I do. -[reporters clamoring] 724 00:34:30,112 --> 00:34:31,321 Follow-up question, please. Thank you. 725 00:34:31,405 --> 00:34:35,826 Sam, are you openly accusing the Nigerian government of corruption? 726 00:34:37,995 --> 00:34:39,371 Yes, I am. 727 00:34:39,454 --> 00:34:42,165 [reporters clamoring] Sam! 728 00:34:44,710 --> 00:34:46,128 [breathes shakily] 729 00:34:47,420 --> 00:34:50,632 -How are you feeling? -Uh, good. I think. 730 00:34:51,717 --> 00:34:53,635 I just hope the rest of the team is not upset with me. 731 00:34:53,719 --> 00:34:54,719 Mmm. 732 00:34:54,803 --> 00:34:57,973 Hey, doing the right thing is never the wrong thing. Yeah. 733 00:34:58,056 --> 00:35:00,058 [players chattering] 734 00:35:00,142 --> 00:35:03,520 -There he is! -[cheering] 735 00:35:04,188 --> 00:35:06,398 -What's going on? -We are celebrating! 736 00:35:06,481 --> 00:35:09,026 -But we lost. -Yeah, but we broke the tie streak. 737 00:35:09,109 --> 00:35:10,485 [cheers, laughs] 738 00:35:10,569 --> 00:35:12,321 Oi, oi, oi, oi, oi! 739 00:35:12,404 --> 00:35:13,822 A toast to Sam, 740 00:35:13,906 --> 00:35:15,449 who did something incredible tonight. 741 00:35:15,532 --> 00:35:17,618 The little Nigerian prick stole my thunder. 742 00:35:17,701 --> 00:35:20,329 [laughing] 743 00:35:20,412 --> 00:35:22,289 No, but seriously. To Sam. 744 00:35:23,123 --> 00:35:24,499 To Sam! 745 00:35:25,292 --> 00:35:26,877 -Thank you, guys. -Well done, bruv. 746 00:35:27,711 --> 00:35:30,255 -I appreciate it. -[Jamie] Took a lot of courage, man. 747 00:35:30,923 --> 00:35:33,342 -It's good to have you back. -Yeah, it's good to be back, bruv. 748 00:35:33,425 --> 00:35:34,927 Please don't do this to me. 749 00:35:35,802 --> 00:35:36,929 [Rebecca] 'Scuse me, chaps. 750 00:35:37,012 --> 00:35:40,015 -Sam, could Nora get a picture, please? -Oh, hello. 751 00:35:40,098 --> 00:35:41,350 Oh, yes, yes! Of course. 752 00:35:41,433 --> 00:35:44,186 Hey, guys! Guys! We're gonna take a picture for Nora. 753 00:35:44,269 --> 00:35:46,813 -[players cheering] -[Dani] I want to be in the front. 754 00:35:49,858 --> 00:35:51,443 [Isaac] Nora, you all right? 755 00:35:51,527 --> 00:35:53,070 -You okay? Yeah? -Yeah! Yeah. 756 00:35:53,153 --> 00:35:55,822 -She's gonna absolutely love this. -Oh, my God. Look. 757 00:35:55,906 --> 00:35:57,074 [Rebecca] Love it and hate it. 758 00:35:57,908 --> 00:35:59,076 [Keeley] So cute! 759 00:35:59,159 --> 00:36:00,744 Oi, hide your beers! 760 00:36:00,827 --> 00:36:02,162 Oh! Oh, shit. 761 00:36:02,246 --> 00:36:03,747 -[laughs] -Thank you. 762 00:36:04,373 --> 00:36:06,291 Greyhounds on three! One, two, three! 763 00:36:06,375 --> 00:36:08,418 [all] Greyhounds! 764 00:36:08,502 --> 00:36:10,212 [cheering, laughing] 765 00:36:10,295 --> 00:36:12,297 -[Rebecca] Ah! -[Sassy] Okay, got it!