1 00:00:01,210 --> 00:00:03,545 [phone ringing] 2 00:00:05,797 --> 00:00:08,090 [ringing] 3 00:00:10,219 --> 00:00:11,845 -[ringing] -[click] 4 00:00:11,929 --> 00:00:14,723 -[woman] Hello. -Hi, Bridget. Sorry, I'm late. 5 00:00:14,806 --> 00:00:17,726 [Bridget] You know the only thing better than a patient being late 6 00:00:17,809 --> 00:00:19,144 is one who doesn't turn up at all. 7 00:00:19,228 --> 00:00:22,189 [chuckles] So where did we leave off? 8 00:00:22,272 --> 00:00:26,276 [Bridget] Uh, let's see. I have it in my notes-- Oh, yeah! 9 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:28,946 "Ted Lasso is driving me fucking crazy." 10 00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:31,365 [Sharon] All right. He refuses to open up. 11 00:00:31,448 --> 00:00:33,867 And when he gets anywhere close to being vulnerable, 12 00:00:33,951 --> 00:00:38,247 he fires off a zinger or some obscure reference to something very specific 13 00:00:38,330 --> 00:00:40,666 to a 40-year-old white man from middle America. 14 00:00:40,749 --> 00:00:43,210 [Bridget] So he's refusing to be vulnerable, right? 15 00:00:43,293 --> 00:00:45,045 Sounds like someone I know. 16 00:00:45,128 --> 00:00:47,756 Oh, stop it. Me and Coach Lasso are nothing alike. 17 00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:49,967 [Bridget] Sharon, you do the same thing. 18 00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:53,971 He uses humor to deflect, you use your intelligence. 19 00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:55,264 [Sharon] Please. 20 00:00:55,347 --> 00:00:58,725 I do not harness my savantish nature to alienate people and isolate myself. 21 00:00:59,726 --> 00:01:01,353 Okay, I hear that. 22 00:01:01,436 --> 00:01:04,063 [Bridget] I doubt you'll make any headway with Coach Lasso 23 00:01:04,147 --> 00:01:07,401 until you let your guard down yourself and meet him halfway. 24 00:01:07,985 --> 00:01:08,986 [Sharon] You're right. 25 00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:11,321 [Bridget] Of course, I'm right! Now, what are you going to do? 26 00:01:11,405 --> 00:01:14,241 ["Witness" playing] 27 00:01:26,003 --> 00:01:27,004 [bicycle bell rings] 28 00:01:28,839 --> 00:01:30,883 -Mind your dog! -What? 29 00:01:30,966 --> 00:01:32,467 -He hates that sweater. -Up yours! 30 00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:36,263 [song continues] 31 00:01:38,182 --> 00:01:40,225 -Shit! -[crash] 32 00:01:41,351 --> 00:01:44,229 -[phone rings] -[people clamoring] 33 00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:49,234 [man] Call 999. Someone call 999. 34 00:01:51,486 --> 00:01:53,739 [theme music plays] 35 00:02:21,767 --> 00:02:24,019 -[knocking] -Hi, guys. 36 00:02:26,313 --> 00:02:30,108 So, I actually have a fun, new branding opportunity for a coach. 37 00:02:30,192 --> 00:02:32,486 It's only one public appearance. It's decent money. 38 00:02:32,569 --> 00:02:34,530 Would be really good for the club. 39 00:02:34,613 --> 00:02:36,740 Would either one of you want to help me out 40 00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:39,284 by being a spokesperson for this-- 41 00:02:42,788 --> 00:02:45,082 Right. Fuck you both. 42 00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:49,044 I respect that we didn't have to say a word. 43 00:02:49,127 --> 00:02:50,212 She gets us. 44 00:02:51,380 --> 00:02:53,215 I'm going to be a spokesperson. 45 00:02:53,298 --> 00:02:55,509 [chuckles] Where's Ted? 46 00:02:56,093 --> 00:02:58,679 -Uh, he texted. He has some emergency. -Oh. What? 47 00:02:58,762 --> 00:03:00,722 -I didn't ask. -Why not? 48 00:03:00,806 --> 00:03:02,140 It's his emergency. 49 00:03:02,224 --> 00:03:03,809 If he wanted him to know, he would have said. 50 00:03:04,935 --> 00:03:07,980 We have an FA Cup semifinal at Wembley Stadium on Sunday. 51 00:03:08,063 --> 00:03:09,773 -Who's running training? -Me. 52 00:03:09,857 --> 00:03:12,526 -You? -Ted asked. I don't give a shit. 53 00:03:13,151 --> 00:03:15,070 [phone vibrates] 54 00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:17,698 -Shit, I got to go. -Where you going? 55 00:03:17,781 --> 00:03:19,449 None of your fucking business. 56 00:03:22,578 --> 00:03:24,288 [sighs] 57 00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:28,208 Well… Guess that just leaves us two. I mean-- 58 00:03:28,292 --> 00:03:29,793 -You can run training. -Thank you. 59 00:03:29,877 --> 00:03:32,171 That will be great-- I think-- Yes, thank you. Hold on. 60 00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:35,549 [phone rings] 61 00:03:42,639 --> 00:03:44,641 All right, man. Let's go. 62 00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:47,978 Switch it on, boy. Yeah, let's go, let's go. 63 00:03:48,061 --> 00:03:49,646 Good man. All you, mate. 64 00:03:49,730 --> 00:03:51,690 That's it, you got it, you got it, you got it. 65 00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:53,233 Hello, Daddy. 66 00:03:53,317 --> 00:03:55,986 [Sam's father] Sam… Do you know why I'm calling? 67 00:03:56,612 --> 00:03:57,821 Um, no, sir. 68 00:03:57,905 --> 00:03:59,698 I'm calling because Cerithium Oil 69 00:03:59,781 --> 00:04:02,743 has just been ordered to stop operating in Nigeria. 70 00:04:02,826 --> 00:04:05,579 Wait, what? Wait, that's incredible! 71 00:04:05,662 --> 00:04:08,790 And you were the butterfly whose wings made this happen. 72 00:04:08,874 --> 00:04:10,626 I'm so proud of you, my son. 73 00:04:10,709 --> 00:04:12,002 Thank you, Dad. 74 00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:14,505 I mean, look, I only did it because you inspired me to. 75 00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:18,382 [chuckles] I appreciate you saying that, because it's absolutely true. 76 00:04:18,466 --> 00:04:20,761 -[chuckles] -[chuckles] I love you. 77 00:04:20,844 --> 00:04:23,805 -I love you too. Okay, bye-bye. -[Colin straining] 78 00:04:23,889 --> 00:04:25,516 Oi! What you doing? 79 00:04:25,891 --> 00:04:28,810 -[Jamie] Oh, shit. -[gasping] 80 00:04:28,894 --> 00:04:31,271 -Why didn't you say anything? -It was on my neck. 81 00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:33,524 [Jamie] Yeah. Sorry. 82 00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:35,609 [Isaac] You know what, sod off. I got this. 83 00:04:46,912 --> 00:04:48,664 I haven't found a term I like yet 84 00:04:48,747 --> 00:04:50,749 for when I tell people I'm taking a shit. 85 00:04:51,583 --> 00:04:52,751 What do you use? 86 00:04:52,835 --> 00:04:55,045 [sighs] 87 00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:57,047 I need to reapply my lip liner. 88 00:04:58,006 --> 00:04:59,007 Men don't know what that means 89 00:04:59,091 --> 00:05:01,134 and women understand it requires time and focus. 