1 00:00:01,168 --> 00:00:03,170 ["Swinging on a Rainbow" playing] 2 00:00:22,231 --> 00:00:23,565 [bangs on door] 3 00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:32,491 Good afternoon. 4 00:00:39,081 --> 00:00:42,084 Sorry, I was waiting for you to ask if-- if I needed anything. 5 00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:45,295 So, this is my mom and dad's favorite restaurant 6 00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:48,298 and Friday's their 35th wedding anniversary, Jade. 7 00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:50,259 How do you know my name? 8 00:00:51,176 --> 00:00:54,388 Oh, I don't. That's what the 35th wedding anniversary is: 9 00:00:54,471 --> 00:00:55,472 Jade. 10 00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:58,976 Oh, weird. What time, then? 11 00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:02,437 Oh, 7:30, three people and really wanna make sure we get the window table. 12 00:01:06,859 --> 00:01:08,402 [Stelling] You've got all the divisions… 13 00:01:08,485 --> 00:01:09,862 I have to talk to Derrick. 14 00:01:09,945 --> 00:01:11,321 …former England international… 15 00:01:11,405 --> 00:01:12,406 Oh. 16 00:01:12,489 --> 00:01:13,532 …Chris Kamara. 17 00:01:13,615 --> 00:01:15,659 [Kamara] It was an unbelievable performance. 18 00:01:15,742 --> 00:01:17,870 Do you mind just turning that up? Thank you. 19 00:01:17,953 --> 00:01:20,080 [Kamara] I couldn't believe it! 20 00:01:20,163 --> 00:01:21,415 Looking into the championship now, 21 00:01:21,498 --> 00:01:23,792 Roy, your old mob in Richmond, uh, struggling. 22 00:01:23,876 --> 00:01:26,378 There are a lot of theories as to why that might be. 23 00:01:26,461 --> 00:01:29,423 One that's gaining traction is a lack of leadership 24 00:01:29,506 --> 00:01:31,800 from your successor as captain, Isaac McAdoo. 25 00:01:31,884 --> 00:01:35,345 Isaac's a good lad. He'll find his way. 26 00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:38,974 You know, under Ted Lasso, Richmond, well, 27 00:01:39,057 --> 00:01:42,311 they're like a woman behind the wheel: completely lost! 28 00:01:42,394 --> 00:01:45,689 George! Didn't you lose your license drink driving? 29 00:01:46,273 --> 00:01:48,859 That was an allergic reaction to my medication. 30 00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:50,861 The same medication that made you piss your pants? 31 00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:52,321 [laughing] 32 00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:54,656 [laughing continues] 33 00:01:54,740 --> 00:01:56,116 [chuckles] 34 00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:57,451 [Stelling continues] Nothing coming up… 35 00:01:57,534 --> 00:01:58,952 So, did-- Did the-- 36 00:02:01,872 --> 00:02:03,207 Hey. Hi. 37 00:02:03,707 --> 00:02:05,167 -Good news. -Oh! 38 00:02:05,250 --> 00:02:07,753 We can set aside the table in the corner for you. 39 00:02:08,419 --> 00:02:09,963 Wonderful. Um, I just-- 40 00:02:10,047 --> 00:02:13,091 I would really like the window table, you know, just to impress my dad. 41 00:02:13,175 --> 00:02:16,637 I'm sorry. I can't guarantee a reservation for the window table. 42 00:02:18,555 --> 00:02:20,599 I know Roy Kent, if that's-- 43 00:02:21,767 --> 00:02:23,018 Is he your dad? 44 00:02:23,101 --> 00:02:24,186 No. 45 00:02:24,269 --> 00:02:27,439 Well, please let us know if Mr. Kent ever wants the window table. 46 00:02:31,401 --> 00:02:33,237 W-- Okay. Thank you. 47 00:02:43,622 --> 00:02:45,624 [theme song plays] 48 00:03:06,228 --> 00:03:07,563 [players shouting] 49 00:03:10,774 --> 00:03:12,109 [man shouts] 50 00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:17,531 [crowd cheering] 51 00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:28,625 [shouting] 52 00:03:29,293 --> 00:03:31,879 Jan Maas, that's shit defending. 53 00:03:31,962 --> 00:03:33,589 Yes, that goal was entirely my fault. 54 00:03:33,672 --> 00:03:36,633 I don't wanna hear it. We need to get our shit together! 55 00:03:38,510 --> 00:03:40,888 Hey, hit pause for me, will you? Hey, fellas. 56 00:03:40,971 --> 00:03:43,140 -[blows] -No, I gave you an indoor whistle. 57 00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:45,100 Listen, I don't care what our record is, 58 00:03:45,184 --> 00:03:48,020 but I hear the chatter, people saying there's something wrong with us. 59 00:03:48,103 --> 00:03:49,688 Not the way I see it, okay? 60 00:03:49,771 --> 00:03:50,814 And here's why: 61 00:03:50,898 --> 00:03:52,566 I believe in communism. 62 00:03:52,649 --> 00:03:54,902 [players murmuring] 63 00:03:54,985 --> 00:03:56,653 Rom-communism, that is. 64 00:03:56,737 --> 00:03:59,573 -[players murmuring] -What is rom-communism? 65 00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:01,867 Well, Bumbercatch, it is a worldview that reminds us 66 00:04:01,950 --> 00:04:05,871 that romantic comedies with folks like Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan or, uh, 67 00:04:05,954 --> 00:04:08,540 Julia Roberts and Hugh Grant or-- Who am I missing, Coach? 68 00:04:09,708 --> 00:04:11,043 -Drew Barrymore? -Mm-hmm. 69 00:04:11,126 --> 00:04:13,670 -Matthew McConaughey, obviously. -All right, all right. Yeah. 70 00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:16,048 -The three Kates. -Yeah, Beckinsale, Hudson, Winslet. 71 00:04:16,964 --> 00:04:19,176 -You forgot Blanchett. -Different spelling. 72 00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:21,678 I enjoy Renée Zellweger and all the Bridget Jones movies. 73 00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:23,639 -Mmm. -I mean, her accent is pitch perfect 74 00:04:23,722 --> 00:04:25,891 and her gift of physical comedy is grossly underrated. 75 00:04:25,974 --> 00:04:27,935 -Word! -Hell yeah! 76 00:04:28,018 --> 00:04:29,269 -[Ted] Absolutely! -I saw Judy… 77 00:04:29,353 --> 00:04:31,104 All right, you've gotta give it up for Zellweger. 78 00:04:31,855 --> 00:04:34,816 Look, point is, fellas, if all those attractive people 79 00:04:34,900 --> 00:04:37,277 with their amazing apartments and interesting jobs, 80 00:04:37,361 --> 00:04:38,862 usually in some creative field, 81 00:04:38,946 --> 00:04:42,282 can go through some lighthearted struggles and still end up happy, 82 00:04:42,366 --> 00:04:43,367 then so can we. 83 00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:45,536 Jennifer Lopez! 84 00:04:46,495 --> 00:04:48,747 That's a great call, Dani, and not at all a beat too late. 85 00:04:49,873 --> 00:04:51,792 Gentlemen, believing in rom-communism 86 00:04:51,875 --> 00:04:54,545 is all about believing that everything's gonna work out in the end. 87 00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:56,713 Now these next few months might be tricky, 88 00:04:57,422 --> 00:04:59,424 but that's just 'cause we're going through our dark forest. 89 00:04:59,508 --> 00:05:02,761 Fairy tales do not start, nor do they end in the dark forest. 90 00:05:02,845 --> 00:05:06,056 That son of a gun always shows up smack-dab in the middle of a story. 91 00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:07,391 But it will all work out. 92 00:05:07,474 --> 00:05:09,017 Now, it may not work out 93 00:05:09,101 --> 00:05:12,312 how you think it will or how you hope it does, 94 00:05:12,396 --> 00:05:16,817 but believe me, it will all work out. 95 00:05:17,442 --> 00:05:18,777 Exactly as it's supposed to. 96 00:05:20,904 --> 00:05:25,325 Our job is to have zero expectations and just let go. 97 00:05:28,620 --> 00:05:29,621 Now, you heard him! 98 00:05:30,914 --> 00:05:32,833 We need to stop playing like shit! 99 00:05:32,916 --> 00:05:36,253 Yeah, not exactly what I said, but I appreciate you, Isaac. 100 00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:38,922 Okay, let's watch the second half. Come on, Coach. 101 00:05:40,007 --> 00:05:41,008 [Nathan blows] 102 00:05:44,094 --> 00:05:46,054 Hey, anyone know what's going on with Isaac? 103 00:05:46,138 --> 00:05:47,598 I got no idea. No. 104 00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:49,600 -Maybe it's piles. -Ah. 105 00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:53,979 I've accepted "aubergine" and "snogging", but "piles" I will not abide. 106 00:05:54,563 --> 00:05:57,274 Wait a second, we play Sheffield Wednesday? 107 00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:59,985 -Saturday. -Oh, we're playing Sheffield Saturday? 108 00:06:00,068 --> 00:06:01,653 Sheffield Wednesday, Saturday. 109 00:06:01,737 --> 00:06:03,488 We gotta play 'em twice in the same week? 110 00:06:03,572 --> 00:06:06,742 [inhales deeply] The club is called Sheffield Wednesday. 111 00:06:06,825 --> 00:06:07,868 We play them on Saturday. 112 00:06:07,951 --> 00:06:10,829 They're called Sheffield Wednesday because they used to only play on Wednesdays. 113 00:06:10,913 --> 00:06:13,081 But nowadays they play on whatever day they feel like, 114 00:06:13,165 --> 00:06:15,042 including, but not limited to, Saturdays, 115 00:06:15,125 --> 00:06:17,252 which, again, is the day we will be playing them. 116 00:06:17,336 --> 00:06:18,921 This Saturday? I can't. I got plans. 117 00:06:19,671 --> 00:06:20,923 -I'm leaving. -Oh, come on. 118 00:06:21,006 --> 00:06:22,466 -[knocks] -Hey, Doc. 119 00:06:22,549 --> 00:06:25,844 Good afternoon. Coach Lasso, is Isaac okay? 120 00:06:25,928 --> 00:06:27,304 No, ma'am, he is not. 121 00:06:28,096 --> 00:06:30,182 Nah, he's a wigwam in a tepee right now. 122 00:06:30,682 --> 00:06:31,850 What does that mean? 123 00:06:31,934 --> 00:06:33,769 -He's too tense. -[both] Boom! 124 00:06:34,811 --> 00:06:36,605 He's wound tighter than my nan's hairnet. 125 00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:39,316 That only makes sense if you know my nan, 126 00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:42,444 but when she wears a hairnet it looks like puppies are trying to escape from it. 127 00:06:42,528 --> 00:06:43,654 Mmm. 128 00:06:44,613 --> 00:06:45,697 I am not crazy. 129 00:06:46,865 --> 00:06:49,701 -Do you want me to talk to Isaac? -No. That's okay. We got it. 130 00:06:49,785 --> 00:06:51,662 I know exactly what Isaac needs. Thank you, though. 131 00:06:52,538 --> 00:06:53,539 Okay. 132 00:06:56,542 --> 00:06:58,585 -What does Isaac need? -Oh, I have no idea. 133 00:06:59,336 --> 00:07:00,504 No, usually in this situation 134 00:07:00,587 --> 00:07:03,257 I'd have a player talk to the team captain before I intervened. 135 00:07:03,340 --> 00:07:04,967 -But Isaac's our captain. -Exactly. 136 00:07:05,050 --> 00:07:07,302 And I can't very well ask Isaac to pull himself aside. 137 00:07:07,386 --> 00:07:09,972 'Cause that would be dangerously close to messing with the, what's it? 138 00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:11,723 -The dark arts? -No, no. 139 00:07:11,807 --> 00:07:13,016 Space-time continuum? 140 00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:14,393 That's it, yeah. 141 00:07:14,977 --> 00:07:17,187 -Oh. -Fact is, Isaac is a big dog, you know? 142 00:07:17,271 --> 00:07:19,398 So he's only going to respond to a big dog himself. 143 00:07:21,066 --> 00:07:22,401 [deep exhale] 144 00:07:22,484 --> 00:07:23,485 I'll do it. 145 00:07:23,569 --> 00:07:24,695 [chuckles] 146 00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:28,240 Oh, you're being serious? 147 00:07:29,324 --> 00:07:30,409 You didn't laugh. 148 00:07:30,492 --> 00:07:31,994 -You knew he was being serious? -Yeah, man. 149 00:07:32,077 --> 00:07:33,453 Shoot. Busted. 150 00:07:33,537 --> 00:07:35,664 Um, I'm sorry about that, Nate. 151 00:07:35,747 --> 00:07:38,041 But I do appreciate the offer, you know? 152 00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:39,793 I think we gotta get him a real big dog. 153 00:07:39,877 --> 00:07:41,879 Yeah, no, goo-- Me too. 154 00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:43,797 -Yeah. Yeah. Thanks. -Yeah. 155 00:07:43,881 --> 00:07:46,258 Okay. Let's see here. 156 00:07:47,926 --> 00:07:49,428 I'm okay with "fanny". 157 00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:54,224 [softly] One, two, three… 158 00:07:54,308 --> 00:07:56,351 -[phone buzzes] -[Rebecca chuckles] 159 00:07:56,935 --> 00:07:57,936 Hmm. 160 00:07:58,520 --> 00:07:59,730 Did you just giggle? 161 00:08:00,564 --> 00:08:01,815 I don't know. Did I? 162 00:08:02,983 --> 00:08:03,984 Maybe. 163 00:08:04,526 --> 00:08:06,361 And now you're doubling down as Shy Rebecca, 164 00:08:06,445 --> 00:08:07,821 who is a fictional character. 