90 00:05:01,718 --> 00:05:03,053 [phone beeps] 91 00:05:04,012 --> 00:05:05,305 [gasps] 92 00:05:08,475 --> 00:05:10,811 [gasps] Say fucking yes! 93 00:05:12,729 --> 00:05:13,730 [groans] 94 00:05:14,690 --> 00:05:17,401 Guys, guys! Three dots! Three dots, three dots. 95 00:05:22,364 --> 00:05:23,365 [phone beeps] 96 00:05:23,991 --> 00:05:26,159 -Yes! -[cheering] 97 00:05:27,870 --> 00:05:29,872 -[chuckles] -Whoo! Whoo, yeah! 98 00:05:29,955 --> 00:05:31,874 -Wow. Oh, my God. -[Jan] Yes! 99 00:05:33,917 --> 00:05:34,918 Captain. 100 00:05:35,544 --> 00:05:36,545 Yeah, bruv? 101 00:05:36,628 --> 00:05:38,589 I would like to ask you for a haircut. 102 00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:39,840 -What? -Ooh… 103 00:05:44,386 --> 00:05:45,429 Are you sure, bruv? 104 00:05:45,512 --> 00:05:46,972 Yes, I think I am. 105 00:05:48,807 --> 00:05:49,808 Hmm… 106 00:05:53,145 --> 00:05:55,647 -All right. After training. -[Colin gagging] 107 00:05:58,859 --> 00:06:00,611 -[straining] Isaac, Isaac. -Oh, shit! 108 00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:01,904 [gasping] 109 00:06:04,489 --> 00:06:05,490 Oh, now hold on, lady. 110 00:06:05,574 --> 00:06:07,826 You're telling me I could shatter every bone in my body, 111 00:06:07,910 --> 00:06:10,370 someone could just drop me off in front of any old hospital, 112 00:06:10,454 --> 00:06:11,997 dumped into a garbage can or something, 113 00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:14,666 and y'all patch me up and I don't have to pay jack squat? 114 00:06:14,750 --> 00:06:16,168 -You're damn right. -[whistles] 115 00:06:16,251 --> 00:06:18,003 I tell you, I love this country. I love this town. 116 00:06:18,086 --> 00:06:22,007 Oh, did you know that Winnie the Pooh was based on a real bear from the London Zoo? 117 00:06:22,090 --> 00:06:23,258 [sighs] Fuck me. 118 00:06:24,343 --> 00:06:25,594 Oh, no… 119 00:06:26,428 --> 00:06:27,804 It's worse than I imagined. 120 00:06:31,266 --> 00:06:35,020 She can walk again! Whoo! It's a miracle! 121 00:06:35,103 --> 00:06:37,022 Oh, thank God for science! 122 00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:40,192 Hey, Doc! The doc going to be okay, Doc? 123 00:06:40,275 --> 00:06:41,443 Yes, her scan seemed fine. 124 00:06:41,527 --> 00:06:43,278 Good. No intracranial hemorrhaging? 125 00:06:43,362 --> 00:06:45,781 -No. -Or, uh, subdural hematoma? 126 00:06:45,864 --> 00:06:47,908 No. You seem to know a lot about brain injuries. 127 00:06:47,991 --> 00:06:50,494 Well, I watched a lot of Grey's Anatomy in my early 30s. 128 00:06:51,537 --> 00:06:53,205 And actually, you know, I coached football. 129 00:06:53,288 --> 00:06:54,873 The American kind. You know? 130 00:06:54,957 --> 00:06:57,793 The one with all the concussions and hullabaloo about kneeling and such. 131 00:06:57,876 --> 00:06:59,753 Oh, well, she does have a concussion. 132 00:07:00,337 --> 00:07:01,922 And she's had a couple stitches in her head. 133 00:07:02,005 --> 00:07:04,299 So you'll need to rest for a few days, okay? 134 00:07:04,383 --> 00:07:06,552 Apart from that, your husband can take you home. 135 00:07:06,635 --> 00:07:07,970 Oh, he's not my husband. 136 00:07:08,053 --> 00:07:10,347 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ain't no ring on these fingers. 137 00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:11,932 -No, we're just friends. -Colleagues. 138 00:07:12,015 --> 00:07:14,309 -Uh, friendly colleagues. -I don't have a husband. 139 00:07:14,393 --> 00:07:15,394 Yeah, but not in a sad way. 140 00:07:15,477 --> 00:07:17,521 You know, she's just fiercely independent. 141 00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:20,023 And I'm perfectly capable of taking myself home. 142 00:07:20,107 --> 00:07:22,734 -See what I mean? -Uh, I'm sorry, Dr. Fieldstone. 143 00:07:23,277 --> 00:07:25,070 Hospital policy states that head trauma patients, 144 00:07:25,153 --> 00:07:26,321 they cannot leave unattended. 145 00:07:26,405 --> 00:07:28,907 Ooh. And there ain't no policy like a hospital policy, 146 00:07:28,991 --> 00:07:30,784 'cause a hospital policy don't stop. 147 00:07:31,410 --> 00:07:32,661 Let me help you out with that, sweetheart. 148 00:07:32,744 --> 00:07:34,872 -Here you go. There you go. -Thank you. 149 00:07:35,497 --> 00:07:37,666 -Thank you for being here, Coach Kent. -[grunts] 150 00:07:38,250 --> 00:07:40,836 My sister's at the hospital. She works in the emergency room. 151 00:07:41,378 --> 00:07:43,422 She can't really pop out 'cause there's always someone coming in 152 00:07:43,505 --> 00:07:47,801 with, like, a knife stuck in their eye or a torch stuck up their-- 153 00:07:47,885 --> 00:07:49,636 Yeah, okay, I get it. She's busy. 154 00:07:50,596 --> 00:07:53,724 Phoebe, would you mind doing some coloring while I talk to your uncle? 155 00:07:53,807 --> 00:07:55,392 Yes, Ms. Bowen. 156 00:07:59,229 --> 00:08:01,273 Can I start with a quick personal question? 157 00:08:01,356 --> 00:08:03,442 -Phoebe's dad-- -Oh, he's a piece of shit. 158 00:08:04,067 --> 00:08:07,237 -Is he alive? -Sorry, yeah. He's a living piece of shit. 159 00:08:08,113 --> 00:08:09,323 Right. 160 00:08:09,406 --> 00:08:13,118 Well, Coach Kent, we've got a bit of an issue with Phoebe's behavior. 161 00:08:17,039 --> 00:08:20,292 -Let's have it. -She's been swearing. A lot. 162 00:08:20,375 --> 00:08:21,460 How bad is it? 163 00:08:21,543 --> 00:08:25,881 Today she called one of her classmates an "apathetic shitfucker." 164 00:08:26,465 --> 00:08:28,050 -Are they? -Oh, yes. 165 00:08:28,634 --> 00:08:29,885 But that's not the point. 166 00:08:31,345 --> 00:08:33,722 Do you have any idea where she might be getting this from? 167 00:08:37,768 --> 00:08:39,269 Mmm. 168 00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:40,604 Me? 169 00:08:42,981 --> 00:08:45,984 Fuck. 170 00:08:46,068 --> 00:08:49,821 This was her fifth offense. She got warnings, then isolation. 171 00:08:49,905 --> 00:08:52,449 Now I'm afraid she has to go home for the rest of the day. 172 00:08:53,075 --> 00:08:54,785 You know the influence you have on her. 173 00:08:55,369 --> 00:08:56,370 Use it. 174 00:08:58,247 --> 00:08:59,831 Oi! 175 00:08:59,915 --> 00:09:00,916 We're leaving. 176 00:09:04,086 --> 00:09:05,087 [sighs] 177 00:09:05,170 --> 00:09:07,130 Sorry for what I said, Ms. Bowen. 178 00:09:07,214 --> 00:09:08,757 Thank you, Phoebe. 179 00:09:08,841 --> 00:09:11,134 [gasps] Uncle Roy, can we get ice cream? 180 00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:12,719 Fuck no! 181 00:09:14,471 --> 00:09:16,223 -Sorry. -[clears throat] 182 00:09:17,391 --> 00:09:18,600 F-no! 183 00:09:19,685 --> 00:09:20,811 [stammering] 184 00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:23,105 Go on, scoot your boot. 185 00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:32,948 Fucking glitter. 186 00:09:34,533 --> 00:09:37,286 By all measures, it's not the cruelest prank ever played, 187 00:09:37,369 --> 00:09:39,997 but no one should ever make someone eat a Vaseline sandwich. 188 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:41,790 But that's Ronnie Fouch for you. 189 00:09:41,874 --> 00:09:43,542 Innovator. [chuckles] 190 00:09:43,625 --> 00:09:45,252 How did you know I was in the hospital? 