165 00:08:07,905 --> 00:08:09,907 She does not actually exist, so something's up. 166 00:08:10,741 --> 00:08:12,117 -[chuckles] -[players chattering] 167 00:08:12,201 --> 00:08:13,202 Hey, boys! 168 00:08:13,285 --> 00:08:15,662 Come get your free Nespresso coffee machines 169 00:08:15,746 --> 00:08:17,456 because I'm amazing at my job! 170 00:08:17,539 --> 00:08:20,834 People who are amazing at their job don't have to point it out. 171 00:08:21,418 --> 00:08:25,088 Actually, that's not how it works anymore. It's all about promoting your own brand. 172 00:08:25,589 --> 00:08:29,176 Oi! Please don't forget to post when you make yourselves an Americano. 173 00:08:29,259 --> 00:08:30,844 I'll put something on my Insta straightaway. 174 00:08:30,928 --> 00:08:31,970 Thanks, Colin. Oh, wait! 175 00:08:32,638 --> 00:08:35,390 Do you think you can make this one post not about Welsh independence? 176 00:08:36,225 --> 00:08:37,226 Yeah. 177 00:08:37,308 --> 00:08:38,352 Hmm. 178 00:08:38,434 --> 00:08:39,477 Thank you. 179 00:08:40,102 --> 00:08:43,482 So can I, like, give this back to you and you give me cash? 180 00:08:43,565 --> 00:08:45,150 -Is that a thing, or… -No. 181 00:08:45,234 --> 00:08:47,027 -Oh, yeah. Ok-- Okay. -[phone chimes] 182 00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:48,111 [gasps] 183 00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:50,489 All right, what the fuck? 184 00:08:50,572 --> 00:08:53,825 Sorry. It's just this mystery man that I've been talking to on Bantr 185 00:08:53,909 --> 00:08:56,203 has just quoted Rilke. 186 00:08:56,828 --> 00:08:59,873 "Our deepest fears are like dragons guarding our deepest treasures". 187 00:08:59,957 --> 00:09:02,000 Oh, that is so hot. 188 00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:06,672 Maybe you're writing letters to a hung poet. 189 00:09:07,297 --> 00:09:08,924 Is that a joke from Sex and The City? 190 00:09:09,007 --> 00:09:10,551 No, but thank you. 191 00:09:10,634 --> 00:09:12,094 I love that you're so excited. 192 00:09:12,177 --> 00:09:16,014 That's so Bantr, a place where minds can come to undress. 193 00:09:16,098 --> 00:09:17,683 That's really good. I'm gonna use that. 194 00:09:17,766 --> 00:09:18,809 I mean, don't get me wrong, 195 00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:22,604 I'm still chatting to these other guys on the other dating app, Tumescent. 196 00:09:22,688 --> 00:09:24,273 Yeah, and what was that discourse like? 197 00:09:25,274 --> 00:09:27,401 Less revealing, but more revealing. 198 00:09:28,235 --> 00:09:29,486 Jesus, where's the rest of it? 199 00:09:31,029 --> 00:09:32,030 Christ. 200 00:09:32,114 --> 00:09:34,575 I mean, shouldn't romance have a little mystery to it? 201 00:09:35,742 --> 00:09:37,077 Sure, it depends on what you want. 202 00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:38,412 -Hmm. -See? 203 00:09:38,495 --> 00:09:41,039 It all comes back to branding, even with love. 204 00:09:42,708 --> 00:09:43,709 Yeah. 205 00:09:44,293 --> 00:09:45,294 Mmm. 206 00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:48,839 Oh, Dani! Enjoy your free coffee. 207 00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:51,967 Oh, I don't drink coffee. My mother says I was born caffeinated. 208 00:09:52,050 --> 00:09:53,594 Is it okay if I give it to my neighbor? 209 00:09:53,677 --> 00:09:55,596 She also doesn't drink coffee but her son does. 210 00:09:55,679 --> 00:09:57,681 And she's trying to encourage more visits from him. 211 00:09:57,764 --> 00:09:58,932 Sure! 212 00:09:59,016 --> 00:10:00,726 -[chuckles] ¡Excelente! -Oh, yeah! [chuckles] 213 00:10:00,809 --> 00:10:02,853 -Oh, wow. Look at this. -Sorry, Nate. 214 00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:04,605 They're actually just for the players. 215 00:10:04,688 --> 00:10:06,523 Oh. Oh, good. 216 00:10:06,607 --> 00:10:09,067 Oh, I hate free coffee anyway, always tastes so, um… 217 00:10:11,904 --> 00:10:13,113 Yeah. Fine. 218 00:10:34,718 --> 00:10:35,719 [Higgins] Hello, Rebecca. 219 00:10:35,802 --> 00:10:37,638 [gasps] Ah! Hello, Higgins. 220 00:10:38,305 --> 00:10:39,389 What can I help you with? 221 00:10:39,473 --> 00:10:40,933 -Payroll. -[clears throat] 222 00:10:41,433 --> 00:10:45,103 Um, we have an inquiry from AFC Wrexham. 223 00:10:45,187 --> 00:10:47,231 Just got a call from their new owners, 224 00:10:47,314 --> 00:10:49,691 showbiz magnates Rob McElhenney and Ryan Reynolds. 225 00:10:50,442 --> 00:10:53,487 I can't tell if them buying the club is a joke or not, 226 00:10:53,570 --> 00:10:55,072 so I haven't replied to them yet. 227 00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:58,408 Right. Did you just see what was on my screen? 228 00:10:59,034 --> 00:11:00,577 -Oh, no, no, no, no. -[sighs] 229 00:11:00,661 --> 00:11:02,371 I have five boys. 230 00:11:02,454 --> 00:11:05,165 I never look over anyone's shoulders to see what's on their screens. 231 00:11:07,084 --> 00:11:08,168 I used to. 232 00:11:08,252 --> 00:11:10,254 -["She's a Rainbow" playing on cell phone] -Oh, apologies! 233 00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:12,381 -That's my wife. -Hmm. 234 00:11:12,464 --> 00:11:14,633 Uh, I'll ring her back later. Keeps it fresh. 235 00:11:14,716 --> 00:11:15,717 Hmm. 236 00:11:15,801 --> 00:11:18,470 But I'll just text her real quick to let her know that. 237 00:11:19,263 --> 00:11:22,975 So your ringtone for your wife is "She's a Rainbow" by the Rolling Stones? 238 00:11:23,058 --> 00:11:25,352 -Yeah. -That's awfully affectionate. 239 00:11:25,435 --> 00:11:27,396 Yeah, well, it's our song. 240 00:11:27,938 --> 00:11:29,648 It was playing the moment we met. 241 00:11:29,731 --> 00:11:33,485 And, uh, it's not an exaggeration. She really is my rainbow. 242 00:11:34,945 --> 00:11:37,573 It is so odd to imagine you young. 243 00:11:37,656 --> 00:11:39,283 Yeah, I get that a lot. 244 00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:41,618 I was the only kid in primary school with sciatica. 245 00:11:42,786 --> 00:11:45,038 I had a gelatinous L4 and five. 246 00:11:45,122 --> 00:11:46,498 Mmm. 247 00:11:46,582 --> 00:11:48,333 Leslie, do you mind me asking, 248 00:11:48,417 --> 00:11:50,252 when you first met your wife, 249 00:11:50,335 --> 00:11:53,088 how did you put yourself across? 250 00:11:53,172 --> 00:11:55,632 You know, what was your brand? 251 00:11:55,716 --> 00:11:56,925 "Brand"? 252 00:11:57,551 --> 00:12:00,262 Well, you know, the night I met my wife, 253 00:12:00,345 --> 00:12:04,266 I was attempting to be a brooding punk with hair spiked out to here. 254 00:12:04,349 --> 00:12:08,770 And then, uh, "She's a Rainbow" came on and I started playing upright air bass 255 00:12:08,854 --> 00:12:12,191 but I had a pint in my hand and ended up pouring beer all over my head. 256 00:12:12,274 --> 00:12:13,233 Oh! 257 00:12:13,317 --> 00:12:15,068 Everyone in the bar laughed, 258 00:12:15,152 --> 00:12:19,364 except one person who handed me a damp, disgusting bar towel. 259 00:12:20,949 --> 00:12:23,160 And I've been married to her for 29 years. 260 00:12:25,162 --> 00:12:29,917 I suppose… the best brand is just being yourself. 261 00:12:32,044 --> 00:12:33,670 [Higgins hums] 262 00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:49,436 [blows raspberry] 263 00:12:52,397 --> 00:12:54,107 [sighs] It's fine. 264 00:13:00,030 --> 00:13:01,156 [swallows] 265 00:13:08,580 --> 00:13:10,290 -Nate? -Yeah? 266 00:13:10,374 --> 00:13:11,375 Do you need something? 267 00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:14,586 No, me? No, me? No, thank you. No, but-- 268 00:13:19,550 --> 00:13:22,344 Actually, there is possibly one thing you might be able to help with. 269 00:13:22,427 --> 00:13:23,512 Yeah, come sit down. 270 00:13:23,595 --> 00:13:24,847 Oh, thank you. 271 00:13:24,930 --> 00:13:26,557 -Hmm. [chuckles] -Oh. [chuckles] 272 00:13:27,558 --> 00:13:28,559 [sighs] 273 00:13:32,437 --> 00:13:33,522 Can you make me famous? 274 00:13:34,523 --> 00:13:36,775 No! Nate, you don't wanna be famous. 275 00:13:36,859 --> 00:13:37,901 I don't? 276 00:13:37,985 --> 00:13:40,737 No! There'll be photographers all up your bum. 277 00:13:40,821 --> 00:13:41,989 Oh. Yuck. 278 00:13:42,072 --> 00:13:43,866 Yeah, and tabloids going through your rubbish. 279 00:13:43,949 --> 00:13:44,908 I don't want that. 280 00:13:44,992 --> 00:13:47,286 -Groupies everywhere? -That's not horrible. 281 00:13:47,369 --> 00:13:48,370 Nate. 282 00:13:48,453 --> 00:13:50,539 Come on. You are who you are because of who you are. 283 00:13:51,665 --> 00:13:53,667 Your intelligence and your talent. 284 00:13:55,043 --> 00:13:56,712 You don't wanna go messing around with fame. 285 00:13:57,212 --> 00:13:58,964 [sighs] I don't know, 286 00:13:59,047 --> 00:14:01,175 being famous seems to have some perks though, right? 287 00:14:01,758 --> 00:14:03,886 Famous people get sent so much free shit. 288 00:14:03,969 --> 00:14:05,888 Lot of the time they don't figure out what they want. 289 00:14:05,971 --> 00:14:08,932 I know what I want. A window table at a restaurant. 290 00:14:09,016 --> 00:14:10,017 Is that it? 291 00:14:10,100 --> 00:14:11,977 Well, that plus maybe some of those groupies 292 00:14:12,060 --> 00:14:13,228 you mentioned earlier, but-- 293 00:14:13,312 --> 00:14:14,188 [chuckles] 294 00:14:14,271 --> 00:14:16,273 No, obviously not. That's, um, that's degrading. 295 00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:17,733 I didn't mean to-- Sorry. 296 00:14:17,816 --> 00:14:18,942 Come with me. 297 00:14:21,987 --> 00:14:23,405 -Huh? -Come on! 298 00:14:30,495 --> 00:14:32,581 Nathan needs a table at a restaurant. 299 00:14:32,664 --> 00:14:34,333 Whoo, excellent. 300 00:14:35,125 --> 00:14:36,668 Alain Ducasse at The Dorchester? 301 00:14:36,752 --> 00:14:38,003 Ooh, L'Atelier Robuchon. 302 00:14:38,837 --> 00:14:40,214 Chiltern Firehouse! 303 00:14:40,297 --> 00:14:43,842 No, er-- Um, it's, uh, A Taste of Athens in T-Tooting. 304 00:14:44,801 --> 00:14:46,011 Did he just say, "Tooting"? 305 00:14:46,094 --> 00:14:48,931 Tooting. It's his parents' favorite place. 306 00:14:49,515 --> 00:14:52,059 Well, it's the place that my dad complains about the least. 307 00:14:52,142 --> 00:14:55,145 Wait, you can't get a table at something called "A Taste of Athens" 308 00:14:55,229 --> 00:14:56,563 in Tooting? 309 00:14:56,647 --> 00:14:57,940 No, it's impossible. 310 00:14:58,023 --> 00:15:00,025 All right. Well, there's a simple solution to that. 311 00:15:00,108 --> 00:15:01,235 I'll just buy the restaurant. 312 00:15:01,318 --> 00:15:02,611 [chuckles] 313 00:15:02,694 --> 00:15:04,238 Well, you know the saying? 314 00:15:04,321 --> 00:15:06,240 "You buy a man a table, he eats once. 315 00:15:06,323 --> 00:15:08,408 You teach a man how to get a table 316 00:15:08,492 --> 00:15:10,827 and he eats at that restaurant until it becomes a Starbucks." 317 00:15:10,911 --> 00:15:14,623 Oh, this is silly! Nathan, just be assertive. 318 00:15:14,706 --> 00:15:16,959 Yes. Yes. Yes. 319 00:15:17,042 --> 00:15:18,460 Brilliant. Spectacular. 320 00:15:19,086 --> 00:15:21,004 Lovely. Wonderful. It's wonderful. 321 00:15:21,088 --> 00:15:22,464 [chuckles] Perfect. 322 00:15:22,965 --> 00:15:24,842 -Sorry, we just-- No. -Mmm. 323 00:15:26,552 --> 00:15:28,011 Oh, my God. 324 00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:30,556 We've got work to do. 325 00:15:30,639 --> 00:15:31,682 Mm-hmm. 326 00:15:36,728 --> 00:15:41,233 I told you, either you take down my photo or you start giving me free kebabs. 327 00:15:41,859 --> 00:15:43,026 7.50, mate. 328 00:15:43,110 --> 00:15:44,194 Fair enough. 329 00:15:46,071 --> 00:15:47,072 No way! 330 00:15:47,155 --> 00:15:49,116 Fancy running into you here, 331 00:15:49,199 --> 00:15:52,494 after asking Keeley where you were and scootin' my boot right over, that is. 332 00:15:52,578 --> 00:15:53,662 She told me to expect 333 00:15:53,745 --> 00:15:56,540 a mustachioed surprise that would anger me. 334 00:15:59,209 --> 00:16:02,504 I thought it was gonna be Wario or my great-aunt Natalie. 335 00:16:02,588 --> 00:16:04,256 I don't know what makes your aunt Natalie so great, 336 00:16:04,339 --> 00:16:06,592 but I appreciate your effusiveness, despite her appearance. 337 00:16:06,675 --> 00:16:07,926 [growls] 338 00:16:08,719 --> 00:16:10,220 I'll have what he's having. 339 00:16:12,931 --> 00:16:15,517 Why are you bothering me at my kebab place? 340 00:16:15,601 --> 00:16:17,311 -This is like my church. -Oh? 341 00:16:17,394 --> 00:16:20,314 Who knew transubstantiation could happen with a pita? [chuckles] 342 00:16:22,399 --> 00:16:23,901 What do you think about joining the coaching staff? 343 00:16:23,984 --> 00:16:25,360 Fuck off. 344 00:16:25,444 --> 00:16:27,529 Mmm, that's a solid negotiation tactic right there. 345 00:16:28,155 --> 00:16:29,364 I don't wanna coach. 346 00:16:29,448 --> 00:16:31,825 I like what I'm doing, and I'm good at it. 347 00:16:31,909 --> 00:16:35,871 People tweet about me, with JIFs and everything. 