191 00:09:45,335 --> 00:09:48,547 Oh, you left me a bunch of voice notes. Yeah, 32 to be exact. 192 00:09:49,131 --> 00:09:52,759 -I thought those deleted themselves. -Yeah, well, I kept all those puppies. 193 00:09:52,843 --> 00:09:54,803 You should listen to some of these. They are a hoot. 194 00:09:54,887 --> 00:09:57,681 -Please, no, thank you. -It doesn't matter. I got them right here. 195 00:09:57,764 --> 00:10:01,393 Ted, it's Sharon. I can't come to the phone right now. 196 00:10:01,476 --> 00:10:04,479 But if you want to talk my ear off about some bullshit 197 00:10:04,563 --> 00:10:08,192 because you're too afraid to properly emote, leave a message. 198 00:10:08,275 --> 00:10:10,068 -Beep! -[chuckles] 199 00:10:10,152 --> 00:10:12,988 -I didn't mean it. -Come on now. You meant it a little bit. 200 00:10:13,071 --> 00:10:16,825 In concussio veritas, right? Ain't that the saying? [chuckles] 201 00:10:16,909 --> 00:10:20,078 Oh, this next one, uh, brings Mr. Stephen Sondheim in the house 202 00:10:20,162 --> 00:10:22,206 'cause it's you singing "Tonight" from West Side Story, 203 00:10:22,289 --> 00:10:25,584 but doing both the parts, uh, of Tony and Maria at the same time, 204 00:10:25,667 --> 00:10:28,003 which is, well, in a word, thrilling. Here it is. 205 00:10:28,086 --> 00:10:29,338 [Sharon] ♪ Tonight, tonight ♪ 206 00:10:29,421 --> 00:10:31,882 Whoo-hoo-hoo! Feel that. 207 00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:34,218 And you do the whole first act. It's incredible. 208 00:10:36,178 --> 00:10:38,180 ["La Virgen De La Macarena" playing] 209 00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:51,693 [song continues] 210 00:11:07,459 --> 00:11:09,002 -What is the big deal? -[song stops] 211 00:11:09,086 --> 00:11:10,128 [players groan] 212 00:11:10,212 --> 00:11:11,547 [stammers] Not now. 213 00:11:11,630 --> 00:11:14,383 My guy, Isaac's an artist with those clippers. 214 00:11:14,466 --> 00:11:16,718 But he only gives you one haircut per season, 215 00:11:16,802 --> 00:11:19,179 so you try and save that for a very special occasion. 216 00:11:19,263 --> 00:11:20,973 I'm not using mine until I marry. 217 00:11:22,057 --> 00:11:23,183 Or I get circumcised. 218 00:11:23,267 --> 00:11:24,393 [players] Ah. Quite right. 219 00:11:24,476 --> 00:11:27,020 Bro, I can't believe you're wasting your Isaac cut on a blind date. 220 00:11:27,104 --> 00:11:29,815 Yeah. What if you and this babes only got textual chemistry? 221 00:11:29,898 --> 00:11:30,899 Guys… 222 00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:33,026 I believe… 223 00:11:33,527 --> 00:11:36,530 [chuckles] …this could be something very special. 224 00:11:37,114 --> 00:11:38,782 [player] Aw. 225 00:11:39,533 --> 00:11:40,534 [clipper buzzing] 226 00:11:44,288 --> 00:11:45,622 So do we all just stand here-- 227 00:11:45,706 --> 00:11:47,666 -[players groan] -[Will] Oh, my God! 228 00:11:48,250 --> 00:11:50,502 Shut the fuck up, Jan Maas. 229 00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:53,172 [sighs] Sorry. 230 00:11:53,255 --> 00:11:55,174 [exhales deeply] 231 00:11:55,632 --> 00:11:57,426 ["Down by The Riverside" playing] 232 00:11:57,509 --> 00:11:59,845 [players groan, chuckle] 233 00:12:01,096 --> 00:12:02,681 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 234 00:12:02,764 --> 00:12:03,974 It's like Swan Lake. 235 00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:05,767 [players laugh, cheer] 236 00:12:07,769 --> 00:12:09,521 [song continues] 237 00:12:14,318 --> 00:12:15,819 Shh! 238 00:12:26,371 --> 00:12:27,956 [song continues] 239 00:12:30,959 --> 00:12:32,503 [cheering] 240 00:12:32,586 --> 00:12:33,754 [screaming] 241 00:12:35,339 --> 00:12:37,674 [laughing] 242 00:12:38,842 --> 00:12:41,553 [players] Oh! Yeah! 243 00:12:56,985 --> 00:12:58,987 -[song ends] -[typing] 244 00:12:59,071 --> 00:13:01,573 [players cheering upstairs] 245 00:13:05,661 --> 00:13:06,662 [Higgins] Come in! 246 00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:11,166 [typing] 247 00:13:11,250 --> 00:13:12,251 Hi. 248 00:13:14,419 --> 00:13:15,420 What's this about? 249 00:13:16,004 --> 00:13:18,799 Oh! I'm just in here until my office exists. 250 00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:20,717 It's really no problem. 251 00:13:20,801 --> 00:13:24,179 If I spill anything, I'm next to everything I need to clean up. 252 00:13:24,805 --> 00:13:25,931 This is very, very sad. 253 00:13:26,014 --> 00:13:28,308 Eh. What can I do for you, Jamie? 254 00:13:28,392 --> 00:13:32,396 Um… Can I get me dad and his two mates on the list for Wembley tickets, please? 255 00:13:32,479 --> 00:13:35,816 Of course! Um, family section? VIP? 256 00:13:35,899 --> 00:13:37,901 Put 'em in the car park for all I care. 257 00:13:37,985 --> 00:13:39,862 Just getting him tickets so he'll get off me back. 258 00:13:40,571 --> 00:13:41,822 Fathers and sons. 259 00:13:41,905 --> 00:13:43,365 So tricky. 260 00:13:43,448 --> 00:13:45,659 They should really write songs about it. 261 00:13:46,660 --> 00:13:49,079 -Think they do. -Yeah, I know. I was just-- 262 00:13:50,372 --> 00:13:51,623 Anyway… 263 00:13:52,124 --> 00:13:53,125 [hums] 264 00:13:53,208 --> 00:13:56,461 You, um… Are you close with your dad? 265 00:13:56,962 --> 00:13:59,548 Um, ups and downs, like everyone. 266 00:13:59,631 --> 00:14:00,966 Hmm, it's complicated. 267 00:14:01,049 --> 00:14:03,260 Mine's not complicated. He's just a dick. 268 00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:06,013 Every situation, he does exactly what a dick would do. 269 00:14:06,847 --> 00:14:08,432 Not much you can do with that. Know what I mean? 270 00:14:08,515 --> 00:14:12,728 Well, I try to love my dad for who he is and forgive him for who he isn't. 271 00:14:14,855 --> 00:14:20,277 Look, Jamie. Whatever he may be, he's your father, which makes him a VIP. 272 00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:21,528 [scoffs] 273 00:14:21,612 --> 00:14:22,946 Names? 274 00:14:23,030 --> 00:14:24,489 Uh, James Tartt. 275 00:14:24,573 --> 00:14:25,574 Ah! 276 00:14:25,657 --> 00:14:30,746 Uh, his mates are Denbo Cullens and Bug. 277 00:14:31,830 --> 00:14:34,666 -"Bug"? -Just Bug. Uh, one G. 278 00:14:34,750 --> 00:14:35,918 Like the animal. 279 00:14:36,460 --> 00:14:37,920 It's his legal name. Changed it. 280 00:14:38,003 --> 00:14:40,005 Because he's small like a bug? 281 00:14:40,088 --> 00:14:41,715 No, 'cause he eats bugs for money. 282 00:14:42,216 --> 00:14:43,217 Right. 283 00:14:43,300 --> 00:14:45,636 -[players cheering] -Um… Thanks for that. 284 00:14:46,428 --> 00:14:47,513 Yeah. 285 00:14:47,596 --> 00:14:48,597 Okay. 286 00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:50,432 Uh, open or closed? 287 00:14:51,016 --> 00:14:52,142 Uh, closed. 288 00:14:52,643 --> 00:14:53,810 You get less questions. 