348 00:16:35,954 --> 00:16:38,332 I know some folks pronounce it "GIFs", but I hear you. 349 00:16:39,041 --> 00:16:40,876 Look, if you enjoy doing the whole pundit thing, 350 00:16:40,959 --> 00:16:42,753 then you should do it for the rest of your life. 351 00:16:43,670 --> 00:16:45,255 Why won't you let me be happy? 352 00:16:46,215 --> 00:16:48,091 -Here you go, mate. -Thank you. 353 00:16:49,134 --> 00:16:52,095 -You two are father and son, right? -What? No. 354 00:16:52,179 --> 00:16:53,972 Mm-mmm. I'm his former coach. 355 00:16:54,056 --> 00:16:55,641 [waiter] Ah, it's all the same thing. 356 00:16:55,724 --> 00:16:57,851 You two remind me of me and my old man when I told him 357 00:16:57,935 --> 00:17:00,354 I was leaving medical school a week before graduation. 358 00:17:00,437 --> 00:17:01,522 Ooh, I bet that's a story. 359 00:17:02,231 --> 00:17:03,774 Would have made a great doctor too. 360 00:17:03,857 --> 00:17:05,108 I was really good at it. 361 00:17:05,192 --> 00:17:08,529 Bedside manner, reading charts, cutting up shit. 362 00:17:10,571 --> 00:17:12,574 But it's just not what I was meant to do. 363 00:17:14,492 --> 00:17:16,411 What? I love making a doner kebab. 364 00:17:17,788 --> 00:17:20,082 Anyway, how's that kebab, my friend? 365 00:17:20,165 --> 00:17:22,542 Well, to quote Drizzy, it's the best I ever had. 366 00:17:22,626 --> 00:17:24,586 -Good, right? Cool. -Mm-hmm. 367 00:17:27,214 --> 00:17:29,424 Look, Roy, all kibbles and bits aside, 368 00:17:30,008 --> 00:17:32,636 I'm really just here to ask you for a favor for an old friend. 369 00:17:32,719 --> 00:17:34,304 One Mr. Isaac McAdoo. 370 00:17:34,388 --> 00:17:37,015 Hmm. He's all up in his head, isn't he? 371 00:17:37,099 --> 00:17:40,227 Yes, he is. And I need him to check out of there by Saturday. 372 00:17:40,310 --> 00:17:41,311 You got any ideas? 373 00:17:43,605 --> 00:17:45,524 Let me finish my kebab and pray on it. 374 00:17:50,946 --> 00:17:51,947 Right there. 375 00:17:53,490 --> 00:17:54,867 For the collection plate. 376 00:17:54,950 --> 00:17:55,951 Later, skater. 377 00:18:01,206 --> 00:18:02,791 Well, this place is ruined now. 378 00:18:06,003 --> 00:18:07,254 Hello, sir. Can I help you? 379 00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:10,382 Uh, yes. Um, Nathan Shelley, party of three. 380 00:18:10,465 --> 00:18:12,301 Let's see, Mr. Shelby. 381 00:18:12,384 --> 00:18:14,344 Yes, Shelby. Sorry, I should have said Shelby. 382 00:18:14,428 --> 00:18:16,638 [imitates buzzer] No. That is not your name. 383 00:18:16,722 --> 00:18:17,973 -It's pretty close. -No, no! 384 00:18:18,056 --> 00:18:19,641 Start again, from the top. 385 00:18:20,767 --> 00:18:22,227 [clears throat] May I help you? 386 00:18:22,311 --> 00:18:23,937 Yes, Shelley, party of three. 387 00:18:24,021 --> 00:18:25,522 Ah, yes! Mr. Shelfy. 388 00:18:25,606 --> 00:18:27,524 It's Shelley, and you know it, you dithering kestrel! 389 00:18:27,608 --> 00:18:29,443 -Jesus. -No. 390 00:18:29,526 --> 00:18:30,527 Too much. 391 00:18:31,528 --> 00:18:34,531 You don't need to be loud, Nathan. You just need to be commanding. 392 00:18:34,615 --> 00:18:37,075 With all due respect, it's different for me, Miss Welton. 393 00:18:37,159 --> 00:18:38,785 You command every room you walk into. 394 00:18:38,869 --> 00:18:40,579 Oh-- Hardly. 395 00:18:40,662 --> 00:18:43,040 Have you ever been in a room full of football club chairmen? 396 00:18:43,123 --> 00:18:44,124 No. 397 00:18:44,208 --> 00:18:45,792 Every time I walk into one of those meetings, 398 00:18:45,876 --> 00:18:48,212 they look at me like some schoolgirl with pigtails. 399 00:18:48,295 --> 00:18:50,881 -Oh, you'd look well fit with pigtails. -I do. 400 00:18:50,964 --> 00:18:51,965 But I have a secret: 401 00:18:53,050 --> 00:18:54,801 I make myself big. 402 00:18:54,885 --> 00:18:56,595 Before I go into the room, 403 00:18:56,678 --> 00:18:59,306 I find somewhere private, I stand up on my tiptoes, 404 00:18:59,389 --> 00:19:02,184 put my arms in the air and make myself as big as possible 405 00:19:02,267 --> 00:19:03,352 to feel my own power. 406 00:19:04,937 --> 00:19:06,605 [sighs] Like this. 407 00:19:06,688 --> 00:19:08,065 [clears throat] 408 00:19:11,276 --> 00:19:14,071 [inhales deeply] 409 00:19:15,113 --> 00:19:16,990 [growling] 410 00:19:18,825 --> 00:19:20,494 [growling continues] 411 00:19:21,328 --> 00:19:23,372 -[growling stops] -Fuck, you're amazing. 412 00:19:23,455 --> 00:19:24,748 Let's invade France. 413 00:19:26,333 --> 00:19:29,378 It's a bit silly, but it works for me. Find your own thing. 414 00:19:29,461 --> 00:19:31,463 But don't back down, Nathan. 415 00:19:32,631 --> 00:19:34,508 You deserve whatever you want. 416 00:19:35,092 --> 00:19:36,468 Yeah. 417 00:19:40,472 --> 00:19:42,599 What the hell are we gonna do with Roy anyway? 418 00:19:42,683 --> 00:19:45,185 Same thing you do when you cross an elephant with a rhinoceros, 419 00:19:45,269 --> 00:19:46,270 hell if I know. 420 00:19:47,729 --> 00:19:50,440 Look, Roy just told me to bring you to this address, ready to play. 421 00:19:50,524 --> 00:19:52,442 I didn't press him for details. You know how he gets. 422 00:19:52,526 --> 00:19:54,987 -[scoffs] Fucking crabby, ain't he? -Heck yeah. 423 00:19:55,070 --> 00:19:57,281 Ain't no side-eye like a Roy Kent side-eye. 424 00:19:57,364 --> 00:19:59,199 It's like he's 24-7 hangry. 425 00:19:59,283 --> 00:20:00,868 Mm-hmm, 365. 426 00:20:00,951 --> 00:20:02,911 366 on leap years, baby. 427 00:20:03,537 --> 00:20:05,747 Seriously, do you know where you're going? 428 00:20:05,831 --> 00:20:07,040 Well, no. This is it. 429 00:20:07,124 --> 00:20:09,168 Here, I'll just text him. Let him know we're here. 430 00:20:10,836 --> 00:20:12,045 -[cell phone beeps] -[phone chimes] 431 00:20:12,129 --> 00:20:13,463 [both yell] 432 00:20:14,464 --> 00:20:16,258 -Yeah, Roy? -McAdoo. 433 00:20:16,341 --> 00:20:17,968 What we doing here? What-- 434 00:20:21,805 --> 00:20:23,515 [clears throat] Whoo. 435 00:20:39,156 --> 00:20:40,282 See that block of flats? 436 00:20:41,700 --> 00:20:44,077 -What? The shit one? -That's where I grew up. 437 00:20:44,161 --> 00:20:45,162 Oh. 438 00:20:46,205 --> 00:20:47,414 This… 439 00:20:48,081 --> 00:20:49,416 This is where I lived. 440 00:20:50,167 --> 00:20:51,210 Where I learned football. 441 00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:53,337 Every fucking day. 442 00:20:53,837 --> 00:20:56,882 And during my career, when I was going through a bad patch, 443 00:20:56,965 --> 00:20:59,092 I'd come back here and play. 444 00:21:00,552 --> 00:21:01,553 Oi! 445 00:21:02,346 --> 00:21:03,764 This is Isaac. 446 00:21:05,098 --> 00:21:07,809 These are all the other fucks. You're with them. 447 00:21:08,393 --> 00:21:10,395 You what? You expect me to play with them? 448 00:21:11,563 --> 00:21:13,815 I'm a professional, mate. I'll fucking kill 'em. 449 00:21:13,899 --> 00:21:15,025 [players chattering] 450 00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:19,321 We'll see. 451 00:21:20,364 --> 00:21:22,449 -What about me? What do I get to do? -Nothing. 452 00:21:22,533 --> 00:21:23,909 Aw, come on. Can I keep score? 453 00:21:23,992 --> 00:21:25,452 Fine. 454 00:21:25,536 --> 00:21:27,162 All right, I'm gonna use my fingers. 455 00:21:27,246 --> 00:21:28,330 It's zero-zero! 456 00:21:28,413 --> 00:21:30,624 -Nil-nil. -It is nil-nil. 457 00:21:31,375 --> 00:21:33,293 [sighs] 458 00:21:38,298 --> 00:21:41,051 Hello. [clears throat] Uh, Shelley, party of three. 459 00:21:41,134 --> 00:21:43,095 Let's see, Shelley. 460 00:21:43,178 --> 00:21:44,304 No! My name-- 461 00:21:44,388 --> 00:21:46,807 Sorry, uh, yes, that's correct. 462 00:21:46,890 --> 00:21:50,185 In fact, that's all our names. That's my dad there and my mum as well. 463 00:21:50,269 --> 00:21:51,937 Yeah, we're all Shelleys. 464 00:21:52,020 --> 00:21:54,189 -A gaggle of Shelleys. -Stop blabbing up the young lady. 465 00:21:54,273 --> 00:21:56,024 -Your mother's hungry. -Stop it, Lloyd. 466 00:21:56,108 --> 00:21:57,526 Forgive your father, my darling. 467 00:21:57,609 --> 00:22:00,195 -He's been wanting this saganaki all week. -Ah. 468 00:22:00,737 --> 00:22:04,616 Mmm, as you may remember, it's their 35th wedding anniversary. Jade. 469 00:22:05,284 --> 00:22:06,493 Of course. 470 00:22:08,537 --> 00:22:09,538 Right this way. 471 00:22:16,587 --> 00:22:17,588 Um… 472 00:22:20,674 --> 00:22:23,760 Sorry, uh, if you remember, I requested the window table? 473 00:22:23,844 --> 00:22:26,555 Sorry, we don't take reservations for the window table. 474 00:22:31,852 --> 00:22:33,145 Excuse me one moment. 475 00:22:34,396 --> 00:22:35,606 S-- Uh… 476 00:22:37,441 --> 00:22:39,443 [panting] 477 00:22:45,032 --> 00:22:47,075 [inhales deeply] 478 00:22:58,003 --> 00:23:00,839 You are Nathan fucking Shelley. 479 00:23:01,632 --> 00:23:02,633 [spits] 480 00:23:10,641 --> 00:23:11,642 Be right back. 481 00:23:11,725 --> 00:23:13,060 Don't get too comfortable. 482 00:23:20,275 --> 00:23:23,028 Jade, this is a special night for my parents, 483 00:23:23,111 --> 00:23:24,404 and the window table is open. 484 00:23:24,488 --> 00:23:26,865 So, here is what I would love to see happen. 485 00:23:28,033 --> 00:23:29,660 You're gonna give us that table, 486 00:23:29,743 --> 00:23:31,912 and then my family and I are gonna order a starter, 487 00:23:31,995 --> 00:23:34,456 main course, little dessert, a bottle of wine. 488 00:23:34,540 --> 00:23:38,043 And you are going to be stunned by how quickly a gaggle of Shelleys 489 00:23:38,126 --> 00:23:40,379 can get through a three-course meal and get out of here. 490 00:23:40,462 --> 00:23:41,505 So what do you say? 491 00:23:42,381 --> 00:23:43,382 Okay. 492 00:23:45,467 --> 00:23:46,468 [whistles] 493 00:23:46,552 --> 00:23:48,011 Mum, Dad. [whistles] 494 00:23:48,595 --> 00:23:50,472 Perhaps you'd like to give me your number as well? 495 00:23:50,556 --> 00:23:52,140 No, that's okay. 496 00:23:53,350 --> 00:23:54,434 Sorry, I'm picky. 497 00:23:54,518 --> 00:23:56,645 Mmm. Me too. I-- 498 00:23:57,938 --> 00:23:59,106 I'm not a dog. 499 00:24:08,198 --> 00:24:09,199 [Nathan] Thank you. 500 00:24:17,833 --> 00:24:19,459 [players chattering] 501 00:24:20,752 --> 00:24:23,255 Hey, Roy! Sure you don't wanna play? 502 00:24:23,338 --> 00:24:25,591 You on one leg is better than this fool on two. 503 00:24:26,925 --> 00:24:27,968 Well-- 504 00:24:35,017 --> 00:24:36,101 [yells, groans] 505 00:24:36,185 --> 00:24:37,561 -Ooh. -[player] Take that, you little bitch. 506 00:24:37,644 --> 00:24:41,899 Easy, mate. I think you hurt him. Emotionally. [laughs] 507 00:24:43,066 --> 00:24:46,612 What the fuck, Roy? Did you bring me 'round here to get my leg broke? 508 00:24:46,695 --> 00:24:47,696 [Roy] No. 509 00:24:47,779 --> 00:24:52,201 I brought you here to remind you that football is a fucking game 510 00:24:52,284 --> 00:24:54,203 that you used to play as a fucking kid. 511 00:24:54,286 --> 00:24:55,495 'Cause it was fun, 512 00:24:55,996 --> 00:24:58,123 even when you were getting your fucking legs broken 513 00:24:58,207 --> 00:24:59,625 or your fucking feelings hurt. 514 00:25:00,209 --> 00:25:01,460 So, fuck your feelings, 515 00:25:01,543 --> 00:25:04,379 fuck your overthinking, fuck all that bullshit, 516 00:25:04,463 --> 00:25:08,884 go back out there and have some fucking fun. 517 00:25:12,638 --> 00:25:14,264 All right, game on. 518 00:25:19,978 --> 00:25:21,063 Was that all right? 519 00:25:21,605 --> 00:25:22,606 That was great. 520 00:25:23,607 --> 00:25:24,650 Too many fucks? 521 00:25:25,526 --> 00:25:26,777 I don't know. 522 00:25:26,860 --> 00:25:29,196 Kinda like all the nipples in that movie, Showgirls. 523 00:25:29,279 --> 00:25:30,697 Halfway through, you don't even notice. 524 00:25:30,781 --> 00:25:33,158 You just kinda get sucked into the narrative. 525 00:25:34,368 --> 00:25:36,078 I dated Gina Gershon once. 526 00:25:37,579 --> 00:25:38,872 That makes me happy. 527 00:25:38,956 --> 00:25:39,957 ["Song 2" playing] 528 00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:41,166 Get off me! 529 00:25:52,094 --> 00:25:54,638 -[giggling] -Come on. 530 00:25:57,432 --> 00:25:58,976 [player laughs] 531 00:25:59,601 --> 00:26:01,228 [Roy claps] 532 00:26:06,275 --> 00:26:07,526 [player] All right. Come on! 533 00:26:16,994 --> 00:26:18,745 -You gotta be kidding me. -[players] Whoo! 534 00:26:19,329 --> 00:26:20,372 [player 2] Whoo! Come on! 535 00:26:23,959 --> 00:26:26,086 -[player 3] Whoo! Whoo! -McAdoodle-doo! 536 00:26:26,587 --> 00:26:28,213 McAdoodle-doo! 537 00:26:28,297 --> 00:26:29,464 [player 4] Come on! 538 00:26:30,674 --> 00:26:34,303 [players shouting, chattering] 539 00:26:36,930 --> 00:26:38,432 Nice work tonight, Coach. 