289 00:14:54,770 --> 00:14:56,396 -All right. -Bye. 290 00:15:02,903 --> 00:15:04,613 Thank you for the ice cream, Uncle Roy. 291 00:15:05,656 --> 00:15:06,907 Oi! 292 00:15:10,118 --> 00:15:11,119 [sniffs] 293 00:15:13,288 --> 00:15:14,831 You can't swear, Phoebe. 294 00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:16,917 But you swear all the time. 295 00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,085 Yeah. 296 00:15:18,168 --> 00:15:21,547 And it didn't hold me back 'cause I'm a footballer. 297 00:15:21,630 --> 00:15:25,092 No one cares if we swear. It's part of the job. It's encouraged. 298 00:15:26,552 --> 00:15:30,097 But you can't be a doctor, or a teacher, or a-- 299 00:15:30,180 --> 00:15:32,266 Veterinarian for wild animals. 300 00:15:32,349 --> 00:15:35,185 Or a veterinarian for wild animals. I still don't get how that works. 301 00:15:35,269 --> 00:15:37,020 You treat them in the woods and no one pays you? 302 00:15:37,104 --> 00:15:38,105 It doesn't matter. 303 00:15:38,188 --> 00:15:42,860 The point is you can't do that if you swear all the time. 304 00:15:46,196 --> 00:15:49,491 Look. You and I spend a lot of time together, 305 00:15:50,075 --> 00:15:51,493 and I love every second. 306 00:15:53,662 --> 00:15:56,081 I weren't trained in how to be around a kid. 307 00:15:58,041 --> 00:15:59,626 And sometimes… 308 00:16:00,878 --> 00:16:02,504 I get concerned… 309 00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:10,387 that I've been infecting you with the worst parts of me. 310 00:16:10,971 --> 00:16:12,681 That's not true. 311 00:16:13,515 --> 00:16:16,268 Uncle Roy, you teach me great things. 312 00:16:17,144 --> 00:16:19,605 I called that boy a name because he's a bully. 313 00:16:19,688 --> 00:16:22,608 And because of you, I stand up to bullies. 314 00:16:25,694 --> 00:16:26,695 And referees. 315 00:16:29,364 --> 00:16:31,241 And I can do that without swearing. 316 00:16:31,950 --> 00:16:32,951 Yeah. 317 00:16:33,785 --> 00:16:35,329 'Cause you are better than me. 318 00:16:36,121 --> 00:16:37,664 I'm as good as the best you. 319 00:16:39,249 --> 00:16:41,418 Maybe we can stop swearing together. 320 00:16:41,502 --> 00:16:42,878 Fuck you. 321 00:16:44,296 --> 00:16:45,297 I can't. 322 00:16:46,173 --> 00:16:47,174 But you can. 323 00:16:47,883 --> 00:16:49,009 [chuckles] 324 00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:50,969 Pretty please. 325 00:16:51,053 --> 00:16:52,471 Okay, Uncle Roy. 326 00:16:53,305 --> 00:16:55,516 Good. Now get out of here. 327 00:16:55,599 --> 00:16:59,019 Can you come in for one game of Princess and Dragon? 328 00:16:59,603 --> 00:17:01,230 Can I be the dragon this time? 329 00:17:01,313 --> 00:17:02,731 No. 330 00:17:02,814 --> 00:17:05,025 Fine. But you better have fixed the wand. 331 00:17:09,154 --> 00:17:11,365 All right. Tight squeeze, huh? 332 00:17:11,448 --> 00:17:13,867 Probably a little bit easier when this thing can fold up, I bet. 333 00:17:13,951 --> 00:17:16,203 Thank you for walking me home. I'm good from here. 334 00:17:16,286 --> 00:17:18,454 Well, that's the fifth time you've said that. 335 00:17:18,539 --> 00:17:20,874 I'll just set this puppy down and I'll skedaddle. 336 00:17:21,583 --> 00:17:23,377 Yeah, there you go. 337 00:17:24,127 --> 00:17:26,171 Good spot for it. There you go. 338 00:17:28,339 --> 00:17:29,550 Oh. 339 00:17:31,802 --> 00:17:32,928 Corporate housing, huh? 340 00:17:33,011 --> 00:17:34,805 It does not disappoint, does it? 341 00:17:34,888 --> 00:17:37,766 It don't really do anything. I guess that's part of the idea, ain't it? 342 00:17:37,850 --> 00:17:39,810 What we got back here? Hey. 343 00:17:40,769 --> 00:17:43,146 All right. Home entertainment center. 344 00:17:43,981 --> 00:17:47,943 Well, you know what, I'll just say that it's fine and move on. 345 00:17:48,026 --> 00:17:49,319 It's temporary. 346 00:17:49,403 --> 00:17:51,530 Yeah, well, you know, what isn't, right? 347 00:17:53,031 --> 00:17:54,700 -Would you like some tea? -Oh, hell no. 348 00:17:55,409 --> 00:17:59,413 No, I-I mean no, thank you. Sorry, just don't care for that garbage. 349 00:17:59,496 --> 00:18:00,956 I have water and I have wine. 350 00:18:01,039 --> 00:18:03,083 Chicken and the egg, huh? Uh, yeah. 351 00:18:03,166 --> 00:18:05,210 I'll take some water. That'd be great. Thanks. 352 00:18:06,003 --> 00:18:07,004 Tap okay? 353 00:18:07,087 --> 00:18:11,216 Oh, yeah. No, I like my water like Kyrie Irving likes his Earth. Flat. 354 00:18:15,137 --> 00:18:16,305 -[water running] -Mmm. 355 00:18:18,098 --> 00:18:21,935 So, you gonna get a new bike, or you wanna lay off riding for a bit? 356 00:18:22,019 --> 00:18:23,896 I don't know. I haven't thought about it. 357 00:18:23,979 --> 00:18:27,399 Well, I hope you get back on that horse. And by horse, I mean bicycle. 358 00:18:27,482 --> 00:18:30,569 Although how cool would it be if you started riding a horse to work? 359 00:18:30,652 --> 00:18:32,487 Everybody starts calling you "Dr. Sharon Horsewoman" or-- 360 00:18:32,571 --> 00:18:33,864 -You know, becomes your hook. -[chuckles] 361 00:18:33,947 --> 00:18:35,741 I really should get some rest. [sighs] 362 00:18:35,824 --> 00:18:38,911 Hey, 10-4, good buddy. [stammers] Good colleague. 363 00:18:41,288 --> 00:18:43,290 [gulping] 364 00:18:56,303 --> 00:18:59,306 [sighs] Delicious as always. 365 00:19:01,808 --> 00:19:04,561 Yeah, all right, no, I'll let you go here, and-- 366 00:19:04,645 --> 00:19:06,772 You just give me a holler if you need anything. 367 00:19:06,855 --> 00:19:08,690 You know, you had quite the scare today. 368 00:19:08,774 --> 00:19:12,361 And my job is teaching people how to overcome what happened to me. 369 00:19:12,444 --> 00:19:13,779 I'm fine, thank you. 370 00:19:13,862 --> 00:19:15,072 Goodbye, Coach Lasso. 371 00:19:17,824 --> 00:19:19,660 Yeah, all right now, Doc. Take care. 372 00:19:35,384 --> 00:19:38,345 [breathes deeply] 373 00:19:39,304 --> 00:19:40,722 [phone ringing] 374 00:19:41,431 --> 00:19:42,891 [Rebecca] Jesus! Hello. 375 00:19:42,975 --> 00:19:45,978 [groans] Why are you picking up right now? 376 00:19:46,061 --> 00:19:47,646 You were supposed to be in there five minutes ago. 377 00:19:47,729 --> 00:19:49,606 Right. I can't go in. 378 00:19:49,690 --> 00:19:52,401 Oh, come on. You've got this. Get in there. 379 00:19:52,484 --> 00:19:54,570 Either it's gonna be the most amazing night 380 00:19:54,653 --> 00:19:55,946 or it's gonna be so shit 381 00:19:56,029 --> 00:19:58,782 that you can punish me for it for the rest of our friendship. 382 00:19:58,866 --> 00:20:00,784 Hmm. I do like the sound of that. 383 00:20:00,868 --> 00:20:03,078 I'm gonna hang up 'cause you're gonna go, yeah? 384 00:20:04,162 --> 00:20:06,915 -You look so beautiful I can't bear it. -[chuckles] 385 00:20:06,999 --> 00:20:08,709 [kissing] 386 00:20:08,792 --> 00:20:10,961 -[kisses] -[phone chimes] 387 00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:13,881 [sighs] 388 00:20:19,553 --> 00:20:21,847 Uh, Ms. Welton. Uh, Rebecca. [chuckles] 389 00:20:21,930 --> 00:20:23,390 Ah, Sam! 390 00:20:23,473 --> 00:20:28,103 -Hi. [chuckles] Hello. -Well, that's a coincidence. [chuckles] 391 00:20:28,187 --> 00:20:30,272 Uh… What's-- What's wrong? 392 00:20:30,355 --> 00:20:32,482 What? Oh, God. Yeah, I'm fi-- I'm just-- 393 00:20:32,566 --> 00:20:36,695 I'm, uh, just a little bit, um, nervous 'cause I'm, uh, meeting someone. 394 00:20:36,778 --> 00:20:38,155 Oh, okay, well, I-- [stammers] 395 00:20:38,238 --> 00:20:43,202 Don't be nervous, 'cause you look stunning as always. 396 00:20:43,702 --> 00:20:45,078 Thank you, Sam. 397 00:20:45,162 --> 00:20:47,497 Oh, God, don't let me get in the way of-- 398 00:20:47,581 --> 00:20:50,042 -You have a lovely evening. -Yes. Thank you. You too. 399 00:20:50,125 --> 00:20:51,168 Great haircut. 400 00:20:51,251 --> 00:20:53,921 -Oh. Well, thank you. [chuckling] -[Rebecca] Yes. 401 00:20:54,004 --> 00:20:57,257 -[chuckling] That's just weird. -[chuckling] 402 00:20:58,884 --> 00:21:01,803 -[Rebecca inhaling deeply] -[inhales deeply, clears throat] 403 00:21:10,521 --> 00:21:11,605 [phone chimes] 404 00:21:12,439 --> 00:21:13,440 Keeley says hi. 405 00:21:14,066 --> 00:21:16,318 Oh, uh… tell her I say hello. [chuckles] 406 00:21:16,401 --> 00:21:20,197 Mmm. [chuckles, sighs] 407 00:21:21,365 --> 00:21:22,366 [chuckles] 408 00:21:31,542 --> 00:21:32,543 [phone chimes] 409 00:21:32,626 --> 00:21:33,627 [no audible dialogue] 410 00:21:36,338 --> 00:21:38,632 -Oh. -Oh, shit! 411 00:21:38,715 --> 00:21:39,842 -What? -Shit. 412 00:21:39,925 --> 00:21:40,884 -What? -Shit. 413 00:21:40,968 --> 00:21:43,262 -What? What? What? -Shit. God, this can't be happening! 414 00:21:43,345 --> 00:21:46,265 -But it is. It's-- -I knew I shouldn't have come in here. 415 00:21:46,348 --> 00:21:48,851 -But you did. You d-- -[stammers] No. Sam. 416 00:21:50,102 --> 00:21:51,854 Uh-- We can't-- I'm your boss. 417 00:21:53,063 --> 00:21:57,609 No. No. You are way too young. I mean, you're what, like, 24? 418 00:21:57,693 --> 00:22:00,195 -I'm-- I'm 21. -[gasps] Oh, my God. I'm a pedophile. 419 00:22:00,279 --> 00:22:03,323 I feel-- I've groomed you. All these messages. I was grooming you! 420 00:22:03,407 --> 00:22:06,034 You didn't groom me, okay? We didn't know who we were. 421 00:22:06,118 --> 00:22:09,538 [stammers] Okay, but-- but now we do, and this is not happening. 422 00:22:09,621 --> 00:22:14,001 No, this can't happen. And this never happened, okay? 423 00:22:14,084 --> 00:22:15,085 Ooh. 424 00:22:15,169 --> 00:22:18,839 Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 425 00:22:18,922 --> 00:22:20,424 We-- We can-- We can still have-- 426 00:22:20,507 --> 00:22:24,303 -Sorry. Sorry. -Hello. Hi. Sorry. [clears throat] 427 00:22:24,386 --> 00:22:25,971 [sighs deeply] 428 00:22:26,054 --> 00:22:30,434 Listen, we can still have dinner. Okay? It doesn't have to be a date. 429 00:22:30,517 --> 00:22:32,644 We-- It can just be a funny coincidence 430 00:22:32,728 --> 00:22:36,982 that we both happened to turn up to the same fabulous restaurant, 431 00:22:37,065 --> 00:22:39,276 both of us alone… 432 00:22:39,359 --> 00:22:40,611 [scoffs] 433 00:22:40,694 --> 00:22:42,738 …and hungry. 434 00:22:44,656 --> 00:22:45,908 That can happen. 435 00:22:47,284 --> 00:22:48,285 Right? 436 00:22:48,368 --> 00:22:50,370 ["Loving is Easy" playing] 437 00:22:51,788 --> 00:22:53,332 I mean, I am quite hungry. 438 00:22:56,585 --> 00:22:58,587 [song continues] 439 00:22:58,670 --> 00:23:00,881 [no audible dialogue] 440 00:23:29,952 --> 00:23:31,411 [song fades] 441 00:23:31,495 --> 00:23:34,498 [female TV host] … to Lust Conquers All Stars. 442 00:23:34,581 --> 00:23:38,627 Our winning couples from previous seasons will put their love to the test. 443 00:23:38,710 --> 00:23:41,880 Will it be last season's winners Ellie and Danthony, 444 00:23:42,714 --> 00:23:44,174 or season one's winners… 445 00:23:44,258 --> 00:23:45,759 Hello, Coach Lasso. 446 00:23:45,843 --> 00:23:50,055 Hey, Doc. So tonight I'm just gonna keep checking in on you every 20 minutes. 447 00:23:50,138 --> 00:23:51,849 It's standard concussion protocol, 448 00:23:51,932 --> 00:23:54,226 but I'm gonna change my voice every time I call you 449 00:23:54,309 --> 00:23:55,727 so it stays exciting for you. 450 00:23:55,811 --> 00:23:57,729 [as Kermit the Frog] Have you been feeling dizzy or nauseous? 451 00:23:57,813 --> 00:23:59,189 [chuckles] 452 00:23:59,273 --> 00:24:01,275 That's what it sounds like when you laugh. 453 00:24:01,859 --> 00:24:04,194 [clears throat] I'm fine, Coach Lasso. 454 00:24:05,404 --> 00:24:08,198 [in deep voice] Then I'll talk to you in twenty minutes. Sling Blade. Mm-hmm. 455 00:24:09,449 --> 00:24:10,576 Hey, Ted… 456 00:24:10,659 --> 00:24:11,952 [in high-pitched voice] Yes. 457 00:24:12,578 --> 00:24:15,122 I was scared today. Really scared. 458 00:24:17,416 --> 00:24:20,169 I love riding my bike. It's my happy place. 459 00:24:20,252 --> 00:24:27,092 And after today, I was worried I'll be too scared to enjoy riding again. 460 00:24:28,552 --> 00:24:30,596 [Ted, normal] I would say that fear's a lot like underwear. 461 00:24:30,679 --> 00:24:34,224 No, I don't want to discuss it. I don't need a pep talk. 462 00:24:34,892 --> 00:24:37,561 Ted, I just wanted to tell you how I was feeling. 463 00:24:37,644 --> 00:24:40,063 Well, I appreciate it. Means a lot. 464 00:24:40,647 --> 00:24:42,149 And I'm glad I did it. 465 00:24:42,232 --> 00:24:43,901 Good luck this weekend. 466 00:24:49,323 --> 00:24:50,657 Okay, A-C-M, 467 00:24:50,741 --> 00:24:53,327 I don't know who you are, but I am coming after your A-S-S. 468 00:24:53,410 --> 00:24:54,411 Let's go. 469 00:24:54,494 --> 00:24:57,497 -All right. [chuckles] -[laughs] 470 00:24:57,581 --> 00:24:59,166 [Rebecca] Oh, God. It's a bottomless pit. 471 00:24:59,249 --> 00:25:00,751 [Sam] Oh, I-I commend you. 472 00:25:00,834 --> 00:25:04,004 Usually women use those small handheld purses on dates. 473 00:25:04,087 --> 00:25:05,672 -What do they call it? -A clutch. 474 00:25:05,756 --> 00:25:07,174 -Clutch. -[chuckles] 475 00:25:07,257 --> 00:25:09,801 No, I'd rather dig for dinosaur bones 476 00:25:09,885 --> 00:25:12,513 rather than have one of those bags you can't fit your phone in. 477 00:25:13,096 --> 00:25:15,265 -There you go. -And this was not a date. 478 00:25:16,183 --> 00:25:17,184 I know. 479 00:25:18,685 --> 00:25:19,811 So, um… 480 00:25:22,564 --> 00:25:24,399 can we not do this again sometime? 481 00:25:25,859 --> 00:25:27,778 I'm going in alone. 482 00:25:32,449 --> 00:25:33,450 Okay. 483 00:25:42,626 --> 00:25:44,503 -[shouts] -[chuckles] 484 00:25:44,586 --> 00:25:47,464 No, no. Nev-- never again, Sam. 485 00:25:48,715 --> 00:25:49,716 -[sighs] -I mean it. 486 00:25:52,010 --> 00:25:53,011 I have to mean it. 487 00:25:54,137 --> 00:25:56,390 Yeah, yeah, of course. You're right. 488 00:25:57,724 --> 00:26:00,477 -Besides, we have a big game on Sunday. -Right. 