540 00:26:38,515 --> 00:26:40,601 Do you really think I'm gonna fall for this shit? 541 00:26:40,684 --> 00:26:41,810 Fall for what? 542 00:26:42,644 --> 00:26:45,606 You're trying to get me to come back to the club and coach. 543 00:26:45,689 --> 00:26:46,732 It won't work. 544 00:26:46,815 --> 00:26:48,400 Roy, I got zero interest-- 545 00:26:48,483 --> 00:26:52,070 Excuse me, nil interest in making you do something that ain't in your heart. 546 00:26:53,530 --> 00:26:55,199 So, you're really not playing games? 547 00:26:55,282 --> 00:26:56,450 Maybe a little. 548 00:26:57,451 --> 00:26:58,452 I'm sorry, Roy, 549 00:26:59,369 --> 00:27:01,288 but I came here tonight 'cause when you realize 550 00:27:01,371 --> 00:27:03,999 you wanna spend the rest of your life coaching with somebody, 551 00:27:04,082 --> 00:27:06,043 you want the rest of your life to begin ASAP. 552 00:27:06,710 --> 00:27:07,711 Please stop. 553 00:27:08,295 --> 00:27:09,796 You complete our team. 554 00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:11,131 You're an asshole. 555 00:27:11,215 --> 00:27:14,760 I'm also just a coach, standing in front of a boy, 556 00:27:14,843 --> 00:27:16,136 -asking him if-- -Listen, 557 00:27:16,220 --> 00:27:18,347 I'm never coming back to Richmond. 558 00:27:18,430 --> 00:27:20,182 Not now, not ever. 559 00:27:21,808 --> 00:27:22,976 Now fuck off. 560 00:27:27,231 --> 00:27:28,565 As you wish. 561 00:27:37,282 --> 00:27:38,825 [groans] 562 00:27:38,909 --> 00:27:40,786 Hey, I'm sorry about that, Coach. 563 00:27:40,869 --> 00:27:44,623 -Set your alarm for p.m. instead of a.m.? -Yes, sir, Steve Kerr. Thank you. 564 00:27:44,706 --> 00:27:46,959 -Still, you got down here pretty quick. -Yeah, well, 565 00:27:47,042 --> 00:27:49,670 I think a fella should only take as long as the tune "Easy Lover" 566 00:27:49,753 --> 00:27:52,256 by Phil Collins and Philip Bailey to get dressed in the morning. 567 00:27:52,339 --> 00:27:53,799 -Makes sense. -Yeah. 568 00:27:53,882 --> 00:27:58,637 Whoo! It is a beautiful Saturday, and we are playing Sheffield Wednesday. 569 00:27:58,720 --> 00:28:00,848 -Aka "The Owls." -Hey, how 'bout that? 570 00:28:00,931 --> 00:28:02,558 Hey, you never finished your joke. 571 00:28:03,183 --> 00:28:04,184 What joke? 572 00:28:04,268 --> 00:28:05,727 What does a British owl say? 573 00:28:06,228 --> 00:28:07,271 Oh, right. 574 00:28:08,021 --> 00:28:09,982 Whom. Whom. 575 00:28:12,192 --> 00:28:13,277 Worth the wait. 576 00:28:13,902 --> 00:28:17,906 ["L-O-V-E" by Nat King Cole playing] 577 00:28:30,210 --> 00:28:32,296 We had season tickets for Richmond. 578 00:28:32,379 --> 00:28:33,839 My family was well-off. 579 00:28:33,922 --> 00:28:36,133 I was a young punk that snuck in every week. 580 00:28:36,216 --> 00:28:38,719 My father wanted us in the best seats in the house. 581 00:28:38,802 --> 00:28:41,346 I sat there because she was there. 582 00:28:41,430 --> 00:28:43,765 My mother and my boyfriend were furious. 583 00:28:43,849 --> 00:28:46,018 They wanted to call security to kick him out. 584 00:28:46,101 --> 00:28:47,936 But she insisted that I should stay. 585 00:28:48,478 --> 00:28:51,481 -And we fell in love. -And we fell in love. 586 00:28:52,399 --> 00:28:55,110 Years later, a close friend of the family 587 00:28:55,194 --> 00:28:58,197 used the same story line for the film Titanic. 588 00:28:58,280 --> 00:29:00,407 And we've been in litigation ever since. 589 00:29:01,033 --> 00:29:03,327 -Together. -Together. 590 00:29:05,579 --> 00:29:07,956 -Come on, Richmond! -Richmond! 591 00:29:19,384 --> 00:29:20,761 [chuckles] 592 00:29:21,762 --> 00:29:22,763 Mmm. 593 00:29:24,056 --> 00:29:25,849 Just stop with the foreplay. 594 00:29:25,933 --> 00:29:28,227 Tell him you own Richmond and that you're fucking fit. 595 00:29:42,491 --> 00:29:43,867 -Coach. -Doctor. 596 00:29:43,951 --> 00:29:45,744 Floor. Ceiling. 597 00:29:45,827 --> 00:29:46,954 Trash can. 598 00:29:47,037 --> 00:29:48,121 Now you go. 599 00:29:48,830 --> 00:29:50,958 I was just checking in. See how you're feeling. 600 00:29:51,041 --> 00:29:53,043 Oh, well, that's mighty nice of you. 601 00:29:53,126 --> 00:29:54,461 How am I feeling? 602 00:29:54,545 --> 00:29:55,546 I don't know, you know? 603 00:29:55,629 --> 00:29:58,715 I-- I'm just dealing with the terror of knowing what this world is about, 604 00:29:58,799 --> 00:30:00,008 you know? 605 00:30:00,092 --> 00:30:02,553 Watching a few good friends screaming to let them out. 606 00:30:03,762 --> 00:30:05,305 So, you're feeling under pressure? 607 00:30:05,389 --> 00:30:06,974 ♪ Ba ba ba be doo ♪ 608 00:30:08,016 --> 00:30:09,852 Well, my door is always open. 609 00:30:09,935 --> 00:30:10,978 Then why even have one? 610 00:30:11,061 --> 00:30:13,730 Heck, Coach Beard could take that thing out for ya Jack Torrance style 611 00:30:13,814 --> 00:30:14,857 with eight good whacks. 612 00:30:14,940 --> 00:30:16,191 -Five good whacks. -Hmm. 613 00:30:16,275 --> 00:30:18,485 Lumberjack World Championship qualifier, baby! 614 00:30:19,778 --> 00:30:22,030 That man has had many lives, many masters. 615 00:30:22,114 --> 00:30:25,325 Oh, snap! Hottie alert. Look at this guy. Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! 616 00:30:25,409 --> 00:30:26,952 Hot-cha-cha. Oh, ho, ho. 617 00:30:27,035 --> 00:30:28,370 Game day suit. I love it. 618 00:30:28,453 --> 00:30:29,746 Not too much? 619 00:30:29,830 --> 00:30:31,665 What? Too much class? No such thing. 620 00:30:35,085 --> 00:30:38,088 If you are out to describe the truth, leave elegance to the tailor. 621 00:30:41,675 --> 00:30:45,345 Hey, I appreciate you checking in, Doc. All right. Let's go, Greyhounds! Whoo! 622 00:30:46,346 --> 00:30:47,556 [Stelling] And we're back. 623 00:30:47,639 --> 00:30:48,974 Let's round off the Premier League 624 00:30:49,057 --> 00:30:51,476 with Arsenal heading on the road to Newcastle, 625 00:30:51,560 --> 00:30:54,688 where 17-year-old Matthew Kerr will make his debut. 626 00:30:54,771 --> 00:30:58,192 They're calling him the Irish Ronaldo. What can we expect today? 627 00:30:58,275 --> 00:31:01,278 Well, I think we can expect to see a commanding performance from the lad. 628 00:31:01,361 --> 00:31:03,238 Roy, what do you think he'll do today? 629 00:31:03,322 --> 00:31:05,699 I don't know. He's 17. 