489 00:26:00,561 --> 00:26:02,437 We both need our rest. 490 00:26:02,521 --> 00:26:03,730 Yep. 491 00:26:04,773 --> 00:26:05,774 Good. 492 00:26:10,112 --> 00:26:11,613 -Good night. -Thank you. 493 00:26:16,285 --> 00:26:17,286 Oh, bloody hell. 494 00:26:19,913 --> 00:26:21,123 Bloody hell. 495 00:26:23,792 --> 00:26:25,002 [sighs] 496 00:27:07,002 --> 00:27:08,504 [Ted] Gentlemen. Focus up. 497 00:27:10,255 --> 00:27:12,508 All right, fellas, I want you to close your eyes. 498 00:27:13,217 --> 00:27:14,426 Look around. 499 00:27:15,260 --> 00:27:18,680 [stammers] You know. I mean, open them up and take it all in. 500 00:27:19,473 --> 00:27:25,646 But remember, this right behind me, just a regular old football pitch. 501 00:27:26,230 --> 00:27:28,315 You take away the stadium and all the stands, 502 00:27:28,398 --> 00:27:33,028 I think you'll find it's the same size as our pitch back home on Nelson Road. 503 00:27:33,111 --> 00:27:35,030 -Not exactly. -What's that? 504 00:27:35,113 --> 00:27:36,823 It's 500 square yards bigger. 505 00:27:36,907 --> 00:27:39,326 -Really? The pitches aren't the same size? -No. 506 00:27:39,409 --> 00:27:42,204 -This is the biggest pitch in the country. -Huge advantage for City. 507 00:27:42,287 --> 00:27:46,625 Boy, oh, boy. This sport has the loosiest-goosiest rules of all. 508 00:27:46,708 --> 00:27:48,210 Tough to get my head around sometimes. Okay. 509 00:27:48,293 --> 00:27:50,546 All right. It's bigger. [chuckles] 510 00:27:50,629 --> 00:27:54,049 And, uh, look, I know y'all grew up watching games on this field, 511 00:27:54,132 --> 00:27:56,009 so you're probably a little nervous. 512 00:27:56,093 --> 00:27:57,678 Shoot, I know I got goose bumps. 513 00:27:58,262 --> 00:28:00,556 I remember being a little kid, sitting in front of the television 514 00:28:00,639 --> 00:28:03,642 and watching Queen perform right over there during Live Aid. 515 00:28:03,725 --> 00:28:05,602 -No, you didn't. -That was old Wembley. 516 00:28:05,686 --> 00:28:07,396 That field was even bigger. 517 00:28:07,479 --> 00:28:08,480 It doesn't matter. 518 00:28:08,564 --> 00:28:13,068 Point is, guys, we're here now, okay? 519 00:28:13,151 --> 00:28:14,152 At this Wembley. 520 00:28:15,320 --> 00:28:17,656 The one that Freddie Mercury never stepped foot in. 521 00:28:18,323 --> 00:28:20,117 And this is our day to make history. 522 00:28:20,534 --> 00:28:22,244 And I believe we're gonna do just that. 523 00:28:22,744 --> 00:28:25,914 Go ahead, take one more glance, then let's head back in. 524 00:28:25,998 --> 00:28:26,999 We got work to do. 525 00:28:27,082 --> 00:28:28,750 [players chattering] 526 00:28:31,336 --> 00:28:32,921 [players chattering] 527 00:28:40,220 --> 00:28:42,764 [echoing] Richmond! 528 00:28:43,473 --> 00:28:45,475 [fans cheering] 529 00:28:46,476 --> 00:28:48,478 [fans singing "Blue Moon"] 530 00:29:01,366 --> 00:29:02,701 [Denbo] City! City! 531 00:29:04,828 --> 00:29:06,955 -City! -City! 532 00:29:07,039 --> 00:29:08,749 Yes! Come on! 533 00:29:09,708 --> 00:29:10,959 Look at this. Not bad, is it? 534 00:29:11,043 --> 00:29:14,338 Ah, well, well, well. Hey, these are bang tidy seats these, man. 535 00:29:14,421 --> 00:29:17,466 That's what you get when your son's playing in the semifinals. 536 00:29:18,050 --> 00:29:21,470 It's not for the right fucking team, but what can you do, eh? 537 00:29:21,553 --> 00:29:23,514 Here you are. Get on that, kiddo. 538 00:29:25,641 --> 00:29:28,310 We win this match, we get Richmond tattoos. 539 00:29:28,393 --> 00:29:29,394 Already got one. 540 00:29:30,187 --> 00:29:32,648 -Where? -Mind your fucking business. 541 00:29:34,149 --> 00:29:35,817 [Nathan] I'm just not sure how this can… 542 00:29:35,901 --> 00:29:37,611 What about if they have the game of their lives? 543 00:29:37,694 --> 00:29:39,488 Oh, yeah. I was hoping for that. 544 00:29:39,571 --> 00:29:42,533 [exhales heavily] 545 00:29:43,867 --> 00:29:45,285 [inhales deeply] 546 00:29:46,078 --> 00:29:47,079 You good, Coach? 547 00:29:48,789 --> 00:29:49,998 Oh, yeah. 548 00:29:50,082 --> 00:29:54,211 I'm just doing some breathing exercises that Doc taught me, that's all. 549 00:29:54,711 --> 00:29:56,672 Hope it's not stomach problems again. 550 00:29:56,755 --> 00:29:58,966 Tell me you didn't eat the prawn cocktail. 551 00:29:59,049 --> 00:30:00,759 -No, never. -[door opens] 552 00:30:00,843 --> 00:30:03,262 Uh, guys, it's time. 553 00:30:05,305 --> 00:30:07,099 Here we go. Come on. 554 00:30:08,642 --> 00:30:10,602 Hey, fellas, hold on a sec. 555 00:30:10,686 --> 00:30:12,980 I need to tell you all something. 556 00:30:14,314 --> 00:30:15,816 When I left the match against Tottenham, 557 00:30:15,899 --> 00:30:19,611 it-- it wasn't 'cause, uh, you know, my stomach was bothering me. 558 00:30:21,196 --> 00:30:23,156 It was 'cause I had a panic attack. 559 00:30:27,077 --> 00:30:29,413 I've been having them from time to time as of late, 560 00:30:29,496 --> 00:30:30,497 and I'm working on it. 561 00:30:31,206 --> 00:30:34,209 But I just want you all to know the truth. 562 00:30:36,503 --> 00:30:38,005 [chuckles] We good? 563 00:30:38,088 --> 00:30:40,340 -Oh, yeah. -Yeah. Of course. 564 00:30:40,424 --> 00:30:42,676 Okay. Okay, all right. All right, let's go get 'em. 565 00:30:44,303 --> 00:30:45,596 -Richmond on three. -Wait! 566 00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:51,059 [exhales, gulps] I need to confess something too. 567 00:30:51,143 --> 00:30:52,186 [sighs] 568 00:30:52,269 --> 00:30:56,565 Um, I messed up the time zones on our transfer deadline, 569 00:30:56,648 --> 00:31:00,235 which is why we didn't sign up that amazing fullback from Brazil. 570 00:31:00,319 --> 00:31:01,361 Oh, my God. 571 00:31:01,987 --> 00:31:03,739 -That's okay. -Okay. 572 00:31:03,822 --> 00:31:05,115 -Yeah, okay. -[Ted] All good. 573 00:31:05,199 --> 00:31:06,700 [sighs, chuckles] 574 00:31:06,783 --> 00:31:08,744 -[Coach Beard] Okay. -That's all right. Yeah. 575 00:31:08,827 --> 00:31:10,245 -Okay. Here we go. -[sighs] 576 00:31:10,329 --> 00:31:13,165 I don't read the scouting reports you guys write. 577 00:31:13,248 --> 00:31:14,875 I've lied every time they've come up. 578 00:31:15,375 --> 00:31:16,877 They're boring, and I won't do it. 579 00:31:20,380 --> 00:31:21,423 I appreciate that. 580 00:31:22,758 --> 00:31:26,136 I-I pretend to get ideas in the moment, 581 00:31:26,220 --> 00:31:28,096 but they're just good ideas I've had for months. 582 00:31:28,180 --> 00:31:29,890 I just time them to look spontaneous. 583 00:31:29,973 --> 00:31:31,266 Hmm, it's a good move. 584 00:31:31,350 --> 00:31:33,519 -[Nathan] Mm-hmm. -Illusion of the first time. 585 00:31:33,602 --> 00:31:36,271 There was one game this season where I was accidentally on mushrooms. 586 00:31:37,314 --> 00:31:38,482 "Accidentally"? 587 00:31:38,565 --> 00:31:42,110 I'd been at Jane's house, and I drank tea from the wrong pot. 588 00:31:43,362 --> 00:31:44,738 The Port Vale match? 589 00:31:45,781 --> 00:31:46,949 -Yeah. -Yeah. 590 00:31:47,991 --> 00:31:49,701 -It won't happen again. -[chuckles] 591 00:31:50,577 --> 00:31:51,578 Thanks, guys. 592 00:31:52,871 --> 00:31:54,164 [chuckles] 593 00:31:54,248 --> 00:31:55,290 -Thank you. -Mmm. 594 00:31:55,374 --> 00:31:57,501 -All right, let's go kick their butts. -Butts on three. 595 00:31:57,584 --> 00:31:59,586 -Works for me. One, two, three. -[all] Butts! 596 00:32:00,337 --> 00:32:01,672 [sighs] 597 00:32:03,257 --> 00:32:05,342 You all fancy now, drinking tea, huh? 598 00:32:05,425 --> 00:32:07,010 I didn't know how to tell you. 599 00:32:07,094 --> 00:32:10,347 [fans cheering] 600 00:32:10,430 --> 00:32:14,351 Wembley Stadium, the Taj Mahal of English football. 601 00:32:14,434 --> 00:32:17,855 The setting for every young footballer's dreams. 602 00:32:17,938 --> 00:32:22,901 A sporting battlefield, pockmarked with the footprints of giants. 603 00:32:22,985 --> 00:32:27,364 Hoping to add another upset to this fabled ground's storied list, 604 00:32:27,447 --> 00:32:29,366 humble AFC Richmond. 605 00:32:29,449 --> 00:32:31,618 Never won a major trophy. 606 00:32:31,702 --> 00:32:35,289 The last London club to make their Wembley debut. 607 00:32:35,372 --> 00:32:40,169 Renewing hostilities against the undisputed greatest team in the land, 608 00:32:40,252 --> 00:32:42,337 the mighty Manchester City. 609 00:32:42,421 --> 00:32:43,922 It was only 11 months ago 610 00:32:44,006 --> 00:32:48,594 this Richmond side were relegated by City in heartbreaking fashion. 611 00:32:48,677 --> 00:32:52,931 Jamie Tartt was a City player then, and he helped send Richmond down. 612 00:32:53,640 --> 00:32:57,853 Then City sent him down the M40, and he's a Greyhound again. 613 00:32:59,229 --> 00:33:01,481 Come on! Come on! 614 00:33:02,065 --> 00:33:05,986 City are after another trophy. Richmond are after revenge. 615 00:33:06,570 --> 00:33:11,909 It's ready to blow, it's under the arch, it's Wembley Stadium. 616 00:33:11,992 --> 00:33:16,038 It's the FA Cup semifinal, and it starts now. 617 00:33:17,414 --> 00:33:19,208 [whistle blows] 618 00:33:19,291 --> 00:33:21,418 ["Blue Moon" playing] 619 00:33:24,004 --> 00:33:25,923 -[Arlo] Goal Manchester City! -Fuck! 620 00:33:26,924 --> 00:33:28,050 -No! -[screaming] 621 00:33:28,133 --> 00:33:30,886 -How's that not offside? -'Cause he was only passively offside. 622 00:33:32,054 --> 00:33:34,389 I don't get this frigging rule still. That's all right. 623 00:33:34,473 --> 00:33:36,767 -We're okay, guys! -[Arlo] It's a corner kick for City. 624 00:33:37,476 --> 00:33:38,519 -[Man City players cheer] -[Arlo] And a goal! 625 00:33:38,602 --> 00:33:40,687 -Fuck! -[Arlo] It's 2-nil. 626 00:33:41,188 --> 00:33:43,065 Oh, 2-nil! Boosh! 627 00:33:43,148 --> 00:33:44,483 Shit! 628 00:33:44,566 --> 00:33:45,859 [Arlo] This free kick could be dangerous. 629 00:33:45,943 --> 00:33:47,694 And it is. It's 3-nil. 630 00:33:48,362 --> 00:33:50,948 They'll be searching for solutions on the Richmond bench. 631 00:33:51,031 --> 00:33:52,032 Defend! 632 00:33:52,616 --> 00:33:54,910 -We've got to go three attackers-- -No. It's never too late to park the bus. 633 00:33:54,993 --> 00:33:57,037 -It is too late. -Guys, one at a time, please. 634 00:33:57,120 --> 00:33:59,373 Okay, don't worry about it. Hey, it's okay. 635 00:33:59,456 --> 00:34:01,416 [Arlo] Can Richmond turn it around in the second half? 636 00:34:03,919 --> 00:34:07,589 Oh, no. It's an own goal. And it's 4-nil. 637 00:34:07,673 --> 00:34:10,050 Come on, boys! You can do better than this! 638 00:34:10,132 --> 00:34:12,386 [Arlo] This is when you start looking for someone to blame. 639 00:34:12,469 --> 00:34:15,304 Hey, ref! Clean the shit out of your eyes, you dickless wonder. 640 00:34:15,389 --> 00:34:16,389 [blows whistle] 641 00:34:16,473 --> 00:34:18,934 [Arlo] Oh, no. Never mess with Mike Dean. 642 00:34:20,060 --> 00:34:21,353 Can't say that, mate. I'm sorry. 643 00:34:22,437 --> 00:34:23,688 There you go. 644 00:34:23,772 --> 00:34:25,899 Sorry about that, Mike. We all know you have a penis. 645 00:34:25,983 --> 00:34:27,025 I've been called worse. 646 00:34:29,945 --> 00:34:31,446 All right, here we go! We got it! 647 00:34:32,155 --> 00:34:33,907 -[fans booing] -[blows whistle] 648 00:34:34,366 --> 00:34:35,534 [Arlo] And it's a penalty. 649 00:34:35,617 --> 00:34:36,784 -Referee! -What was it? 650 00:34:37,244 --> 00:34:38,620 [Paul] What is that? 651 00:34:41,581 --> 00:34:45,502 [Arlo] And City remove any shred of doubt to the outcome of this match. 652 00:34:45,585 --> 00:34:48,005 [Chris] If this was a fight, they would stop it. 653 00:34:48,088 --> 00:34:51,300 Frankly, Arlo, all fights should be stopped before they even start. 654 00:34:52,967 --> 00:34:54,553 God fucking damn it. 655 00:34:54,636 --> 00:34:56,429 Come on now, Coach. It is what it is. 656 00:34:56,513 --> 00:34:58,265 Yeah. It is what it is. 657 00:34:59,892 --> 00:35:01,310 [fans laughing] 658 00:35:02,311 --> 00:35:05,355 [whistles] Hey, Jamie! You can score one now. 659 00:35:05,439 --> 00:35:07,608 Fill your boots! Go on! 660 00:35:10,944 --> 00:35:12,029 [whistle blows] 661 00:35:15,490 --> 00:35:17,784 The only nice thing I can say about Richmond today 662 00:35:17,868 --> 00:35:21,580 is that Sam Obisanya's hair looks absolutely fantastic. 663 00:35:22,623 --> 00:35:24,791 City move on to play Leicester in the final. 664 00:35:25,375 --> 00:35:27,628 And you can be sure Richmond's disappointment 665 00:35:27,711 --> 00:35:32,382 hangs heaviest on the head of a devastated Jamie Tartt. 666 00:35:35,511 --> 00:35:36,678 It's on me arse. 667 00:35:40,140 --> 00:35:42,184 All right. Okay. So… [clears throat] 668 00:35:42,768 --> 00:35:45,979 So, Sam, how did it feel to lose that badly out there today? 669 00:35:50,359 --> 00:35:52,361 Um, well, it's tough. 670 00:35:53,612 --> 00:35:57,157 It's tough. I feel sorry that we let the fans down. 671 00:36:05,165 --> 00:36:08,460 There's nothing you can say. It is what it is. It's a write-off. 672 00:36:08,544 --> 00:36:09,878 We start again tomorrow. 673 00:36:11,755 --> 00:36:13,131 Uh, Mr. Tartt. 674 00:36:14,258 --> 00:36:15,634 You have a visitor. 675 00:36:16,844 --> 00:36:18,136 Says he's your father. 676 00:36:20,097 --> 00:36:21,723 [sighs] Yeah. 677 00:36:22,850 --> 00:36:25,143 Are you decent? [laughs] 678 00:36:26,937 --> 00:36:28,522 I told ya. Dick. 679 00:36:28,605 --> 00:36:33,652 [chuckles] Oh, gentlemen! Gentlemen! [groans, chuckles] 680 00:36:33,735 --> 00:36:37,114 Hey, it's a tough one, lads. It's a tough one, but no shame to it, 681 00:36:37,197 --> 00:36:42,536 'cause, you know, we only ever beat, uh, everybody we play. [laughs] 682 00:36:42,619 --> 00:36:44,246 So you pups had no chance. 683 00:36:44,329 --> 00:36:47,916 [gasps] Oh. And there he is, my son. 684 00:36:49,126 --> 00:36:50,669 My own flesh and blood. 685 00:36:51,420 --> 00:36:53,755 Poor Jamie, my son. [breathes heavily] 686 00:36:53,839 --> 00:36:57,176 [sniffs] Now, maybe I'm thinking his heart's still in Manchester 687 00:36:57,259 --> 00:36:59,595 and that's why he missed that sitter in the first half. 688 00:36:59,678 --> 00:37:02,723 [chuckling] Oh. Whoo! 689 00:37:02,806 --> 00:37:05,934 You absolutely balled it. You balled it. 690 00:37:06,018 --> 00:37:10,689 What were you thinking? [groans] I'm only kidding, hey. [chuckles] 691 00:37:10,772 --> 00:37:15,235 Hey, look, do us a favor and get Denbo and Bug past security. 