630 00:31:05,782 --> 00:31:08,160 He'll probably have chips for dinner and a wank before bed. 631 00:31:08,243 --> 00:31:10,412 Oh, apologies for the language. 632 00:31:10,495 --> 00:31:13,498 -[sighs] -Roy, I was looking for some insight 633 00:31:13,582 --> 00:31:15,042 about how he'll play. 634 00:31:15,125 --> 00:31:16,418 I told you, I don't know. 635 00:31:17,794 --> 00:31:19,379 All we do is sit around here 636 00:31:19,463 --> 00:31:22,132 and guess what a bunch of little pricks are gonna go and do out there, 637 00:31:22,216 --> 00:31:23,383 then we come back at halftime, 638 00:31:23,467 --> 00:31:26,720 and we complain 'cause they didn't do exactly what we thought they'd do. 639 00:31:27,930 --> 00:31:29,223 We don't know. 640 00:31:30,891 --> 00:31:32,351 Of course we don't know. 641 00:31:34,311 --> 00:31:36,021 We're not in the locker rooms with them. 642 00:31:36,104 --> 00:31:37,439 We're not on the pitch with them. 643 00:31:37,523 --> 00:31:40,192 We can't look 'em in the eyes and encourage them to be better 644 00:31:40,275 --> 00:31:42,444 than they ever thought they were capable of being. 645 00:31:43,862 --> 00:31:44,863 We're just-- 646 00:31:46,031 --> 00:31:48,575 We're just on the outside looking in. 647 00:31:50,327 --> 00:31:51,328 Judging them. 648 00:31:53,455 --> 00:31:54,957 [clears throat] Okay, Roy. 649 00:31:55,582 --> 00:31:59,878 Uh, well, here's a look at your old team warming up in an interesting new way. 650 00:31:59,962 --> 00:32:01,463 -Hey! [laughing] -Whoo. 651 00:32:06,677 --> 00:32:08,846 [all shouting] 652 00:32:09,805 --> 00:32:10,806 [both] Whoa, oh. 653 00:32:10,889 --> 00:32:12,349 [all shouting] 654 00:32:13,892 --> 00:32:15,978 [George] Look, it's all pretty loosey-goosey, isn't it? 655 00:32:16,061 --> 00:32:17,145 Especially for a team 656 00:32:17,229 --> 00:32:19,481 that's at the business end of the relegation zone. 657 00:32:19,565 --> 00:32:22,401 [Kamara] But it's good to see McAdoo with a smile on his face. 658 00:32:22,484 --> 00:32:25,320 He's been a shadow of himself all season. 659 00:32:25,404 --> 00:32:27,823 I wonder what's gotten into him. 660 00:32:27,906 --> 00:32:29,825 Oh, dang. Yeah, come on, now. Come on, man. 661 00:32:29,908 --> 00:32:32,327 Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. 662 00:32:32,828 --> 00:32:33,829 Pow. 663 00:32:34,746 --> 00:32:35,747 There you go. All right. 664 00:32:35,831 --> 00:32:37,040 Gentleman. 665 00:32:37,666 --> 00:32:39,668 [crowd cheering] 666 00:32:41,003 --> 00:32:43,714 [Stelling] Bloody cold out there today. Bet you don't miss that, Roy. 667 00:32:44,214 --> 00:32:45,257 What? 668 00:32:45,340 --> 00:32:47,593 [Stelling] Said, I bet you don't miss the cold, hey, Roy? 669 00:32:49,178 --> 00:32:50,429 I miss all of it. 670 00:32:52,181 --> 00:32:53,182 'Scuse me. 671 00:32:54,057 --> 00:32:56,101 -What are you doing? -I'm sorry, fellas. 672 00:32:56,685 --> 00:32:58,103 This isn't what I'm meant to do. 673 00:32:59,521 --> 00:33:01,523 ["She's a Rainbow" playing] 674 00:33:03,192 --> 00:33:04,193 [Stelling] Roy! 675 00:33:05,986 --> 00:33:08,989 Jeff, I have to go. 676 00:33:13,744 --> 00:33:15,746 [music continues] 677 00:33:38,060 --> 00:33:40,229 Thank you. Cheers, Ben. 678 00:33:41,230 --> 00:33:42,773 -[sighs] -[driver chuckles] 679 00:33:42,856 --> 00:33:44,691 -You're Roy Kent. -No, I'm not. 680 00:33:45,734 --> 00:33:47,819 All right, I am. Take me to Nelson Road. 681 00:33:47,903 --> 00:33:49,112 [driver] No. Headed home. 682 00:33:49,196 --> 00:33:51,573 It's me anniversary, mate, and I haven't bought a present. 683 00:33:55,702 --> 00:33:56,954 Fuck. 684 00:33:58,121 --> 00:34:00,332 Right, my wife loves cash. 685 00:34:00,415 --> 00:34:01,959 -[Roy] Cheers. -[driver chuckles] 686 00:34:20,060 --> 00:34:22,478 Sorry, mate, this is as far as I can get ya. 687 00:34:24,523 --> 00:34:27,442 I'll tell you the thing Nikki Sixx said in the Mötley Crüe Behind the Music. 688 00:34:27,525 --> 00:34:29,570 -"You gotta date your wife." -Thanks, Roy. 689 00:34:34,199 --> 00:34:35,742 -[crack] -[grunts] 690 00:34:36,952 --> 00:34:38,203 Fuck! 691 00:34:39,288 --> 00:34:41,331 Fuck. Fuck. [pants] 692 00:34:44,835 --> 00:34:46,795 Oi, you see this new watch? 693 00:34:46,879 --> 00:34:49,214 You get me to Nelson Road in ten minutes, it's yours. 694 00:34:49,297 --> 00:34:50,549 -Get in. -[exhales] 695 00:34:51,132 --> 00:34:52,134 [groans] 696 00:34:54,344 --> 00:34:55,512 [squeaks] 697 00:35:08,525 --> 00:35:09,860 Cheers. 698 00:35:11,028 --> 00:35:12,321 No! 699 00:35:18,076 --> 00:35:19,703 -I've gotta get in there. -Do you have a ticket? 700 00:35:19,786 --> 00:35:22,623 -I can't let anyone in without a ticket. -I'm Roy Kent. 701 00:35:22,706 --> 00:35:23,999 -He does look like him. -A little. 702 00:35:24,082 --> 00:35:25,209 Around the mouth. 703 00:35:25,292 --> 00:35:26,376 Ah, for fuck's sake. 704 00:35:28,295 --> 00:35:29,338 [pants] 705 00:35:29,922 --> 00:35:32,216 I believe you're holding a ticket for Reba McEntire. 706 00:35:36,136 --> 00:35:37,095 [growls] 707 00:35:39,598 --> 00:35:41,642 Good to see you back, Reba. 708 00:35:43,393 --> 00:35:45,187 Dad. Dad. 709 00:35:48,357 --> 00:35:49,942 -Enjoy the game. -Fuck you. 710 00:35:50,025 --> 00:35:51,026 It is you. 711 00:35:54,404 --> 00:35:56,114 [panting] Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. 712 00:35:57,407 --> 00:35:59,409 [music continues] 713 00:36:13,131 --> 00:36:15,342 [panting continues] 714 00:36:21,056 --> 00:36:22,099 -[cracks] -[grunts] 715 00:36:35,279 --> 00:36:36,280 [crowd cheers] 716 00:36:36,363 --> 00:36:37,364 Look! 717 00:36:37,447 --> 00:36:38,907 [crowd cheering] 718 00:36:42,703 --> 00:36:45,163 Holy shit. 719 00:36:45,247 --> 00:36:48,792 [crowd chanting] He's here! He's there! He's every fucking where! 720 00:36:48,876 --> 00:36:52,004 Roy Kent! Roy Kent! 721 00:36:52,087 --> 00:36:54,381 He's here! Here's there! He's every fucking where! 722 00:36:54,464 --> 00:36:57,384 Roy Kent! Roy Kent! 723 00:37:00,762 --> 00:37:02,514 [chanting continues, faint] 724 00:37:19,740 --> 00:37:20,908 Hello, Coach. 725 00:37:22,242 --> 00:37:23,952 -Really glad you decided to-- -Shut up. 726 00:37:24,453 --> 00:37:25,662 Just shut up. 727 00:37:26,663 --> 00:37:28,373 You had me at "Coach." 728 00:37:28,457 --> 00:37:29,833 [gasps] 729 00:37:52,731 --> 00:37:54,733 [music continues] 730 00:37:54,816 --> 00:37:56,818 -[whistle blows] -[cheering]