692 00:37:15,319 --> 00:37:17,696 They wanna go on the pitch, take a few snaps, yeah? 693 00:37:18,906 --> 00:37:19,907 I'd rather 'em not. 694 00:37:19,990 --> 00:37:23,619 Yeah, they just want to look around. It'll only take a second. Doosh. 695 00:37:23,702 --> 00:37:25,329 I'd rather 'em not. 696 00:37:25,412 --> 00:37:26,663 [James] What? 697 00:37:27,247 --> 00:37:29,416 What, you're not gonna all go little moody bitch 698 00:37:29,499 --> 00:37:31,543 just 'cause you got your arse served to you on a plate, are ya? 699 00:37:31,627 --> 00:37:33,337 Don't speak to me like that. 700 00:37:33,420 --> 00:37:35,005 -Huh? -Don't speak to me like that. 701 00:37:35,088 --> 00:37:36,715 -Huh? -Don't speak to me like that. 702 00:37:38,175 --> 00:37:40,886 Okay, well, let's see if you can hear this, hmm? 703 00:37:40,969 --> 00:37:44,681 You know that ickle TV show you made? 704 00:37:44,765 --> 00:37:48,268 You made it easier for Manchester City to kick you to the curb. 705 00:37:49,269 --> 00:37:51,230 And look where you are now. [chuckles] 706 00:37:51,313 --> 00:37:55,359 Twaddling about with a bunch of amateurs. No offense, no offense. 707 00:37:59,112 --> 00:38:00,113 Huh? 708 00:38:00,656 --> 00:38:02,616 Don't turn your back on me, you pussy. 709 00:38:02,699 --> 00:38:05,369 -[Jamie grunts] -[groaning] 710 00:38:07,287 --> 00:38:09,873 Jesus. God. [panting] 711 00:38:09,957 --> 00:38:13,544 [laughs] Oh, yeah. Okay. 712 00:38:13,627 --> 00:38:15,003 You can have that one for free. 713 00:38:15,087 --> 00:38:18,048 -[Coach Beard] Time to go. -You wanna go? Let's have it. 714 00:38:18,131 --> 00:38:20,634 -Don't you forget where you came from. -[Coach Beard] Watch the door. 715 00:38:21,218 --> 00:38:22,845 -[grunts] Oops. -[James] Ah. 716 00:38:38,777 --> 00:38:40,779 ["Beware of Darkness" playing] 717 00:38:51,957 --> 00:38:56,044 [sobbing] 718 00:39:03,927 --> 00:39:05,721 [song continues] 719 00:39:19,484 --> 00:39:20,485 [Jamie sniffs] 720 00:39:24,698 --> 00:39:26,700 [people on TV chattering] 721 00:39:28,035 --> 00:39:29,036 [phone ringing] 722 00:39:34,750 --> 00:39:35,959 Hello, Coach Lasso. 723 00:39:36,418 --> 00:39:37,836 Sorry about the loss. 724 00:39:38,378 --> 00:39:40,631 Oh, and thank you for the new bicycle. 725 00:39:41,173 --> 00:39:43,884 It's very kind, but unnecessary. 726 00:39:46,553 --> 00:39:47,596 Coach Lasso? 727 00:39:49,014 --> 00:39:50,766 [breathes shakily] 728 00:39:50,849 --> 00:39:54,269 My father killed himself when I was 16. 729 00:39:56,772 --> 00:40:00,776 That happened to me and, uh, to my mom. 730 00:40:02,653 --> 00:40:04,947 [sighs] I'm so sorry, Ted. 731 00:40:05,697 --> 00:40:09,451 And look, I don't know if that's where maybe some of my issues stem from. 732 00:40:09,535 --> 00:40:11,537 No, it definitely is. 733 00:40:11,620 --> 00:40:13,038 Right, tot-- That makes sense. 734 00:40:16,124 --> 00:40:17,751 Do you want to talk about it now? 735 00:40:19,920 --> 00:40:23,799 No. No, not right now. I need to get back inside to the team. 736 00:40:23,882 --> 00:40:25,092 I just wanted you to know. 737 00:40:27,511 --> 00:40:30,055 Okay, thank you for telling me, Ted. 738 00:40:30,597 --> 00:40:32,349 Please call if you need me. 739 00:40:32,432 --> 00:40:33,433 I will. 740 00:40:34,476 --> 00:40:35,978 I will, I'm sorry. I will. 741 00:40:36,061 --> 00:40:38,480 It's okay. Good night, Ted. 742 00:40:44,194 --> 00:40:45,821 [groans] 743 00:40:47,364 --> 00:40:48,532 [Coach Beard] Hey, Coach! 744 00:40:49,533 --> 00:40:51,410 [groans] Yeah? 745 00:40:52,828 --> 00:40:53,829 [groans] 746 00:40:55,330 --> 00:40:56,331 -You good? -Huh? 747 00:40:56,415 --> 00:40:59,042 Oh, yeah. Yeah, no-- I just had a quick phone call. 748 00:41:00,002 --> 00:41:01,545 [sighs deeply] 749 00:41:01,628 --> 00:41:04,047 -That was a rough night, huh? [chuckles] -Yeah. 750 00:41:04,131 --> 00:41:05,340 Okay, what do you, uh-- 751 00:41:06,550 --> 00:41:09,469 What do you say we make like Schreiber and Liev, huh? 752 00:41:09,553 --> 00:41:11,555 Uh, about that, uh… 753 00:41:12,806 --> 00:41:16,059 I don't want to ride back with you guys. I'd rather go shake this off. 754 00:41:18,270 --> 00:41:20,189 Yeah, sure, no. Of course. 755 00:41:20,272 --> 00:41:21,273 You wanna join me? 756 00:41:21,773 --> 00:41:24,484 Well, you know I promised Henry I'd FaceTime him. 757 00:41:24,568 --> 00:41:27,404 They had a recital at his school, and I wanna hear how it went. 758 00:41:27,487 --> 00:41:30,115 [stammers] I'll take a rain check. All right? Yeah. 759 00:41:30,199 --> 00:41:34,077 Hey. Hey, hey, just be careful out there, all right? 760 00:41:35,329 --> 00:41:36,330 -Yeah. -Okay. 761 00:41:36,788 --> 00:41:38,749 And don't forget tomorrow. 762 00:41:39,458 --> 00:41:42,461 It's your turn for coffee at the game film. 763 00:41:42,544 --> 00:41:43,670 -Yeah. -Bright and early. 764 00:41:48,300 --> 00:41:50,052 Hey, Coach, bird by bird. 765 00:41:53,263 --> 00:41:54,598 Not that kind of bird, but… 766 00:41:54,681 --> 00:41:56,683 ["Don't Look Back in Anger" playing] 767 00:42:13,867 --> 00:42:15,869 [song continues] 768 00:42:32,970 --> 00:42:35,806 [male TV announcer] Earlier, Manchester City routed AFC Richmond 769 00:42:35,889 --> 00:42:40,519 in the FA Cup 5-nil with a parade of fantastic goals. 770 00:42:40,602 --> 00:42:41,603 [fans cheering] 771 00:42:41,687 --> 00:42:44,982 [Arlo] And Goliath has put David back in his place. 772 00:42:45,065 --> 00:42:47,401 [TV announcer] Here's Sam Obisanya postgame. 773 00:42:48,235 --> 00:42:51,655 [Sam] Uh, well-- well, it's-- it's tough. It's tough, um… 774 00:42:52,656 --> 00:42:54,491 I feel sorry that we let the fans down. 775 00:42:55,242 --> 00:42:57,202 We lost. Very badly. 776 00:42:59,037 --> 00:43:00,247 But we tried. 777 00:43:00,873 --> 00:43:02,416 We gave it everything we had, 778 00:43:02,499 --> 00:43:07,796 and for me, that is okay because what's worse is not to try at all. 779 00:43:08,547 --> 00:43:11,925 To try is scary, you know, because you can end up losing a lot. 780 00:43:12,801 --> 00:43:15,012 -But you have to put your heart out there. -[sighs] 781 00:43:16,346 --> 00:43:17,764 Otherwise, what's the point? 782 00:43:20,100 --> 00:43:21,101 Thank you. 783 00:43:40,662 --> 00:43:43,832 -[breathes deeply] -[phone chimes] 784 00:43:45,334 --> 00:43:46,877 [phone chimes] 785 00:43:54,426 --> 00:43:56,428 ["Somewhere Only We Know" playing] 786 00:44:04,019 --> 00:44:05,020 [groans] 787 00:44:06,104 --> 00:44:07,523 Yeah. [sniffs] 788 00:44:13,820 --> 00:44:15,822 [groans, sighs] 789 00:44:21,995 --> 00:44:23,830 Why did you send me your address? 790 00:44:24,498 --> 00:44:25,499 For next time. 791 00:44:34,132 --> 00:44:36,510 [kissing] 792 00:44:36,593 --> 00:44:37,594 [Rebecca] Mmm. 793 00:44:39,054 --> 00:44:41,056 [song continues]